Tag Archives: Rape

“Til It Happens To You” by Lady Gaga

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A portion of proceeds from the sale of the song will be donated to organizations helping survivors of sexual assault.

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Preceding articles:

Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

Not an easy decision to make

Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake

How to heal after childhood sexual abuse

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Video, Welfare matters

How to heal after childhood sexual abuse

In the debate about abortion too many people do forget to look closely at what had happened before the person got pregnant and why there could be justifications for acts to be taken.

In certain countries there are very young children who come with child against their wishes and after not just sexual abuse but after sexual violence they have to endure stressful trauma’s which will haunt them for the whole of their life.

The young innocent being lost their innocence and after their traumatic experience they need a listening soul, not condemning them straight away but having comprehension and willing to show sincere help.

After their traumatic experience society has to be very careful not to ‘rape’ them once more.

It is totally wrong to assume that the person must have had some pleasure in the physical touch and therefore must be guilty as well. In certain instances events can take place where there maybe may have been a feeling of love towards the perpetrator who gave them special attention.

Wounds are made and the victim, because that is what she is, can’t go on fighting forever. And with a confrontation with what is growing inside her there may be even a bigger battle going on.

They really needs guts; courage to look inside themselves, feel the emotional pain, willing to look for solutions which shall make it less painful in the future. Lots of emotions have to be released and new strength has to be found. If not, they will not be able to recover and not able to enjoy their lives as much as possible, having normal relationships.

Please, Let us be more understanding of sexual victims.

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To remember

  • healing from childhood sexual abuse = long and tedious process
  • All various emotions = to be felt and released
  • suppressing emotions does not help
  • Eat well, rest + get lots of sleep
  • no miracle cures or quick answers
  • You will need to work through
    feelings of loss and its impact on your life + feelings of betrayal and perhaps a desire to punish those involved for what happened + for not looking after you
    any shame you feel and learn that it is safe to open back up to love, sexuality, passion and joy
  • You will need to learn to trust others and allow yourself to be vulnerable again.
  • Do your best to support yourself with kindness, love and friendship >  Be the loving parent to yourself that you wished your parents were.
  • Love = melt the armour and help the emotions to surface
  • allow to be vulnerable, weak, and to be looked after by others
  • Life is meant to be enjoyed. Just this and other experiences get in the way. Do the work to free yourself from the past, so that you can enjoy the rest of your life and make the most of it. You can do it and it’s worth doing.
  • Go easy with yourself. You don’t need to dig through your past trying to find clues about what did or didn’t happen. it will surface when it is meant to, when you are strong enough and ready to process it.

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Preceding articles:

Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

Not an easy decision to make

Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake

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Find also to read:

Stronger than anything that wants to destroy

 

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Further reading:

  1. Sexual Violence and the Media
  2. Global Sexual Violence: Breaking the Cycle
  3. Sexual Violence – Prevention and Response
  4. Violence Against Women: When Are We Going to Address It, Seriously?
  5. New York magazine to publish week-long survey of college sex
  6. Guns on Campus: Sending the Wrong Message to Men
  7. Is the Office for Civil Rights Taking Over Campus Sexual Assault Discipline Systems Through Resolution Agreements?
  8. International Day of the Girl Child ……AIDS Healthcare Foundation
  9. Why I Fear Going Home On My Own
  10. India shamed by sexual violence
  11. Outrage in India after 2 teens arrested for raping 2-year-old girl
  12. They Claimed It Never Happened: A Woman is Arrested After Reporting Her Rape
  13. Saskatchewan rolls out anti-sexual violence public awareness campaign
  14. pornography’s link to sexual violence
  15. Rape: we are all at risk
  16. Debunking the Mythologies of Rape
  17. The #1 thing I want people to do this week to support ace survivors
  18. A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
  19. Going back to the place where I was raped
  20. ‘On the Pull’
  21. I Was Almost a Police Officer: An Interview with Melodia
  22. way to be careless
  23. sssssssssss
  24. Detroit’s Kym Worthy turns to football rivalry to fund rape kit testing
  25. Abusers Cannot Be The Face of Anti-Violence Campaigning
  26. Welcome, Widen Agents!
  27. SACHA in Bathrooms
  28. To Survivors Of Sexual Violence
  29. False Reporting is Rare
  30. Reclaiming My Self
  31. Women, Peace, and Security: What’s to come?
  32. Detroit women pledge $600k to solve untested rape-kit crisis
  33. Yazidis in the face of rape, enslavement: “We will not die … we will live”
  34. This man saved 40,000 women. Will he win the Nobel Peace Prize?
  35. Indiana University frat suspended due to video of apparent sexual hazing
  36. From “Slutwalk” to March: Philadelphia Brings Rape Culture Awareness
  37. We Don’t Allow Sexual Violence in Real Life, So Why Do We Allow it in Video Games?
  38. A Call to ASUPS to Prioritize Sexual Violence Prevention
  39. Judge deals Bill Cosby a major legal blow
  40. Marriage is not a license to rape
  41. Responses to Sexual Violence Within the British Criminal Justice System Pt 2: Problematic Views
  42. Trauma, the Brain, and Why the Positive Impact We Can Have on Kids Is so Important!
  43. Women of #nzpol Twitter: on the incarceration of trans women in male prisons
  44. Discover Haiti | Story about the Struggles of Haitian Women
  45. #NotAskingForIt – a review of Louise O’Neills ‘Asking for It’
  46. My Scratching Shows My Pain

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Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith

light of godThis is a gigantic topic that can not be addressed in one blog. We will give some general guidance and cover other aspects in future blogs. Childhood sexual abuse is a heinous act that takes away a child’s sense of innocence and trust in the world. Whether the act was done in a violent or loving manner it rips apart a child’s identity. They are no longer a child living in a world of mystery, awe and learning. They no longer can lose themselves in the moment, they lose spontaneity and joy for life. In its place come watching, scanning for danger, for fear of it happening again. Confusion terrifies – is it good, bad, dirty, evil? Am I a bad person because of it? Why is it a secret? Why mustn’t others know? All of this takes a child out of a child’s mindset and experience of life. It…

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Health affairs, Juridical matters, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Social affairs, Welfare matters

Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake

Often when an awful trauma comes over a young female person, when the ‘person’ is taken away from her, she does not only feel a prey but becomes also the hunted by society who points with a damning finger when she wants to make an end to that what the intruder placed in her body.

In certain countries, like India and in Africa, sexually assaulted girls become cast out by their beloved ones and by the community. They have to carry the wounds of the awful event with them for their all life.

Those who say they can not stop the childbearing have to wonder themselves what they would do in such a situation and should better listen to some people who experienced the trauma of their life.

For all the anti-abortion groups and people who condemn those girls who decided to undergo an abortion it is best to listen also to the voices of those victims.
Witnessing for this reason is very important. If there can be no empathy on the part of the anti-abortionist leagues communication and understanding on both parts will stay difficult.

For sure too often the victim is blamed for what went wrong and often the rapist can go without punishments and even gets some encouragement from others.

What rape victims need is a comprehending ear and people who can understand why and how they feel and why they want to take certain decisions.

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To remember:

  • eviscerated rape survivors > over how they deal with their rapes
  • consent activists come down on a survivor for saying her rape was less traumatic than most
  • incredible pressure on victims to ‘tell the police or shut the fuck up.’

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  • Rape is not drama (overreaction) + play for attention, a performance < This is a total wrong attitude and wrong thinking; Those rape victims are not at all wanting to get more attention. Many of them would prefer to go in a little corner and often feel a nobody
  • When telling a survivor that they’re attention-seeking =  you’re saying =  “Rape is not so bad. Shut the fuck up and get over it.”
  • impossible to overreact to rape = can’t think of a damn thing in this life that is harder to cope with
  • Dealing with rape = one of the most gut-wrenching, confusing things this life has to throw at a person
  • responses not always going to look elegant, selfless, and wise => no perfect response to rape
  • rape survivor responding normally to an abnormal situation
  • Judging rape survivor’s responding =  like judging a tree for moving when the wind blows = requiring someone who is going through hell to fulfil your expectations as a casual observer
  • needs + expectations rape victim = about them
  • victims not psychologically well enough to get through a case
  • sometimes there is no evidence = spent months, or often years, agonising over their options in terms of a case

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Preceding articles:

Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

Not an easy decision to make

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Find also to read:

  1. Subcutaneous power for humanity 2 1950-2010 Post war generations
  2. Stronger than anything that wants to destroy

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Further reading:

  1. Society is the problem and the disease… forcing sexual abuse & child sexual abuse survivors, to suffer more.
  2. No, I don’t want paedophiles, rapists, sex offenders etc, to be beaten up, abused back.
  3. It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.
  4. Numbing…..helps me cope, with the severity of all the heinous abuse, I have endured.
  5. Too many people, have touched my soul, with their dirty hands.
  6. Ignore the troll on my facebook page – Nefertari/Abortion page admin/LisaMarie
  7. Using Charlotte Dawson’s abortion ‘only’, by Fred Nile for his own agenda, is digusting.
  8. I knew some Christians would ‘need’ to talk about abortion, in relation to Charlotte Dawson’s death.
  9. Where do Abused Children turn for Help?
  10. You can Not Stop Abuse…(Or how I slid off the Bell-Shaped Curve of Sane decisions)
  11. This is Your Brain…This is Your Brain on Abuse
  12. Why Abuse Victims often feel they are Swimming Upstream
  13. Ultimate Recovery from Abuse
  14. A child, who is abused, is a child no more

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Health affairs, Juridical matters, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Social affairs, Welfare matters

Not an easy decision to make

Too many people forget in what for a difficult situation a female person may be placed when she has to choose what to do with what is growing inside her body.

Previously, before the moment the where confronted with something coming in them, they perhaps had to undergo already a lot of suffering which caused them to close their heart,

for the fear that they live in, and for all of things that they are missing out on because their hearts are hurting so much that they cannot accept the love that they are offered. {Though the words were not written about this subject, we have taken the liberty to use this beautiful phrase from the nice writing: The Sound of a Breaking Heart}

Human fetus at eight weeks. According to Catho...

Human fetus at eight weeks. According to Catholics, the debates on abortion make the human embryo and fetus signs of contradiction (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The person involved in a tragedy may well realise that the answer to her questions about the horrific slaughter of innocent people is linked to hardened hearts, but she does not want to harden her heart, because it is hurt. In herself her heart is crying, crying out loud; But not many do seem to understand her crying.

She feels the reality that

the ones who need love most are the ones who ask for it in the least loving ways, {The Sound of a Breaking Heart}

But love is often broken by heartless people, who do not mind to show their ‘higher power’.

Having been hurt ones or even more than one time, now she would get her feelings hurt a lot. And it is not that she would know better and know that while some people still aren’t aware of the love that they are capable of, she does know that we should all be capable of loving to great measures. But then why does not show the world that comprehension and love?

Though she might understand that every human heart is prone to corruption – her own included, she does not understand why so many point a finger at her, wishing to condemn her to hell.

Have those who criticise the made decision having thought what they themselves would do if they were raped or would be a victim of incest, or would be confronted with congenital malformation of the foetus?

It is so easy to condemn but so the more difficult to understand.

English: 44years old gravid female with previo...

44years old gravid female with previous 6 children, was diagnosed with carcinoma in situ of cervix (early stage cancer of womb). So total removal of uterus( woomb) considered with fetus in situ, for long life of the female. So abortion was inevitable for future health of the lady. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do those who are against abortion also think about certain cases where other matters have to be taken in account? Do they know about the many critical situations there exist for women like Ana and Aurora, two Costa Rican women who were carrying foetuses that would not survive, but which doctors did not allow them to abort.

In late 2006, a medical exam when Ana was six weeks pregnant showed that the foetus suffered from encephalocele, a malformation of the brain and skull incompatible with life outside the womb.

Ana, 26 years old at the time, requested a therapeutic abortion, arguing that carrying to term a fetus that could not survive was causing her psychological problems like depression. But the medical authorities and the Supreme Court did not authorise an abortion. In the end, her daughter was born dead after seven hours of labour.

The Collective for the Right to Decide and the Washington-based Center for Reproductive Rights brought Ana’s case before the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR), as well as that of Aurora, who was also denied the right to a therapeutic abortion.

Her case is similar to Ana’s. In 2012, it was discovered that her fetus had an abdominal wall defect, a kind of birth defect that allows the stomach, intestines, or other organs to protrude through an opening that forms on the abdomen. Her son, whose legs had never developed, and who had severe scoliosis, died shortly after birth. {Costa Rican Women Try to Pull Legal Therapeutic Abortion Out of Limbo}

In public hospitals in Costa Rica, like the Rafael Ángel Calderón hospital in San José, there is no protocol regulating legal therapeutic abortion, for doctors to follow. As a result, physicians restrict the practice to a minimum, leaving women without their right to terminate a pregnancy when their health is at risk. Credit: Diego Arguedas Ortiz/IPS

In public hospitals in Costa Rica, like the Rafael Ángel Calderón hospital in San José, there is no protocol regulating legal therapeutic abortion, for doctors to follow. As a result, physicians restrict the practice to a minimum, leaving women without their right to terminate a pregnancy when their health is at risk. Credit: Diego Arguedas Ortiz/IPS

The world has to be aware that there are different sorts of abortions. Though none would be preferable, sometimes animal man has to use their brains and has to understand that the Creator has given them brains and medical specialists to help them in their life. Everywhere in the world  women should have access to medical help and in case the medics do find that a choice has to be made to safe the mother they should be able to propose a legal abortion. In such instances there may be no lack of clear medical guidelines outlining when and how a legal abortion can be conducted.

It urged the Costa Rican state to draw up clear medical guidelines, to “widely disseminate them among health professionals and the public at large,” and to consider reviewing other circumstances under which abortion could be permitted, such as rape or incest.

The international pressure has grown. Costa Rican Judge Elizabeth Odio, recently named to the San José-based Inter-American Court of Human Rights, said in a Jun. 20 interview with the local newspaper La Nación that “it is obvious that therapeutic abortion, which already exists in our legislation, should be enforced.”

“There are doctors who believe therapeutic abortion is a crime, and they put women’s lives at risk,” said Odio. {Costa Rican Women Try to Pull Legal Therapeutic Abortion Out of Limbo}

Who wants to put the woman her life at risk for trying to bring something in the light of the day which has no life chances?

The one who was raped may cry out in the dark. The one who was tortured and pressed to do something which she hated, who is going to understand and help her? In this world there are so many women who need to find a place where they can find a listening ear, a helping hand and yes sometimes people who help her to take away the spots of ‘contagion’.

For many it may be oh so easy, oh so logic, but is it really?

– a crying woman

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Preceding articles:

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

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Additional reading:

  1. Suffering redemptive because Jesus redeemed us from sin
  2. Let us not forget it was God who chose us
  3. We love because he first loved us
  4. A philosophical error which rejects the body as part of the human person
  5. Inner feeling, morality and Inter-connection with creation
  6. Roman Catholic Church in the United States of America at war
  7. 2014 Human Rights
  8. American Senate ignoring many voices and tears of their own people
  9. About lions and babies
  10. Westboro Baptist Church and Catholic Truth against Nelson Mandela
  11. Always a choice
  12. The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around
  13. We all are changed into the same image from glory to glory
  14. God loving people justified
  15. A love not exempting us from trials
  16. Cognizance at the doorstep or at the internet socket
  17. Establish your hearts blameless in holiness
  18. Purify my heart
  19. Sow and harvests in the garden of your heart
  20. Come, walk with me and find rest for your soul
  21. I can’t believe that … (4) God’s word would be so violent
  22. Are Christadelphians so Old Fashioned?

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Further readings:

  1. Seeing Miracles In The Fog
  2. a fictional story about the effects of abortion committed years ago: Nancy’s Abrotion
  3. Video Facebook: I am Not your nut rag
  4. The Road to Matrimony… A Preamble!
  5. Ohio Man Gets Life Terms For CSA
  6. Letter I Won’t Send
  7. The Lasting Effects Of Child Abuse
  8. 19 year old girl from wood be kidnapers and winds up getting in to her life a little too deep
  9. 14 Children Of Divorce On How It’s Affected Their Views On Love & Relationships
  10. Unexpected Triggers
  11. The Church – Trigger Warning- Poetry on Incest
  12. College Rule #22
  13. What Did Trauma Do To You?
  14. Lose My Everything
  15. I pledge allegiance to the secret!
  16. How to heal after childhood sexual abuse
  17. Struggles
  18. Purity Ring…
  19. Pure Hatred
  20. Ready to remember?
  21. Severe trauma silenced victim
  22. A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (And Others)
  23. How Many Incest Offenders Do You Think You Know
  24. What Incest Has Caused in My Adulthood
  25. Focus on: Rape – What is Rape?
  26. I Don’t Think About Them
  27. Father rapes 11 year old daughter and impregnates neighbour’s daughter
  28. I should be happy
  29. Love Leaps
  30. Beauty and the beast
  31. ~Because you are Special~ Innocence Lost!
  32. Guys This Was So Scary!
  33. Raping innocence
  34. What we can learn from sexual sin of Bible heroes (podcast)
  35. thirteen
  36. Published today – Indecent exposure
  37. The Rape of Sweden
  38. Rape: we are all at risk
  39. Rape, Period
  40. Review: Asking For It by Louise O’Neill
  41. Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake
  42. Newly Married Woman #Gang #Raped by 6 Men in Assam
  43. Cries from India
  44. ‘Calculated, depraved, evil,’ HIV positive Harrisburg man charged with rape of 6-year-old
  45. 4 Forgotten Cases Of Satanic Rape And Murder That Turned Out To Be ‘Satanic Panic’
  46. It Does Not End There…
  47. How to Date a Rape Survivor – Latest Article for Vice Broadly
  48. A Mother’s Son: Breaking the Cycle of Racial-Sexual Violence.
  49. Judge upholds conviction for Owen Labrie in prep school rape case
  50. To My Niece On Her Birthday
  51. Rearview Mirror
  52. White Male Bibliobloggers and “rape threats as a matter of course”
  53. Controversy over Rape Advice?
  54. So bloody angry…
  55. KS Eshwarappa, My Sweet Summer Child
  56. Was it rape? Does it matter?
  57. Thanks a Lot, Mr. Cosby: The Huxtable Legacy and the Black American Identity Crisis
  58. Laura Bates talks feminism
  59. Consent: it’s this simple.
  60. Debunking the Mythologies of Rape
  61. The depth of misery
  62. Innocence Lost (Caution: Mature Content)
  63. India shamed by sexual violence
  64. One in seven females experience serious physical or sexual violence at university.
  65. What Do Women Want?

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Social affairs, Spiritual affairs, Welfare matters

The Things We Carry, by Penny

When we go and look for help we also should look fro the priorities of that organisation by whom we knock at the door.

Having people giving endless lectures from puberty onward about the interests of boys, from a wrong viewpoint does not help either. Catholic institutions often did not help bringing up the children to be strong enough to be themselves and to be able to cope, resist and or communicate with persons of the other sex.

In many extreme religious countries we have seen fundamentalist groups and others terrorising the female sex. Often women were considered as the lower species to bring forth the next generation and to be a puppet ‘spiel’. Many boys who got that education as well used those of the other sex as their toy. They were brought up that way. Who can blame them?

At the beginning of this 21st century the West carries still many scars of the previous century where unwanted children or babies of young girls were considered as the bad in the world which had to be cast out and the girls punished. We would not like to think how many boys or man did got away unpunished, whilst they left an unhappy girl behind.

Shame and intimidation were the easiest tactics which could bring people down. But there were also many girls who came out of it much stronger and being much more aware of this precious life.
Some went looking for their child which was taken away from them at birth. Those who got an abortion had it more difficult facing the dark spot in their life. For many of them it was like an eating cancer making them rot away in grieve.

Several countries hoped to regulate and control abortions and help children who became pregnant. But shamefully we have to conclude that several organisations had other options than the well-care of those girls and looked more at the welfare of the community and politics, nor wanting to present them with some unwanted children or with children without loving parents or not being able to grow up in a stable family.

In certain groups of the community it looks cool when the man knows to dominate the woman. Certain man tiranise their partner and often use the children to set them up against the partner.

There that partner has to make certain choices and can avoid that there do come any more children. But as we can see sometimes the male part can be so dominant and so in control, that the partner still becomes pregnant. Others do find it normal to use the woman and have not the word ‘rape’ in their vocabulary.

For victims of such beings it becomes even more difficult to make certain choices. what we may not forget is that they sometimes also are forced to go to an abortion clinic. Other times they would love an abortion, but have no means or have lots of people who take care she doesn’t.

It is good to hear some witnessing from people who went through different stadia and not only became victim of rapists, wrong sex actions, but also victim of our societies attitude or certain organisations who want to regulate and control too much.

Let us not forget that those who are brought in a situation where they have to make a choice for what is inside them, it will never be an easy choice, and it will demand courage and it will demand perseverance and shall bring a turning point in the life of that person who shall never be able to be the same.

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To remember:

  • On the sidewalk, the “antis” look at us
  • We all have reasons for being there, unique experiences we carry up and down the sidewalk.
  • bit the hand that assaulted me => scolded by the nuns for “unladylike” behavior + note sent home to parents
  • endless lectures from puberty onward that “men only want one thing – that’s how they all are, they can’t help it, and so you have to protect yourself.”
  • in order to receive any affection from men <=  to reduce myself to my body +  mind irrelevant in any romantic entanglements => took almost the rest of my life to unlearn this.
  • body only valuable thing > had little control over what happened to it
  • as sex worker > could pay my bills.
  • boyfriend “rescued”
  • went alone to a Planned Parenthood for an abortion
  • impotent rage of fighting my way through protesters, with no escorts to assist me
  • gain skills needed to survive in the nine-to-five world
  • never once doubted my decision, + don’t to this day ====> I do wish that I’d been brave enough then to confide in a friend, and that I’d had escorts to run me through the gamut of shaming
  • We need to draw a hard line here, because raising girls to believe that they are only their bodies – as blow up dolls, incubators, or punching bags – is dangerous
  • Make any choice you want, as long as it’s yours.
  • Stay brave, stay free, and may your pack be light.

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Additional reading

  1. Happiness mapping and getting over gender mapping
  2. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
  3. Eternity depends upon this short time on earth

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Everysaturdaymorning's Blog

TW:  Violence, rape

On the sidewalk, the “antis” look at us, escorts as well as clients, and based on our ages, the vehicles we drive or don’t drive, the clothes we wear, the overheard snippets of friendly conversation, they’ll tailor the harassment to what they believe is the greatest effect.

“Does your mother know you’re here – you may be an outcast!”

“That’s what a real baby is supposed to look like.”

“You are not young, nearing the end of your life – repent now!” and memorably,

“Go home and put some decent clothes on!”

We immediately think through all the counter-arguments, the snappy retorts, the “you-don’t-know-me’s,” and sometimes a client or companion will voice them. Mostly we hope to avoid the added annoyance of them learning our names. I can’t help but cringe when this happens, because any acknowledgement feeds the antis. But it’s hard. It’s so hard not…

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Health affairs, Juridical matters, Lifestyle, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Social affairs

The Real ‘Choice’

In this world were superficially everything seems to be so nice there are lots of people who at first trusted everything and everyone with their huge open heart, but by all they ever wanted was people and the world to love them back, suddenly something went totally wrong in their life.

For some such a day of horror or day of the unexpected may have the direct consequence which gets them facing one of the most uncomfortable and emotionally challenging moments they probably will ever have. For sure their experience will change their life forever.

When after such an incident they become pregnant an other difficult matter bothers their soul. At that time that person has a weight on her head she shall have to carry for her whole life. To make a decision either to carry the baby and to be confronted for the whole life with the horror experienced or to abandon the fruit of the nightmare and remember the lessons she learned along the way, will give her thoughts ‘for ever’.

It is a sad situation and the consequences in both cases are very sad for both parties.

In such instance it is the environment, the people around the victim who play an important and supporting role.
When people have voluntary sex with each other they must be aware of the consequences of their act. Though sometimes it might have happened before the girl and boy really realised what was happening. Being carried away at a young age also can happen.

Afterwards people have to realise that we as human beings have to be responsible for our acts in the past, the present and in the future. Therefore we should think before we act. And even when things which we do not like came over us and have certain consequences we would never would have liked, we should come to make choices we shall not regret later.

That is not easy.

As a wife and a mom the writer of the article calls rightly to start being real and stating what the real choice is. For her it is clear that we should look at the only two possibilities: 1. a choice to raise a kid (or to give up for adoption) or 2. it is a choice to kill.

Much more people should also come to see the second option in the first choice. That part of possibility is much too often overlooked or not looked at at all.
There are so many people hoping to get a child, but not able to get one from their own. For them an adoption would be a good solution and for many it can be a real blessing. So, what is a curse for the one should be made in a blessing for the other.

It must have been not an easy choice for the 11-year-old Paraguayan girl who denied an abortion after allegedly being raped (when 10) by her stepfather and this August gave birth to a healthy baby girl in Asunción, Paraguay, where a fierce debate was brewing over a law banning most abortions.
In that mostly Catholic country, 684 girls between the ages of 10 and 14 gave birth last year.

“The physical and psychological impact of forcing this young girl to continue with an unwanted pregnancy is tantamount to torture,”

Guadalupe Marengo, deputy director for the Americas at Amnesty International said then.

“The Paraguayan authorities cannot sit idly by while this young rape survivor is forced to endure more agony and torment.”

Naturally by abortion sometimes also comes an other terrible choice at the forefront. When the doctors are sure something is wrong with the foetus or that there never shall come out a normal child. What than?

Having to hear the ordeal of the doctors, having to be confronted having to make a choice, does not make life easy.

Others may than easily say you may not abort the foetus and have to make the best out of it. But who is going to turn up to care for years for the handicapped person? Who is going to deal with the many costs to take care? what life is one going to give to that handicapped person, when the mother is not able to take care physiologically, physically or economically?

For the ones standing at the site it may be easy to judge and condemn.

For the one to make the decisions it may be an other nightmare to go through.

Those who call themselves Christian should remember the Nazarene rabbi they should have to follow. Jesus did not judge. He will do later at the authority of his heavenly Father. In the end it is to that Father of Jesus, Who is also our Father, to Whom life belongs, knows the heart and will judge last.

It is in His hands we should leave it.

And the ones who doubt and are in our neighbourhood we should try to help to come to a good decision. we should try to show the beauty of life and how we should try to give everybody the right to live.

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To remember:

  • don’t enjoy shaming people for choices they make > haven’t been in their shoes
  • made choices in life > everyone has
  • blessed to have not been in the position to make the decision
  • pregnant with first child => beauty of real life growing inside of me was magical
  • if I would have miscarried, my mourning and grief would have been real and deep > Because I had life growing inside of me.
  • couple who has struggled to get pregnant >  You can make the decision to try, but it isn’t always that easy
  • ‘choice’ to be a parent > real choice is not whether or not you want to be a parent … but rather a choice to kill your child because you don’t want to be a parent.
  • raped = tough one
  • ask myself the option of taking care of the life or ending the life = >  consider the ‘choice’
  • wouldn’t want to live with both pains
  • always live with the consequences of their ‘choice’

Let’s stop sugarcoating it.

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Preceding articles:

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

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Through the Stillness

DSC_0125I know where I stand on the issue. Never have I heard a strong argument to make me doubt my stance. Still though, I have a hard time announcing my stance.  I don’t enjoy shaming people for choices they make.  I haven’t been in their shoes.  I have made choices in my life that I regret, everyone has.  I am not perfect.  I am not taking the ‘high horse’ stance on this.  I am no better than anyone.  I cannot stress that enough.  I know someone will be offended by these words I am about to say.  Someone will think I am being insensitive to those faced with the decision.  And––I know I have been blessed to have not been in the position to make the decision.  But nonetheless, I know what I would ‘choose’.  To me, it just isn’t even my choice to make.

I remember Mother’s Day 2009…

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My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

I would not say a person has to undergo certain situations to have an idea of what is going on in such circumstance. People can have some idea of what a person must or can undergo in a certain situation. We also do know that every person in a similar situation undergoes it differently.

Not one abortion by woman is the same as an abortion by an other woman.

In this world of a lot of violence also not all unwanted babies do come from horrible situations, like rape or unwanted sex. We also must be aware that because of no allowance or of no provision or of economical difficulties to provide for contraceptive pills, condoms and/or implanon (the rod) the world also sees about 21.6 million women each year with unsafe abortions, adolescents suffering the most from complications and having the highest unmet need for contraception ‒ yet are still not perceived as eligible for “family planning” in many countries.

We also in many countries can find medical abuse, such as refusal to provide pain relief or the use of caesarean section to avoid doing a second trimester abortion that would be illegal (Argentina) or to save the life of the baby when the woman has asked for an abortion (Ireland, Paraguay).

For those persons to come to a decision which is going to change their life for ever is not easy and often underestimated.

In our society we also have to take certain responsibilities which give no excuse to accuse the one who has become pregnant. To incriminate the person with child is an easy way to escape the responsibility of not having guided her when she was young and without child. Before things happened female beings should have learned about ways to prevent and in case something went wrong how to avoid a pregnancy (e.g. after-morning pill).

Though when no help is offered or no knowledge about safe ways was there when the person comes to know she is pregnant it will be up to that person herself to make decisions, which not always will be easy to make.

In the West the decision to have an abortion would be totally different than in China were there are about 13 million abortions conducted every year. The US, by comparison, which has about one-quarter of the population, conducts around one million annually. Forced abortions, as part of the government’s one-child policy, have long been used to contain the country’s population since the 1980’s. It is more common to see an ad for “painless abortions” than for condoms in China.

The Holy Father talks frequently about spiritual struggle, as a devoted follower of St Ignatius Loyola would do. He has clearly condemned abortion on many occasions, and he has said that the “door is closed” to the ordination of women to the priesthood. At the same time in many other denominations the woman is still a second citizens and seems to be there only to reproduce. But as Pope Francis I has so deftly demonstrated, respect for life does not fit neatly into left or right, liberal or conservative. Undocumented workers’ lives are worth respect. Unborn life is worth respect. Muslim refugees’ lives are worth respect. The handicapped, the elderly, the patient with cancer or a brain tumour – their lives are worth respect. Criminals in prison – even on death row- their lives are worth respect. The Catholic Church, according the Pope, has always faithfully taught that every life is precious.

The Bible for sure has taught that and still demands human beings to have respect for every living soul. This respect is for all living beings (plants, animals, people) and that is so often forgotten by those who want to throw stones to people who have chosen to end the life of a foetus. What we also see and hear is that of those protesting against abortion there are many who are against the abolition of weapons and against the abolition of the death penalty. Suddenly there it does not seem to be wrong to take life of some other living being (be it a man, a woman, an animal, but also even not a child) Is that not a hypocritic attitude of many Americans?

We all better should listen to those people who had the experience, for whatever reason, to be put in front of the decision-making.

It is wrong to think mishaps only happen to certain people or even only to yourself. No one is excluded from certain unpleasant happenings in life. Therefore we should be well aware that others can have had certain experiences we never would like to have but which we also not would like to have others, or when there are people who had to undergo certain experiences that they find ways out of it and can find ways to come back on the right track of a better life.

The witnessing on Jezabel and Catt therefore is important and may not be ignored.
We all must be aware that every day somewhere in the world living souls are confronted with
“The good, the bad, and the ugly. ” and perhaps then it is better to have “No censorship, no bullshit, no knights in shining armour.”

Lets face reality and help each other to bear it.

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Preceding: Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

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Additional reading

  1. A philosophical error which rejects the body as part of the human person
  2. From Despair to Victory
  3. I can’t believe that … (4) God’s word would be so violent
  4. 2014 Human Rights
  5. American Senate ignoring many voices and tears of their own people
  6. Roman Catholic Church in the United States of America at war
  7. Caricaturing and disapproving sceptics, religious critics and figured out ethics
  8. About lions and babies
  9. Westboro Baptist Church and Catholic Truth against Nelson Mandela
  10. Always a choice

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Further reading:

Jezabel & Catt

I want to talk about abortion. I want to talk about my abortion.

I don’t want this blog to turn into a pro choice versus anti abortion discussion. I merely want to share my experience about a very personal and difficult time in my life.  Everyone has their own opinions and everyone will have some form of judgement when they read this. The fact is, that is your opinion and your judgement. Not mine.

So, here goes. When I was 21 I fell pregnant. It was an accident, I didn’t plan it and I was scared. I was at university, I had just met this man and I was petrified. I was scared not just for the 21 year old girl with stars in her eyes, I was also scared about how I would be treated when I admitted to myself I didn’t want a baby.

As a woman in…

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