Tag Archives: Rape victims

“Til It Happens To You” by Lady Gaga

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A portion of proceeds from the sale of the song will be donated to organizations helping survivors of sexual assault.

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Preceding articles:

Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

Not an easy decision to make

Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake

How to heal after childhood sexual abuse

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Video, Welfare matters

How to heal after childhood sexual abuse

In the debate about abortion too many people do forget to look closely at what had happened before the person got pregnant and why there could be justifications for acts to be taken.

In certain countries there are very young children who come with child against their wishes and after not just sexual abuse but after sexual violence they have to endure stressful trauma’s which will haunt them for the whole of their life.

The young innocent being lost their innocence and after their traumatic experience they need a listening soul, not condemning them straight away but having comprehension and willing to show sincere help.

After their traumatic experience society has to be very careful not to ‘rape’ them once more.

It is totally wrong to assume that the person must have had some pleasure in the physical touch and therefore must be guilty as well. In certain instances events can take place where there maybe may have been a feeling of love towards the perpetrator who gave them special attention.

Wounds are made and the victim, because that is what she is, can’t go on fighting forever. And with a confrontation with what is growing inside her there may be even a bigger battle going on.

They really needs guts; courage to look inside themselves, feel the emotional pain, willing to look for solutions which shall make it less painful in the future. Lots of emotions have to be released and new strength has to be found. If not, they will not be able to recover and not able to enjoy their lives as much as possible, having normal relationships.

Please, Let us be more understanding of sexual victims.

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To remember

  • healing from childhood sexual abuse = long and tedious process
  • All various emotions = to be felt and released
  • suppressing emotions does not help
  • Eat well, rest + get lots of sleep
  • no miracle cures or quick answers
  • You will need to work through
    feelings of loss and its impact on your life + feelings of betrayal and perhaps a desire to punish those involved for what happened + for not looking after you
    any shame you feel and learn that it is safe to open back up to love, sexuality, passion and joy
  • You will need to learn to trust others and allow yourself to be vulnerable again.
  • Do your best to support yourself with kindness, love and friendship >  Be the loving parent to yourself that you wished your parents were.
  • Love = melt the armour and help the emotions to surface
  • allow to be vulnerable, weak, and to be looked after by others
  • Life is meant to be enjoyed. Just this and other experiences get in the way. Do the work to free yourself from the past, so that you can enjoy the rest of your life and make the most of it. You can do it and it’s worth doing.
  • Go easy with yourself. You don’t need to dig through your past trying to find clues about what did or didn’t happen. it will surface when it is meant to, when you are strong enough and ready to process it.

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Preceding articles:

Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

Not an easy decision to make

Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake

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Find also to read:

Stronger than anything that wants to destroy

 

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Further reading:

  1. Sexual Violence and the Media
  2. Global Sexual Violence: Breaking the Cycle
  3. Sexual Violence – Prevention and Response
  4. Violence Against Women: When Are We Going to Address It, Seriously?
  5. New York magazine to publish week-long survey of college sex
  6. Guns on Campus: Sending the Wrong Message to Men
  7. Is the Office for Civil Rights Taking Over Campus Sexual Assault Discipline Systems Through Resolution Agreements?
  8. International Day of the Girl Child ……AIDS Healthcare Foundation
  9. Why I Fear Going Home On My Own
  10. India shamed by sexual violence
  11. Outrage in India after 2 teens arrested for raping 2-year-old girl
  12. They Claimed It Never Happened: A Woman is Arrested After Reporting Her Rape
  13. Saskatchewan rolls out anti-sexual violence public awareness campaign
  14. pornography’s link to sexual violence
  15. Rape: we are all at risk
  16. Debunking the Mythologies of Rape
  17. The #1 thing I want people to do this week to support ace survivors
  18. A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
  19. Going back to the place where I was raped
  20. ‘On the Pull’
  21. I Was Almost a Police Officer: An Interview with Melodia
  22. way to be careless
  23. sssssssssss
  24. Detroit’s Kym Worthy turns to football rivalry to fund rape kit testing
  25. Abusers Cannot Be The Face of Anti-Violence Campaigning
  26. Welcome, Widen Agents!
  27. SACHA in Bathrooms
  28. To Survivors Of Sexual Violence
  29. False Reporting is Rare
  30. Reclaiming My Self
  31. Women, Peace, and Security: What’s to come?
  32. Detroit women pledge $600k to solve untested rape-kit crisis
  33. Yazidis in the face of rape, enslavement: “We will not die … we will live”
  34. This man saved 40,000 women. Will he win the Nobel Peace Prize?
  35. Indiana University frat suspended due to video of apparent sexual hazing
  36. From “Slutwalk” to March: Philadelphia Brings Rape Culture Awareness
  37. We Don’t Allow Sexual Violence in Real Life, So Why Do We Allow it in Video Games?
  38. A Call to ASUPS to Prioritize Sexual Violence Prevention
  39. Judge deals Bill Cosby a major legal blow
  40. Marriage is not a license to rape
  41. Responses to Sexual Violence Within the British Criminal Justice System Pt 2: Problematic Views
  42. Trauma, the Brain, and Why the Positive Impact We Can Have on Kids Is so Important!
  43. Women of #nzpol Twitter: on the incarceration of trans women in male prisons
  44. Discover Haiti | Story about the Struggles of Haitian Women
  45. #NotAskingForIt – a review of Louise O’Neills ‘Asking for It’
  46. My Scratching Shows My Pain

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Dr. Jodi-Anne M Smith

light of godThis is a gigantic topic that can not be addressed in one blog. We will give some general guidance and cover other aspects in future blogs. Childhood sexual abuse is a heinous act that takes away a child’s sense of innocence and trust in the world. Whether the act was done in a violent or loving manner it rips apart a child’s identity. They are no longer a child living in a world of mystery, awe and learning. They no longer can lose themselves in the moment, they lose spontaneity and joy for life. In its place come watching, scanning for danger, for fear of it happening again. Confusion terrifies – is it good, bad, dirty, evil? Am I a bad person because of it? Why is it a secret? Why mustn’t others know? All of this takes a child out of a child’s mindset and experience of life. It…

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Health affairs, Juridical matters, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Social affairs, Welfare matters

Stop Burning Rape Survivors at the Stake

Often when an awful trauma comes over a young female person, when the ‘person’ is taken away from her, she does not only feel a prey but becomes also the hunted by society who points with a damning finger when she wants to make an end to that what the intruder placed in her body.

In certain countries, like India and in Africa, sexually assaulted girls become cast out by their beloved ones and by the community. They have to carry the wounds of the awful event with them for their all life.

Those who say they can not stop the childbearing have to wonder themselves what they would do in such a situation and should better listen to some people who experienced the trauma of their life.

For all the anti-abortion groups and people who condemn those girls who decided to undergo an abortion it is best to listen also to the voices of those victims.
Witnessing for this reason is very important. If there can be no empathy on the part of the anti-abortionist leagues communication and understanding on both parts will stay difficult.

For sure too often the victim is blamed for what went wrong and often the rapist can go without punishments and even gets some encouragement from others.

What rape victims need is a comprehending ear and people who can understand why and how they feel and why they want to take certain decisions.

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To remember:

  • eviscerated rape survivors > over how they deal with their rapes
  • consent activists come down on a survivor for saying her rape was less traumatic than most
  • incredible pressure on victims to ‘tell the police or shut the fuck up.’

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  • Rape is not drama (overreaction) + play for attention, a performance < This is a total wrong attitude and wrong thinking; Those rape victims are not at all wanting to get more attention. Many of them would prefer to go in a little corner and often feel a nobody
  • When telling a survivor that they’re attention-seeking =  you’re saying =  “Rape is not so bad. Shut the fuck up and get over it.”
  • impossible to overreact to rape = can’t think of a damn thing in this life that is harder to cope with
  • Dealing with rape = one of the most gut-wrenching, confusing things this life has to throw at a person
  • responses not always going to look elegant, selfless, and wise => no perfect response to rape
  • rape survivor responding normally to an abnormal situation
  • Judging rape survivor’s responding =  like judging a tree for moving when the wind blows = requiring someone who is going through hell to fulfil your expectations as a casual observer
  • needs + expectations rape victim = about them
  • victims not psychologically well enough to get through a case
  • sometimes there is no evidence = spent months, or often years, agonising over their options in terms of a case

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Preceding articles:

Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

My Choice (by Jezabel Jonson)

The Real ‘Choice’

“They Told Me What I Wanted To Hear” – Real Abortion Stories

The Things We Carry, by Penny

Hillary Clinton Says Religious Beliefs About Abortion Have to be Changed

Freedom and amendments, firearms and abortions

If the baby is part of the woman’s body…

Not an easy decision to make

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Find also to read:

  1. Subcutaneous power for humanity 2 1950-2010 Post war generations
  2. Stronger than anything that wants to destroy

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Further reading:

  1. Society is the problem and the disease… forcing sexual abuse & child sexual abuse survivors, to suffer more.
  2. No, I don’t want paedophiles, rapists, sex offenders etc, to be beaten up, abused back.
  3. It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.
  4. Numbing…..helps me cope, with the severity of all the heinous abuse, I have endured.
  5. Too many people, have touched my soul, with their dirty hands.
  6. Ignore the troll on my facebook page – Nefertari/Abortion page admin/LisaMarie
  7. Using Charlotte Dawson’s abortion ‘only’, by Fred Nile for his own agenda, is digusting.
  8. I knew some Christians would ‘need’ to talk about abortion, in relation to Charlotte Dawson’s death.
  9. Where do Abused Children turn for Help?
  10. You can Not Stop Abuse…(Or how I slid off the Bell-Shaped Curve of Sane decisions)
  11. This is Your Brain…This is Your Brain on Abuse
  12. Why Abuse Victims often feel they are Swimming Upstream
  13. Ultimate Recovery from Abuse
  14. A child, who is abused, is a child no more

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Health affairs, Juridical matters, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Social affairs, Welfare matters