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Friendship often ends in love,
but love in friendship, never.
~ Charles Caleb Colton
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Friendship often ends in love,
but love in friendship, never.
~ Charles Caleb Colton
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Friendship increases happiness and reduces misery, by doubling our joys, and sharing our sorrows.
~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
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Don’t be quick to make friends,
but once a friendship is made, always stay true to it.
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Getting on well with friends
is important
as they are rare birds.
~ Marcus Ampe
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Friends are those rare people
who ask how you are doing
and then wait for your answer.
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One has a lot of friends these days, so to speak,
yet these are mostly just virtual friends. These are not even pals or comrades yet
and far from being real friends most of the time.
~ Marcus Ampe
Foto door Marcelo Chagas op Pexels.com
Walking down the street or in shops, one encounters many young people who have earphones on or wear earbuds and seem to be far from the world. On the street, it is noticeable because their attention is more on what is entering their heads through the speakers than what is happening around them.
There has been much talk of late about how the streetscape of our towns and cities, not to mention our workplaces, have drastically changed since lockdown. But the biggest change, despite footfall finally starting to rise and working from home slowly tailing off, is the silence.
It is not that we have suddenly become a more reserved country, or even that we have been struck dumb by the slew of problems that are confronting the nation and the world right now. No, it is the ubiquity of a generation of digital natives listening to devices in their ears that put them at one step removed for everyone else around them.
Foto door Marcelo Chagas op Pexels.com
One could say that, as it were, the young have decided not to be too confronted with the real world. Even down to the restrooms or canteen(s) in companies, one finds a large proportion of workers glued to their smartphones, either following up with their digital friends or playing games but making no effort to make friends at work or in real life.
At the beginning of the smartphone, it was mainly the very young, but during the Corona period, many older people joined the younger generation.
Whether it be on public transport, in a shopping centre or in the middle of a bank of desks in the office, a sizeable slice of the 25 to 40-year-old working population is, thanks to their headphones, with us but not with us: no chatter in the sandwich queue; no rows over pushing in; not even a flicker of recognition and a meeting of eyes. For those like me whose heads are unadorned by any tech, it can feel like walking on to the set of some dystopian sci-fi drama.
Strangely enough, many of those youngsters are not aware of their asocial behaviour. Those millennials looking for flexible working opportunities in such cases do not see all the time the same faces, so they could have contact with different people all the time. Hot-desking and shared spaces with work benches, touchdown points or social hubs, where staff can work in a group or on their own in a more informal setting, are more attractive to millennials and generation X than old-fashioned rows of desks with fixed computers and telephones.
For those businesses that prefer to stick with a more traditional office layout, flexibility comes outside the building, by allowing staff to work from home or remotely. Such remote work gives even less opportunity to socialise with work colleagues. However, it should not be forgotten that social interaction is a very important element in being human and in providing well-being for the individual. Social interaction is something that gets pushed aside completely by those earbuds, earphones or headphones.
You may say a big start to that evolution was given by Apple’s chief executive officer, Steve Jobs, who recognised potential in the nascent personal media player market and commissioned Apple engineer Jon Rubinstein to create a product in keeping with Apple’s minimalist, user-friendly style. Small white earbud headphones became an iconic trademark of the product in Apple’s pervasive and award-winning advertising campaigns.
Those youngsters are not interested in older phones the workplaces offers. Millennials will expect to use high-quality, reliable and covetable products at work to match their home devices and choose to bring in their own favoured, newer and higher performing smartphones and laptops to use at work. Top-notch Wi-Fi is also a must for millennials, who will expect high-speed connectivity anywhere they choose to work, whether that’s at a set workstation, from a hot desk, outside in the grounds or in a meeting room.
With a very high connection speed, the younger generation hopes to be in touch with ‘them’ and what interests them directly all the time. Time does not play much of a role here, which is why we see several young people walking down the street while all the time we hear them talking on the air to someone unseen.
Alison DaSilva, executive vice-president of CSR Research & Insights at Cone says about the Millenials
“Millennials view social media as a place to curate and share content that reflects their values – and this generation is enthusiastic about showing how their work is making an impact in the world,”
Foto door Jess Bailey Designs op Pexels.com
Danger lurks – from the millennials cycling or e-scooting along with the headphones on, eyes open but minds firmly in another reality; or for the pedestrians halfway through a conversation relayed through pods or headphones and prone to stepping into the traffic at any moment because they are blanking out those finetuned skills an older generation has developed to listen out for traffic approaching from your blindside.
Looking at these young people, it seems as if we may assume that they have chosen to dwell in their own chosen lifestyle. Cristina Odone, head of the family policy unit at the Centre for Social Justice confirms
“When millennials spend so much time with these big headphones over their ears, it sends out a clear message that they are choosing to be in a world of their own.”
And that, she adds,
excludes everyone else, including their own families.
It is predicted that by 2027 half of the UK will own headphones, with current trends seeing half of that ownership concentrated in the 25 to 45-year-old age groups and just 12 per cent in the 55-plus demographic.
None of the users seem to think about the dangers of neither distraction nor hearing damage. The NHS offers official advice that such headphones used too much or with too much volume have the potential to damage hearing.
We each are born with around 15,000 auditory hair cells in each of our ears that are all we will have for the rest of our lifetime to transmit sound to our brains. And they don’t like being blasted out by headphones any more than they do being assaulted by massive banks of speakers at pop festivals.
If you follow NHS guidelines, you will wear your headphones for no more than an hour at a time, followed by at least a five-minute interval before putting them back on again. Yet with current research showing that the younger group of users in their late teens and 20s often have them on for up to seven hours a day.
Foto door Ju00c9SHOOTS op Pexels.com
Most important, though, the experts say, is selecting the right volume. It should not be above 60 per cent. Some models, aimed at cautious parents of younger children, have a built-in volume lock switch.
But we are convinced that a very different danger is also totally overlooked, namely the element of socialising. It is not just the physical damage to ears that should be worrying us.
It’s the less obvious cost of the social and human obstacles they are creating,
says Julia Samuel, psychotherapist, bestselling author and presenter of the Therapy Works podcast.
Headphones, she believes, have the potential to damage the emotional growth of those whose daily ritual as they leave the house is to put them on precisely at the moment when they could be engaging with the world.
“They are placing a barrier in the whole interactive and interweaving between mind and body,”
she says,
“because they limit the amount of input wearers are getting from outside.”
They can cause, she worries,
“a deficit of connection with those around you and leave you a little emptier and a little chillier”.
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Please find to read:
How millennials in the workplace are shaping today’s businesses
Filed under Health affairs, Lifestyle, Social affairs, Welfare matters
In times of war, there exist the danger, people getting frustrated and angry, wanting to do the wrong things against others.
In wartime, the greatest need is for friends.
Here one should not forget Who is always ready to be the Greatest Friend and the Saviour in high need. In times of fear and suffering, the Elohim Hashem Jehovah, the Most High and Only True God, is there to guide us through those dark times. Best we give Him our hand and let Him lead us through this darkness to light full of hope.
With everything that’s going on in our world the idea of living in peace might seem impossible. But what is impossible for man is possible with God.
2 Corinthians 13:11 says: “Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.”
Restoration. I don’t think I’ve noticed that particular word before. Restoration means bringing back to a former position or condition. Rebuilding, reconstructing, renewing or recovering. What would restoration look like in your life? Forgiving a betrayal so that a friendship can begin again? Studying every night for an hour instead of scrolling social media to raise your grades? Sitting down with a counsellor to discuss a hurt that is preventing you from moving forward?
Only you know the answer to that question but restoration is possible and the end…
View original post 26 more words
Today’s guestwriter is working on overcoming the mental disorder where people feel the need to check things repeatedly, perform certain routines repeatedly (called “rituals”), or have certain thoughts repeatedly (called “obsessions”), Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) disorder (also called obsessive–compulsive neurosis) by all means possible.
She decided to learn new ways to deal with her OCD and it has brought great satisfaction to her finding out through this trial the comfort and satisfaction it gives her to express herself in writing to reach out to others and let them know… they are Not Alone.*
To remember
Writing has proven to be therapeutic > not liking to take NO for an answer => keeps trying
much work to do in educating people about OCD and what is really is
> rising through the humiliation is a large dose of humility {The Big 3 (OCD, Anxiety, Panic) Bully}
Find also: Answers, Help, and a Sense of Belonging
It has been so great to learn how much I enjoy writing! It is great to get some stuff out of my mind and on to the page. But as with everything my OCD and perfectionism has to come along for the ride. So I am stuck inside my mind trying to decide what to blog about. I have so many things I want to say and share, yet the question I continually have is Where to Begin and What to say Next about OCD.
I just came back from the OCD conference in Chicago. It was fantastic! Any my mind is telling me that I shouldn’t write about anything else until I have properly written about the conference and shared all the wonderful information that I received. However, while I want to share all of the information…it just isn’t what I feel like sharing now. While my OCD tells…
View original post 550 more words
A true friend is not like the rain
which pours and goes away.
A true friend is like the air,
sometimes silent but always around you.
Photo & text credit: “Precious World” https://www.facebook.com/ourpreciousworld/?fref=photo
even, dense and old stand of beech trees (Fagus sylvatica) prepared to be regenerated (watch the young trees underneath the old ones) in the Brussels part of the Sonian Forest (Forêt de Soignes – Zoniënwoud) in Belgium (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
For years already, I claim we should treat plants and animals as subjects but also as living beings created by the Divine Creator, who has given them for our use but not mis-use or maltreatment. I always claimed they too have feelings and ways of communicating. In the 1970ies I followed many scientists who tried to proof and did proof how plants also have feelings and communicate with each other.
Though at regular times people seem to be reminded of it. Because too often man forgets that he is not alone having feelings and able to communicate with others of their own sort properly.
It is long known to biologists that trees in the forest are social beings. They can count, learn and remember; nurse sick neighbours; warn each other of danger by sending electrical signals across a fungal network known as the “Wood Wide Web”; and, for reasons unknown, keep the ancient stumps of long-felled companions alive for centuries by feeding them a sugar solution through their roots.
The German Peter Wohlleben studied forestry and spent over twenty years as a civil servant in the forestry commission. For him trees are his life and for that reason he also gave up his job by the state forestry because he wanted to put his ideas of ecology into practice. He now runs an environmentally friendly municipal piece of woodland in the village of Huemmel, holds lectures and seminars and has written books on subjects pertaining to woodlands and nature protection so those interested can accompany him through the forests of his homeland and the whole world.
The deep dark forest One of the tracks through Pantmaenog Forest. There are prehistoric tumuli marked on the map here but they are difficult to find among the dense conifers. The trees here were planted after Bellstone quarry closed in 1908 and some of the old quarry workings are also concealed by the forest: human beings making their mark on the landscape in a variety of ways. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Since it first topped best-seller lists last year, Mr. Wohlleben has been spending more time on the media trail and less on the forest variety, making the case for a popular reimagination of trees, which, he says, contemporary society tends to look at as “organic robots” designed to produce oxygen and wood.
Young musicians living in a shared community in Amsterdam.
Though when I look at how enthusiast we where in the 1960–70ies and had so many dreams, being called ‘flower power‘ people, many not understanding our idea of sharing and love and making a collective community, kibbutz or commune, many of them have gone far away from their idealism and the last few months we see many things we fought for, being undone in a very short time.
Intrigued, Mr. Wohlleben began investigating alternate approaches to forestry. Visiting a handful of private forests in Switzerland and Germany, he was impressed.
“They had really thick, old trees,”
he said.
“They treated their forest much more lovingly, and the wood they produced was more valuable. In one forest, they said, when they wanted to buy a car, they cut two trees. For us, at the time, two trees would buy you a pizza.”
But where are all those very thick trees gone, I wonder. In Belgium some years ago you could find also many places where you could enjoy the view of masterly or kingly majestic trees. The last two years , in the region where I live now (Leefdaal, Flemish Brabant), we have seen hundreds of trees being cut and not replaced.
Deep in the forest something stirred Go Ape, a series of aerial walkways, swings and zip slides in the forestry land north of Aberfoyle. Note – human beings included for a sense of scale. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Mr Wohlleben had also difficulties with the ministry of forestry but it turned out that Mr. Wohlleben had won over the forest’s municipal owners. 10 years ago, the municipality took a chance. It ended its contract with the state forestry administration, and hired Mr. Wohlleben directly. He brought in horses, eliminated insecticides and began experimenting with letting the woods grow wilder. Within two years, the forest went from loss to profit, in part by eliminating expensive machinery and chemicals.
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Filed under Ecological affairs, History, Lifestyle, Nature, Welfare matters, World affairs
In the early 1860s, Gregor Mendel developed the concept of the gene to help explain results obtained while crossbreeding strains of garden peas. He identified physical characteristics (phenotypes), such as plant height and seed color, that could be passed on, unchanged, from one generation to the next. The hereditary factor that predicted the phenotype was termed a “gene.” Mendel hypothesized that genes were inherited in pairs, one from the male and one from the female parent. Plants that bred true (homozygotes) had inherited identical genes from their parents, whereas plants that did not breed true (hybrids, or heterozygotes) inherited alternative copies of the genes (alleles) from one parent that were similar, but not identical, to those from the other parent. {Encyclopedia, topic Genes} When you know that we have about 140,000 genes which instruct the body’s cells to put amino acids in the right sequence in order to build proteins, you might wonder how this all was provided in the first instance.
Mørketid or Polar night at the South Pole, Antarctica.
One type of light therapy lamp for classic (winter-based) seasonal affective disorder
After the “Majestic darkness”, the “Mörketid,” or the time when the sun does not rise at all in northern Norway the Northern Europeans may see light coming up the horizon. For two months, only a gray-red twilight glow was visible for a few hours at noontime. Having 21.2 percent of Norwegians living beyond the polar circle suffering from Winter depression they now may come back to life. Some looked for their therapeutic ‘sunlights’. The fresh light shall have the melatonin, a hormone produced in the brain, to increase again. They do know that an increasing number of tourists, however, are enticed to the polar circle by the flickering aurora, the glistening of the snow in the moonlight, and the cozy light of scattered villages. Also for them it are wonders of nature.
In Winter the social activities could have helped to keep people enjoying life. According to a Harvard University study, elderly people who participate in social activities, such as going to church, restaurants, sports events, and movies, live an average of two and a half years longer than less social people. It has long been assumed that it was the physical part of such activities that helped people, said Harvard’s Thomas Glass, who led the study. However, he added that this study provides
“perhaps the strongest circumstantial evidence we’ve had to date that having a meaningful purpose at the end of life lengthens life.”
Glass noted that doing more, regardless of the activity, extended life in almost every case.
With warmer weather awaited and the days becoming longer we should look forward to more outdoor activities which shall give us more fresh and hopefully better air. Though we do have to think seriously about preserving that fresh air and doing much more against the pollution.
TV watching may come in second to relax, after listening to music (according to a study of 2000), people should find more leisure in going to do outdoors leisure activities and socialising more. In this system of things throughout Europe more and more people are feeling pressed for time, reported in 1999 the German newspaper Gießener Allgemeine. The same is true whether people are working outside the home, doing housework, or enjoying leisure time.
“People sleep less, eat faster, and feel more rushed on the job than 40 years ago,”
says sociologist Manfred Garhammer, of Bamberg University.Part of that sleeping less is brought on by watching more television which is recently pushed more in the background by the youngsters who are spending lots of times on social media. Though they seem to accumulate lots of friends on them, they seem to be more lonely and prone depression than some years ago. We also hear of many more borderline personality disorders and eating disorders and broken families which do not help to have some good relations or making people happy.
The second decade of this century daily life continued to accelerate in all the European nations. You would think labour saving household devices and a reduction in hours at work would have brought about any “leisure society” or “time prosperity.” Instead, on average, time for meals has been reduced by 20 minutes and for a night’s rest by 40 minutes and people take less time to look at the beauties around them. The magic of nature, plants growing, animals going around, all seems to pass their eyes unnoticed.
In case they would give it more attention they not only would enjoy life much more but they also would come to see that all that vibrant exuberant activity is marvellously orchestrated and that there is a Master Brain behind it.
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Preceding:
Spring-migration is on at the Holler
How to make sustainable, green habits second nature
Savouring pictorial entertainement
Engagement in an actual two-way conversation with your deities
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Lots of people look for social media to feel at ease and like to be carried away by the mobile phone, television or cinema screen. On the many screens were many eyes are glued on these days everything is done to get people away from the Divine Creator. With smashing sparkling flashing lights on those screens not the light comes in the hearts but those lights blind the many searchers and many are placed in the dark catacombs of the present world.
Instead of uniting with the many social media friends, people get even more isolated and lonely, forgetting also the most important relationship they should work at. That Higher Friend even get not in the mind of most human beings.
Instead of gaining power those caught up by social media and those falling in the trap of the growing number of atheists get more reasons (they think) to be afraid and start fearing people who seem to be different than them, though often they are not so different as they are thought of to be. The clam of the world brings the darkness of the torture rooms of the dark ages. History keeps repeating.
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To remember:
- some humans want to keep other humans in darkness
- cutting off from awareness of our full potential, cutting us off from true connection with our Creator
- creating reasons for us to feel separate from our fellows
- feeding idea of winners + losers > right + wrong.
- feed fear => cannot come together to create a real evolution of consciousness
- more easily controlled when feeling afraid, isolated
- Everyday on television, internet + radio news = fed lies to distract us +> dish out fear
- truth = all are one, connected by a single consciousness => when we harm another we actually harm ourselves + when we judge another we are judging ourselves => plug into our divine creator and perform miracles on planet
- => Open your eyes and rise above the illusion.
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Preceding articles:
- Putting your feelings into words and sharing them
- Lonely in the crowd
- Less… is still enough
- Less for more
- The Art of Doing Less – Your Time is Finite
- How to Find the Meaning of Life and Reach a State of Peace
- Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression
- Thought of the day: We want more, i want more, but why is that?
- Of old and new ideas to sustain power and to feel good by loving to be connected and worship something
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Additional reading:
- Walking alone?
- What Are You Seeking?
- What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?
- Engagement in an actual two-way conversation with your deities
- Be realistic, do not pretend
- Disscusion Questions
- Gender connections
- Companionship
- Subcutaneous power for humanity 5 Loneliness, Virtual and real friends
- Dealing with worries in our lives
- Migrants to the West #7 Religions
- Subcutaneous power for humanity 1 1940-1960 Influenced by horrors of the century
- Subcutaneous power for humanity 3 Facing changing attitudes
- Subcutaneous power for humanity 5 Loneliness, Virtual and real friends
- Journal for and from bothered citizens
- Faith because of the questions
- Religion, fundamentalism and murder
- Let us not forget it was God who chose us
- 2013 insecurity
- 2014 Social contacts
- Americans wrongly informed about situation in Europe
- A little ray of sunshine.
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Related articles
There are some humans that want to keep other humans in the darkness, cutting us off from the awareness of our full potential, cutting us off from true connection with our creator.
Make no mistake, they benefit from creating reasons for us to feel separate from our fellows, feeding the idea of winners and losers, that there are those who are right and those who are wrong.
They feed us with reasons we should fear each other, different races, religions, countries, so that we cannot come together to create a real evolution of consciousness.
We are more easily controlled when we feel afraid, isolated, separate from one another and alone.
Everyday on the television, internet and radio news we are fed lies to distract us and they dish out fear, fear and more fear.
If we all knew the truth, that we truly all are one, connected by a single…
View original post 40 more words
Today we can find lots of people who are not at all interested in The God sole Creator of Heaven and Earth or in gods, though often they create themselves many gods and worship lots of idols, mainly from the little screen which has become a huge screen in these days (some have measures like the cinema screen of our childhood).
Driver in a Mitsubishi Galant using a hand held mobile phone violating New York State law. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
A 32 year old single girl who lives alone with three cats, in the process of trying online dating pagan, and likes to think about ‘big’ questions occasionally, currently trying to learn to read the tarot, writes:
Everywhere you turn within Pagan circles these days it seems like you are surrounded by people who have a direct connection to their Gods. They seem to be in possession of their very own ‘Godphone’ (to steal a term I have seen floating about) and are God-bothered on a seemingly constant basis. {G is for Gods}
She is not talking about that strong ‘godly communication‘ we talked about in our previous article. Though the mobile phone may be the new god of many, and lots of them do hope to find with that electronic tool with many gadgets or applications to find the real god app of their life.
Lots of the youngsters put all their aspirations in that mobile phone or their i-pad and are willing to cue all night just to have the latest i-phone or Apple McIntosh gadget. Several i.t.-meetings have taken the place of the old Eucharist celebrations and today we do find high-masses especially for electronic wizards.
After some time many get the feeling they are standing in a becoming colder breeze or getting a ice cold shower, putting them in the Hitchcock thriller were the blood runs in the gutter, taking all their so called (Facebook) friends with it. They do not start wondering if their godphone collection has gone wrong but think they must be at fault.
For sure they must be doing something wrong. The Gods must be ignoring them for a reason,
or you are just not open enough, or maybe you’re on the wrong path. This is obviously the experience of ‘real’ pagans, so maybe you just aren’t pagan enough. {G is for Gods}
Perhaps there lies the fact: “being not pagan enough”. So this could perhaps give some hope for the many people who felt disillusioned after their internet experience. Perhaps this will give them enough reason to look for other and better values than those that internet can offer them.
The pagan lady writes she is not in possession of a Godphone,
I am not God-bothered, and I can’t think of a single time when I engaged in an actual two-way conversation with my deities. Sure I get a feeling about things sometimes, I know they appreciate the incense I offer her for example, but it exactly that… a feeling. This doesn’t mean I am not pagan enough and it is actually a perfectly normal experience for a large number of Pagans.
Those pagans we would offer a better solution. If their gods are not such listening gods and not so much answering gods, why would they not try to come to find the real Supreme God of gods? Why going second hand when each of us has the opportunity to go first hand 5-star quality?
Many of those not satisfied with what their mobile can bring, are looking for something more sacred or divine. Divination is something they are interested in.
I have spent some time looking at different types and trying to find one that works for me. I’ve tried runes, the pendulum, crystal gazing and even tea leaf reading but I am always drawn back to the Tarot. I am beginning to think it must be for the artwork, as I seem to have little to no skill in reading them! {D is for Divination}
Often we notice people are going to look for it so far away, when it is easy to grab for in front of their nose.
I have had all sorts of advice about reading cards, not just Tarot but oracle as well, but they tend to come back to either ‘learn by rote’ or ‘trust your intuition’. Having tried both, and continuing to flip between the two, I can see that I have problems with both. {D is for Divination}
We would say, it is not in those cards you shall find the right answers. You may find and see lots of symbols in it and find word-games made up by human beings, but when taking up a Book of books, written down in very old times, they would be surprised what it all has to tell, also about things happening today. In that Book of books, short “the Bible” they and we can find the answer on many of our daily questions. With that best-seller we get the best guide and best manual for life we ever can get.
When looking at it and giving it more of your time, you shall come to notice that it has not to be a one way road to seeing letters forming words, words forming phrases and phrases forming ideas. By reading all that old stuff we shall get ideas for our life and find out that it is not only our reading effort but also our taking down information out of the book that shall bring us to a two way system of communication.
When we are prepared to listen we shall find answers and we shall get replies.
Paganists looking at their own pagan books may find that when they have tried reading from intuition they went blank. The 32 year old lady writes:
I don’t trust myself enough to just open up and ‘say what I see’ as it were. I am so worried about getting it wrong that I just can’t allow myself to go with it.
Well, that opening up is something which is necessary for everything, to see the good but also to see the bad. We are all created in the image of God and as such we also have the inner feeling of good and wrong. Since the fall of man, having eaten the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil mankind, like the animals have their instinct, but they also received something more which is that inner feeling which gets deep down to them. Lots of people resist that inner feeling and that inner Voice. But as soon as a person wants to open him- or herself to that inner Voice he or she shall be able to come to hear the Voice of God. The Voice of the real God of gods, Who is a much better option than to go for all those other gods.
Go straight ahead to the Only True God of gods, the Most High Elohim, Hashem Jehovah!
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Preceding article: Of old and new ideas to sustain power and to feel good by loving to be connected and worship something
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Articles of interest:
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Jennifer L Thorpe believes that in order to find true self, we must dig deep into the darkness in order to find the warm, loving light. {Where We Need To Be}
Several people may be lost in the dark and not find themselves any more. It is not that their minds and egos battle with their self, their true being, but because our society has liked to put labels onto them. Many encounter difficulties because they may have friends not liked by others or others seeing more in their relationship than there has to be.
How often our society does want to see men in such roles and women in other roles. Today there is still a gender connection with many professions. But there is also still an idea about how men or women may have an connection with other people, from the same or from the other sex. Still too many people do want to look for other things behind a close relationship. This makes that people can become very lonely and isolated.
Alysta Lim recognises this this concept society has about masculinity, femininity, and gender roles. she compares it to
mass-produced clothes of the same size and style. It does not matter if they do not fit you. One’s own preference is of little consequence. People give us this pair of shoes, tell us to wear it, and like it. In this subject, at least, man and woman truly are equals. {On Gender Roles}
Woman as sex object or to lure man in buying things. – 2004 Chery Fulwin at Shanghai Shi, Shanghai, China. (Flickr set : Autoshow 2004) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Getting all labels on our ‘being’ this also puts pressure on us and makes us sometimes weary or afraid to go deeper in a relationship because it may be misunderstood. The media do not help much either. They present their twisted idea about relationships as normal standard, by which those who have other standards or a different upbringing at home, are confronted with questions which they should not have. The world of film and television is presented as they world we all should live in and should live accordingly. But in that world everything seems to turn around sex and violence.
Everything what seems to be sweet is labelled as old fashioned and not strong or not mature.
Alysta Lim rightly dares to ask:
Why do we have to be certain things? Wouldn’t it be better to be ourselves than to be a ‘man’ or a ‘woman’? {On Gender Roles}
Graham and Megan attempt to reinforce their gender roles through performing traditional female tasks. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
She forgets that by the contemporary society it is not liked to see people who are wanting to be their own. It is considered not wanting to be part of this or their society. It is considered that that person who wants to be his or her own does not want to adapt to society. They consider them weak, but they should know those who want to stay and can stay their own are just the strong ones in society.
Those who do not do foolish actions and do not cry like so many who demonstrate a football madness, (now) when there are world-championships.
Why should men go out working and women stay in the house to do only household work for their own?
who’s to say that men can’t take care of babies and women can’t work? {On Gender Roles}
At moments everybody may do like crazy, cheering for the winning team. But when somebody becomes to enthusiastic about an exhibition or a theatre performance, he or she would be considered as a ‘noob’, a ‘fool’ or an ‘idiot’ and not somebody to talk to or to have much connection with.
People who would like to tackle more serious subjects have become cast out in this world. Lots of young people do chat a lot but it is all about ‘chit–chat’, not serious talk with shortened words or signs, in such a way that a lot of them even can not talk and write reasonably well any more.
Though most of them dream about the ideal figure they want to be at the most high post they can get. They all dream of high positions which will get them richness, lots of things to play with.
Broken drams. The Hard life of women. – Roundhouse wipers having lunch in their rest room, Chicago & North Western Railroad, Clinton, Iowa, April 1943. Jack Delano, photographer Reproduction from color slide LC-USW361-644 LC-DIG-fsac-1a34808, FSA/OWI Collection http://myloc.gov/Exhibitions/boundforglory/ExhibitionItems/ExhibitObjects/WomenWorkersEmployedasWipers.aspx (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Through the years an image is given to all of us, and it seems it is still there hanging in the air. Lots of people still have their picture of the perfect man or woman. By many it has become a chain or like the young Freuddwyn blogwriter notices but would like to see herself it to be something which can be useful
good when used as a handbook, not a prison. We are at heart a man, a woman, a child, and something greater we can’t hope to describe. Why should we strive only for one and disregard the rest, when all of them make us what we are now? {On Gender Roles}
Because of the pressure in schools and at work and still the patriarchal society, women are less self-assured than men. To be able to succeed they need more confidence, because the competence may well be there, but often women have to prove themselves twice more than men.
Katty Kay and Claire Shipman do find that for years women have kept their heads down and played by the rules. Many women believed in fairy tales and were sure that with enough hard work, their natural talents would be recognized and rewarded. They did not count on the many magazines which did everything to present women more as a sex object instead of giving more attention on what women really could manage. all the paparazzi material pushed the serious woman under water and tried the world to believe those who made it in life would be those who enjoy women and show off with all material wealth and all sorts of women they can get. Women were and are presented as a trophy you can use to show off to others and show your success in life.
American ladies may think they have made undeniable progress. In the United States, women now earn more college and graduate degrees than men do. They make up half the workforce, and they are closing the gap in middle management. Half a dozen global studies, conducted by the likes of Goldman Sachs and Columbia University, have found that companies employing women in large numbers outperform their competitors on every measure of profitability.
Our competence has never been more obvious. Those who closely follow society’s shifting values see the world moving in a female direction. {The Confidence Gap; Evidence shows that women are less self-assured than men—and that to succeed, confidence matters as much as competence. Here’s why, and what to do about it.}
Katty Kay and Claire Shipman write, being aware that as they’ve worked, ever diligent, the men around women have continued to get promoted faster and be paid more.
The statistics are well known: at the top, especially, women are nearly absent, and our numbers are barely increasing. Half a century since women first forced open the boardroom doors, our career trajectories still look very different from men’s. {The Confidence Gap}
In writings of some younger blogger we may find a positive change. Up until now, according to us, women did either try to get on the top the wrong way, thinking they had to crush men, and where willing ‘to go over dead bodies’. They kept showing an acute lack of confidence of what they had in themselves to prove themselves to the others.
Bloggers like Jennifer L Thorpe, Cat Lady Its fruitcake weather and the writer of Freuddwyn show with others that they perhaps can look again at the Universe to learn more about themselves {That Pale Blue Dot}, and that they have come to believe that they should not think anyone is better than anyone else, or that anyone is further along or behind.
They may wonder what they are, compared to the greatness of the cosmos in which they have to bring up patience which is limited as with most things. May we believe we in them can come to see a new generation who starts believing that they have all the time in the world to grow, make or break, heal and recover?
All are where they need to be. It’s an individual path at first. Then, it becomes unity. But, each of us develop at our own speed and per our needs. There is not timing or deadline to reach that place we are all going. We all end up there in due time. {Where We Need To Be}
We amount to little more than a speck, but here’s the twist: each of us is a universe in ourselves, and together we make up a world. We make up a home. {That Pale Blue Dot}
It would be nice to come to see again a generation who is willing to accept their limits, not eager to compete with others just to be better, but more willing to go beyond their own limits and trying to grow themselves notwithstanding what other might do or think.
When they start stepping over the gender issue and consider it a priority to know their own limits, being it more important than knowing the enemy’s, that would mean that boundaries would actually help them to grow and become again a generation to bring a turning point.
Alysta Lim, who may bring with her Deviant art some fresh innocent positivist drawings, got to accept that nobody can be perfect!
We shall never be, no matter how hard we try, for the simple reason that we are human. {On Gender Roles}
There are always things we can’t do. So why bother trying if there is no chance of moving forward? Sometimes it is good to know that there are walls, if only to know when to stop and which way to go when it becomes impossible to move forward. After all, life is always a bunch of wrong turns and detours…it is never a straight line. {Our Limit}
Being a man or a woman, both will have to face obstacles, one way or the other. Both shall also find they need other people on their way, to accompany them or to give them a little help or encouragement to continue their way.
Already being aware that nobody can be perfect and that each of us has to try to make it for himself or herself, an intern acceptance of the self can bring more personal growth in the right direction and offer more success. Until now many women, despite all their progress, are still woefully underrepresented at the highest levels. but this seems to going to change. Looking at the attitude of the twenties we may have hopes they will be able to put away the materialism of the previous generations and will start fining more connection to real friends and to nature. Having them becoming aware that all those social media friends are not exactly ‘real friends’ they need in life or will help their life forwards, they will come to understand it is more important to build up right connection in a honest way and by having real friends around them in their own surroundings.
In 2011, half the female respondents to a review about gender position, reported self-doubt about their job performance and careers, compared with fewer than a third of male respondents. We can say that because they were less confident in general in their abilities this led them not to want to pursue future opportunities or wanted them to gain higher positions by getting rid of their male ‘contestants’. In case we can see a new generation, early in the twenties, finding some assurance what they themselves present has its own value, we might find them going into to market for the person they are really,offering honest work, to take or to leave.
With the encouragement they can get from friends and people around them they shall not have to come to think that they are not totally imcompetent in the area, so they would not going to go for it. Today having so many people just standing on their own they do not have to be afraid to fall or to be afraid to end up going into less competitive fields, like human resources or marketing, because they will have found out it is much more important to do what you really want to do, and to enjoy doing what you do. This shall also give again some ‘innocence’ and ‘purity’ in their work, which shall attract the right persons to what they do and to recognise their work.
At the end this would be much more satisfying than those who only have the money-letters in front of their eyes;
Perhaps many may say
“They don’t go for finance, investment banks, or senior-track faculty positions.” {The Confidence Gap}
but their confidence in what they want to do, shall bring them much further in a life, full of happiness, knowing that having a cosy nice home or lovely family is more important than having all the wealth of the world.
When the woman is willing to see herself not as an other or competitive gender to male, or shall not be willing to just live quietly by the still discrimination of gender, she shall be able to come more forwards and be come more recognised for what she is able to achieve, without others thinking there where some loopholes or something was needed for her to get so far.
Looking at certain blogs of young people we may see an advancement seeing some young women who are not willing to conform to this gender discrimination, trying to scramble on ways to please men, to do it the ‘right’ societal female way.
Living in an Asian country the (female) writer of Purity opulence writes
Females should be much more dignified than men, we bear children for the world, we did that, we did this. In the eyes of traditional beliefs, everything that females have done is considered rightfully legitimate and a strong must. This disgusting trend has led to many women trying to throw away their dignity, distinctly or indistinguishably. {Purity opulence: to love is to respect}
The previous ten years we have seen kids making themselves up like they would be adults. Parents let them dress like adults in mini format. Parents also demanded to get them ‘diploma’s for alls sort things’. It became even so ridiculous that some kindergarten schools are already giving a ‘diploma’ (not a certificate) for the toddlers at the end of the school-year. Our society recently has done everything to have people to impress others. And men had to be on the top, doing interesting ‘male’ jobs or they were not worthy for our society. And women trying to get some ‘male jobs’ where considered ‘wrong girls’, of the wrong sex, or ‘strebers’.
Purity of opulence remarks:
When women are neglected or toyed by men, the first thing that comes in mind is regret. But just a step before it, why do you have to do everything to impress men? The point that I’m trying to make here is to convey the message that, even in the modern society, women are regarded as shameless, can-do-everything-for-anything person. You can’t completely blame the guys. It is you, these kind of women, who sell themselves by sticking and seducing guys, trying to be as girly or demure so that there will be some forces of attraction. Please? Dignity? Therefore, there is this vicious cycle that’s really vicious and irreversible. Ancient society (oppression) –> girls conform –> men think girls are easy creatures –> discrimination continues. {Purity opulence: to love is to respect}
It looks at last we have come to see the seed for a new generation, where women are willing to see themselves as women who can do their own thing and have their own value, which should not be less nor more than the value of men.
We may have come to a generation which is well aware that
Gender is how we feel and how we express our selves.
and which is willing to give a voice to their own feeling and not any-more want to pretend.
If my sex is the same as my gender, then people can and will say
“you were born a girl so you must act like one.”
I know this because people who feel that sex and gender are the same do say this. But if sex and gender are different, then people are more accepting of those of us who have a gender that doesn’t match our sex. This is why sex and gender must be seen as separate. {Sex and Gender}
It is nice to find again people who want to be themselves.
The dancer Britany Elizabet writes
The very selfish conclusion that I came to is that I am not willing to sacrifice that much of myself anymore. I have already been there. I did it with dance team, I did it with a relationships. I played an unnatural role that did not fit me. I pretended to be the idle girlfriend who stayed at home, doted hand and foot on her boyfriend (like, literally, spent time cracking his toes and massaging his athlete-foot infested feet), put aside her entire life for him. It didn’t work for me and actually turned out to be quite a disaster/caused me immense anxiety issues. I tried to be the popular girl, who involved herself in trivial affairs, such as reality television and gossip magazines, got her nails done every other week, and shopped on her free time. That was too expensive of an endeavor for a very Dutch person like myself.
So, as my existential crisis rounds out and my Victorian literature class comes to an end, I am comforted by the fact that I am just me. I don’t fit any definite, prescribed gender roles (as someone one told me, “you are kind of like a guy”), and I don’t really care to fit any of those specific gender roles either, because as seen by our characters, it is unnatural, it doesn’t work, and most likely, you will end up in the madhouse. {Gender Roles & Self Sacrifice}
In the light of this:
So women, women and women, you want people to respect you as a woman, but you just keep on doing things that propels people to be more discriminating! We have to love ourselves, love for what we are and not change just for the purpose of trying to please this or that.
Hopefully, in a matter of decades, women can rise to be equal with men. I think, you, have heard of the word, “tigress”. {Purity opulence: to love is to respect}
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What are the behaviors and roles considered appropriate for one’s sex?
If you are a Feminist (even a Liberal Feminist or a Fun Feminist), the answer to this should be “There are no behaviors and roles considered appropriate for my sex because Females can be and do anything.”
There is a lot of nuances in definitions here, but they are not entirely necessary. For example, some include within genderism the belief that there are two genders. But the two genders are an artefact of culture; some culture have three genders or four genders, and really, the exact number is irrelevant: all that matters is that some are seen as superior and some are seen as inferior. Genderism would not magically disappear if we added another gender to the list.
Filed under Being and Feeling, Lifestyle, Social affairs
The world is full of beauty which many people do not see. Many run around hectic going from here to there to earn their living and to earn a lot of worldly treasures. Most of them forget there are things which are much more worth than all the money they would be able to gather in their life.
So many small things may pass by unnoticed. In all the turmoil where do we want to stand and what do we want to do to see and meet the other?
How much do we want to open our arms to those we do not know and those we might know?
Many in this crowded world my feel lonely because they have lost touch with the inner and the outer love.
We should all be thankful for the first gift we received when we were too small to think and to do things on our own. We are here because of the first gift of love. Even in case not, we once born have been fostered and treated out of love.
Oh, so often we miss out on that love. Worse we can feel so lonely, though we see all those people passing by.
Is the loneliness standing in the corner or is it love. Often we are in the other corner because we did not dare enough to take both in our arms and shuffle them as a stack of cards in a life full of expectations of the good instead of being afraid for a world with the bad.
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and I’m lonely
in this house full of people
and I’m so sad
I want to puke
I got down on my knees
I grabbed a stick and poked and…
The grasping bones of a long dead hand
Trying to escape from a prison
Someone created for poor Ms. Claire
Unnoticed and forgotten
Years ago
I’ve embarked on a journey
One to set me free
Free from bondage in life’s array of obstacles
I’ve chosen to face my failures
Take responsibility for my choices
Vanquish my fears
Those thoughts that I have only sometimes
Because I don’t let them stay all the time
I guess because I don’t like them as much as they like me
It’s a loneliness
Release my chains and let me see
The glory of your majesty
Hear my cry lord, please don’t ignore
Don’t cast me aside, for I am yours
Filed under Being and Feeling, Poetry - Poems, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs
When I started writing this article there where 7 238 080 161 people on this globe. When I finished writing there where already 7 238 100 805 living human beings, thriving on only 17% of the earth its surface. Find out how many there are now when you reading this, at Worldometers info: world-population. Current UN projections show a continued increase in population in the near future with a steady decline in population growth rate; global population is expected to reach between 8.3 and 10.9 billion by 2050. {“World Population Prospects, the 2012 Revision – “Low variant” and “High variant” values”} {“World population projected to reach 9.6 billion by 2050 – UN report”}
With the millions living around us we are like a very tiny ant or even more like a microbe. But those microbes which we know are often more in symbiosis or unity than those human beings. With six of Earth’s seven continents being permanently inhabited on a large scale, we may find Asia as the most populous continent, with its 4.3 billion inhabitants accounting for 60% of the world population. In our own region many people do think they are already with too many living on the small space which is around them. Though finding themselves living in an overcrowded area, many of those people do feel so lonely. Even when they search on the internet and add so many people on their social media profile, many people feel very lonely. You could not say they are really isolated, but what matters is that there is no real connection with the others in their surroundings.
Many invite people they meet on the internet to join as ‘friends‘ and to ‘register’ on this and that and to ‘vote’ for this and that. Voters can start and join voting blocks for the issues, sites, and groups they care about, and gather massive followings. But hose followings do they bring up something? And do the joiners really feel connected, supported or find they all can work for the same good cause?
Looking at this world
I have 509 friends on Facebook, but I still feel lonely.
he writes in Look Up and See the World Around You at his jukebox of writings by him and by the straight forward and happy go lucky girl of sixteen Navneet Kaur. Saswata Mitra is an eighteen year old (or was) who declared himself to be selfless and caring about everyone. He also feels like everybody else the need to feel that others also would care about him. And that is normal; We all need that feeling. We all need to feel that somebody else cares about us. this feeling or want to be cared and loved does not always get answered. People to get more satisfaction from having the assurance that many like them, got so entangled or chained by social media where they can build up friends like nothing.
On that virtual platform many “friends” are made, but not so many contacts made into silver and even less are converted in silver or redeemed for gold.
I see what they do everyday yet I barely know them. In this Global Neighborhood, we share and post everything we see, hear and experience. We have somehow managed to convince ourselves of the illusion that updating everything we do will get us connected to everyone around us. But hey, life your head from your screens and look around you. You’re alone. {Look Up and See the World Around You}
Having 509 friends on Facebook does not say anything about having real friends or having real communication with others. As such in this world there may be many who have lots of connections on their social media sites, but who still feel very lonely.
The whole virtual worlds sucks many into a world of belief but even more of a world of wishful thinking. On one site there are those who boast with their holiday trips to far away places and with all the gadgets they may retrieve. Lots of chit-chat and backbiting or malicious gossip can be found at those social media platforms.
We may see what they want us to or like us to see. Do they let us see their own self? Give they really something from their own which they want to share to get into a better relationship with the other?
Do those people in their everyday postings on that Global Neighbourhood really share and post everything they see, hear and experience and how much are they involved with it or want to be involved with it?
How many do not live in that illusion that updating everything we do will get us connected to everyone around us? Or is that really the intention of many?
As you say we better come to look for real connections by looking around us in the real world, living our head from our screens, seeing but also willing to become connected with that real world.
Though I think lots of people today prefer to stay connected in their virtual world, playing games and ‘doing as if’. They seem to find more indulgence by enjoying the distraction by the games and chit-chat, instead of going to spend time in having serious discussions or a real serious talk. Lots of youngsters can not read or concentrate on long texts any more. It has to be all telegram style short messages, and by preference not asking too much thought.
God’s Will and Design For Your Life – Inspirational Bible Verses, who is well aware that one of the problems might well be that most people use not their eyes to see further than this world around them personally and do not want to grasp a little bit of what the Plan of the Planner of this universe might be.
We only see mere seconds in part of God’s plan as a whole. As such we cannot grasp what is the blueprint for our life. We all have a definite past, but with God we have an indefinite future that is infinite by His grace, full of hope and wonder. There is unity and harmony in God’s plan for our life and we must embrace it. So, have faith in the Lord and in His providence as all things work together for good for them that love Him and are called according to His purpose. {God’s Will and Design For Your Life – Inspirational Bible Verses}
Being so self focused many of us have you become so tired, worn out, broken down, frustrated, stressed out, hopeless and discouraged that they feel like they can’t even make it through the day and dread facing tomorrow.
We all know that feeling of being pushed in the corner by others, or by awkward situations. Many of us even have the impression it are they who are in the picture for the bad.
Sometimes in life it seems that the only experiences that we are having are all bad ones. There are times that it seems that today is worse than yesterday, and we are in fear of what tomorrow will bring. Life seems to be one disaster after another, and we seem to be going from crisis to crisis. There are times when life drains all the energy from us and we find ourselves wiped out from the stress we are dealing with on a daily basis. {Bible Verses for Hurt, Broken, and Discouraged Lives – God Has a Plan}
All of us seem to grow fearful and anxious as we wait for things to get better. {Bible Verses for Hurt, Broken, and Discouraged Lives – God Has a Plan}
Many think they shall find answers in their virtual world of the internet social media. After work, or many already at work, do not mind forgetting what they really have to do at the workplace or at home, and get into their own little world of virtual friends and games of building farms or villages. They try to forget the real world with its many stressful situations.
We rush through life without stopping to check where we are going, or what we are doing.{Bible Verses for Hurt, Broken, and Discouraged Lives – God Has a Plan}
We should know that we better get into the real world and dare to face all its problems. We for sure can not solve all those problems. We should not worry that we are not able to solve everything. We should just try to do our best and get together with others to help each-other to grow strong in this tempting world.
The Nazarene Jeshua (Jesus Christ) was a Master-teacher, who was totally not concerned about himself. He put himself totally at the side and only wanted to do the will of his heavenly Father. He brought the Words of his Father to many and asked them to spread the same Good News he gave them. Jesus asked them to go out in the world and to look for like minded people who are willing to share the same hope as he gave them.
He warned them they also could feel lonely and hated, because others would not like it they being followers of him, worshipping the Only One God of gods. But he assured them that when they would come to look for each other and join in meetings, they would find the brotherly love he gave them and which could bring us all united in a world where there would be no war or pain any more.
By sharing that love Jesus gave to us, and finding believers who also want to worship that Only One God we shall be able to find those friends who can build us up and together would be willing to build up that community in which Jesus is the cornerstone. There we shall be able to find the real friends, who we shall be willing to call ‘brothers‘ and ‘sisters‘. With them we shall be looking forward to the fulfilment of God’s Plan.
Part of the process of God’s wondrous ability to bless our lives is you and I taking the time to slow down petition the throne of Grace and listen for His voice. As we slow down and wait on Him, we will be reminded of our complete and utter dependence on His strength. When we take the time to stop, pray; slow down and wait on Him – He will bring the resolution to our problems as and reveal His plan for our lives. {Bible Verses for Hurt, Broken, and Discouraged Lives – God Has a Plan}
As disciples of Christ we can come to counting lives and friends dear to us. Today this can happen in a less dangerous manner than in the first century of this era. The message did keep the same and the reason to make friends in Christ has become to be quickened, because time runs out. Day by day we shall be coming closer to the end times and when World War III will be a fact, it would be to late. Today our priority should be to form a loving brotherhood. It is now that the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us by sharing true riches with as many as we can. Knowing that tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair we should be giving out our hand to many around us in love speaking words of kindness. Willing to walk with all kinds of people in love by faith, not by sight, together making church as united people under Christ.
When you are feeling lonely do know you are not alone. Tsundukani Baloyi writes:
The thing about feeling lonely is that it doesn’t matter who you choose to waste your time with whether it may be with friends, a lover or any significant other, you will still feel lonely. You could be in a room filled with people and still not feel as though you are part of the crowd. I don’t know, feeling lonely sucks at times. It drains the living hell out of you and the worst part of it is that you won’t even know why you feeling lonely in the first place. {Lonely}
When you are feeling lonely then, it is perhaps because you do not feel the mediator Jesus close to you, nor his heavenly Father who shall always be there by those who are looking for Him.
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When this article was published there where: 7 238 140 550 people on this earth.
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Filed under Being and Feeling, Religious affairs, World affairs