It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Posttraumatic stress disorder does not have to be a lifelong disorder. Being exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as sexual assault, warfare, serious injury, or threats of imminent death may result in feelings of intense fear, horror, and powerlessness and for sure can make it that we carry the memories of it and the anxiety with it all our life with us. But it has not to derange us for all our lifetime. The bad experiences which we encountered we can use also for the good, conquering the problems it gave us and helping others with the bad experience we had.

In case we allow the bad experience get deep into us and let it make us depressed, we allow it to conquer us. We should try to make ourselves stronger than the experience, how bad it might be, and stand up against it, showing our teeth or or ‘balls’.

Jehovah God also provided a solution for all the evil in this world and brought salvation for our pains and worries. By the death of His son we are saved. When we accept the sacrificial offer of Jesus Christ, the son of God, we can find solace, but we must know that shall not take away the temptations, the tribulations, the pains, a.o. we shall have to endure whilst in this time system.

It is in God and in His son we must put our hope and look forward to the return of Christ and the coming Kingdom of God.

In the meantime we can trust the Most High He will protect us and never let things test us more than we can bear. But when we are victim of bad events we should let us get down and let evil win. The adversary of God, (Satan) which can be any or every person, shall be able to feel our doubt and try us out. We should stand strong.

It is impossible to be strong every day, or to feel at ease or to be happy all the time. We have to face our ups and downs and be aware we have more strength in us than we ever would think. It is there deep in us, but we ourselves have to dig after it.

And yes at moments we do have to give ourself a break, but having self compassion shall never help. Self-pity is the thing we can miss most. Though it does not mean we can not have days that we just find it okay to lie down, pull the blanket up over our head and say nope…..”I can’t do this right now.” But know that there is tomorrow again a day and than it would be possible perhaps. Just get up and try to do it. You can!

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Please do read: Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

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Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Woke up at around 4am’ish, from a nightmare. A nightmare about severe abuse no-one should ever even know about, let alone endure, feel such pain and suffering.

To re-experience this kind of abuse, always seems so deeply cruel. Wasn’t it enough that I had to suffer at that time, do I have to keep enduring it over and over? Seems like I do. Because I am.

It feels like I am being punished, ‘getting what I deserve’, as I was told in the past. Repeatedly.

I do try really hard to be as positive as I can, but days like today are so hard. Already tired, waking up with major anxiety from the nightmare, is not the best way to start your day.

On days like today, I wonder if I will ever be free of PTSD? Free of nightmares? Free of re-experiencing severe sexual abuse, I never deserved and…

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