Tag Archives: Trauma

Eight tips on how to “hold space” for people

What does it mean to hold space for someone else?
It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome.
When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.

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Holding space is not something that’s exclusive to facilitators, coaches, or palliative care nurses.
It is something that ALL of us can do for each other – for our partners, children, friends, neighbours, and even strangers who strike up conversations as we’re riding the bus to work.

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Remember

  1. Give people permission to trust their own intuition and wisdom.
  2. Give people only as much information as they can handle.
  3. Don’t take their power away.
  4. Keep your own ego out of it.
  5. Make them feel safe enough to fail.
  6. Give guidance and help with humility and thoughtfulness.
  7. Create a container for complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc.
  8. Allow them to make different decisions and to have different experiences than you would.

Holding space is not something that we can master overnight, or that can be adequately addressed in a list of tips like the ones just given. It’s a complex practice that evolves as we practice it, and it is unique to each person and each situation.

me and mom

 

> Read more: What it means to “hold space” for people, plus eight tips on how to do it well

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Health affairs, Lifestyle, Quotations or Citations, Social affairs, Welfare matters

Should I Have An Abortion

Too many people are fast to condemn others, often they do not know the background of that person or about the facts that occurred to that person.

A person facing a traumatic experience or even a life changing event has it not always so easy as many think to make a choice.

Every child, every life is important. Every future of a human being is also important.

People having to make an important step in their life she should remind herself of the choice she’s already made to leave a bad relationship or to what happened unwanted in her life.
It is good that there are organisations ready to help those who have many life questions.
They are needed to create the place where there can be trust. A listening ear and understanding.

Any organisation or person has to have as much respect for the unborn human life but also for the human person who has to live with her ordeal.

It is important that whatever the person decides to do beforehand she has received all the information she has to know and has get to know the pro’s and the con’s. We must know that when she decides whether or not to have this child, all the knowledge and the feelings she’s experienced in her life up to this point will have helped her to choose.

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loving children + always wanted them + determined not to have her children suffer through poverty & unhappy circumstances the way she and her siblings did

abusive relationship

currently in school + unemployed

having endometriosis => have difficulty getting pregnant

to have a healthy mother + father not possible right now

need for a stable career

concerned about the karmic implications of abortion > she’d prefer this soul return to her at a time when she can offer it a beautiful life with a beautiful father.

leaving an abusive relationship = a giant step

there’s no right or wrong

to pay attention to the way she feels when she thinks each thought

Follow the feeling of happiness, of love, of relief, and know that she’ll have lessons either way she chooses.

The key is to follow the better feeling thought.

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Preceding articles:

Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

Not an easy decision to make

Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake

How to heal after childhood sexual abuse

“Til It Happens To You” by Lady Gaga

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Ask The Council

This post is about questions from a reader named S. who’s learned she’s pregnant. She loves children, always wanted them, and has been determined not to have her children suffer through poverty and unhappy circumstances the way she and her siblings did.

She left the father of the fetus the day before she learned she was pregnant because the relationship was an abusive one. S. says she’s currently in school and unemployed. Recently she was told by her doctor she has endometriosis and will have difficulty getting pregnant.

S. says she’s confused. She’s aware other spiritualists say it’s bad to abort a fetus unless it’s with a loving intention. She’d like her child to have a healthy mother and father, she knows this isn’t possible right now, and feels the need for a stable career.

Just days before she learned she was pregnant S. felt great comfort in her decision to leave her ex-boyfriend, and…

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Social affairs, Welfare matters

How to heal after childhood sexual abuse

In the debate about abortion too many people do forget to look closely at what had happened before the person got pregnant and why there could be justifications for acts to be taken.

In certain countries there are very young children who come with child against their wishes and after not just sexual abuse but after sexual violence they have to endure stressful trauma’s which will haunt them for the whole of their life.

The young innocent being lost their innocence and after their traumatic experience they need a listening soul, not condemning them straight away but having comprehension and willing to show sincere help.

After their traumatic experience society has to be very careful not to ‘rape’ them once more.

It is totally wrong to assume that the person must have had some pleasure in the physical touch and therefore must be guilty as well. In certain instances events can take place where there maybe may have been a feeling of love towards the perpetrator who gave them special attention.

Wounds are made and the victim, because that is what she is, can’t go on fighting forever. And with a confrontation with what is growing inside her there may be even a bigger battle going on.

They really needs guts; courage to look inside themselves, feel the emotional pain, willing to look for solutions which shall make it less painful in the future. Lots of emotions have to be released and new strength has to be found. If not, they will not be able to recover and not able to enjoy their lives as much as possible, having normal relationships.

Please, Let us be more understanding of sexual victims.

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To remember

  • healing from childhood sexual abuse = long and tedious process
  • All various emotions = to be felt and released
  • suppressing emotions does not help
  • Eat well, rest + get lots of sleep
  • no miracle cures or quick answers
  • You will need to work through
    feelings of loss and its impact on your life + feelings of betrayal and perhaps a desire to punish those involved for what happened + for not looking after you
    any shame you feel and learn that it is safe to open back up to love, sexuality, passion and joy
  • You will need to learn to trust others and allow yourself to be vulnerable again.
  • Do your best to support yourself with kindness, love and friendship >  Be the loving parent to yourself that you wished your parents were.
  • Love = melt the armour and help the emotions to surface
  • allow to be vulnerable, weak, and to be looked after by others
  • Life is meant to be enjoyed. Just this and other experiences get in the way. Do the work to free yourself from the past, so that you can enjoy the rest of your life and make the most of it. You can do it and it’s worth doing.
  • Go easy with yourself. You don’t need to dig through your past trying to find clues about what did or didn’t happen. it will surface when it is meant to, when you are strong enough and ready to process it.

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Preceding articles:

Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

Not an easy decision to make

Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake

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Find also to read:

Stronger than anything that wants to destroy

 

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Further reading:

  1. Sexual Violence and the Media
  2. Global Sexual Violence: Breaking the Cycle
  3. Sexual Violence – Prevention and Response
  4. Violence Against Women: When Are We Going to Address It, Seriously?
  5. New York magazine to publish week-long survey of college sex
  6. Guns on Campus: Sending the Wrong Message to Men
  7. Is the Office for Civil Rights Taking Over Campus Sexual Assault Discipline Systems Through Resolution Agreements?
  8. International Day of the Girl Child ……AIDS Healthcare Foundation
  9. Why I Fear Going Home On My Own
  10. India shamed by sexual violence
  11. Outrage in India after 2 teens arrested for raping 2-year-old girl
  12. They Claimed It Never Happened: A Woman is Arrested After Reporting Her Rape
  13. Saskatchewan rolls out anti-sexual violence public awareness campaign
  14. pornography’s link to sexual violence
  15. Rape: we are all at risk
  16. Debunking the Mythologies of Rape
  17. The #1 thing I want people to do this week to support ace survivors
  18. A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
  19. Going back to the place where I was raped
  20. ‘On the Pull’
  21. I Was Almost a Police Officer: An Interview with Melodia
  22. way to be careless
  23. sssssssssss
  24. Detroit’s Kym Worthy turns to football rivalry to fund rape kit testing
  25. Abusers Cannot Be The Face of Anti-Violence Campaigning
  26. Welcome, Widen Agents!
  27. SACHA in Bathrooms
  28. To Survivors Of Sexual Violence
  29. False Reporting is Rare
  30. Reclaiming My Self
  31. Women, Peace, and Security: What’s to come?
  32. Detroit women pledge $600k to solve untested rape-kit crisis
  33. Yazidis in the face of rape, enslavement: “We will not die … we will live”
  34. This man saved 40,000 women. Will he win the Nobel Peace Prize?
  35. Indiana University frat suspended due to video of apparent sexual hazing
  36. From “Slutwalk” to March: Philadelphia Brings Rape Culture Awareness
  37. We Don’t Allow Sexual Violence in Real Life, So Why Do We Allow it in Video Games?
  38. A Call to ASUPS to Prioritize Sexual Violence Prevention
  39. Judge deals Bill Cosby a major legal blow
  40. Marriage is not a license to rape
  41. Responses to Sexual Violence Within the British Criminal Justice System Pt 2: Problematic Views
  42. Trauma, the Brain, and Why the Positive Impact We Can Have on Kids Is so Important!
  43. Women of #nzpol Twitter: on the incarceration of trans women in male prisons
  44. Discover Haiti | Story about the Struggles of Haitian Women
  45. #NotAskingForIt – a review of Louise O’Neills ‘Asking for It’
  46. My Scratching Shows My Pain

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Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith

light of godThis is a gigantic topic that can not be addressed in one blog. We will give some general guidance and cover other aspects in future blogs. Childhood sexual abuse is a heinous act that takes away a child’s sense of innocence and trust in the world. Whether the act was done in a violent or loving manner it rips apart a child’s identity. They are no longer a child living in a world of mystery, awe and learning. They no longer can lose themselves in the moment, they lose spontaneity and joy for life. In its place come watching, scanning for danger, for fear of it happening again. Confusion terrifies – is it good, bad, dirty, evil? Am I a bad person because of it? Why is it a secret? Why mustn’t others know? All of this takes a child out of a child’s mindset and experience of life. It…

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Health affairs, Juridical matters, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Social affairs, Welfare matters

Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake

Often when an awful trauma comes over a young female person, when the ‘person’ is taken away from her, she does not only feel a prey but becomes also the hunted by society who points with a damning finger when she wants to make an end to that what the intruder placed in her body.

In certain countries, like India and in Africa, sexually assaulted girls become cast out by their beloved ones and by the community. They have to carry the wounds of the awful event with them for their all life.

Those who say they can not stop the childbearing have to wonder themselves what they would do in such a situation and should better listen to some people who experienced the trauma of their life.

For all the anti-abortion groups and people who condemn those girls who decided to undergo an abortion it is best to listen also to the voices of those victims.
Witnessing for this reason is very important. If there can be no empathy on the part of the anti-abortionist leagues communication and understanding on both parts will stay difficult.

For sure too often the victim is blamed for what went wrong and often the rapist can go without punishments and even gets some encouragement from others.

What rape victims need is a comprehending ear and people who can understand why and how they feel and why they want to take certain decisions.

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To remember:

  • eviscerated rape survivors > over how they deal with their rapes
  • consent activists come down on a survivor for saying her rape was less traumatic than most
  • incredible pressure on victims to ‘tell the police or shut the fuck up.’

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  • Rape is not drama (overreaction) + play for attention, a performance < This is a total wrong attitude and wrong thinking; Those rape victims are not at all wanting to get more attention. Many of them would prefer to go in a little corner and often feel a nobody
  • When telling a survivor that they’re attention-seeking =  you’re saying =  “Rape is not so bad. Shut the fuck up and get over it.”
  • impossible to overreact to rape = can’t think of a damn thing in this life that is harder to cope with
  • Dealing with rape = one of the most gut-wrenching, confusing things this life has to throw at a person
  • responses not always going to look elegant, selfless, and wise => no perfect response to rape
  • rape survivor responding normally to an abnormal situation
  • Judging rape survivor’s responding =  like judging a tree for moving when the wind blows = requiring someone who is going through hell to fulfil your expectations as a casual observer
  • needs + expectations rape victim = about them
  • victims not psychologically well enough to get through a case
  • sometimes there is no evidence = spent months, or often years, agonising over their options in terms of a case

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Preceding articles:

Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

Not an easy decision to make

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Find also to read:

  1. Subcutaneous power for humanity 2 1950-2010 Post war generations
  2. Stronger than anything that wants to destroy

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Further reading:

  1. Society is the problem and the disease… forcing sexual abuse & child sexual abuse survivors, to suffer more.
  2. No, I don’t want paedophiles, rapists, sex offenders etc, to be beaten up, abused back.
  3. It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.
  4. Numbing…..helps me cope, with the severity of all the heinous abuse, I have endured.
  5. Too many people, have touched my soul, with their dirty hands.
  6. Ignore the troll on my facebook page – Nefertari/Abortion page admin/LisaMarie
  7. Using Charlotte Dawson’s abortion ‘only’, by Fred Nile for his own agenda, is digusting.
  8. I knew some Christians would ‘need’ to talk about abortion, in relation to Charlotte Dawson’s death.
  9. Where do Abused Children turn for Help?
  10. You can Not Stop Abuse…(Or how I slid off the Bell-Shaped Curve of Sane decisions)
  11. This is Your Brain…This is Your Brain on Abuse
  12. Why Abuse Victims often feel they are Swimming Upstream
  13. Ultimate Recovery from Abuse
  14. A child, who is abused, is a child no more

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It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Posttraumatic stress disorder does not have to be a lifelong disorder. Being exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as sexual assault, warfare, serious injury, or threats of imminent death may result in feelings of intense fear, horror, and powerlessness and for sure can make it that we carry the memories of it and the anxiety with it all our life with us. But it has not to derange us for all our lifetime. The bad experiences which we encountered we can use also for the good, conquering the problems it gave us and helping others with the bad experience we had.

In case we allow the bad experience get deep into us and let it make us depressed, we allow it to conquer us. We should try to make ourselves stronger than the experience, how bad it might be, and stand up against it, showing our teeth or or ‘balls’.

Jehovah God also provided a solution for all the evil in this world and brought salvation for our pains and worries. By the death of His son we are saved. When we accept the sacrificial offer of Jesus Christ, the son of God, we can find solace, but we must know that shall not take away the temptations, the tribulations, the pains, a.o. we shall have to endure whilst in this time system.

It is in God and in His son we must put our hope and look forward to the return of Christ and the coming Kingdom of God.

In the meantime we can trust the Most High He will protect us and never let things test us more than we can bear. But when we are victim of bad events we should let us get down and let evil win. The adversary of God, (Satan) which can be any or every person, shall be able to feel our doubt and try us out. We should stand strong.

It is impossible to be strong every day, or to feel at ease or to be happy all the time. We have to face our ups and downs and be aware we have more strength in us than we ever would think. It is there deep in us, but we ourselves have to dig after it.

And yes at moments we do have to give ourself a break, but having self compassion shall never help. Self-pity is the thing we can miss most. Though it does not mean we can not have days that we just find it okay to lie down, pull the blanket up over our head and say nope…..”I can’t do this right now.” But know that there is tomorrow again a day and than it would be possible perhaps. Just get up and try to do it. You can!

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Please do read: Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

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  • An Analysis of Self (christopherryandueck.wordpress.com)
    Some days I find myself agreeing whith those people who think what I have is nothing more than an excuse to be miserable. Maybe my headaches, my joint pain, my halucinations and all the other problems I deal with are simply me wanting to be a victim. I spend entirely too much time second guessing myself, especially when it comes to the depression and anxiety I feel almost constantly. What if I am making it all up? It isn’t something I can “prove” to people who don’t think that mental illness is a real medical problem and because of that I sometimes fall into that trap. I feel guilty for going to my many doctor’s appointments even though I know I would not be able to hold onto a job if I didn’t, but try explaining that to people who’s idea of dealing with mental health is “suck it up”.
  • We All Have A Choice (foodforthespiritualsoul.wordpress.com)
    Love of the self. It is something that we have been deceived into thinking, and reasoning out to ourselves, that hinder us from completely being obedient to God, the Father of Creation’s, Will of the lives He gave us. Jesus Christ, as God’s Son, showed us through His Death on the Cross, at Calvary, that complete obedience to God’s Ways of Unconditional Love, Mercy, and Nonviolence, should be upheld at All Costs, even if it requires death to the human body, to save the soul that He has given you to keep guard over. That we value God’s Ways, above the world’s ways, that is running rampant with Violence, Unforgiveness, and Self Love. People say we should love ourself.
  • Psalm 6 (kittyjonesblog.wordpress.com)

    O Jehovah, self-existent One,

    please do not breathe out angry condemnation or discipline over me,

    even though I deserve it.

    Please be merciful for I am weak and vulnerable.

  • Thick or thin, the battle within. (meaningfulmeanderingsofsuz.wordpress.com)
    We hear a lot about thick vs. thin skin and it is even somewhat of a mantra in many households.   Parents tell their kids they better get it or life will be just so much harder to survive.   Companies tell their employees to not be so sensitive about rejection or what anyone else says. Thin skinned people seem to be perceived as weak and too fragile to deal with real life. And then there’s sensitivity training for those who have built the proverbial thick skin they were chastised for not having in the first place and then expect everyone else to have the same rhino-esque qualities.
  • Persistent symptoms following concussion may be posttraumatic stress disorder (medicalxpress.com)
    Concussion accounts for more than 90 percent of all TBIs, although little is known about prognosis for the injury. The symptoms cited as potentially being part of PCS fall into three areas: cognitive, somatic and emotional. But the interpretation of symptoms after MTBI should also take into account that injuries are often sustained during psychologically distressing events which can lead to PTSD.

    The authors conducted a study of injured patients at an emergency department in a hospital in France to examine whether persistent symptoms three months after a head injury were specific to concussion or may be better described as part of PTSD. The study included 534 patients with head injury and 827 control patients with nonhead injuries.

    Three months after the injury, 21.2 percent of head-injured and 16.3 percent of nonhead-injured patients met the diagnosis of PCS; 8.8 percent of head-injured patients met the criteria for PTSD compared with 2.2 percent of control patients.

  • Why Me?! (christiboronow.wordpress.com)
    I could not count how many times I’ve asked this question…whether it be because something awesome just happened and I’m stunned that it happened to me. Or because I’m going through some ridiculous trial and am at a loss of strength and will to keep fighting. This evening I asked, “why me, God…why?”
    Not because my life is going according to my plan, but because it seems like my whole world is falling apart. The last several months have been a constant trial and if I’m completely honest, I am at my absolute end. I have no strength to keep fighting, my body is exhausted, I just had an emergency surgery, my grandma is in her last few miles of life fighting cancer, and I have hit a massive brick wall. I sit here typing this post as my stomach flips out in pain and all I want to do is sleep.
  • Write to the Point with Angie Brashear (5020genesis.wordpress.com)
    As a nonbeliever for the majority of my life, I enjoyed reading speculative fiction and it was the The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis which ultimately opened my eyes to Christ. My prayer is that my stories will do the same for others. I also hope believers will enjoy the Christian undertones of my work.
  • The End? (wifeafterdeath.com)
    After Mark survived His sudden and savage illness in 2008, He had one goal: never to let it define Him. He took the pills, checked in for INR tests, trundled down to Oxford for His annual review. He reluctantly acceded to these things because a man with a stethoscope and big glasses told Him He had to.

    A less optimistic person may have allowed the regime to take over their lives. But not my husband. It spurred Him on to achieve and conquer. In fact, most of the time He’d have you believe it never happened. (Except in those rare, dark moments of reality which seeped in unseen and made us both sob at the cruelty of it all.)

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Woke up at around 4am’ish, from a nightmare. A nightmare about severe abuse no-one should ever even know about, let alone endure, feel such pain and suffering.

To re-experience this kind of abuse, always seems so deeply cruel. Wasn’t it enough that I had to suffer at that time, do I have to keep enduring it over and over? Seems like I do. Because I am.

It feels like I am being punished, ‘getting what I deserve’, as I was told in the past. Repeatedly.

I do try really hard to be as positive as I can, but days like today are so hard. Already tired, waking up with major anxiety from the nightmare, is not the best way to start your day.

On days like today, I wonder if I will ever be free of PTSD? Free of nightmares? Free of re-experiencing severe sexual abuse, I never deserved and…

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Thoughts on Passover

The traditional Passover Seder Haggadah is not just for Jews—it will move spiritual progressives both secular and religious.

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Thoughts on Passover by Shari Motro

How does one leave home in peace?

Read metaphorically, the Exodus story—which Jews will retell during the upcoming Passover holiday—offers some clues to answering this most universal of questions.

Moses is born a Hebrew slave, but he is raised in Pharaoh’s palace. The setup is an exaggerated version of something familiar to many—to anyone who has wondered whether some cosmic accident landed her with the wrong family; anyone who has felt uncomfortable about the privileges she accrued by virtue of her birth; anyone who at some point experienced her parents as oppressive or narrow. Egypt, in Hebrew, means “narrow place.”

Moses’ initial reaction is the classic teenage rebellion—it’s rash, it’s risky, and it gets him into deep trouble. After witnessing an Egyptian beating a Hebrew slave, Moses kills the Egyptian, buries him in the sand, and runs. He tries to disappear, to start over. In Midian, Moses marries a local and has a son who he names Gershom, Stranger (“For I was a stranger in a strange land,” he says).

But running away doesn’t work. At some point, those of us who leave unfinished business behind are called to return. For Moses, the call starts as a fire, a fire that burns but doesn’t consume. The burning bush is a fire that can be neither put out nor ignored.

Miniature ofrom Folio 8r of the Syriac Bible o...

Miniature ofrom Folio 8r of the Syriac Bible of Paris shows Moses before Pharaoh. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Moses goes home to face the conflict he ran from. His task is to negotiate, to mediate between the slaves and Pharaoh, both of whom symbolize aspects of every human soul. He will eventually leave again, but in a different way. Leaving home in peace requires acknowledging the naysaying voice within. Moses can’t leave Egypt for good until his ability to dream his own future overwhelms his fear, until he stands before Pharaoh and speaks his truth.

Yes, I killed the Egyptian.

Yes, I’ve turned my back on you. Look, I’m not you. I’m a different person.

Yes, I want to leave.

Will you let me go?

Pharaoh says no, as parents do. Sometimes parents say no even when they know that eventually they will relent, that everybody will be better off when they do. Nevertheless, some inexplicable force compels them to dig in their heels, to wield their power while they still have it.

Of course, Pharaoh is an extreme example. This is the point of archetypal myths: they use extremes to illustrate lessons that apply to us all. Pharaoh symbolizes attachment—the eminently human tendency to resist change. The plagues are the suffering that results from attachment. Each plague is a message from Pharaoh’s higher self, like a body that keeps getting sick until you listen to it.

For Moses, the message of the plagues may be this: Your blossoming into your most radiant self is not the true cause of suffering—Pharaoh’s suffering, your own suffering, anybody’s. The cause of suffering is resistance.

After the tenth and most devastating plague—the death of the firstborn—Pharaoh finally relents, and the Israelites leave “in haste.” They leave so quickly they can’t wait for their bread to rise; this is why we eat unleavened bread on Passover. What’s the message here?

When the force holding you back finally relents—go. GO. Don’t be scared; don’t feel guilty; don’t hang around saying long goodbyes. It’s time.

And if Pharaoh follows at your heels and drowns in the pursuit, don’t rejoice. According to one interpretation, this is what God said to the angels who sang as the Egyptian chariots were swallowed by the sea:

“Don’t rejoice, for they are my creatures too.”

And yet, the texts are also filled with the opposite, with joy.

Anyone who has succeeded in breaking free knows this tension well. Our glee is tinged with something else, with the sinking recognition that our naysayers’ grief is our grief. And… surviving requires not allowing ourselves to drown in their tears. Surviving is rejoicing despite their pain.

Somehow, on the other side of it all, there is a place where all is forgiven, where the narrowness of our birth canal—every trauma, every grief—becomes a source of love and gratitude, where zero-sum gives way to abundance, where Pharaoh and Moses are one.

I’ve seen only glimpses of this place. For me, this is the Promised Land.

– by Shari Motro

Shari Motro is a professor of law at the University of Richmond.

From the Sikkum Special Seder Messages for Passover

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Preceding posts:

Commemorating the escape from slavery

The Evolution Of Passover–Past To Present

Passover and Liberation Theology

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Additional reading:

  1. Deliverance and establishement of a theocracy
  2. Moving around looking for a homeland
  3. 14 Nisan a day to remember #5 The Day to celebrate
  4. The Song of The Lamb #7 Revelation 15
  5. Materialism, would be life, and aspirations
  6. Emotional pain and emotional deadness
  7. Meaning of life 
  8. Suffering
  9. Offer in our suffering
  10. God helper and deliverer
  11. God’s instruction about joy and suffering
  12. God’s promises to us in our suffering
  13. Suffering – through the apparent silence of God
  14. Suffering continues
  15. Suffering leading to joy
  16. Surprised by time in joys & sufferings
  17. 1 -15 Nisan
  18. Day of remembrance coming near
  19. Another way looking at a language #4 Ancient times
  20. Self inflicted misery #5 A prophet without a hedge around him
  21. The Advent of the saviour to Roman oppression
  22. Seven days of Passover
  23. On the first day for matzah
  24. A new exodus and offering of a Lamb
  25. Children ate the OT passover so why not NT bread and wine?
  26. High Holidays not only for Israel
  27. Around the feast of Unleavened Bread
  28. Festival of Freedom and persecutions
  29. 14-15 Nisan and Easter

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  • The Ancient Egyptians Worshiped Sheep (acquiescere9.wordpress.com) > The Ancient Egyptians Worshiped SheepUltimately, the Torah tells us, God commanded the Israelites to take a lamb or a kid for each household. They were to hold it for four days, from the tenth until the fourteenth of the first month, and slaughter it on the fourteenth. This was done in Egypt, despite the Egyptians’ religious beliefs. To this day Jews commemorate this event, calling the Sabbath preceding Passover Shabbat Hagadol
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    Torah Parshat Va’eira Exodus 6:2-9:3
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    Parshah Yitro Exodus 18:1-20:23
  • This Passover 2012, Remember (Again!) – It’s Not Your Religion That Matters, But Your Humanity (nobodysview.wordpress.com)
    A drop of wine is spilled with each recitation in memory of those who suffered in Egypt…not the Jews, but the Egyptians.I guess it’s a solemn reminder that when blood of any kind is spilled, we all lose a little something.  Then, it is important to remember that when there are those in bondage around the world, we ourselves (no matter our religion) are in some way in bondage.
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    It’s 5773, but the Message of Passover 2013 Is Still as Strong as Ever
    There were wanderings, new beginnings, divisions, and some heartache, but in the end, the destination was reached.
  • Preparing for Passover: Six Ways to Prepare (coffeeshoprabbi.com)
    Traditionally, Jews spend the month after Purim preparing for Passover. A lot of the holiday is in the preparation: the seder and the week that follows are the fruit of what we’ve put in the month before. I thought it might be helpful to look at the various ways we prepare for Passover.  If this is your first year observing Passover, don’t try to do everything at once. Choose one or two, and get all that you can out of them.
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    Passover is the festival of telling the story about “deliverance from Egypt.” If you are truly to experience deliverance, it helps to notice from what you need deliverance. Spend some time, between now and Passover, thinking about your own personal Egypt(s). The name for Egypt in Hebrew is “Mitzrayim,” which also means “a narrow place, a tight spot.” Questions to ask myself: Where in my life am I stuck? To what am I a slave? In what parts of my life am I Pharaoh? Do I depend on the slavery of others? What would freedom look like, in any of these cases? What would freedom cost? What is freedom worth?
  • Who Would You Rather Listen To? (spinningrabbi.com)
    One of those valuable lessons of this remembering, is this – G-d freed the Jews so that they were no longer physical slaves, yet they were still slaves.  Now they were their own Pharaoh and the slavery was of the self-imposed spiritual and emotional variety.  Once physically free, it was up to them to free themselves spiritually and emotionally.This lesson applies to all people who are blessed to live in freedom today.  This means that the only one who can free you now, is you.  It’s up to you to free yourself from your personal Egypt.
  • Christian Bale as Moses in ‘Exodus’: First Look (PHOTO) (news.moviefone.com)
    Empire has our first look at Ridley Scott’s “Exodus,” and judging by the impressive construction going on behind Christian Bale‘s Moses, this Biblical tale should be epic indeed.The film follows the story of Moses, abandoned as a baby and adopted by Egyptian royalty, only to hear the voice of God as he grows older and ultimately lead the Israelite slaves into the promised land. In this image, Moses witnesses the suffering of his people at the hands of the Pharaoh.
  • Pharaoh’s Overthrow (brakeman1.com)
    There were six hundred thousand men, besides women and children.  God caused a pillar of cloud to go before them in the daytime, to show them the way they were to take, and at night He led them by a pillar of fire.After the children of Israel had left Egypt, Pharaoh, though his kingdom had been nearly destroyed for his disobedience to God, was angry with himself for having let them go.  So he gathered together a great army, and pursued them to where they were encamped, in the wilderness by the Red Sea.
  • The Ancient Egyptians Worshiped Sheep (menashedovid1.wordpress.com)> The Ancient Egyptians Worshiped Sheep
    the Torah tells us, God commanded the Israelites to take a lamb or a kid for each household. They were to hold it for four days, from the tenth until the fourteenth of the first month, and slaughter it on the fourteenth. This was done in Egypt, despite the Egyptians’ religious beliefs. To this day Jews commemorate this event, calling the Sabbath preceding Passover Shabbat Hagadol…
  • Passover Primer (boiseweekly.com)
    If you’ve walked through a Treasure Valley Albertson’s recently, you’ve probably noticed a table piled high with unfamiliar items–boxes of Streit’s Potato Pancakes, giant packages of Yehuda Passover Matzos, bottles of Kedem Sparkling Concord Grape Juice and murky jars of Mrs. Adler’s Gefilte Fish filled with bobbing, grayish lumps.
  • Now Faith Is (faithrises.com)
    Through faith he kept the passover, and the sprinkling of blood, lest He that destroyed the firstborn should touch them.
  • Max, Hannah and some frogs: Kids’ books bring new friends (jta.org)
    Frolicking frogs and magical matzah balls are featured in this season’s crop of new Passover books for children that are sure to engage, inform, entertain and inspire.David Adler, author of the hugely popular early reader “Cam Jansen” series, offers “The Story of Passover.” Adler is highly acclaimed for his straightforward narrative style in non-fiction books, including dozens on Jewish holidays.David A. Adler in "The Story of Passover" provides little-known answers to some intriguing questions. (Courtesy Holiday House)He says he likes to appeal to readers of any Jewish background, whether from traditional, observant Jewish families or those who are interested in learning about Passover.

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