Tag Archives: Family

100 Direct Instructions!

Colors of my life

100 direct instructions by Allah in the Quran for mankind with references:
1. Do not be rude in speech (3:159)

2. Restrain Anger (3:134)

3. Be good to others (4:36)

4. Do not be arrogant (7:13)

5. Forgive others for their mistakes (7:199)

6. Speak to people mildly (20:44)

7. Lower your voice (31:19)

8. Do not ridicule others (49:11)

9. Be dutiful to parents(17:23)

10. Do not say a word of disrespect to parents (17:23)

11. Do not enter parents’ private room without asking permission (24:58)

12. Write down the debt (2:282)

13. Do not follow anyone blindly (2:170)

14. Grant more time to repay if the debtor is in hard time (2:280)

15. Don’t consume interest (2:275)

16. Do not engage in bribery (2:188)

17. Do not break the promise (2:177)

18. Keep the trust (2:283)

19. Do not mix the truth with falsehood (2:42)

20. Judge with…

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Filed under Lifestyle, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Religious affairs, Welfare matters

Detachment by Family problems

In the previous article Liza Borstlap writes

I came to believe that the conflict in my family had created itself.

It would be lovely if we all could grow up in very close lovely families which can give us everything we need. Though it does not work that way. The world is not made in such a way that all can be born at the right good place, in the right good class, receiving all the good education or even being all very bright.

First Lady Michelle Obama reads "The Cat ...

First Lady Michelle Obama reads “The Cat in the Hat” to children in Ms. Mattie’s class at Prager Child Development Center March 12, during her visit to Fort Bragg, N.C. The First Lady spoke with Soldiers and Family members as part of her initiative to care for military families. First Lady vows support for military families (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Even when all the material richness would be there when you are born in a rich family it does not mean you will find the luck to have a good relationship between all the members of that family.

Wherever we may be born in whatever for family we are just part of one big turmoil. Every day, people’s lives are touched by political, social, economic, and religious conflicts that tear the human family apart. In these conflicts, it is common for people to take sides — verbally or otherwise — with the nation, tribe, language group, or social class of which they are a part.
Even when people are not directly involved in some conflict, they often find themselves favouring one side over another. But regardless of which person or cause they endorse, to whom are they really giving support?

The Bible plainly states:

The whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one.” (1 John 5:19)

Families are not always such perfect units that shields the individual from a cruel society. Mostly we do find that in those families where there are no rules and morals and no eye for ethics the chances of getting derailed are grater than in religious families where certain religious rules go over the human will.

We must come to see we too can often be the cause of a problem. We too can be making problems even bigger than they are. Also by becoming indifferent for what goes on we can get ourselves in a deeper mess than we would love to see ourselves. Indifference in the end shall create emotional agitation and stress which shall become so unbearable that the person shall find no inner peace left. Danger then is that one tries to look for detachment, thinking it can preserve the self.

Another big problem is when people are not open enough to tell each-other what is on their liver. When not willing to let yourself be seen by the other like you are, you are that other person not giving the opportunity to get to know you, like you are really. It is by not having the open spirit to allow each other to be him or herself that restrictions are also laid on each other. When people than start remaining silent about the interference, the neglect, the labelling and toxic in-fighting, that often leaves a person with a limp and the frustration may ferment the malfunction in the own body as well as in the facility of being part of one united family.

It is not by secretly covering our own failures and mishaps until we can identify the black sheep that can take the blame, that we are going to come to a good solution. The opposite, that will bring us deeper in the well.

Deep in us may we find it screwing and tormenting. Our head can becoming spinning and looking for answers, but not seeing the places where those answers are easy to pick up. This deep-seated conflict between the desire to know and the inability to find the answer has tormented thinkers and philosophers throughout the ages. However, since God has put that yearning or desire in our heart, is it not logical to look to him to provide what is needed to satisfy that desire? After all, the Bible says of Jehovah:

“You are opening your hand and satisfying the desire of every living thing.” (Psalm 145:16)

For all those conflict which are between the family members, those persons should come to see what binds them, what makes it that they are brother and sister and that their is something in their blood which is more than special, even unique.

Even when we do feel so much hurt by our own family members, we should come over the point of being selfish and come to see that we can be a necessary link to heal the wounds made previously.

Being kind to those in our family involves following the admonition of the apostle Paul:

“Really put them all away from you, wrath, anger, badness, abusive speech, and obscene talk out of your mouth.”

Every day, Christian families should communicate with one another in a respectful manner. Why? Because good communication is the lifeblood of strong, healthy families. When disagreements arise, to smooth the conflict, try to solve the problem rather than win the argument. Happy family members make an earnest effort to promote kindness and consideration for one another. — Colossians 3:8, 12-14.

By turning to God’s Word, the Bible, we can find satisfying explanations about life and death and about God’s eternal purpose regarding the earth and the human family. — Ephesians 3:11.

Kindness is positive and makes us want to do good to others. Thus, we seek to be useful, considerate, and helpful in an agreeable manner with other family members. It takes both individual and collective effort to show the type of kindness that speaks well of a family. As a result, not only will they have God’s blessing but, in the congregation and in the community, they will honour the God of kindness, Jehovah. — 1 Peter 2:12.

When frustrated, when in conflict with members of the family it would be best to seek Biblical advice and to put your own “self” not in the centre but alongside all others in the family. By going to look for answers in the Holy Scriptures solutions may be found. Even when others do not want to know of God, you yourself will be able to change so much that your improved attitude shall be helpful to heal the wounds.

Seeing all the conflicts around us we also should try to become part of them. Best we take on a form of neutrality. Taking care of not to become misled with what is going on around us we should show others the other way to come closer to each other and to have agapé love.

We ourselves should know that our time on earth is limited and that we should make the best of it. Our hope should be in the coming new world, and it is that idea that we should share with those around us. Our task is to come up for others and to protect them, but we must know that we can not take them or ourselves out of this world. (John 17:15, 16) We live in this world and have to live with it, but that does not mean we have to live according to it. No, we have to live according to God’s Law and by following His word many blessings may come over us already in this life. By not wanting to be part of this world, but by being part of God’s world we shall find ways to bring the love of Christ over unto others as well and then the love of Christ may also grow deeper in us.  .

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Preceding articles:

When you stay in your lane, there’s no traffic.

Family happiness and little things we do

Families with four or more kids most happiest

.under the gazebo.

How to Raise a Happy Child

Crisis man needed in this world

Dissolve The Barriers You Created

What is important?

Learning that stuff is just stuff

72 Synod Fathers on the topic “The vocation and mission of the family in the Church and the contemporary world”

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Additional reading

  1. Behold, My mother and My brothers!
  2. Importance of parents 1
  3. Importance of parents 2
  4. Father and motherhood
  5. Youngsters, parents and the search to root in life
  6. Some one or something to fear #4 Families and Competition
  7. Teach children the Bible
  8. Poverty and conservative role patterns
  9. Dignified role for the woman
  10. Connection between women and environmental sustainability
  11. Three years ago and look back at several decennials ago
  12. Growing rift between observant parents and their children
  13. Synod of Bishops concerning minors
  14. Two synods and life in the church community
  15. Need to Embrace People Where They Are
  16. Conclusion of the synod of bishops for seeing the family in the light of the Gospel and church tradition
  17. Don’t be the weakest link
  18. I’m not a Mooch
  19. Patience is the ability to count down before blasting off
  20. Agape, a love to share with others from the Fruit of the Spirit
  21. Better loaves when the heart is joyous
  22. Jehovah’s Witnesses Shunning ex-members adverse effects on family relationships
  23. Agape, a love to share with others from the Fruit of the Spirit

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Further reading

  1. Conflict: Understanding Suspense
  2. Understanding others
  3. Understanding between religions
  4. Urges
  5. Subconflict, and Lots of It
  6. Fighting words: The role of conflict in fiction writing.
  7. No one listening? Then stop shouting, you might get heard
  8. The Rise and Fall of Action – for all levels
  9. Never Doubt Yourself
  10. Remembering Infinity: Caution…Egos at Work!
  11. Follow your heart when it’s in conflict with your brain!!!
  12. Can the World Bank Reduce Conflict in Nigeria by Providing Social Assistance?
  13. I Find my self conflicted
  14. Governance in a Mature Society, Part 2
  15. Communicating With Family – How to Let a Family Member Know They Hurt You
  16. Blessings and Duct Tape: How to Help Your Kids Get Along
  17. Stand Firm
  18. Hope For Battle Weary Mamas
  19. Family Conflict and Summer: The Best Time To Work Out Issues
  20. The father-child meeting
  21. The Problem With Beliefs
  22. Fighting With Your Spouse: How You Indirectly Effect Your Child
  23. 6 Tips for Handling Family Conflicts While Caregiving
  24. 10 Things You Need To Hear If Your Significant Other And Your Family Don’t Get Along
  25. Hurt People Hurt People
  26. Divorce: Part 1
  27. Divorce: Part 2, the minor problem
  28. Their’s Was A Perpetual Love Affair
  29. Depression: Postpartum Depression in Mothers
  30. Personality: The Birth Order Effect
  31. Frustration
  32. Finding Home
  33. The Very Best Way To Understand Grace
  34. Just like Granny told you, “Count your blessings!”

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Filed under Activism and Peace Work, Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Lifestyle, Social affairs, Welfare matters

What is important?

Mary Ann Niemczura, born in Massachusetts, reared in Colorado and now living in Upstate New York, looks at three things which she finds  important to her and were she grow up in Massachusetts and in Colorado: Family, Faith, and Education.

In this world were morals, ethics and values are gone it is not bad to stand still for a moment and to wonder what made us unto what we are today.

Let us never forget those who are behind our making process, our parents, teachers, guides, and all the material which came under our eyes (books, theatre pieces, films, artefacts, …)

Like me she grew up in a time when education was still valued and probably the teachers still respected. At a new years dinner for municipal staff I was questioned about the use of musical education and playing an instrument. In the past that was considered as an asset and helpful to have the brains growing in a good way. The gift of music and diligent practice are very much helping the brain to develop so that there is gain on different fronts for other schoolsubjects as well as analytic and creative thinking.  The author has good reason to

belief that children who play a musical instrument including voice have a better chance of success in school.  They learn to listen and to read as well as to memorize more quickly.

Also the religious upbringing may help to create a decent personality which is respectful to nature and all those living on this globe. Learning from the Holy Scriptures not only gives a good formation for our relationships with others, it also shall make us a better person, not only believing in the Creator but also believing in the self, which shall give more confidence to tackle certain tasks and to withstand certain counteraction or thwart.

To have hope for the future we have to work at it that others also come to understand the reasons why we should have certain values, cherish and nourish certain morals. Like in previous times it is still important to be involved with those around us, to read to the children, to give ethical and/or religious education and to practice faith with those who are near to us. Parents and educators do have to send a very clear message that education should be at the top of the list after family and faith.

Then we might have fewer morally bankrupt persons in society.

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Additional reading

  1. Too many pupils for not enough teachers
  2. A learning process for each of us
  3. Passion and burn out of a teacher

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Dr. Mary Ann Niemczura

Three things are important to me and were growing up in Massachusetts and in Colorado.

Family-we had the luxury of a stay at home mom which I believe made all the difference in growing up.  We did not have babysitters come in.  My parents were simply always there for all of us children.  These were simpler times in the 40s and 50s when families made do with less.  I remember my parents growing most of the fruits and vegetables we needed.  My mother canned a lot for the winter months.  We kept potatoes in cold storage in the basement in Massachusetts.  We were happy and well fed.  Our mother sewed most of our clothes as well.  We knew we were well loved.

Faith-we attended church regularly which formed a strong foundation for our character and beliefs. We participated in religious education at church as well.  Parents who give…

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Filed under Cultural affairs, Educational affairs, Knowledge & Wisdom, Lifestyle, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Religious affairs, Spiritual affairs

Crisis man needed in this world

On Saturday the 10th of October Christadelphians come together at Dudley College in the United Kingdom to talk about the diminishing congregations in the United Kingdom. But it is not only there ecclesiae are struggling to make the ends meet and to have enough believers in Christ and in God in their meeting.

Many denominations in Christendom are victim of these times of ungodliness. It is also mainly that ungodliness that shows up in the families and in the behaviour of man. the difficulties people have in conversations and the wrong going communications have provided our world with many difficulties and lots of broken families and divorcees.

Lots of people who call themselves Christian are afraid to show others who they love and what they are standing for. Lots of Christians are afraid to let others know they are Christian. Less people are even willing to proclaim the Word of God and preach the Gospel of the Good News.

Our world urgently need men of God who are willing to go out in the world and preach that Gospel of peace and of hope in the future.

This world in crisis needs many “crisis man”. In this world where many want to be famous we need people who want to be more than a very well know figure and more than just a milepost-a marker on the road to destruction. A real follower of Christ should love it that people would be able to see Jesus in them.

Real followers of Christ should not be afraid to face the confrontation with non-believers or haters of God. They want them to be confronted with the decision to accept or reject the furious love of God.

meandyvettecraterlakeA missionary to Ethiopia, Ramon Mayo, pastor of a multiethnic Vineyard church, has now become a writer/editor in the South Suburbs of Chicago and probably sees a lot of problems in the poorer communities over there. Being rooted in blackness, following Jesus and embracing the world he is very well aware that everyone in the world is not like him and that the Church may be a bunch of people who are not like him worshipping the same God.

Like him we should know that everywhere may be different cultures and that around us we may find people who are not like us, act and behave differently than us. But somehow we should come to see that we all part of this world and that we all come from the same origin, the Base and the same divine creation.

In this world we may live and come to do things. We also have feelings for those around us and even for the place where we live in. But we should not forget where we want to place our loyalty.

Is it towards your country of origin or towards the new citizenship you have in God’s kingdom? {Are you an American or a Christian?}

Too many people have lost track of the main or the right road. It would be best if we could see some more people who are willing to help others to get back on track. Guides are needed to show people the Way again.

When the rubber hits the road and the values and priorities of America (or whatever country. You fill in the blank.) clash with the values of Jesus who wins out.

For me my loyalties lie with Jesus. The hard part is sorting out which values are his and which ones are part of the current government and culture I live in.

It’s hard to be in the world but not of it. {Are you an American or a Christian?}

We have looked hard for interested people who would like to join this platform writing about the way of life and preaching about the future hope, the Kingdom of God. But no other preachers showed up, who did not want to get paid like the other writers presented from the start. Most people want to receive a reward now and want to get paid for their writings. But preaching demands the love of giving to others without willing to receive something for it. Preaching is a free gift, for the free gift of grace we all have received. It is a way of showing thankfulness and appreciation for what Christ Jesus has done for us. Preachers should know and continue the task Jesus has given his followers.

In this ungodly world it is high tie we get more preachers on their feet and that those who call themselves Christian really show to the world what it means to be a follower of Christ.

if I believe Jesus is the way,the truth, and the life and without Him our lives are condemned and we are doomed then easy or hard the choice is simple. {Make me a crisis man}

We wonder who wants to come up for Christ and show others the Way. How many want to answer the call of Jesus Christ? how many want to be an encourager?

Do you want to just be a milepost or a fork in the road? {Make me a crisis man}

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Continue reading: The Big Conversation

Preceding: 72 Synod Fathers on the topic “The vocation and mission of the family in the Church and the contemporary world”

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Additional reading:

  1. World Agenda for Sustainability
  2. Not many coming out with their community name
  3. Atonement And Fellowship 3/8
  4. Challenging claim 2 Inspired by God 1 Simple words
  5. God who knows the heart
  6. An anarchistic reading of the Bible—(1) Approaching the Bible
  7. Why we do not have our worship-services in a church building
  8. I remember you in my prayers
  9. Meet the atheist … who believes in God
  10. Called Christian
  11. Be an Encourager
  12. A Synod to speak freely and to listen without reservations
  13. Let us make sure we are not stiff-necked
  14. Many forgot how Christ should be our anchor and our focus
  15. Preachers should know and continue the task Jesus has given his followers
  16. Commitment to Christian unity
  17. Fellowship
  18. The Ecclesia
  19. The Ecclesia in the churchsystem
  20. The ecclesia or Christadelphian church
  21. Who are the Christadelphians
  22. Keeping an ecclesia in modern times
  23. Christadelphian people
  24. Christadelphians
  25. Christadelphians or Messianic Christians or Messianic Jews
  26. My faith
  27. A Living Faith #8 Change
  28. Priority to form a loving brotherhood
  29. Small churches of the few Christadelphians
  30. What Christadelphians teach
  31. About the Belgian Free Christadelphians
  32. 19° Century London Christadelphians
  33. Faith and works
  34. Breathing to teach
  35. Breathing and growing with no heir
  36. Perishable non theologians daring to go out to preach
  37. Belonging to or being judged by
  38. Good or bad preacher
  39. Jehovah’s Witnesses not only group that preach the good news

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Filed under Activism and Peace Work, Announcement, Lifestyle, Religious affairs, World affairs

72 Synod Fathers on the topic “The vocation and mission of the family in the Church and the contemporary world”

World Youth Day is a popular Catholic faith th...

World Youth Day is a popular Catholic faith themed international youth event initiated by Pope John Paul II but those very enthusiast youngsters do not always come out very happy families and often meet lots of friends from new assembled families (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

72 Synod Fathers got together at the Vatican to look after family life, debating at the Synod on Marriage and Family from October the 4th until the 25th.

The Vatican spokesman Fr. Federico Lombardi said this synod wants to give more space to the various language-specific groups (circuli minores) and under the new proceedings, there will be a commission of ten Synod Fathers nominated by the Pope, who will follow the work of the assembly.

Pope Francis I in his brief speech underlined that this Synod is to develop in continuity with last year’s Extraordinary Synod. He said that

“three documents from the last Synod are to be considered official: the opening speech, the concluding speech and the final relatio synodi.”

The clergy has a year time to go locally in debate and to come to some conclusions which should be further discussed in Rome. Additions were made to this concluding document between the 2014 assembly and the start of this October gathering, with contributions received by the Synod secretariat, which then turned it into the Instrumentum laboris – the Ordinary Synod’s working document – “with the Pope’s participation”.

Catholics and those interested in the Catholic Faith should know that

Catholic doctrine on marriage has not been touched, no one called it into question in this assembly or in the Extraordinary assembly. It has been preserved in its integrity”.

the Vatican spokesman Fr. Federico Lombardi said, adding,

“We must not let ourselves be conditioned or limit ourselves seeing the question of communion for remarried divorcees as the only problem”. Instead, “the Instrumentum laboris requires a broader outlook.”

When the cardinals a few years ago choose a cardinal coming from a free-thinking religious society known to question Vatican directives and church teachings, they probably had not expected the new elected pope would become so popular and so forthcoming to the general public; Question is now how much does this pope wants to be open to the changed society where some governments even to introduce a third sex, taking into account those who have a dual sex or have changed their sex and want to have normal relationships as well. As the first Jesuit pontiff, Pope Francis I is also working in response to a 1990 call by Pope John Paul II in his Ex corde Ecclesiae (From the Heart of the Church), for closer ties between the church and Catholic colleges.

Those who hoped that Ex corde would usher in rapid change have also been disappointed. Many advocates maintain that the bishops have never fully enforced its guidelines. Catholic colleges still remain highly autonomous and do more or less what they want. When I talk to American Catholics outside academe, most draw a blank when Ex corde is mentioned. When Pope Benedict XVI addressed Catholic educators during his visit to the United States in April 2008, he made no direct reference to the Apostolic Constitution. {Catholic Colleges 20 Years After ‘Ex Corde’}

“Catholic identity” and “faith and reason” since that call have been circulating, bolstered by Pope John Paul II’s 1998 encyclical Fides et Ratio (Faith and Reason), which was widely discussed on Catholic campuses worldwide. But the Catholic Church did not seem to come to reason and had even more difficulties to address other gender feelings than in the 1960ies. The clergy came to exclude more and more people. Also having difficult family issues made even more Catholics shunned by their church. The exclusion of many parishioners made the churches run faster empty. Feeling the water at their mouth, nearly drowning some Catholic church fathers are aware that there must come an end to exclusionary language and a strong emphasis on embracing reality as it is.

“We should not be afraid of new and complex situations.”

says Basilian Father Thomas Rosica, the Vatican’s English speaking language spokesperson,who was speaking at the briefing of the Synod’s second day in the Vatican press office, with its director, Father Federico Lombardi, Italian Archbishop Claudio Celli, and Canadian Cardinal Paul-Andre Durocher.

Fr. Rosica Speaks on Synod Delegates, Fathers Discussing the Need to Embrace People Where They Are

The importance of changing language used to address certain difficult situations, Fr. Rosica said, was highlighted.

“The language must be renewed,”

he said, noting how this is especially appropriate and linked to the Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy which Pope Francis has declared, December 8, 2014 – November 20, 2015.

“The Jubilee of Mercy requires a language of mercy,”

he stated. Father Rosica underscored how language ought to always be inclusive, rather than exclusive, particularly for homosexuals.

“In particular, when speaking about homosexuals or gay persons,”

he said,

“we recognize them for who they are: They are our sons, our daughters, and brothers, sisters, neighbours and colleagues.”

Not only the Catholic Church is struggling with that subject of feelings people can have for people of the same sex. When you look at the net in Christian circles the gay matter may be a seriously discussed parcours where some so called Christians may use a terrible language or send horrible messages to those who are having other preferences than the mainstream people in our society.

Healthy seriously sane people are sensible enough to approach this matter with much caution and are aware that it is much more complicated than it looks at first sight. Most religious organisations from whatever denomination do know that it is not easy at all to convince people of the value of God’s Word.  They all know also how difficult it is nowadays to build up an ecclesia or church and to have that church grow. It might well be that it looks like we are living in a marvellous world, people over here are confronted with loads of problems and often need social, psychological and communal help. There is a huge need today for pastoral work. Also the Catholic Church knows that a better approach is needed for couples living together, to welcome and help them move forward toward a fulfilling married life, one which says:

“Look, God loves you as and where you are, but God doesn’t want you to stay there. He wants you to go further.”

A common suggestion of the delegates, Father Thomas Rosica noted, was not only for greater preparation before entering into marriage, but to continue into its early stages to help couples adapt to their lives as spouses.

Moreover, the synod fathers and delegates spoke about the role and treatment of the elderly, especially for their importance in transmitting the faith and values with in families.

There are Americans who think that dissident Catholic pressure groups — aided by the liberal media — are feverishly working to dismantle vital Church teaching on marriage and family at this Synod on the Family in Rome. The American TFP was joining forces with over 20 more pro-family groups around the world to collect as many signatures as possible before this Synod started. They want others to believe that

they are bombarding the Holy Father and the Synod Fathers right now with messages of revolt against traditional moral values as they lamor for “change, change, change” inside the Church. {Filial Petition to Pope Francis}

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Find also:

  1. Two synods and life in the church community
  2. A synod not leading to doctrinal changes because it is about pastoral attention
  3. Different assessment criteria and a new language to be found for communicating the faith
  4. People of 2013
  5. Liberation, salvation and the Latin American voice entering the Vatican
  6. Slum pope joins Catholic jamboree on famous beach of Copacabana
  7. Marriage covenant
  8. Marriage vows
  9. Same-sex marriage or Gay marriage
  10. A philosophical error which rejects the body as part of the human person
  11. Helping against or causing more homophobia
  12. A so called man of God say Christ was wrong about marriage
  13. Antichrist and The Most Hated Family in America in crisis
  14. Westboro Baptist Church and Catholic Truth against Nelson Mandela
  15. Tony Campolo Calls for Full Inclusion of LGBT Into the Church
  16. Mixed marriages
  17. Child marriage
  18. Bible Guidelines for a happy marriage
  19. That We May One is a book for married couples about awesome marriages
  20. Manifests for believers #1 Sex abuse setting fire to the powder
  21. Manifests for believers #2 Changing celibacy requirement
  22. Child sexual abuse
  23. What’s church for, anyway?
  24. Liberal and evangelical Christians

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Further reading

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Filed under Headlines - News, Lifestyle, Religious affairs, Social affairs

Family happiness and little things we do

The actions we undertake daily and seem to be such ‘little things’ we do in our everyday life, go further than we anticipate in solidifying or weakening the relationships in families. At the end of the track they proof to be very important and a necessity to have been structured in solid clay.

Many may think that annual family vacations have to be going abroad and that we all have to be partakers of worldly traditional feasts, like Christmas celebrations and Valentine’s Day gift-giving practices which have become integral consumption rituals in contemporary families. These man made artificial celebrations are no guaranty to family happiness. It is a wrong idea to think a family can not be happy when it does not celebrate Christmas, Easter or any other heathen or so called Christian feast.

Those who want to keep to God’s Will and as such abstain from the heathen feasts like Halloween, Christmas, Easter, still can enjoy very happy moments together. All the material presents may be very nice surprises with bring joy, but they also can be given at other moments. And all family members should be aware that it is not the material which brings happiness, but the feeling of being together and sharing a happy time with each other.

We have been socialised by media, family and other social institutions to dedicate more attention to these rather conspicuous consumption experiences and have gradually become less concerned of the importance of the mundane, everyday consumption behaviour to our relationships and overall family wellbeing.

In many families we can see that parent buy their children. When divorced and one parent gives something the other parent want to give something more expensive and bigger.

we fail to recognise and appreciate the underpinning significance of these frequently taken-for-granted consumption experiences to happiness, satisfaction and stability in our family relationships. Instead we seek to construct family bonding through perhaps rather superficial, conspicuous consumption acts such as buying expensive gifts for loved ones, committing to elaborative annual family holidays and following extensive Christmas rituals.

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Preceding articles:

Families with four or more kids most happiest

How to Raise a Happy Child

 

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Additional reading:

  1. Self-development, self-control, meditation, beliefs and spirituality
  2. Focus on outward appearances
  3. Being Religious and Spiritual 8 Spiritual, Mystic and not or well religious
  4. Holidays, holy days and traditions
  5. Thanksgivukkah and Advent
  6. Autumn traditions for 2014 – 6 Bonfire night
  7. Halloween custom of the nations
  8. Autumn traditions for 2014 – 1: Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet
  9. Christian values, traditions, real or false stories, pure and upright belief
  10. Why we do not keep to a Sabbath or a Sunday or Lord’s Day #3 Days to be kept holy or set apart
  11. A season of gifts
  12. Irminsul, dies natalis solis invicti, birthday of light, Christmas and Saturnalia
  13. Wishing lanterns and Christmas
  14. Christmas, Saturnalia and the birth of Jesus
  15. God’s Special Gift
  16. Christmas customs – Are They Christian?
  17. The Evolution Of Passover–Past To Present
  18. Who Celebrates Easter as Religious Holiday
  19. Eostre, Easter, White god, chocolate eggs, Easter bunnies and metaphorical resurrection
  20. Easter: Origins in a pagan Christ
  21. 14-15 Nisan and Easter
  22. 14 Nisan a day to remember #4 A Lamb slain
  23. Easter holiday, fun and rejoicing
  24. Not bounded by labels but liberated in Christ
  25. Seven Bible Feasts of JHWH

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How to Raise a Happy Child

Living together demands respect for each other and willingness to offer each other time to develop, to have some time for the self, but also to share thoughts and several moments of togetherness and feeling of unity per day.

Today to many families have to face falling apart because not enough time is spent for each other, and too many are to much involved in their own ego and receiving, instead of willing to give to the other.

We all should spend more time in the willingness to share and consider that it is better to live and let live without harassing or embarrassing others to make one feel good and happier by putting others down.

A Little Happiness

A Little Happiness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For a peaceful, contentment, with calm, inner good feeling we should allow our body speak properly and not hide things for each other. We should not mind expressing ourselves with smiles, joy, laughter and dancing.

Whatever happiness translates into in personal context this happiness should be shared with those around us.

A family can find happiness when its members are willing to see the beauty in everything, including fragrance in roses not just thorns, respecting each-others differences.  Consideration is required to careful take note of the measures taken to enjoy happiness. One’s happiness is inclusive of other’s happiness, so policies on world happiness well-being measures involve primary life evaluations of all people on earth.

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To remember:

most important contributor  = doing things as a family

setting expectations and clear rules, but not having too high expectations

working together

encouraging a feeling of camaraderie and a sense of being part of the team

feeling to be in this together > One for all and all for one.

feeling loved and giving love giving recognition for jobs done > Pats on the back from parents and “I love yous”

living in the present, not bringing back bad things that happened in the past

getting along and being respectful of each other = no screaming matches, no name-calling, no constant criticisms

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Preceding articles:

Families with four or more kids most happiest

Family happiness and little things we do

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"The Neighborhood Counselor"

Lots of tools for raising a healthy, happy child. Family time is important.
Are your children happy?

Even though happiness is genetically linked, only about 50 percent of happiness is driven by genes. The other 50 percent is driven by what happens to a child on a daily basis.

One of the most important contributors to a child’s happiness is doing things as a family. Nothing feels so good as when a family goes biking, hiking or spends part of the day at the zoo.

I know one family who has designated Wednesday nights as family night. This is the night nothing interferes. They have dinner and then play board games. Even the 17-year old participates. “Once you set a night and stick to it month after month, year after year, it becomes the expectation,” says the mother, “and our children look forward to it.”

Another happiness ingredient is working…

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.under the gazebo.

Family happiness is hidden in small things and in the moments we can share with each other. Laughing and making fun together on sunny but also on rainy days.

thebugsmommy's blog

a little family fun under the gazebo during a beautiful afternoon at the park…

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Families with four or more kids most happiest

Coming from a big family, I myself also wanted to have a big family, being convinced in such environment the kids can learn how to socialise, to communicate and to cope with different difficult situations. Though I do agree sometimes when the household is too big it is in later generations not always easy to keep contact with each other. therefore personally I think 4 or 5 kids is an ideal.

Family portrait with parents and four daughters.

A family portrait with parents and four daughters. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

According to a study by Australia’s Edith Cowan University, Dr. Bronwyn Harman, of the psychology and social science school at the university, after five years studying what types of families are most content, found out that parents of large families have the most life satisfaction.

During her five-year study, Harman interviewed hundreds of parents from different family makeups. Her findings are based on resilience, social support, self-esteem, and life satisfaction.

Family therapist Lois Braverman, president and CEO of the Ackerman Institute for the Family in New York City, says larger families are probably happier because they always have someone to talk to and count on. They face less isolation. But, despite family size, she says the number one thing that determines happiness is family processes like positive parenting, setting boundaries, showing love and offering consistency.

I also think they learn to be patient with each other and always find ways to enjoy some time together. This time spending with each other is according to me the most important factor to bring happiness in the family. The study also mentioned this sharing time as important factor of happiness, like watching together to television, sitting around the table having lunch together and sharing ideas.

 

Find out more:

Researcher Finds Pattern among Happiest Parents

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Bring Back My Happiness

Bring Back My Happiness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Learning that stuff is just stuff

Lindsay Felderman confesses she is a person that likes to shop and buy new things.  Over the years she has accumulated a lot of stuff, from clothes to shoes to hats to Apple products to video games and more, like so many people have gone from one shop to an other or looked at the internet shops to find their liking.

Though many focus on gaining material wealth her eyes may have gone open by two life events that have happened/are happening now that are making her come to the realization more and more, that things are just things, and that what is more important is creating memories with people that you love.

What may be the changing elements that people come to see that they have to live more simply.

She writes:

if we haven’t used/seen/worn something in the past year, it’s out of here.  Going to charity or the garbage.  No need to keep so many physical items around.  I have learned over the years and the amount of times I have moved, that stuff is just stuff, but every time I settle down, it seems I collect more and more.  Well, not this time.  I am getting rid of the clutter and starting fresh. {The Meaning of Material Things}

Today lots of people have lost track of the necessities of real life making issues. Several youngsters are clinging to the idea of having the most recent newest thing brings happiness, and want to do everything to get the new hipe. They have no idea any more that material things are nothing without real people behind it that get their love from those around it.

For many people it takes a lot of time before they come to see what Lindsay came to see and feel when she and ‘her’

Samantha and I’s families met for the first time, Ever, in almost 3 whole years.

She came to feel one of the most elementary things for building up a real ‘home’ and a real ‘family’ and got to see what

transpired that day was truly magical, it was so special,

that she will never forget

Each one of us only brought certain family members to the event for various reasons.  But each one of our family members meshed in a way that I couldn’t have planned myself.  Every one was laughing and joking, and conversations were flowing all over the place.  Every one truly wanted to learn about the other.  There was not one dull moment.  It was honestly the way that family should be.  No drama, no fighting, just pure love, honest and true love.  I know this is really mushy, but if you know anything about the history of Samantha and I, you will know that this was a moment we were not sure would ever come. {The Meaning of Material Things}

It is incredible how many broken families we can encounter today. At school we find classes where there is not one kid who still lives by both its parents. Divorce seems to be the key word of this contemporary society where not many want to take time to talk with each other and to make it worthwhile living with each other instead of living next to each other.

Lindsay Felderman got reminded that family is what you make of it, but also came to see how it is possible for others to be there for you and how valuable this is. This is the most precious treasure so many do not seem to find, though it is so close at their doorstep.

Much more people should be there for each other,  willing to share their love and time for each other, with comprehension and with patience. It is so important

That people who truly love you, will be there for you.  That they will love you no matter what, that they will take you in their arms and hug you because you are special and unique and just You.

But to come to such a position people do have to be wiling themselves to be just their own and not somebody who fits the common trend of homogeneous people, wearing those clothes that shops and fashion magazines dictate.

When a person is really just herself and is willing to give her self openly to somebody else and to share herself with others than the doors may go open to build a good relationship and to build real ‘family’.

It is unbelievable what that lady could gather in whatever time it took to collect more than

The purge18, 30 gallon trash bags, filled with clothes, shoes, hats, purses, and accessories galore.  … They were just taking up space in our closet for no other reason than to take up space.  That wasn’t all we gave away though, just the 1st round.  I would say by the end of it, we had close to 30 bags that we donated, and a bunch of boxes of DVDs and books as well.  It felt great to get rid of so much Stuff.  That is all it was, just stuff, taking up space. {Do What You Say}

She also recognises that this doesn’t even include the amount of crap she had collected by the years and dared (at last) to threw away. We do not know if it would have been wise to throw a way her school projects she did when she was a kid, even to her high school yearbook, because in our country (Belgium) a student has to keep the school material for ten years, because it can always asked a s a proof of studies and work done.

She went with the mantra that,

“I will always have the memories”.

but has forgotten that perhaps one day in history she perhaps would have children and later grandchildren and than she will not have anything to show and to share.
Naturally there is no need to continue to lug around physical items to remind oneself of those memories, as long as they are not destroyed. For the moment she thinks it is impossible that her memories can ever be destroyed, but then she forget that accidents and illnesses are possible to wash away any sort of memory and by then it can be useful to have some materials to bring back the memory. (The writer of this article your reading, speaks of experience, having had a memory loss after a very serious car-crash.)

Though lovely to hear Lindsay Felderman immediately felt lighter as she packed and got everything moved to her new place in one weekend.

But the point of this all,

she writes, is

I did what I said I was going to do.  I didn’t just talk the talk, I walked the walk.  I wrote about how material things aren’t the true meaning of life, that I was going to start to purge the majority of mine and I did it.

We are taught from a young age, that actions speak louder than words.  But many of us still grow up to be big talkers.  We talk about our dreams and what we could be doing.  But very few of us actually act on those dreams.  We let life get in the way, and we let our words speak louder than our actions instead of the other way around. {Do What You Say}

Today we do not find many youngsters with aspirations and when we encounter people who say they want to do this or that, we see that they are not really taking steps to do so. Not many want to do what they say, but it seem Lindsay took the courage to do so.

Can you do it as well?

She concludes

You gain more credibility in life when you just do what you say you are going to do.  Plus it feels better, you say something and you do it.  People around you begin to trust you, they believe that you will do the things you talk about.  When you only sit around and talk about it, you just become a talker, you become noise in their ear.  Much like the “wamp, wamp, wamp” noises that the adults in Charlie Brown made every time they were talking to the kids.  You don’t want to be that person.

Be someone who makes a difference, makes a change, follows your dreams and most importantly: do what you say. {Do What You Say}

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Preceding articles:

Mini-MAX-malism: A Bigger Approach to Less is More

Less… is still enough

Less for more

The Art of Doing Less – Your Time is Finite

Thought of the day: We want more, i want more, but why is that?

Looking at a conservative review of Shop Class As Soul Craft

Material wealth, Submission and Heaven on earth

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