Tag Archives: Relationships

die seisoen draai vir my

 

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12 Augustus 2010

Ek voel elke dag ligter, daar is bande en strikke wat loskom en ek is dankbaar daarvoor. Dit is goed dat elke area in my lewe apart aangespreek word so dat ek nie iets mis nie. Ek doen baie introspeksie en het vir die eerste keer in jare tyd.
Mindspace.
Ek is nie spyt oor die besluite en keuses wat ek gemaak het nie, maar in retrospek sien ek die consequences. Ek gaan dit agter my sit.
Vryheid.
Om te weet ek het die beste gedoen wat ek in daardie oomblik gedink het, maar ek is nou vry daarvan.
Verwyte het nie meer plek nie, guilt nog minder.
Ek is losgemaak.
Nou span ek my lewe volgens God se plan en ek glo met my hele hart dat ek in purpose sal staan.
Ek begin oor.
Nuut.
God’s way en ek sien uit daarna.
Om nie meer hard te werk om co~dependent en disfunctional verhoudings in stand te hou nie. Dit is nie meer my selfopgelegde taak om die wiele aan die kar te hou nie.
Geen wonder ek het uitgebrand gevoel op elke terrein van my lewe nie.
As God my toegerus het vir die taak kan ek verantwoordelikheid aanvaar, maar buite my circle of influence kan ek net bid.
Dit is genoeg! Dit is bevrydend.
Ek glo ook nie meer die leuens oor my nie, alles wat oor my gespreek was nie.
Ek het probeer kompenseer deur al hoe meer toegewings te maak, my loon was kritiek en blaam.
God ken my hart, Hy ken my wil, Hy het my vergewe.
Hy seën my, ek het niks meer nodig nie.
Dit het my ‘n hele leeftyd geneem om hier te kom, maar dit is nie te laat nie.

Repentance is a decision that results in a change of mind, which in turn leads to a change of purpose and action.

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I love people who have been
through adversity and heartache and obstacles
as impossible as the sun itself.
They usually make it out with hearts as warm as gold.
Cores made of fire.
Lives soaked with full intention.
Hope like another morning.
They know how to start again ~
how to walk through walls
with palms wide open
And know how to begin at the edge, and the end.
Those to me are the best people.
(Victoria Erickson)

Processed with Rookie Cam

I’ve never been rich,
but always wealthy,
giving and receiving
with my heart.
(C’Mor)

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Filed under Afrikaanse tekste, Being and Feeling

When you stay in your lane, there’s no traffic.

By Liza Borstlap

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I found personal happiness as a direct result of family conflict. The interaction left deep scars and I spent many years mourning the loss of my family and my relationships with them. It remains a questionable subject and not every person that I meet fully understands the extent of the consequences of my decision.

Looking back on my history with my family, I can identify the tipping point where I made a final decision that set me completely free.

A lifetime can well be spent correcting and improving one’s own faults without bothering about others. (Edward Weston)

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. (1 Thessalonians 4:11)

The wind blows where it pleases, you hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit. (John 3:8)

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We talk about family as if it is a perfect unit that shields the individual from a cruel society. We remain silent about the interference, the neglect, the labelling and toxic in-fighting that often leaves a person with a limp. We secretly cover the failures and mishaps until we can identify the black sheep that can take the blame.

I came to believe that the conflict in my family had created itself. I was suffocating from the indifference and interference in my life. The emotional agitation and stress became so unbearable that I had no inner peace left. For my own self-preservation, I became emotionally detached.

After the split, it took a long time for me to heal from the emotional damage. I hid myself away for a few years before I had the courage to look at my reality again. At first I was ashamed to admit to anyone that I had no contact with my family, which fuelled the misconception of what had actually happened. I inadvertently created a breeding field for lies to fester. I tried to compose myself by not taking other people’s emotions or perceptions too personally. I know of others who become insecure or who suffer from over-achievement, all in the pursuit of self-acceptance.

You cannot control anyone else’s journey through life. Focus on your own. Compassion, honesty, self-scrutiny, and an open mind are the only ‘one way’ to interact sanely and successfully with others. (Martha Beck)

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I had many moments of doubt when I questioned my sanity. I wondered about the impact of my decision on my children and wondered if my family even missed me, but I decided that I wouldn’t conform to society’s standards just for the sake of pretence. I realised in this isolated state that other people’s opinions do not define who I am in God’s eyes. I felt freedom. There were also days when I felt completely overwhelmed by the lack of any support system. I realised I was wasting a lot of energy on negative and false emotions.

I had a choice.

I chose to stay calm and focussed on God, despite the circumstances in my life, as God really is the only constant in life.

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Why do some people interfere in other people’s lives? Because they are curious… because they are control freaks… because they can ignore their own weaknesses if they focus on yours…

Life became easier when I started to focus on my own unique abilities, talents and giftings. I had complete freedom to raise my children in my own way. Only God would make it possible for us to survive and to prosper. We could tend to our own business.

Interfering in someone else’s argument is as foolish as yanking a dog’s ears. (Proverbs 26:17)

We hear that some of you are living in idleness. You are not busy working – you are busy interfering with other people’s lives! We order and encourage such people by the Lord Jesus, the Messiah, to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. Brothers, do not get tired of doing what is right. (2 Thessalonians 3:11-13)

Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. (1 Timothy 5:13)

I have a different perspective on the quality of relationships that I allow in my life today. If I don’t meet my own minimum requirements, I will always value other people’s opinions more than my own. The minute I fear rejection, I compromise my own well-being.

I often heard the statement that ‘happiness is an inside job’, but I know now that the people around me have a profound impact on my well-being. If I am dragged down by other people’s opinions about my life, or if someone is constantly reminding me about past failures, I see no value in the relationship. I am careful of people who keep lies alive through gossip or slander.

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Let every fox take care of its own tail. (Italian Proverb)

Keep your nose out of another’s mess. (Denmark Proverb)

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

After many years of swinging between certainty and doubt, I found my final solace in the Bible. The Old Testament is filled with stories of family conflict and disrupted relationships. More often than not, the feud resulted in a good outcome.

I know today that God sometimes allows conflict for a specific purpose. When that happens to me, He covers me with His grace.

God has evoked conflict. The conflict causes pain and shame to every player, but God doesn’t shrink from the conflict, for a holy purpose is underway. The way of God will not be explained. (Brueggemann)

God’s grace often goes against propriety, social convention, and the ‘normal’ way for this world. (Steven Fettke)

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I walk away when…

Someone gives me unsolicited advice.

I wonder if someone really wants to help me, or if they are just curious.

My situation affects someone else.

Someone intrudes on my turf.

I feel blind sighted.

I feel like a fish being reeled into someone else’s issues.

Good advice

If you overhear something of note between two people, or a group of people, but the topic does not concern you or affect you in any way, then let the matter stay between the people it concerns. (Unknown)

There is nothing more provocative than minding your own business. (William S. Burroughs)

Don’t bother to ring a bell in the ear that doesn’t listen. Move to another ear, and if he doesn’t listen to your bell, sit back and listen to his nemesis. (Michael Bassey Johnson)

You would be very surprised with how much positive changes you could make in your life, if you could make it your top priority to mind your own business. (Edmond Mbiaka)

To be busy minding other people’s business, is to leave one’s personal business unattended to. (Edmond Mbiaka)

While you are too busy minding other people’s business, who is minding yours? (Edmond Mbiaka)

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Filed under Geestelijke aangelegenheden, Knowledge & Wisdom, Quotations from Holy Scriptures, Quotations or Citations, Spiritual affairs

When looking for God or wanting to relate to the Most High Divine God

For those who want to look for God, want to find the way to God and want to connect to Him when they found Him, there are two new English and three Dutch websites to help them on their road to a peaceful life full op hope.

On March the 9th of the year 2016 the small community of God loving people in Belgium, united under the Cornerstone Christ Jesus, presented “Relating to God” on a Weebly site and “Relating to God – Blog” on WordPress.

Relating to God (Christadelphian Weebly site) by the opening 2016 March 9

Relating to God (Christadelphian Weebly site) by the opening 2016 March 9

Relating to God Blog WP 20160310 Blog

Openings article for the WordPress Blog “Relating to God” on March 9, 2016

Both sites could be considered siblings. together they form one unit, offering people all over the world the possibility to find more about our relationship with our surroundings (nature and people around us) and with the Source of all the things around us (the Divine Creator).

We also want to show people the Way to God, the Nazarene Jeshua who managed to put his own will aside to do the Will of God. Like him we should try to put our own will aside and to make us strong enough to leave the human traditions and human dogma’s for what they are preferring to stick to Biblical dogma’s, set-apart teachings of men of God, listening to the sacred Words of God Himself.

We do hope several people may come along and find some interesting material which can help them on their quest to God or to find assurance to be on the right track. Together we should help each other to find comfort in Biblical teaching and support each other in the preaching of the Good News of the coming Kingdom of God.

In Dutch similar content is presented in a triptych. Each individual website concentrating on one subject: 1. Looking for God: Op zoek naar God; 2. the Way to God: De Weg naar God; 3. Finding God: God vinden.

Op zoek naar God - Homepage 20160214 De Weg naar God - Homepage 20160218 God vinden - Homepage 20160213

We kindly invite you to come along, visiting those sites and perhaps leaving some note behind or subscribing to some of them.

Yours truly,

Relating to God

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English: The Grange, Omagh In every grown-up m...

The Grange, Omagh In every grown-up man there’s a small boy wanting to get out. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Filed under Aankondiging & Introductie, Announcement, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Religious affairs

29. Laws that Value People

In our series on abortion we have let you hear pro’s and con’s and tried to show how we have to cope with such situations when something terrible happened or when people are confronted with the question of going to a Family Planning Office or counsellor or an abortion clinic.

Lots of people think there are only the 10 commandments, forgetting that those better would be called 10 Words. In the Torah are many many more rules given and to often people overlook the “You may not’s” to see them as commandments as well. Once is said a person may not do something him or her is given a rule or regulation to keep at.

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Those who call themselves Christian should better also look at those “You may not” remarks in the Holy Scriptures.
Most of the instructions given in the Holy Scriptures concern relationships; the relationship to the Divine Creator and His creation, the creatures (man, animal and plant). They concern our attitude to ourself, to others around us, and to our ‘wants‘ and involve the things we should want to share with others around us, guiding us to a good behaviour and to a good way of life.

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In case many more people would live according to those Divine instructions there would be less trouble and less pain in this world.

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To remember:

Much of our Western world rejects God and many would say our only meaning is found in evolution, and humanists and atheists (who tend to be one and the same) say that evolution is about survival and we have arrived at a point where we are sophisticated human beings who now act on more than just instinct. We have developed reason and rationality and so we see that it is sensible, if nothing else, to think well of one another if we are to survive and not enter another world war which would undoubtedly be even worse than the previous two. To survive we need to think well of one another. {28. Valuing People}

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Simply writing a list of human rights does not mean everyone will keep them. They will not make a child obey its parent or the parent not abuse the child. They will not stop an employer abusing an employee or vice-versa. They will not stop politicians, or any other national leaders for that matter, acting corruptly. Laws may be good in general but a strong adherence to the values underpinning those laws (remember, we considered this a couple of meditations back) will be the only thing that guarantees we treat one other well across the globe and, as we suggested in a previous meditation, we will only hold those values when we see and accept the primary cause behind those values – God. Any and every other foundation gives way. It will only be those who hold fast to God, the loving God of the Bible who reveals His design for us, who will genuinely hold these values – and live by them! {28. Valuing People}

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Gal 9:5,6“I will demand an accounting for the life of his fellow man. Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for in the image of God has God made man.”

= You Will be held accountable to God for the wrongful killing of another person.

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God’s values are expressed in the Law He gave to Moses

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at the heart of valuing a human being = honour or respect or value the victim’s life > in the image of God has God made man

  • evolution is the method God used in Creation, it was with purpose {28. Valuing People}
  • God’s first ‘laying down the law’ in respect of the sanctity of human life
  • God warned about being held accountable for taking a human life – + by implication forbade the taking of human life
  • God warned of what the repercussions would be for taking a human life
  • Ten Commandments = first half = about relationship with God + second half about relationships with other human beings
  • instructions go to the heart of community + civilisation, relationships within families
  • Parents = building block for next generation + to be honoured
  • if parents are dishonoured or disrespected => following generation will be at odds with God’s design for a harmonious world

following commands in the negative form – “you shall not” = so sharp + clear => consequences for ignoring them not spelled out by God

=  in respect  of a) basic human life,  b) marriage relationships, c) personal property, d) human reputation and e) human peace and security.

main covenant laws = guidance laws about dealing with servants (slaves) i.e. respect within employment (Ex 21:2-11), the penalty for murder (v.12,14), manslaughter (v.13), a child attacking or cursing its parents (v.15,17), the death penalty for kidnapping (v16), ….

= steady catalogue of instructions about dealing with people + dealing with circumstances where life is threatened

first 15 verses of chapter 22 about dealing with property problems + protecting people, e.g. virgins 22:16,17,  aliens (22:21), widows and orphans (22:22-24), i.e. protecting the vulnerable.

Into chapter 23 we find laws about justice in general, about not helping the wicked (v.1), not perverting justice (v.2), not showing favouritism (v.3), not denying justice (v.6), not making false charges (v.7), not using bribes (v.8), not oppressing foreigners (v.9) + about their relationship with the Lord when they enter the Promised Land

first nine verses of chapter 23 = about making sure that people are dealt with fairly (justly).

=> underlying value of importance of each individual human being covered by a law to protect them

laws show how to deal with miscreants, how to deal with situations that go wrong

in Leviticus a whole series of lengthy requirements about offering sacrifices and those laws are all about how a guilty sinner can get right again with God.

God does bring destructive judgment on human beings > a remarkably restrained hand > constantly looking for the good for humanity

We are to value human life.

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Additional reading

  1. No prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation
  2. Incomplete without the mind of God
  3. No prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation
  4. Bible, helmet of health, salvation and sword of the spirit
  5. Bric-a-brac of the Bible
  6. Feed Your Faith Daily
  7. We should use the Bible every day
  8. Fools despise wisdom and instruction
  9. Every creature is a divine word because it proclaims God.
  10. Observing the commandments and becoming doers of the Word

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Further reading

  1. God’s Healing Power – Ask and You Shall Receive?
  2. Moses, the Exodus and the 10 Commandments
  3. The 10 Commandments
  4. 10 Commandments- Keeping the Name of God
  5. 10 Commandments: the idolatry commandments
  6. 10 Commandment Pt. 2
  7. God’s Law in the Life of the Baptized: The Fourth Commandment
  8. God’s Law in the Life of the Baptized: The Fifth Commandment
  9. God’s Law in the Life of the Baptized: The Sixth Commandment
  10. God’s Law in the Life of the Baptized: The Seventh Commandment
  11. “Are We Really Keeping the 10 Commandments?”
  12. Following the Rules
  13. What do you mean, the 10 Commandments don’t apply to me???
  14. Sermon on 11 October 2015 about a whole lot of Law….and just a little bit of Gospel. (Because you have to put it in there)
  15. The Law Fulfilled In You, Making It Obsolete
  16. Kosmic Laws Of Nature
  17. 20 Extremely Stupid Quotes By Famous People That Is Sure To Steal Your Ribs
  18. The Ten Commandments Still Apply
  19. Hear the Instruction of Thy Father, and Forsake Not the Law of Your Mother
  20. Trick for Memorizng the 10 Commandments
  21. These ought ye to have done…
  22. Beware Spiritual Lust
  23. Ten Words
  24. The Ten Commandments Movie trailer
  25. For the Narrative Lectionary Preacher: Deuteronomy & Talking about Law
  26. Ten Commandments Removal Discussion – Eavesdropping
  27. #7: This Rule Is So Underrated
  28. Do Romans 14 and Colossians 2 Provide Cover For Modern Sabbath Deniers?
  29. The Significance of the Shabbath & The Laws for Keeping the Shabbath
  30. Understanding Bible Truth
  31. Surpassing Glory.
  32. Don’t Just Let the Rocks Cry Out
  33. Humanity in the Toddler Stage
  34. Is Removing The 10 Commandments A Big Deal?
  35. Texas Riders Deliver 10 Commandments To Oklahoma Governor
  36. An Overview of the Ten Commandments Enforced by the Civil Magistrate
  37. Late Night Removal of 10 Commandments Monument in Oklahoma Reignites Controversy
  38. “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
  39. A Doubter’s Guide to the Bible Review: Is the Old Testament Law really good?
  40. The little boy on the beach….
  41. Truth 13. God’s laws guide you in the best way to live and lead you to Jesus.
  42. Living with the understanding that His commandments are not burdensome.
  43. In Need of Perfection – Part 11: You Shall Not Covet
  44. The Unity of Body, Soul and the Tablets
  45. Justifiable Acts Against Wrong
  46. Devarim Five: Shamor v’Zakhor
  47. Devarim Ten: Circumcise the Foreskin of Your Heart
  48. Deuteronomy Chapters 10, 11, and 12
  49. The basis of the 10 commandments

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Bible Meditation Shop

Meditations in Meaning & Values  29. Laws that Value People

Ex 20:12-15   “Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. “You shall not murder. “You shall not commit adultery.

“You shall not steal. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbour’s house.

We considered in the previous meditation God’s first ‘laying down the law’ in respect of the sanctity of human life. When He said, ““I will demand an accounting for the life of his fellow man. Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for in the image of God has God made man,” He not only warned about being held accountable for taking a human life – and by implication forbade the taking of human life, but He also warned…

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Filed under Crimes & Atrocities, Juridical matters, Lifestyle, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Religious affairs, Social affairs, Spiritual affairs, Welfare matters

Family happiness and little things we do

The actions we undertake daily and seem to be such ‘little things’ we do in our everyday life, go further than we anticipate in solidifying or weakening the relationships in families. At the end of the track they proof to be very important and a necessity to have been structured in solid clay.

Many may think that annual family vacations have to be going abroad and that we all have to be partakers of worldly traditional feasts, like Christmas celebrations and Valentine’s Day gift-giving practices which have become integral consumption rituals in contemporary families. These man made artificial celebrations are no guaranty to family happiness. It is a wrong idea to think a family can not be happy when it does not celebrate Christmas, Easter or any other heathen or so called Christian feast.

Those who want to keep to God’s Will and as such abstain from the heathen feasts like Halloween, Christmas, Easter, still can enjoy very happy moments together. All the material presents may be very nice surprises with bring joy, but they also can be given at other moments. And all family members should be aware that it is not the material which brings happiness, but the feeling of being together and sharing a happy time with each other.

We have been socialised by media, family and other social institutions to dedicate more attention to these rather conspicuous consumption experiences and have gradually become less concerned of the importance of the mundane, everyday consumption behaviour to our relationships and overall family wellbeing.

In many families we can see that parent buy their children. When divorced and one parent gives something the other parent want to give something more expensive and bigger.

we fail to recognise and appreciate the underpinning significance of these frequently taken-for-granted consumption experiences to happiness, satisfaction and stability in our family relationships. Instead we seek to construct family bonding through perhaps rather superficial, conspicuous consumption acts such as buying expensive gifts for loved ones, committing to elaborative annual family holidays and following extensive Christmas rituals.

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Preceding articles:

Families with four or more kids most happiest

How to Raise a Happy Child

 

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Additional reading:

  1. Self-development, self-control, meditation, beliefs and spirituality
  2. Focus on outward appearances
  3. Being Religious and Spiritual 8 Spiritual, Mystic and not or well religious
  4. Holidays, holy days and traditions
  5. Thanksgivukkah and Advent
  6. Autumn traditions for 2014 – 6 Bonfire night
  7. Halloween custom of the nations
  8. Autumn traditions for 2014 – 1: Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet
  9. Christian values, traditions, real or false stories, pure and upright belief
  10. Why we do not keep to a Sabbath or a Sunday or Lord’s Day #3 Days to be kept holy or set apart
  11. A season of gifts
  12. Irminsul, dies natalis solis invicti, birthday of light, Christmas and Saturnalia
  13. Wishing lanterns and Christmas
  14. Christmas, Saturnalia and the birth of Jesus
  15. God’s Special Gift
  16. Christmas customs – Are They Christian?
  17. The Evolution Of Passover–Past To Present
  18. Who Celebrates Easter as Religious Holiday
  19. Eostre, Easter, White god, chocolate eggs, Easter bunnies and metaphorical resurrection
  20. Easter: Origins in a pagan Christ
  21. 14-15 Nisan and Easter
  22. 14 Nisan a day to remember #4 A Lamb slain
  23. Easter holiday, fun and rejoicing
  24. Not bounded by labels but liberated in Christ
  25. Seven Bible Feasts of JHWH

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Filed under Lifestyle, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Religious affairs, Social affairs

Hoarding Relationships and Things

 

Preceding articles:

Material wealth, Submission and Heaven on earth

Learning that stuff is just stuff

Thought of the day: We want more, i want more, but why is that?

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Lifestyle, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs

Summermonths and consumerism

Summertime seems to have difficulties to show her face this year. Over a few days the days will shorten again and we did not have yet some real good nice warm days.

In the supermarkets they feel the consumption of meat not taking off like they want and therefore they are presenting special bargain prices, advertising against other trying to present the cheapest products. If they would be the best products would be an other matter. Also if they would be produced in a decent ethical way is for many of no concern.

We can imagine Middle School teacher Bob James throughout the year has to face his pupils with all sorts of gadgets, disturbed and tempted by lots of consumer products and market activities.

Real teachers do find it necessary to help others. Bob James also is firmly convinced that all of us need to be more proactive in helping others.

We need to help them when disaster strikes, when they are recovering and then when developing their lives to be the people that God intended them to be. We are meant to be independent of all except for God. On Him alone should we be dependent. Thus, as I seek to help others, I seek to move beyond mere relief and am focusing on rehabilitation and reconciliation. We are to be reconciled with God, with our fellow human beings and with our environment. If any one of these is missing, we will have problems. This is a tall order, but I will always seek to bring reconciliation. {About Me}

He, like many teachers are daily confronted with the non-interest for God, is probably also seeing that today the kids, but also their parents, have made new gods and have more interest in the material belongings than the spiritual.

The Human Use of Human Beings

The Human Use of Human Beings (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In previous articles on this blog we pointed out to this behaviour which is destroying our society like CO poisoning, not seen, not smelled, not heard. We are living in a society where eyes are directed on gaining capital, even if we need not to take notice of necessary protection for man or do not mind bringing shortage or harm to others, to get more money.

Our economy is based on consumerism. Ads are designed to appeal to people like me and make me not just want, but Need, the latest thing – whether that be a soft drink or the latest model car. {June 8 – What I Really Need}

In the years straight after the World Wars people seemed to know again the value of the necessities of life. Folks appreciated again the small things. (We remember sitting with three on a bench, having one study book, which we savoured like the best we could have to receive knowledge. We never wanted to have it for ourselves alone and where pleased when we could share things with others.) They were pleased with what they could get. They also wanted to show to others who they were and used their cloths to present their identity.

Today everybody seems to be hiding behind their clothes. They now have to be from one or the other brand, design and colour which is in fashion. All want to belong to the group and hide their own self behind brands which are ‘in’. Everything must be dictated by the market. Nobody wants to go against what the market dictates.

English: RedEye Sailboat Category:Images of Ch...

RedEye Sailboat one of the things people like to have for enjoying themselves and to show off (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In Summer this is made even more clear by everybody wanting to go in the garden and show off with what the market advertises and wants to press on everybody. As such, once it is beautiful weather, we can not sit outdoors without having to smell all the combustion products, from the people who do not know how to use properly those advertised and bought barbecue sets.

Having holiday also became equivalent to travelling. When people to day are saying they go on holiday, they mostly mean and want the other person to think they are going to travel abroad. For many taking a holiday in the own garden or in the own country is not having a holiday any more. The market made them to believe to relax and to take vacation or to take leave has to be going abroad and spending a lot of money at enjoyment, entertainment parks, luxury meals and pampering and health treatments.

People have to believe they only count in this society when they can show that they are using the latest gadgets and are ‘by the time’. All people who have not the newest things are ‘old’ or ‘out of date’. They best are ignored or put aside, as not being the right people to associate with. Or they are laughed at as old fashioned or ‘nerds’.

Bob James remarks:

How easily we buy the latest thing and throw away the old. One of the problems is that we not only throw away things, we also tend to throw away people or relationships if they don’t “meet our needs.” {June 8 – What I Really Need}

Those needs have become very selfish. Everything is directed to the ‘I’ and to the ‘what can I gain from this relationship’. Most people want to associate with other people in such a way that they may be sure others will find them interesting for the knowledge and acquaintances of such people. Most relations are build on the use they can provide for the self. Not the giving away has become important, nor the meaning something for some one else, but the meaning for the person him or herself, has become the landmark.

Clearly the focus of most people came on to the wrong things. This also made many relationships not last and break down. Often we see the other person has become of no real value, when not usable any more. We see that at work. As son as a person gets to ‘old’ or to ‘experienced’ and to ‘expensive because of ‘seniority’ he is made redundant.

But also the material things do not get time to stay in use as valuable. As soon there is a new model, the old one is considered as ‘passée’ .
Most people have placed their mind on things which are disposable.

What we should be thinking about is not “things,” but people. {June 8 – What I Really Need}

writes Bob James.

What we should be focusing on more than anything is our relationship with God. {June 8 – What I Really Need} (Though in his article gives a quote about focussing on Jesus, who is not God but the son of God, but who also deserves our attention.)

Today, we can see that a lot of people who are debtors to the material things of this world. Most have forgotten that their body should be a temple, a place for clean things. Natural products for many are a laugh-stock. Biological products for many are either for the ‘loonies’ or have become a way to show off, because they are much more expensive and a way to proof they can afford it and belong to such a class of people, having enough money to buy such things.

Instead of respect for nature and respect for the Creator of all those things man shows more interest to the highly perishable idols presented on television and more and more on the internet, which brings totally new sorts of idols in the living room. All those living according to flesh, often forget that they too, like anybody else, are going to die, but if in spirit they kill the deeds of the body, and that they have much better prospects. For those who live in the spirit can find real intense worthwhile life.

Part of our problem with this issue is that our desires have been made to seem like needs. If we began each day with a focus on Jesus Christ, many of those things we think are “needs” would be shown to be desires. {June 8 – What I Really Need}

Christ Jesus is the man of flesh and blood who gave the world an example how to live according to the will of the Only One God, Whom we should consider the Most High and the Most Valuable. Jesus knew he could not do anything without God. Jesus never did his own will but always wanted to do the Will of God.  Today most consider God a flaw or useless invention.

Lots of people, having all those modern gadgets still do not feel happy. Having so many things they do not yet feel satisfied. They still have a hunger …

They are starving for the real better thing which they do not seem to see by the mist of consumerism. Lots of people are running into problems when they work so hard to take care of all their desires for material things, that they forget to spend more time to build up good relations.

Most people do not see or forget about what they really need.

Bob James thinks about a strong relationship with Jesus Christ, but seems to forget an even more important relationship, namely that with the heavenly Father of Jesus, the Only One True God.

This world needs to find the way back to God. It has lost connection with the Creator. The world has become strayed. We have to take care we become not astray by the temptations around us.

Keep your eyes on Jesus and as such find the Way to God and the way to God’s Kingdom.

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Preceding articles:

Lonely in the crowd

Misleading world, stress, technique, superficiality, past, future and positivism

Less… is still enough

Less for more

Contentment: The five senses

How to Find the Meaning of Life and Reach a State of Peace

See the conquest and believe that we can gain the victory

The Cares of Life

The natural beauties of life

Engagement in an actual two-way conversation with your deities

Just be yourself…

A Snippet of Advice on Cultural Analysis

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Find additional literature:

  1. Capitalism
  2. Increasing wealth gap of immense proportions in the Capitalist World
  3. Classes of people and Cronyism
  4. Uncertainty, shame and no time for vacillation
  5. Because men choose to go their own way
  6. Welfare state and Poverty in Flanders #9 Consumption
  7. A risk taking society
  8. What IF you’re only driven by stress?
  9. Ecological economics in the stomach #2 Resources
  10. How do you keep people from stealing your joy?
  11. 2014 Social contacts
  12. Justififiable anger or just anarchism
  13. Ability for a community to come back from a crisis
  14. Green Claims in Europe
  15. Greenpeace demands scale up of ecological farming
  16. Happy International Happiness Day!
  17. Being Religious and Spiritual 1 Immateriality and Spiritual experience
  18. Being Religious and Spiritual 3 Philosophers, Avicennism and the spiritual
  19. Being Religious and Spiritual 8 Spiritual, Mystic and not or well religious
  20. Looking for True Spirituality 2 Not restricted to an elite
  21. How long to wait before bringing religiousness and spirituality in practice
  22. Sharing thoughts and philosophical writings
  23. Lovers of God, seekers and lovers of truth
  24. Fools despise wisdom and instruction
  25. In a world which knows no peace sharing blessed hope
  26. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places
  27. Cleanliness and worrying or not about purity
  28. Cognizance at the doorstep or at the internet socket
  29. Jehovah steep rock and fortress, source of insight
  30. Perishable non theologians daring to go out to preach
  31. Bringing Good News into the world
  32. How should we preach?
  33. Thanksgiving wisdom: Why gratitude is good for your health
  34. Food as a Therapeutic Aid
  35. Remember there’s a light in the next day
  36. It is a free will choice
  37. To know Christ is filling life with meaning
  38. Heed of the Saviour
  39. Songs in the night Worship God only
  40. Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked

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12 Comments

Filed under Economical affairs, Lifestyle, Spiritual affairs

What is the truth asked also Pontius Pilate

In history there have been several moments that people wondered what really happened or what was really the truth.

Christ before Pontius Pilate, Mihály Munkácsy,...

Christ before Pontius Pilate, Mihály Munkácsy, 1881 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The coming days we also think about a man who was presented with a dilemma. The coming days we think about a man who wanted to come the world a truth for which they had to be very careful. All people had to think seriously of what they wanted to belief and to do. Today about this, nothing has changed yet. The Nazarene his message should still ring in our ears. But about this man it was also said he was or is a king (king of Israel), and that made many anxious or even annoyed, having some one standing in their way. How was the world to cope with this man who said he was the son of God and the one sent to show the world the Way to God?

At the time when this son of man lived there where none who made him to a god, but today many have made him to their god. Though this man told all around him he could not do anything without his heavenly Father Who is greater than him. He always spoke about his heavenly Father being the God of Abraham and also being his God, to Whom he prayed and to Whom we also should pray.

It was questioned by many if what this Nazarene man was telling could be true. the temple servants thought it could not be true and because of him saying he was the son of God by whom the heavenly Father worked in him they sought the more to kill him, because he not only brake the Sabbath, but also called God his own Father, making according to them, himself equal with God. They did not think he said he was God, but thought he considered him equal with God. Therefore Jesus reacted unto them, making it clear he never would think himself equal with or the same as God. He also wanted to assure them he could do nothing of himself. Though him mentioning that he knew that the Father loved him as Son, was not liked by them either. Worse they heard this Nazarene telling folks that he would be able to give life to whom he will.  This was much more than one step too far.

Joh 5:17-24 MKJV  But Jesus answered them, My Father works until now, and I work.  (18)  Then, because of this, the Jews sought the more to kill Him, because He not only had broken the sabbath, but also said that God was His father, making Himself equal with God.  (19)  Then Jesus answered and said to them, Truly, truly, I say to you, The Son can do nothing of Himself but what He sees the Father do. For whatever things He does, these also the Son does likewise.  (20)  For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all the things that He Himself does. And He will show Him greater works than these, so that you may marvel.  (21)  For as the Father raises the dead and makes alive, even so the Son of Man makes alive whomever He wills.  (22)  For the Father judges no man, but has committed all judgment to the Son,  (23)  so that all should honor the Son, even as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him.  (24)  Truly, truly, I say to you, He who hears My Word and believes on Him who sent Me has everlasting life and shall not come into condemnation, but has passed from death to life.

Joh 14:28-31 MKJV  You have heard how I said to you, I go away and I am coming to you again. If you loved Me, you would rejoice because I said, I go to the Father, for My Father is greater than I.  (29)  And now I have told you before it happens, so that when it happens you might believe.  (30)  I shall no longer speak many things with you, for the ruler of this world comes, and he has nothing in Me.  (31)  But that the world may know that I love the Father, and as the Father has given Me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go away from here.

But when he was brought in front of the high priest who asked Jesus of his disciples, and of his teaching, he answered him that he had spoken openly to the world. The truth was that Jeshua (how he was really called) ever taught in synagogues, and in the temple, where the Jews always came together; and in secret spoke he nothing.  Jeshua was not afraid to say what he thought and what he found to be the truth. He also asked others always to tell the truth. Jeshua never hid something so he was surprised they asked him because he knew they knew the things which he said.  Annas sent him bound unto Caiaphas the high priest and they lead Jesus from Caiaphas into the Praetorium: and it was early; and they themselves entered not into the Praetorium, that they might not be defiled, but might eat the passover.  Pontius Pilate wondered about the accusation brought against this man.  They answered and said unto him,

“If this man were not an evildoer, we should not have delivered him up unto thee.”

Pilate asked them to judge Jeshua (Jesus) according to their law, but they escaped having blood on their hand by throwing it into his hands, saying that it is not lawful for them to put any man to death. Asking Jesus if he was the King of the Jews Jesus did not deny it but answered with a question, not making it easier for Pilate. After Pilate asked if Jesus considered Pilate a Jew and what Jesus had done, Jesus answered that his kingdom is not of this world.  Pilate asked him to be a king then, to which Jesus answered that he said that he is a king, and confirmed that he was born to his end and to this end he had come into the world, that he should bear witness unto the truth. but he also added that every one that is of the truth had to hear his voice.  Pilate asked him

What is truth?

Joh 18:33-38 MKJV  Then Pilate entered into the praetorium again and called Jesus and said to him, Are you the king of the Jews?  (34)  Jesus answered him, Do you say this thing of yourself, or did others say it to you about Me?  (35)  Pilate answered, Am I a Jew? Your own nation and the chief priests have delivered you to me. What have you done?  (36)  Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would fight so that I might not be delivered to the Jews. But now My kingdom is not from here.  (37)  Pilate then said to Him, Are you a king then? Jesus answered, You say it that I am a king. To this end I was born, and for this cause I came into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.  (38)  Pilate said to Him, What is truth? And when he had said this, he went out again to the Jews and said to them, I find no fault in him.

Finding no crime in this Nazarene man, Pilate knew the Jews had a custom, that he should release unto them one at the passover. But not as he would have thought the people to answer, to let the man free, the crowd shouted to have the criminal be freed, the one who had robbed also some of them.

Joh 18:39-40 MKJV  But you have a custom that I should release one to you at the Passover. Then do you desire that I release to you the king of the Jews?  (40)  Then they all cried again, saying, Not this man, but Barabbas! But Barabbas was a robber.

Tim Cloyd reads this as Pilate being actually genuinely confused. We also do think that Pilate has heard already many things about the man from Nazareth going through Galilee telling stories and doing wonderful things. The news must have come to his ears as well. Now, at last, he sees the man in real life and wants to know what truth really is.

Truth is not a part of the metric that he is familiar with in making leadership choices and if Jesus is a king this mode of thought makes no sense to Pilate. His leadership model is only one of self interest – expediency or of a kind of utilitarianism.

writes Cloyd and continues:

 “The greatest good for the greatest number” or the good or truth is whatever promotes his interest or cause.

Jesus is speaking truth to earthly power. It is an ethic that looks at things, actions, and choices as true or untrue, good or bad in and of themselves. It is a radical and dangerous way to regard the world in terms of earthly power and decision making.

Today lots of people run away with the truth, they just make a joke of it. Not many are really interested in telling the truth or keeping to the truth. Many also do not mind their relationships being build on dreams and lies. Many also want to use their fantasy words to lure others in their nets. People who tell the truth and point them out to the ethics to which we should keep are not liked, like Jesus was not liked for telling the truth and for showing their crooked way of thinking and misleading others. today we can find many who make it a sport of misleading others. It has become big business.

Many or most of our leaders, CEOs, and politicians are more likely than not it seems to me to be familiar with the leadership ethic of Pontius Pilate. As a leader you are likely to be confronted with demands from friends, board members, shareholders, or other constituencies that pressure you to make decisions that may be popular and wrong, but may be justified by expediency or utility. {The Leadership Ethic of Pontius Pilate – Expediency and Utility}

Think of the CEO asked to kick business back to powerful friends or bosses. Choosing not to do what is asked would be unpopular, but right. The consequences of not doing what was asked would in most cases be bad for that CEO’s career, his family, etc. The ire of scorned friends or others in power could lead to rumors or the release of damaging partial or (dis) information that could harm a CEO who made a decision not to do the wrong thing based on truth and not to agree based on expediency or utility. {The Leadership Ethic of Pontius Pilate – Expediency and Utility}

Liberal arts colleges teach students to reflect on such issues. They allow for both the assertion of truth and for the question “what is truth?” but they teach students no matter their faith tradition that there are better and worse ways to live a life. {The Leadership Ethic of Pontius Pilate – Expediency and Utility}

It is a reality of the day that we do not see many struggling with what is real or with what is the truth. It would be better if more people took Pilate in mind and got to see the problem and the ethic of Pilate, which still troubles the world today.

We also do hope more people come to hear what Tim Cloyd means just as you hear what Jesus means.

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  • “I go to prepare a place for you.” (christianity201.wordpress.com)
    Some will imagine Jesus as a Master renovator, but that is not really what is happening here. As one Bible scholar points out, Jesus “goes” and His journey begins at the cross. It is there that the preparations begin. It is there that we find, not the Master Renovator, but the Master Redeemer. There is wood and there are nails, but this project is like nothing Mike Holmes has ever tackled. This is not about Jesus making the afterlife fit for us, but about Jesus making us fit for eternal life with God. It is about Jesus dying on the cross so that we could live with God in His home.
  • Lord, Have Mercy Upon Us (atimetoshare.wordpress.com)
  • ‘Christian Blod Won’t Wash Off’: Ralph Peters Just Called Obama the Reincarnation of ‘Pontius Pilate’ (girlsjustwannahaveguns.com)
    Ralph Peters was on Fox News this morning and really made the case that Christian civilization is being wiped off the map by the Islamo-Nazis in the Middle East, saying this is indeed a holocaust and our president is doing nothing. He then called Obama a reincarnation of Pontius Pilate washing his hands, but he said this blood is not coming off:
  • Opinions Are Not Always the Truth (psalmsunday.blogspot.com)
    We should always seek the truth in any disagreement.  Sometimes that truth might lie somewhere between two disagreeing parties and successful resolution can bring them to a happy meeting point.   At other times both sides might cling tenaciously to what they see as the truth.  This is the point when the decision has to be made whether the disagreement is worth the conflict.
  • Ralph Peters: Obama is the reincarnation of Pontius Pilate but Christian blood NOT going to wash off (therightscoop.com)
    He is the reincarnation of Pontius Pilate washing his hands, but this blood is not coming off.
  • VIDEO: True Blood’s Bill Condemns Jesus in the Trailer for Bill O’Reilly’s Killing Jesus (tvguide.com)
    Killing Jesus is based on the book of the same name by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard and chronicles the life and death of Jesus Christ. Haaz Sleiman plays Jesus, Kelsey Grammer wears the crown of King Herod the Great and True Blood‘s Stephen Moyer portrays Pontius Pilate.
  • Reflective Moment ‘Precise Statement’ (mylordmyfriend.com)
    Which we build our faith on, John goes  further to make The Precise statement, to help his readers of the truth of Christ Jesus’ identity, John organizes his entire Gospel around eight miracles. Theses miracles are signs and proof and only God could perform these miracles. And only Christ Jesus the God-man, could die as the Perfect Sacrifice, for the sins of the world.
  • What Bethlehem Taught About Marketing Jesus (averageus.com)
    Jesus wouldn’t need tweaking. He would never be re-branded. He didn’t come in multiple, market-sensitive packages.

    He just came. He did His Father’s will. And He trained a few followers to tell the world about it.

  • The Sacrifice of Jesus Christ (dailybibleplan.com)
    Jesus sacrifice for us involved a lot more than just His crucifixion and death.

    In today’s key passage, Jesus tells His disciples about the future.  He speaks of the end times and about His return to glory, and tells His disciples (and us) not to be deceived by false teachers.

  • The Scripture Holds True Forever (planet.infowars.com)
    It was winter, and the Festival of the Dedication of the Temple was being celebrated in Jerusalem. Jesus was walking in Solomon’s Porch in the Temple, when the people gathered around him and asked, “How long are you going to keep us in suspense? Tell us the plain truth: are you the Messiah?”

    Jesus answered, “I have already told you, but you would not believe me. The deeds I do by my Father’s authority speak on my behalf; but you will not believe, for you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never die. No one can snatch them away from me. What my Father has given me is greater[a] than everything, and no one can snatch them away from the Father’s care. The Father and I are one.”

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Lifestyle, Religieuze aangelegenheden, Spiritual affairs

Gender connections

Jennifer L Thorpe believes that in order to find true self, we must dig deep into the darkness in order to find the warm, loving light. {Where We Need To Be}

Several people may be lost in the dark and not find themselves any more. It is not that their minds and egos battle with their self, their true being, but because our society has liked to put labels onto them. Many encounter difficulties because they may have friends not liked by others or others seeing more in their relationship than there has to be.

How often our society does want to see men in such roles and women in other roles. Today there is still a gender connection with many professions. But there is also still an idea about how men or women may have an connection with other people, from the same or from the other sex. Still too many  people do want to look for other things behind a close relationship. This makes that people can become very lonely and isolated.

Alysta Lim recognises this this concept society has about masculinity, femininity, and gender roles. she compares it to

mass-produced clothes of the same size and style. It does not matter if they do not fit you. One’s own preference is of little consequence. People give us this pair of shoes, tell us to wear it, and like it. In this subject, at least, man and woman truly are equals. {On Gender Roles}

2004 Chery Fulwin at Shanghai Shi, Shanghai, C...

Woman as sex object or to lure man in buying things. – 2004 Chery Fulwin at Shanghai Shi, Shanghai, China. (Flickr set : Autoshow 2004) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Getting all labels on our ‘being’ this also puts pressure on us and makes us sometimes weary or afraid to go deeper in a relationship because it may be misunderstood. The media do not help much either. They present their twisted idea about relationships as normal standard, by which those who have other standards or a different upbringing at home, are confronted with questions which they should not have. The world of film and television is presented as they world we all should live in and should live accordingly.  But in that world everything seems to turn around sex and violence.

Everything what seems to be sweet is labelled as old fashioned and not strong or not mature.

Alysta Lim rightly dares to ask:

Why do we have to be certain things? Wouldn’t it be better to be ourselves than to be a ‘man’ or a ‘woman’?  {On Gender Roles}

Graham and Megan attempt to reinforce their ge...

Graham and Megan attempt to reinforce their gender roles through performing traditional female tasks. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

She forgets that by the contemporary society it is not liked to see people who are wanting to be their own. It is considered not wanting to be part of this or their society. It is considered that that person who wants to be his or her own does not want to adapt to society. They consider them weak, but they should know those who want to stay and can stay their own are just the strong ones in society.

Those who do not do foolish actions and do not cry like so many who demonstrate a football madness, (now) when there are world-championships.

Why should men go out working and women stay in the house to do only household work for their own?

who’s to say that men can’t take care of babies and women can’t work?  {On Gender Roles}

At moments everybody may do like crazy, cheering for the winning team. But when somebody becomes to enthusiastic about an exhibition or a theatre performance, he or she would be considered as a ‘noob’, a ‘fool’ or an ‘idiot’ and not somebody to talk to or to have much connection with.

People who would like to tackle more serious subjects have become cast out in this world. Lots of young people do chat a lot but it is all about ‘chit–chat’, not serious talk with shortened words or signs, in such a way that a lot of them even can not talk and write reasonably well any more.

Though most of them dream about the ideal figure they want to be at the most high post they can get. They all dream of high positions which will get them richness, lots of things to play with.

English: Roundhouse wipers having lunch in the...

Broken drams. The Hard life of women. – Roundhouse wipers having lunch in their rest room, Chicago & North Western Railroad, Clinton, Iowa, April 1943. Jack Delano, photographer Reproduction from color slide LC-USW361-644 LC-DIG-fsac-1a34808, FSA/OWI Collection http://myloc.gov/Exhibitions/boundforglory/ExhibitionItems/ExhibitObjects/WomenWorkersEmployedasWipers.aspx (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Through the years an image is given to all of us, and it seems it is still there hanging in the air. Lots of people still have their picture of the perfect man or woman. By many it has become a chain or like the young Freuddwyn blogwriter notices but would like to see herself it to be something which can be useful

good when used as a handbook, not a prison. We are at heart a man, a woman, a child, and something greater we can’t hope to describe. Why should we strive only for one and disregard the rest, when all of them make us what we are now? {On Gender Roles}

Because of the pressure in schools and at work and still the patriarchal society, women are less self-assured than men. To be able to succeed they need more confidence, because the competence may well be there, but often women have to prove themselves twice more than men.

Katty Kay and Claire Shipman do find that for years women have kept their heads down and played by the rules. Many women believed in fairy tales and were sure that with enough hard work, their natural talents would be recognized and rewarded. They did not count on the many magazines which did everything to present women more as a sex object instead of giving more attention on what women really could manage. all the paparazzi material pushed the serious woman under water and tried the world to believe those who made it in life would be those who enjoy women and show off with all material wealth and all sorts of women they can get. Women were and are presented as a trophy you can use to show off to others and show your success in life.

Friends at Columbia University.American ladies may think they have made undeniable progress. In the United States, women now earn more college and graduate degrees than men do. They make up half the workforce, and they are closing the gap in middle management. Half a dozen global studies, conducted by the likes of Goldman Sachs and Columbia University, have found that companies employing women in large numbers outperform their competitors on every measure of profitability.

Our competence has never been more obvious. Those who closely follow society’s shifting values see the world moving in a female direction. {The Confidence Gap; Evidence shows that women are less self-assured than men—and that to succeed, confidence matters as much as competence. Here’s why, and what to do about it.}

Katty Kay and Claire Shipman write, being aware that as they’ve worked, ever diligent, the men around women have continued to get promoted faster and be paid more.

The statistics are well known: at the top, especially, women are nearly absent, and our numbers are barely increasing. Half a century since women first forced open the boardroom doors, our career trajectories still look very different from men’s. {The Confidence Gap}

In writings of some younger blogger we may find a positive change. Up until now, according to us, women did either try to get on the top the wrong way, thinking they had to crush men, and where willing ‘to go over dead bodies’. They kept showing an acute lack of confidence of what they had in themselves to prove themselves to the others.

spick and span

spick and span (Photo credit: recombiner)

Bloggers like Jennifer L ThorpeCat Lady Its fruitcake weather and the writer of Freuddwyn show with others that they perhaps can look again at the Universe to learn more about themselves {That Pale Blue Dot}, and that they have come to believe that they should not think anyone is better than anyone else, or that anyone is further along or behind.

They may wonder what they are, compared to the greatness of the cosmos in which they have to bring up patience which is limited as with most things. May we believe we in them can come to see a new generation who starts believing that they have all the time in the world to grow, make or break, heal and recover?

All are where they need to be. It’s an individual path at first. Then, it becomes unity. But, each of us develop at our own speed and per our needs. There is not timing or deadline to reach that place we are all going. We all end up there in due time. {Where We Need To Be}

We amount to little more than a speck, but here’s the twist: each of us is a universe in ourselves, and together we make up a world. We make up a home. {That Pale Blue Dot}

It would be nice to come to see again a generation who is willing to accept their limits, not eager to compete with others just to be better, but more willing to go beyond their own limits and trying to grow themselves notwithstanding what other might do or think.

When they start stepping over the gender issue and consider it a priority to know their own limits, being it more important than knowing the enemy’s, that would mean that boundaries would actually help them to grow and become again a generation to bring a turning point.

Alysta Lim, who may bring with her Deviant art some fresh innocent positivist drawings, got to accept that nobody can be perfect!

We shall never be, no matter how hard we try, for the simple reason that we are human. {On Gender Roles}

There are always things we can’t do. So why bother trying if there is no chance of moving forward? Sometimes it is good to know that there are walls, if only to know when to stop and which way to go when it becomes impossible to move forward. After all, life is always a bunch of wrong turns and detours…it is never a straight line. {Our Limit}

Being a man or a woman, both will have to face obstacles, one way or the other. Both shall also find they need other people on their way, to accompany them or to give them a little help or encouragement to continue their way.

Already being aware that nobody can be perfect and that each of us has to try to make it for himself or herself, an intern acceptance of the self can bring more personal growth in the right direction and offer more success. Until now many women, despite all their progress, are still woefully underrepresented at the highest levels. but this seems to going to change. Looking at the attitude of the twenties we may have hopes they will be able to put away the materialism of the previous generations and will start fining more connection to real friends and to nature. Having them becoming aware that all those social media friends are not exactly ‘real friends’ they need in life or will help their life forwards, they will come to understand it is more important to build up right connection in a honest way and by having real friends around them in their own surroundings.

In 2011, half the female respondents to a review about gender position, reported self-doubt about their job performance and careers, compared with fewer than a third of male respondents. We can say that because they were less confident in general in their abilities this led them not to want to pursue future opportunities or wanted them to gain higher positions by getting rid of their male ‘contestants’. In case we can see a new generation, early in the twenties, finding some assurance what they themselves present has its own value, we might find them going into to market for the person they are really,offering honest work, to take or to leave.

With the encouragement they can get from friends and people around them they shall not have to come to think that they are not totally imcompetent in the area, so they would not going to go for it. Today having so many people just standing on their own they do not have to be afraid to fall or to be afraid to end up going into less competitive fields, like human resources or marketing, because they will have found out it is much more important to do what you really want to do, and to enjoy doing what you do. This shall also give again some ‘innocence’ and ‘purity’ in their work, which shall attract the right persons to what they do and to recognise their work.

At the end this would be much more satisfying than those who only have the money-letters in front of their eyes;

Perhaps many may say

 “They don’t go for finance, investment banks, or senior-track faculty positions.” {The Confidence Gap}

but their confidence in what they want to do, shall bring them much further in a life, full of happiness, knowing that having a cosy nice home or lovely family is more important than having all the wealth of the world.

When the woman is willing to see herself not as an other or competitive gender to male, or shall not be willing to just live quietly by the still discrimination of gender, she shall be able to come more forwards and be come more recognised for what she is able to achieve, without others thinking there where some loopholes or something was needed for her to get so far.

Looking at certain blogs of young people we may see an advancement seeing some young women who are not willing to conform to this gender discrimination, trying to scramble on ways to please men, to do it the ‘right’ societal female way.

Living in an Asian country the (female) writer of Purity opulence writes

Females should be much more dignified than men, we bear children for the world, we did that, we did this. In the eyes of traditional beliefs, everything that females have done is considered rightfully legitimate and a strong must. This disgusting trend has led to many women trying to throw away their dignity, distinctly or indistinguishably. {Purity opulence: to love is to respect}

The previous ten years we have seen kids making themselves up like they would be adults. Parents let them dress like adults in mini format. Parents also demanded to get them ‘diploma’s for alls sort things’. It became even so ridiculous that some kindergarten schools are already giving a ‘diploma’ (not a certificate) for the toddlers at the end of the school-year. Our society recently has done everything to have people to impress others. And men had to be on the top, doing interesting ‘male’ jobs or they were not worthy for our society. And women trying to get some ‘male jobs’ where considered ‘wrong girls’, of the wrong sex, or ‘strebers’.

Purity of opulence remarks:

When women are neglected or toyed by men, the first thing that comes in mind is regret. But just a step before it, why do you have to do everything to impress men? The point that I’m trying to make here is to convey the message that, even in the modern society, women are regarded as shameless, can-do-everything-for-anything person. You can’t completely blame the guys. It is you, these kind of women, who sell themselves by sticking and seducing guys, trying to be as girly or demure so that there will be some forces of attraction. Please? Dignity? Therefore, there is this vicious cycle that’s really vicious and irreversible. Ancient society (oppression) –> girls conform –> men think girls are easy creatures –> discrimination continues. {Purity opulence: to love is to respect}

Age-of-Brass Triumph-of-Womans-Rights 1869

Age-of-Brass Triumph-of-Womans-Rights 1869 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It looks at last we have come to see the seed for a new generation, where women are willing to see themselves as women who can do their own thing and have their own value, which should not be less nor more than the value of men.

We may have come to a generation which is well aware that

Gender is how we feel and how we express our selves.

and which is willing to give a voice to their own feeling and not any-more want to pretend.

If my sex is the same as my gender, then people can and will say
“you were born a girl so you must act like one.”
I know this because people who feel that sex and gender are the same do say this. But if sex and gender are different, then people are more accepting of those of us who have a gender that doesn’t match our sex. This is why sex and gender must be seen as separate. {Sex and Gender}

It is nice to find again people who want to be themselves.

The dancer Britany Elizabet writes

The very selfish conclusion that I came to is that I am not willing to sacrifice that much of myself anymore. I have already been there. I did it with dance team, I did it with a relationships. I played an unnatural role that did not fit me. I pretended to be the idle girlfriend who stayed at home, doted hand and foot on her boyfriend (like, literally, spent time cracking his toes and massaging his athlete-foot infested feet), put aside her entire life for him. It didn’t work for me and actually turned out to be quite a disaster/caused me immense anxiety issues. I tried to be the popular girl, who involved herself in trivial affairs, such as reality television and gossip magazines, got her nails done every other week, and shopped on her free time. That was too expensive of an endeavor for a very Dutch person like myself.

So, as my existential crisis rounds out and my Victorian literature class comes to an end, I am comforted by the fact that I am just me. I don’t fit any definite, prescribed gender roles (as someone one told me, “you are kind of like a guy”), and I don’t really care to fit any of those specific gender roles either, because as seen by our characters, it is unnatural, it doesn’t work, and most likely, you will end up in the madhouse. {Gender Roles & Self Sacrifice}

In the light of this:

So women, women and women, you want people to respect you as a woman, but you just keep on doing things that propels people to be more discriminating! We have to love ourselves, love for what we are and not change just for the purpose of trying to please this or that.

Hopefully, in a matter of decades, women can rise to be equal with men. I think, you, have heard of the word, “tigress”. {Purity opulence: to love is to respect}

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Other articles related to the subject:

  1. The only times you are allowed to be sexist
    Here are a list of times when it is ok to be sexist….
  2. Real Women Have Curves
    Why do we use a competitive term to describe women? There is curvy vs non curve, real vs fake, good vs, bad… All of which are used to qualify a woman, none of which actually matter. (Sorry fellas you are still entitled to your good girl). Maybe one day we will live in a society where the ranking of women as objects would sound like a ridiculous idea, until then here is my two cent on the matter of the “real women with curves”
  3. how women experience clothing
    “You are what you wear”, we’ve all heard this before. The clothes that you choose to wear send a message out to those around you. What you wear affects others perception of you and also affects how you feel. This sounds agreeable right? Of course it does. It happens all the time in the movies.
    +
    I am not whole. I am a divided self. Split. I have two ways of seeing myself. I see myself and I see myself being seen. I am a subject and simultaneously I see myself as an object. I assume the position of the other (the person who sees me) and stand away from my physical self. I try to gain a better understanding of myself through my objectification. The divided self is not particular to how women experience themselves. We all experience ourselves through a split self to build our self and identity. I am not one but two perspectives. The perspective of myself and the other. Who is the other? Whose perspective am I using to judge myself? It isn’t mine. Though it becomes mine.
  4. Mars needs women (and so does the US Congress)
    To lessen the gender gap in political participation and engagement, it is more clear than ever that we need to have more women in political office– an improving trend that has very much slowed.  The problem is not voters, the problem is that we simply need more women running for office.  And that problem is that not enough women want to run for office.  That’s what we really need to change.
  5. Discussion Questions: Interviewing on Race, Class, and Gender
    listening for female same-sex desire in Laura’s interview cannot be only about searching for signs of lesbian identity. It must also take into account the intersection of sexuality with class, race, religious practice, age, and other factors
  6. Finding privilege: class, gender and social justice tourism
    Grow your hair or don’t grow it. Wear a dress or don’t wear one. Play with trains or play with dolls. Pick your pronouns, pick your friends, but if you are not born female in a hierarchy which positions women as less than men, you will never be in a position to experience what gender is and does to women and girls.
    +
    Like wealth and poverty, gender is a hierarchy which allows for gradations of suffering. Due to gender some women are denied an education, denied the right to vote or drive, denied the right to orgasm, denied the right to control their fertility and denied the right to withhold sexual consent. I am not one of these women. This does not make it fair or reasonable for me to trivialize what gender does, just because I can. I can let my sons wear dresses (and I do). I can challenge gender stereotypes in my writing and actions (and I do). I can sit with my five-year-old, drawing pictures of him as Queen Elsa, and we can both delight at the thought of a world in which he wouldn’t be made fun of at school for wanting long hair (which he is). I can do all of these things but it does not give me the right to reduce something which ruins the lives of billions of human beings to a fatuous matter of choice.
  7. Vulnerability and Mindfulness
    I remembered what I had been told time and time again, that to look at another person in the eyes is a momentary glimpse into the mirror of their soul while simultaneously reflecting back into mine. It is a time of intimacy when the world stops for a brief instant when you realize that you are not really separate beings at all, but simply different points of view to the one being that some may call God.
  8. “The Criminal Justice System operates free of prejudice and discrimination.”
    In the modern era of female emancipation and human rights there should be no doubt if our justice system still stays prejudice in the area of gender differences and see us all as equals when we face the law. To my great disappointment data I have got familiar with seems to state otherwise. Is it the fault of the male culture overpowering all the main government bodies and disciplines during all these years of patriarchal control? Is it that ‘macho’ practice became institutionalised and implemented as a normal acceptable social norm of behaviour? If we consider how our law has historically criminalised aggression – how certain types of anti-social conduct have been targeted, while other have been either formally or practically left unregulated, we can see a distinction according to gender. Does it mean that such law is reflecting only male patterns of behaviour and exclusively accepts only male standards of adequate conduct? Let’s take a closer look.
    +
  9. “Fight for your rights: Masculinism as a response against inequality.”
  10. Fathers should stop babysitting
    Sandberg discusses many issues in her book (obviously, because…it’s a book..) and one of the topics I would like to make reference to today, which struck a chord in my heart, is the topic which deals with socialising men to the concept of gender equality and feminism.
    +
    I feel most men personify feminism, turn it into the new f word and give it an unjustifiable persona of a women who fears personal grooming and deodorant. And for this reason, most men, not just those in my circle, are left in the dark because as soon as they have an opinion about it, it gets shut down faster than Thandi’s dream of growing up to become a F1 racer.
    +
    With initiatives such as www.menengage.org and www.unfpa.org socialising men and young boys, I believe gender equality will no longer be a fable, but a real thing. It will be something effective and in the beginning maybe admirable but hopefully in the end, a norm.
  11. Getting Involved with Gender and Enterprise Network
    complicating it intersectionally, and challenging the heteronormative bias of research as it currently exists.
  12. Celebrating diversity by looking the same?
    A lot of schools will have a boys and girls uniform or if you are at a single sex school, more than likely you have one uniform option.
    +
    Uniform does another powerful thing – it defines gender. Go to any public toilet and you will know the sign for female is triangle. Last time I checked I wasn’t a triangle. But I know instinctively that this is the door I choose. It suggests that to be female you must be wearing a dress/skirt which creates the triangle effect. If you are a guy you don’t get to wear a triangle – even if you want to.
  13. Gender Roles & Self Sacrifice
    the Victorian’s fascination with trying to categorize everything caused them to strive to create distinct categories of what is male and what is female.
    +
    human nature can never be defined into two distinct categories. As seen in Victorian literature and Victorian society, it is when we try to fulfill these extreme, unnatural gender roles that people’s psyches breakdown and they go into a perpetual “madness” (and probably get sent to the looney bin, or as the rich people call it, “The Grove”).
  14. Gender roles and inequality
    Gender roles start very early in life where it is defined by the  behaviors and attitudes expected from either sex. Obviously, there are physical and biological differences between males and females and a person’s sexuality also comes into play. But unlike these differences, gender roles are also imposed through external social influences. Little girls are expected to play with dolls while boys are expected to play with cars or action figures. We are all guilty of this.
  15. Pink and Blue
    Apparently, when I was three years old, I informed my parents that “Pink is a girl’s color. Blue is for boys.” My parents, recovering hippies that they were, shared a perplexed glance as if to ask each other, Are you responsible for teaching her that genderist smut?! When neither owned up to it, they decided it must have been the evils of society – no matter how careful they were to shroud me from such ideas, societal roles and expectations were just too insidious.
    +
    What would happen if we accepted each other as readily as we accepted societal norms? be-who-you-areHow would we behave if we did what we knew to be good, instead of what we were told was right? I have wracked my brain to come up with a non-cheesey way to say it, but I can’t, so I’ll just say it, cheese and all: Bare your face, and while you’re at it, bare your soul; speak your truth, and recognize that truth is relative and malleable; don’t worry if you don’t fit society’s idea of you, or even your own idea of you – a person is more than an idea.
  16. Equality Or Feminism ?
    What some misogynists do not understand is that feminism exists not just to fight for equal rights for women on political, social and economic grounds but most importantly to fight for equal rights for women who are in countries that are dominated by mostly men; Women who are helpless and are defined by their fathers and/or husbands and male figures in power, women who are seen as a means to an end. Feminists, true feminists are fighting for humanity as is defined by the present society. Do not take everything regarding equality as a feminist slur, that is pure ignorance. Feminists campaign for women’s rights in voting, property, job securing, contract laws etc. They do this all the while promoting integrity, self-respect, self-worth, and autonomy for women. They work to protect young girls from sexual assault, sexual harassment, domestic violence and any form of discrimination towards women.
  17. Ladies: It’s time for an Evaluation It’s time to look in the mirror – the mirror of history – and reassess the female behavior.
    Throughout history, women have always been seen as a symbol of purity, the representation of goodness, and beauty – the incorruptible creature.
  18. On Gender Roles
    As a child, I have a concept of what I want to be, and it wasn’t a lady. I liked Power Rangers more than Barbie, wore jeans everywhere, continued to climb trees and fight with boys until they suddenly had growth spurts and expanded to twice my size.
  19. Gender roles Seven feet tall, fixated facial features and an ice cream cone for a body.
    That was my figure yesterday as I stood in the frozen yogurt shop where I work dressed as the mascot to take pictures with kids at a party.
  20. Whisper BS Part 1: Body Shaming
    I very recently downloaded the app called “Whisper” and I’ve been collecting some things that have been horrifying me. Whisper is an app where users are completely anonymous and can post all their secrets and fears without repercussions.
  21. It’s A Man’s World (Apparently) I am getting tired of having female characters in movies existing primarily for the bad guy to capture/hurt/kill them so the main man is weakened. Just so he can ‘avenge’ her or whatever.
  22. Oh, Boys Will Be Boys
    My Psychology of Gender (which, by the way, was a phenomenal class – or maybe it was just my way awesome instructor 😛 – that I think everyone should take regardless of what your college major is, but I digress) professor once shared with my class that she, while raising her son, instilled in him the principle of not hitting anybody whether it be a girl or a boy.
  23. Love nothing.
    Frequently I stand staring at the waters seamless expressions of existence and wonder how persistence even exists in a world of hurt hearts.
  24. The War Against Women in Kenya: Sexual Violence
  25. I Don’t Belong In The Kitchen
  26. Biblical Women Smash the Patriarchy
  27. Smashing Patriarchy: Esther
  28. Decline of The Modern Goddess
  29. Dear Miss Madame : Splitting Chores With Your Man? It’s a Dirty Job!
  30. “Attention Whores”
  31. Think About It
  32. Marriage and a bit of Philosophy
  33. A Marriage is Not Easy to Manage
  34. Japanese issues in “Tokyo Sonata”
  35. A “perverted attack”? A difference of opinion? Or a hill to die on?
  36. It’s OK To Cry…

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  • Genre Talk: Boys and Girls (paranormalunbound.com)
    On my author blog, I featured an urban fantasy title by a debut author who respectfully requested, on behalf of her publisher, that her gender not be revealed. In other words, by remaining “gender-neutral” and using only two initials and a last name, she is in essence posing as a guy in order to appeal to a broader readership. I went along with her wishes, of course, but it really made me think.
    +
    I’m kind of outraged, and the more I think about it, the more bothered I am. What does it say about our society, and our industry, if the only way a woman can publish a non-romance title and be accepted by a broad audience of both genders, at least in certain genres, is to pretend to be male or hide behind a “gender-neutral” pen name? By following this marketing rationale, is the publisher being smart, realistic, or perpetuating a cultural stereotype we should be well past?
  • Week Four – Image and the Body (ritviscom.wordpress.com)
    As far as encountering someone who was not distinctly male or female, this experience can be a little jarring. Recently at the Jazz Fest in Downtown Rochester, my boyfriend and I crossed paths with a young lady who may or may not have been born a male. I am an extremely open-minded person and never aim to make anyone feel uncomfortable. With that being said, our society is very black and white when it comes to gender. Media images are flooded with either male or female models, images, visuals, etc. This makes encounters with ambiguous gendered bodies seem out of the ordinary. However, I think with the growing popularity and media attention of actresses like Laverne Cox from Orange is the New Black, we might start to shift in this sentiment!
  • What is anti-genderism? (francoistremblay.wordpress.com)
    When I talk about genderism and anti-genderism, what do I mean exactly? How do they work? Since genderism is extremely common, we should probably start there.First, the building blocks of genderism. The most obvious is hierarchy: gender roles form a hierarchical institution, and therefore every principle relevant to institutions also applies here.
    +
    I know it’s fashionable in left-wing circles to be against gender roles or the gender binary but to support gender. I see no point in that whatsoever, and it’s not clear to me how anyone can cogently be against one but not against the other. All I’ve seen were pathetic attempts at rationalization like “gender is sexy!” or “gender is empowering!”, but that’s nothing different from any other woman-hating rationalization out there, so there’s no point in dwelling on it.
  • Demolish: Gender Roles (wreckingballtothepatriarchy.wordpress.com)
    We can only have an hierarchy of gender if we have genders first. So if we want to rid ourselves of gender oppression, we need to get rid of the gender binary as it exists. Seems simple enough, right? Well a lot of people don’t think so. There is of course the good old argument that God made us this way, which of course is all shot to hell when you look at intersex people (and also when you are an atheist such as myself), but there are also social reasons that some people espouse:
  • Genderism, trans theory and the hostility towards radical feminism. (francoistremblay.wordpress.com)
    The concept of genderism, as used in feminism, is usually defined as the belief that certain behavioral preferences are caused by a person’s sex, in general that one’s gender is the result of one’s sex, and therefore that gender is natural (and even desirable).This stands in stark contrast to the view that gender is a social construct. It is also generally held as being the opposite of feminism, because feminists believe that being of the female sex does not constitute an obligation to take on a gender role which is constructed as inferior and subservient.

    What are the behaviors and roles considered appropriate for one’s sex?

    If you are a Feminist (even a Liberal Feminist or a Fun Feminist), the answer to this should be “There are no behaviors and roles considered appropriate for my sex because Females can be and do anything.”

    There is a lot of nuances in definitions here, but they are not entirely necessary. For example, some include within genderism the belief that there are two genders. But the two genders are an artefact of culture; some culture have three genders or four genders, and really, the exact number is irrelevant: all that matters is that some are seen as superior and some are seen as inferior. Genderism would not magically disappear if we added another gender to the list.

  • Gender and Sexual Diversity (dissidentvoice.org)
    anti-transgender prejudice is so deeply rooted and systemic that it is rarely noticed or even considered. Discussions of anti-transgender prejudice, often amongst individuals never directly impacted, are replete with misunderstanding and misused or ill-defined concepts and terminology.
    +
    I would like to disclaim that “transgender” is an umbrella term for many people who defy mainstream expectations and assumptions regarding gender, and can be used to refer to transsexuals as well as people who are gender nonconforming in other ways — for example, feminine men, masculine women, transfeminine, transmasculine, genderqueers (who do not identify exclusively as either women or men), to name a few. There are many different ways to experience and interpret gender as human beings. And there are also several ways to conceptualize gender.
  • Inspiring Australian Women Tackle Workplace Gender Gap (woman.com.au)
    Australian women today can follow any career path they choose, but social norms and organisational structures do not aid their success. That was the key message from the Women In Business 20:20 panel discussion held this week to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Telstra Business Women’s awards.

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Lifestyle, Social affairs

“Unnoticed”

The world is full of beauty which many people do not see. Many run around hectic going from here to there to earn their living and to earn a lot of worldly treasures. Most of them forget there are things which are much more worth than all the money they would be able to gather in their life.

So many small things may pass by unnoticed. In all the turmoil where do we want to stand and what do we want to do to see and meet the other?
How much do we want to open our arms to those we do not know and those we might know?

Many in this crowded world my feel lonely because they have lost touch with the inner and the outer love.

We should all be thankful for the first gift we received when we were too small to think and to do things on our own. We are here because of the first gift of love. Even in case not, we once born have been fostered and treated out of love.

Oh, so often we miss out on that love. Worse we can feel so lonely, though we see all those people passing by.

Is the loneliness standing in the corner or is it love. Often we are in the other corner because we did not dare enough to take both in our arms and shuffle them as a stack of cards in a life full of expectations of the good instead of being afraid for a world with the bad.

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  • Unnoticed (thefingerprintofmoments.wordpress.com)
    I miss you

    and I’m lonely

    in this house full of people

    and I’m so sad

    I want to puke

  • Unnoticed (hastywords.wordpress.com)

    I got down on my knees

    I grabbed a stick and poked and…

    The grasping bones of a long dead hand

    Trying to escape from a prison

    Someone created for poor Ms. Claire

    Unnoticed and forgotten

    Years ago

  • My Broken Heart Speaks Erika Berrones (thejourneywomenslife.com)

    I’ve embarked on a journey

    One to set me free

    Free from bondage in life’s array of obstacles

    I’ve chosen to face my failures

    Take responsibility for my choices

    Vanquish my fears

  • But it stings, still (kathbra.wordpress.com)
    Drinking alone to dismiss those thoughts I have

    Those thoughts that I have only sometimes

    Because I don’t let them stay all the time

    I guess because I don’t like them as much as they like me

    It’s a loneliness

  • Unnoticed (elephant1234blog.wordpress.com)
    I’ve abused my body, I must confess
    I can barely breathe, now I seek rest
    Yet Lord, I cry have pity on me
    For I am prisoner, desperate to be free

    Release my chains and let me see
    The glory of your majesty
    Hear my cry lord, please don’t ignore
    Don’t cast me aside, for I am yours

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Poetry - Poems, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs