Tag Archives: Mental Health

The roots of mom guilt

Under the pressure to raise successful kids, it’s easy for parents to blame themselves for all of their children’s struggles, writes Amy Paturel in The Washington Post. “Mom guilt” is rooted in the desire for parents to feel control over their child’s livelihood. “With this sort of ‘magical thinking,’ if you’re the cause, then you can be the solution,” says psychotherapist Dana Dorfman. And to some extent, the tendency to search for the cause of our kids’ problems in our own behavior is a good thing — it can help us to become better parents. But it can be self-defeating when it isn’t paired with self-compassion; Shame can harm a parent’s mental health, and even interfere with the parent-child relationship. “You wouldn’t tell your friend she’s responsible for her child’s autism, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or mental health problems,” writes Paturel, “so don’t berate yourself for your children’s maladies.” [The Washington Post]

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A Little Faith: On Becoming a mother during the pandemic.

Kara chats to Helen about becoming a mother during the pandemic.

They discuss the challenges many women have faced over the past year, reflecting on the journey between hospital and home, exploring new identities and different experiences of mental and spiritual health without the usual support many new families receive. We are so grateful for the stories shared by Rosie, Elisabeth, Anna, Crystal, Amanda and Josie. May God continue to bless and guide you on your journeys.

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Garden Notes (1)

Bre Strobel

Garden notes (from a novice):

1) Worried I waited a little too long to get these things planted, but I know better than to not try. If you think you can’t go from shriveling to thriving, just wait. Put those babies in the ground and see what some space, sun, nutrients, water, and time will do.

2) Remember that the pumpkins died TWICE. Once from frost and again from forgetting to water them in a drought. We thought they were done. Look at them! The picture does their bushiness no justice. They are majestic.

3) If you don’t keep redirecting the tomatoes they will grow sideways out of their cage and knock the thing over. Setting that all right will mean breakage for some of that tomato growth. Keep those vines in check routinely for best results.

4) Save some seeds for later. If you plant them all at once…

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Top 9 sustainability practices of nature that you should practice

Top 9 sustainability practices of nature that you should practice – by Godwin Terhemba Ihagh

We may refer to nature as the unseen power that makes all forms of life and natural activities function on Earth. Nature has been handling enormous environmental changes on Earth for about 3.5 billion years; that’s why many environmental experts say that when the Earth faces problematic environmental changes, we should observe and learn how to use nature’s methods/practices to handle such changes.

In order to sustain our mental and emotional health, and have good control over our environment, children, restaurants, homes, hotels, businesses, construction industries, and many other areas of life, we can learn and apply the incredible ways nature has employed in sustaining the variety of life on the Earth, especially in the midst of catastrophic environmental changes.

“top 9 sustainability practices of nature”:

1. Nature’s practice of relying on solar energy:

2. Nature’s practice of being diverse:

3. Nature’s practice of recycling without wasting:

4. Nature’s practice of silence:

5. Nature’s practice of never being in a hurry

6. Nature’s practice of being positive — or not worrying:

7. Nature’s practice of being flexible and fully fit: Being flexible will increase your ability to adapt and survive in any situation.

8. Nature’s practice of being selfless and caring

9. Nature’s practice of not being extravagant

Read more about it: Top 9 sustainability practices of nature that you should practice

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2020 a year of having more idols but also more personal problems

The Spring of 2020 brought something new to the world which made everyone and everything coming to a standstill but brought also many to having psychological problems. At first, it seemed incredible to hear certain churches calling for their members to come to church, even when the governments asked people to avoid contact with many. Some pastors dared to go so far as telling people that if they would become infected with Corona that would be because they had not enough faith. Such saying we can only call “criminal”. Several Christian groups, mainly in Holland wanted people to believe that as faithful people would come to the service they would not be harmed because they would do what God expected from them.

Lots of people got in problem with their mind, having become pulled away from their social contacts by the lockdown. Depression, bipolar episodes, and anxiety attacks were hindermost in the running.

Because depression isn’t often discussed in churches, a great deal of misunderstanding has popped up in this year when there were so many more people with a lot of psychological problems, who could not be helped by medical staff.

We want people to believe that the first step is realising what this disorder isn’t:

“It’s not a character defect, a spiritual disorder or an emotional dysfunction. And chief of all, it’s not a choice.”

Also we want Christians to be aware that it is not, like some Trinitarian preachers wanted their flock to believe

a penalty from God.

When you do not feel well in your skin it is not that God would be punishing you because you would have done something wrong or that you would not have enough faith in Him.

We also must be aware that just because someone seems “happy,” that doesn’t mean they’re healthy or that they really would be happy. Look at the very popular Flemish influencer. Social media seemed to take more people in its ban this year. The advertising flow is drying up, so professional users of social media tell more about their concerns and they seemed for many to provide some good information. After the death of that 21 year old boy more than ever, several influencers came to understand their role in the youthgroups and to realise that good mental health is important.

This way NokNok wants to teach young people that it is normal to not always feel perfect. Staff member Eline De Decker:

“Nobody walks on clouds every day. Sometimes you get up and immediately feel that it is going to be a terrible day. Sometimes you doubt yourself or feel insecure. Or are you stressed or disappointed with friends or family. That is normal.
And that’s all okay. ”

NokNok wants to convey that message clearly and shows young people between the ages of 12 and 16 what they can do to gain more self-confidence, have less stress and go through life as positivo.

Instagram has been around for ten years, and what the app has perhaps achieved best during that period is creating the illusion that users can “work independently” via the platform. Certainly influencers, people who live off sponsored photos on their Instagram profile, are an example of this bogus self-employment.
They live off Instagram, but much more for Instagram – they tweak their entire lives to create the best photos and videos. And once their Instagram goes down, they have nothing to fall back on.

With the rise of social media, the phenomenon of fanship has changed drastically. About ten or twenty years ago, an idol was someone you idolized by hanging posters on the wall, playing CDs, maybe watching movies or TV shows. The relationship fan-
Idol was pretty one-sided: the fan was occasionally thrown a treat – a new song, a TV appearance, a message about a wedding in a gossip magazine – and he or she had to settle for that.

But with digitization, the relationship between fans and idols has turned inside out,
British sociology professor Ellis Cashmore writes in his book Kardashian Kulture, in which he examines how celebrity culture has changed in the 21st century. No longer are fans from outside looking at the world in which their idol lives – they are right in the thick of it.

Certain churches used those idols also in church and wanted to attire people to their meetings by using a lot of music and disco settings. In 2020 we saw a continuation of the pulpits shrinking and even disappearing while bands and lighting have grown. But faith does not come from music, dynamic experiences, or supposed encounters with God. Faith is birthed through the proclamation of God’s Word (Rom 10:17).

Our assurance is threatened.
Whilst certain churches kept calling their flock to the church building, others tried to bring entertaining video presentations. All that attention or focussing on those idols and entertainement made many youngsters feeling even more alone, when there was no such church meeting any more. If we associate God’s presence with a particular experience or emotion, you can ask what happens when we no longer feel it.

We search for churches whose praise band, orchestra, or pipe organ produce in us the feelings we are chasing. But the reality of God in our lives depends on the mediation of Christ not on subjective experiences.

Musicians are given priestly status.
When music is seen as a means to encounter God, worship leaders and musicians are vested with a priestly role. They become the ones who bring us into the presence of God rather than Jesus Christ who alone has already fulfilled that role. Understandably, when a worship leader or band doesn’t help me experience God they have failed and must be replaced. On the other hand, when we believe that they have successfully moved us into God’s presence they will attain in our minds a status that is far too high for their own good.

Division is increased.
If we identify a feeling as an encounter with God, and only a particular kind of music produces that feeling, then we will insist that same music be played regularly in our church or gatherings. As long as everyone else shares our taste then there is no problem. But if others depend upon a different kind of music to produce the feeling that is important to them then division is cultivated. And because we routinely classify particular feelings as encounters with God our demands for what produce those feelings become very rigid. This is why so many churches succumb to offering multiple styles of worship services. By doing so, they unwittingly sanction division and self-centeredness among the people of God.

Scripture is full of exhortations to God’s people to sing and make music to Him. Our God has been gracious to give us this means to worship Him. But it is important to understand that music in our worship is for two specific purposes: to honour God and to edify our fellow believers. Unfortunately, many Christians tend to grant music a sacramental power which Scripture never bestows upon it.

Intense relationship
Those churches who by the years focused more on the show element of their services brought their members now in a situation where the lockdown is felt more as a restriction and limitation. Some even came to find that they could not serve God any more or did not give Him the full worship they had to offer Him. The fact they felt they could not serve their God any more made them feeling very bad. Instead of making them to understand they also could worship God in their own house in their own small bubble, some churches gave them even more a feeling of guilt by keeping to tell them they should not stop coming to the church building.

Against the lonely feeling they said what’s needed was the gathering and coming to feast again for God. But what is really needed is a loving community where people are encouraged to speak up and get help. And that speaking can be done by internet meetings and help can be giving by phone calls as well as by sending material by land mail.

People should know that when fear comes into their heart, they themselves can call to God. They not only should trust on the entertaining sessions of their church.

God Loves You

The fundamental message of the Gospel is that God loves you.
Do you understand?
God loves you. No matter who you are, no matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, God will always love you. Dr. Kenneth Hutcherson describes it like this,

No matter what kind of situation you may find yourself facing, don’t be afraid, because God will always be with you and have your best interests in mind since He loves you.  Whenever feelings of fear creep into your life, turn to God for the help you need to overcome them and successfully navigate your circumstances.  Whenever you sense God calling you to do something that requires taking a risk, move forward without fear because God will empower you to do whatever He calls you to do.

It’s Alright to Feel Sad

No one likes to feel sad. We frequently try to avoid feelings of pain, or bury them under the weight of our daily routines. But sorrow cannot and should not be ignored. Accepting our sorrow doesn’t mean we’re weak, or a failure, it means we’re human. Just look what Ethan McCarthy of Christianity Today had to say,

Our faith is predicated on sadness. As we grow in Christ’s service, we begin to recognize ourselves in Christ’s sad gaze in the icons. The sadness of Jesus exemplifies the sadness of Christians everywhere, and through it the whole world is redeemed. For the sadness of Jesus is not an ultimate sadness: the Bible also promises the end of sadness, and the wiping away of all tears: ‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted’ (Matt. 5:4).

After bad times better times

2020 may not have been an ideal year, but we should know there have been lots more worse years in the past. When looking at those horrible years of illnesses, pains, horrible situations and wars, we should see that we did not have it as bad as some want us to believe.

Hope is a frail thing, but it’s hard to kill. If you’ve found yourself struggling in the valleys of life, please don’t give up. Surround yourself with friends who will comfort you and mourn with you. If you’re suffering from depression, have courage and make an appointment with a doctor. Above all, remember that God loves you, and that will never change.

2020 has been a year where a lot more people had psychological difficulties. The helplines got a lot more calls. Lots of people were struggling with depression.  More than 1 in 5 youngsters this year had difficulties with the isolation brought unto them. Christians should see signs and then should come to help.

Every suicide is a tragic end to a life that’s precious to God. If you’re willing, God can empower you to help save the lives of people he loves from ending their lives before they’ve completed the lifetimes he intends for them. Here’s how you can help prevent suicide by reaching out to struggling people you know:

Recognize warning signs.

The American Association of Suicidology says that people who are at risk of committing suicide often display warning signs such as: communicating a desire to kill themselves, looking for ways to kill themselves (like seeking access to guns or medications), expressing a lack of purpose or hope in life, demonstrating dramatic mood changes, behaving in significantly anxious or angry ways, sleeping too much or not sleeping enough, feeling trapped in a challenging situation, taking reckless risks, abusing alcohol or drugs, and withdrawing from relationships with family and friends.

Listen well and offer unconditional love, like God does.

Pay attention to the troubling thoughts and feelings that people share with you. Listen carefully to what they express, and ask them questions to clarify and seek more information. If suicidal people know that you’re genuinely interested in them and that they can trust you not to judge them, gossip about them, or avoid them when they tell you something disturbing, they’ll likely open up to you. Ask God to help you love suicidal people unconditionally – like He does – and that will give them hope they desperately need while struggling with embarrassment and shame.

Pray specifically.

Let people know that they can count on you to pray for them about every specific issue they’ve shared with you. Ask God to bring them the help and healing they need, and pray in Jesus’ name against any form of evil that may be attacking them spiritually.

Give people a fresh perspective on themselves and their problems.

Suicidal people often become so preoccupied with their own failures and the problems in their lives that they blow them out of proportion. When that happens, they feel overwhelmed and can’t see how they can ever find solutions to their problems or find relief from their suffering. Mistakenly thinking that there’s no hope for them to experience better lives, they then may choose to simply end their lives. If someone tells you that she hates herself or feels like a burden on others, you can encourage her by pointing out specific ways she has enriched your life. When someone you know is distraught about a problem that seems insurmountable, you can gently and respectfully point out other aspects of her life that are positive to help her gain a better perspective. Refrain from giving unsolicited advice, which can seem judgmental to someone who is struggling. But remind your friend that there’s plenty of good in her, and in her life, despite the bad aspects that trouble her. You can also point out that every problem – no matter how severe – is temporary, but suicide is permanent. Encourage suicidal people to give themselves time to see how their problems can resolve in unexpected ways, rather than prematurely ending their lives.

Strong churches don’t “fix” depression.

Even large churches may not have the framework currently in place to deal with mental disorders. So, what’s needed?

“Healing comes from a prayerful, loving community that seeks to truly understand major depressive disorder and related conditions, and one that develops a positive response.”

Depression can feel like a huge weight that keeps pulling a Christian down again and again. Breaking free from the clutches of this disorder may seem impossible, but Margaret Ashmore (of the Association of Biblical Counselors) says that one of the most important things a sufferer can do is “the next thing”:

“So ‘doing the next thing’ might mean getting right with someone you’ve wronged, making restitution on outstanding payments, putting away once for all that website or magazine which feeds a monstrous, lustful appetite, taking back a purchase of self indulgence whose only outcome was more debt – you will have your own list. I certainly have mine. But be assured, this principle alone can take you from a shrugging Atlas with the weight of the world on your shoulders to that of renewed vigor and reviving refreshment….”

“The choices we make to obey despite our feelings or to give in to the downward pull of a fallen world filled with fallen people – mean everything.”

If you suffer from anxiety of depression, you’re not alone.

The one true source of freedom: Jesus.

People who kill themselves are trying to break free from their pain. But suicide just makes people dead, not free, and it actually causes more pain by spreading grief around to deceased people’s loved ones. Tell struggling people you know that while suicide can’t make them free, Jesus Christ can. Jesus is the way to God. He is the mediator between God and man, and having been here on earth as a man of flesh and blood, he very well knows the pains man can have to face.

No matter how difficult, certain things may look for us, when we pray to God we may find solutions to get over those difficult situations.

 

(With parts of articles by a.o. Todd Pruitt, John UpChurch, Ryan Duncan, Whitney Hopler of Crosswalk.com)

 

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What can each individual do to lessen the burden in times of pandemic

Ms. Sarah Ibershimi, a third year medical students, studying at ‘Universiteti i Mjekësisë Tiranë (UMT)’, in Albania. She is affiliated to the International Federation of Medical Students Associations (IFMSA), cordial partner of The Sting, for which she wrote an article about mental health in times of pandemic and what each individual can  do to lessen the burden.

The outbreak of COVID-19 has spread rapidly between and within countries and it has sickened more than 2.5 million people all over the world. Pandemics are not only health emergencies in which human life is threatened but they are also human dramas that cause psychological disturbances. Due to the emergency caused by the novel coronavirus, the governments put their countries on a lockdown, in order to break the chain of transmission. But, what are the consequences of social isolation on mental health and what can be done to mitigate these effects?

The coronavirus outbreak is clearly shaping our lives. Coping with unemployment, mobility restrictions, social distance and excessive fear in such a short time, is not easy at all. In terms of mental health, this emergency exceeds the capacity of the population to handle on the situation. Moreover, the psychological effects are more marked in vulnerable groups such as elderly people, children or even those who have a lack of resources and access to social and health services. Regarding this, there are a lot of effective initiatives that we can undertake to lessen the burden.

> Continue reading: Mental Health in times of pandemic: What can each individual do to lessen the burden?

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Find also to read:

  1. Making deeper cuts than some terrorist attacks of the near past
  2. The unseen enemy
  3. Under-reporting the total number of coronavirus cases
  4. From the Old Box: Coughs and sneezes spread diseases
  5. Remembering what happened in the previous influenza pandemic
  6. Staying at home saves lives
  7. A new start when the lockdown comes to an end
  8. Time to add value

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Educational affairs, Health affairs, Lifestyle, Social affairs, Welfare matters

Anxiety Management During Pandemic Days~

When living in Lockdown places, even in cities when still able to go some kilometres away from home, even if it has now become more limited in several places, those not limited by (1-1-1 or 1 person 1 meter from home at a time) may be happy to count themselves to the lucky ones who may still move around and should be enjoying to see all those things for which they previously had not taken enough time to notice them.

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To remember:

  • shrieking headlines > increasing anxiety, worry, sleep disruption, feelings of helplessness, panic, and/or depression.
  • some ideas that can help:
    • a customized anxiety toolbox to pick and choose
    • looking at positive images = objective + powerful anxiety reducer.
    • Self Talk Reframing (Cognitive Therapy)
    • Guided Imagination/Visualization
    • Exposure Management
    • Progressive Relaxation
    • Distraction in Action
    • Self Soothing
    • Spiritual Meditation/Prayer
    • Second Voice
    • Exercise, Diet & Good Health Practices
    • stay well informed + safe >> constant media onslaught = psychologically overwhelming + add to an unhealthy level of anxiety => reduce exposure to news.
    • Look for positive imagery +  Write blogs + stories.

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Continue reading: Hope on the Horizon: Pandemic Anxiety Management II~

Preceding

CoViD-19 warnings

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Please find also to read:

  1. Using fears of the deadly coronavirus
  2. Europe in Chaos for a Pandemic
  3. Making deeper cuts than some terrorist attacks of the near past
  4. The unseen enemy

Many of us are experiencing emotional distress from the pandemic which can affect each of us in different ways, but often presents as increasing anxiety, worry, sleep disruption, feelings of helplessness, panic, and/or depression.

The shrieking headlines don’t help do they? So what can we do to manage these feelings and feel stronger emotionally and psychologically as we prepare ourselves to face the difficult days ahead?

As a psychotherapist who has practiced for many decades, I have some ideas that can help. So if you are interested, read on.

We are going to make a customized anxiety toolbox. One approach doesn’t work for everyone, pick and choose what feels right for you. Of course I’m including relaxing photos intermixed in this post because looking at positive images is an objective and powerful anxiety reducer. What you perceive influences how you think and feel.

ANXIETY TOOLBOX:

Self Talk Reframing (Cognitive Therapy)

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The meaning of life – Finding purpose

To remember

  • When little feeling unless I was there to perceive it, the world did not exist => ended & was created anew every time
  • thought myself to be creator + center of the universe
  • when child > feeling so much more important than a rational thought.
  • India > Landing in multicultural & multicolored chaos = landed on a different planet =>. India must surely seize to exist when I am not there.
  • consecutive conclusion that every single human being must feel the same way > each & every one of us = universe all on our own, made up of silently verbalized thoughts, feelings, mental images, and subconscious impulses.
  • Charles Dickens = master of tapping into all these different universes > each human being that lives, has lived and will live, is a story, a uniquely fantastic story with a unique plot and characters.
  • all made up of the same stardust => one = beautiful human paradox > both sameness, oneness, unity, + absolute + irrevocably unique.
  •  all of us relevant to history of life of human kind
  • When there is not two of the same in a circumstance =>each part important + unconditionally valuable => all have unique creativity, thoughts, imagination, insights +  talents, => important to human kind + its history => gives meaning
  • individualism = selfishness + self-centeredness = opposite of cooperation, generosity +  compassion.
  •  Abraham Maslow psychologist who gave us famous pyramid of human needs > bottom solid foundation of life > cannot live without (food, water + shelter) > top > self-actualization.
  • learned to pin-point our strengths + weaknesses, explore our talents + analyze our personality traits + learned to use this self-insight to expand our empathy =>mental health determined by outer circumstances = key to why individualism is not just a big ego-trip <= believe in oneself & value of one’s life in the world 1°learn to trust  something valuable to bring = self-actualization.

=> the more uniqueness = the more difference to make in the world.

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Knowledge & Wisdom, Lifestyle, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Reflection Texts, Social affairs, Spiritual affairs, Welfare matters, World affairs

Where to Begin and What to say Next about OCD

Today’s guestwriter is working on overcoming the mental disorder where people feel the need to check things repeatedly, perform certain routines repeatedly (called “rituals”), or have certain thoughts repeatedly (called “obsessions”), Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) disorder (also called obsessivecompulsive neurosis) by all means possible.
She decided to learn new ways to deal with her OCD and it has brought great satisfaction to her finding out through this trial the comfort and satisfaction it gives her to express herself in writing to reach out to others and let them know… they are Not Alone.

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To remember

Writing has proven to be therapeutic > not liking to take NO for an answer => keeps trying

much work to do in educating people about OCD and what is really is

> rising through the humiliation is a large dose of humility {The Big 3 (OCD, Anxiety, Panic) Bully}

Find also: Answers, Help, and a Sense of Belonging

Logically Illogical with OCD

It has been so great to learn how much I enjoy writing!  It is great to get some stuff out of my mind and on to the page.  But as with everything my OCD and perfectionism has to come along for the ride.  So I am stuck inside my mind trying to decide what to blog about.  I have so many things I want to say and share, yet the question I continually have is Where to Begin and What to say Next about OCD. 

I just came back from the OCD conference in Chicago.  It was fantastic!  Any my mind is telling me that I shouldn’t write about anything else until I have properly written about the conference and shared all the wonderful information that I received.  However, while I want to share all of the information…it just isn’t what I feel like sharing now.  While my OCD tells…

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Lessons I have learned

Panic-attack

Panic-attack (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The lady who had had her first ever proper panic attack a year ago, when she couldn’t breathe, and rapidly became hysterical in her bathroom away from her kids, knows how she can be challenged being a single mum to four kids, that being a pretty time consuming.

The challenges have been huge and diverse in the last year.

For this Cornish woman her husband is the unsung hero in her tale. He helps her get dressed and use the bathroom, wash, cooks, cleans, does most of the childcare, and pretty much has an elderly person for a wife in return for his efforts, a lot of the time.

Have you any idea what it’s like to have to get your husband to help you with toiletting? Or how awful it is to have to get your eight year old to put your socks on. To have to call your son to watch you get up the stairs in case you fall? Or to have to call your teenage daughter up to your room as you can’t open the curtains? Or to train your two year old to pass everything at floor level up to you, as you can’t bend down? How guilty you feel that you aren’t like the other mums, instead your children also help care for you? {Crossing the line.}

Let us look how she now fulfils all the needs and requirements when she as a seriously ill woman is doing the job of 2/3 people.

What can a person do when she is in severe pain everyday to varying degrees and when the  kidneys are not working properly, the immune system at about 40%, her pericarditis playing up (swollen third chamber of my heart) each day she spends half hour getting her back, knees, hips and knees moving before she can focus properly.

Like many chronic pain patients she has become highly skilled at hiding her pain over the last 24 years, and very few people will see or experience the vulnerable and broken person, that exists through the cracks.

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To remember:

it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks

We are all in charge of our own destiny and happiness, + must own our decisions, as they are ours alone to make. Whether that’s, medication, lifestyle, parenting, a job, relationships, moving across the country for a shot at happiness. Own it. 

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Preceding articles:

What would you do if…?

What would you do if…? Continued trial

What Are You Seeking?

Though disabled in the eyes of society able to do great things

I will not be defined

Fibromyalgia & ME/CFS Awareness Day

See the conquest and believe that we can gain the victory

The Goal

Cosmina Craciunescu looks on Positivism

A quadruped amputee not stopped from wanting to achieve her dreams

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You've gotta have Gumption....

I’ve been debating for a while where I’m going with this. The cold, hard truth of the matter is that I’ve had very little time for anything other than being mum, and trying to keep my body working as best it can. I can’t remember the last time I was able to read a paper, or watch a full film.

Turns out being a single mum to four kids is pretty time consuming, who knew!?

The challenges have been huge and diverse in the last year. How do I fulfill all their needs and requirements of me when I am one, seriously ill woman doing the job of 2/3 people? The logistics alone have been a nightmare, getting everyone where they need to be and collecting them, making sure they have all the kit they need for the various activities they do, homework, food, washing, teacher appointments, councilling, sports, friends…

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It’s a New Year!

Now and then human being have to be reminded that material is just dust. Often it is with less pleasant experiences that we are pushed with our face in the reality of life.

It is good that at such moments of truth people dare to tell others how they feel and what they experience. Such moments of calamity should make us to think about more important things. It should remind us of our Maker and about our reason being here and how we should relate to each other and our environment.

Institute of Mental Health 10, Nov 06

Institute of Mental Health 10, Nov 06 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Some of the experiences we get in a year may be all too much. They can deliver us more worries and stress than our stress bucket can handle. That is the moment that this also will overflow – at which point we can start to experience symptoms of mental ill health. We can use coping strategies to help tap the bucket, and allow stress to flow away in a healthy and manageable way.

However, no matter how hard we try, no matter how good our coping strategies – exercise, medicines, meditation – no matter how much we avoid the things we know are bad for us – sometimes life throws in a brick and makes it impossible to avoid the inevitable splash. {Bricks in the stress bucket}

Living in this world, even with all the luxury around us certain things also for us can get too much, and our usual coping mechanisms then shall cease to be a match for our concerns, that this can lead us to develop emotional / mental health issues. Some might want to use their employees as machines, bu we are human beings not without inner feelings, and life throws things at us that we don’t always know how to deal with very well.

Sadly a lot of people may well be experiencing that overspill in the coming months –  widespread flooding across the North of the United Kingdom (and in Missouri, red.) has devastated lives, homes, businesses. People are still cleaning up, throwing out years worth of possessions and irreplaceable mementoes, wondering where on earth the money will come from to replace even the more mundane things like microwaves and kettles. {Bricks in the stress bucket}

When bad things happen in a certain region that is often also the time people are coming to know each other in an other, and hopefully in a better way.

The good news is that we have seen the most amazing evidence of the goodness of humanity – people helping eachother to clean up, everyone banding together. Volunteers travelling from near and far, donations pouring in – individuals and organisations and companies are doing a lot to ensure that things are put right as quickly as possible. I have a lot of hope that some minds have been changed, and eyes opened by the sheer generosity and kindness which has been shown by diverse communities from across the country in this little valley. {Bricks in the stress bucket}

Hopefully, that evidence of love and kinship will help people in more than just the practical ways. But in the weeks and months to come, people will start to be impacted by the trauma they have experienced. The exhaustion of the effort they have had to put in to get their homes dry, stay fed, keep themselved and their families safe – it will creep up on people and affect them in ways they may not expect. {Bricks in the stress bucket}

Some may think that such things will soon be forgotten, but they are not. Life has to go on and people will find a way to cope with it, but is shall leave its scars. It is perfectly understandable, and natural, that this will creep up on people and affect them in ways they may not expect.

Human beings have so much ignored nature around them that now nature is giving back an answer which is not so pleasant at times. 2015 may have been the warmest year since the measuring but it had its moments of heavy winds and pouring waters.

Storms have mercilessly battered Britain, one after the other over this festive period, bringing with them severe and unrelenting floods. The scale of damage and devastation was unprecedented, but it was not unpredictable. We’ve seen these storms growing with intensity every year. And, whilst a few might naively blame El Niño for this recent bout, we know that climate change is the driving factor. {UK flooding: the new normal in a changed climate}

Throughout the years we have shown our unrespectfulness and neglectfulness to mother nature that now time has come to have it respond to us on not such a friendly way either.

The harsh truth is that even if we cut all emissions today, we can’t undo what damage we’ve already done. The carbon we’ve pumped into the atmosphere will remain there for generations to come and so too will the weather it brings with it. The climate has changed, it continues to change and there’s no going back. These violent winter storms, and the floods they bring with them, are here to stay. {UK flooding: the new normal in a changed climate}

And that each rainfall will bring unease (indeed we know there is always a risk of the waters rising again – our last disaster brought two floods in one month). So it is vital that people recognise that their emotions, their mental health deserve as much care as their physical health, and that they seek help if they are struggling – in the same way they would seek help if they start to vomit / get toilet trouble that may come as a result of being in contact with the polluted flood waters. {Bricks in the stress bucket}

I think it would be particularly useful for those of us in the community who wish to support our friends and families – who perhaps know people they think might struggle to accept mental health difficulties in themselves and so not seek help when they need it. {Bricks in the stress bucket}

When the rivers retreat from historic and deadly winter flooding, leaving amid the silt a massive cleanup and recovery effort likely to take weeks if not months, people have to find a new way to continue their life.

The level of global change we’re experiencing now presents many interconnected, multi-faceted challenges that have affected and will affect different countries in different ways. It is hard to tell as a layperson what this means, but the experts have long since warned that the most severe effects in the UK would be powerful storms and increased flooding. There has been very little to suggest that the government has taken these warnings seriously, as they still seem to operate on the principle that it’s better to be sorry than safe. But they can’t keep living in denial, we are living in a different world. The Earth has warmed by one degree and it’s time we started acting like it. {UK flooding: the new normal in a changed climate}

Going into a new year lets think about all those people who are experiencing the worst things people can endure, war, floods …. and let us hope more people shall be willing to stand ready for them in need and help them to find the good things in life again.

May the good things in your life also be more lightening than your bad experiences of the year and let 2016 be a year of good health and a progression in the good direction.

God bless.

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Further readings

  1. When life spills over the edge – can you help?
  2. Emergency responders manage risks as river rises above flood stage
  3. A Slightly Different View Of Aberdeen Beach Today…
  4. St. Louis area faces big cleanup effort after flooding
  5. Deluge
  6. Storms and Floods
  7. 2016 Start
  8. Deadly floods choke operations from oil to wheat in U.S. Midwest
  9. UK flooding: the new normal in a changed climate
  10. The EU Water Framework Directive & The Role Played By Green NGO’s
  11. The Perks of Escaping Your Mind Through Nature
  12. …And, she’s back!!
  13. Tired
  14. 1/3-stress on stress
  15. Self-Care Sunday: What’s Worked For Me
  16. Happy New Year
  17. Taking Stock
  18. God’s Words of Comfort in Times of Fear – January 3, 2016
  19. Not a bad start
  20. Shit I’m Gonna Try to Accomplish This Year
  21. Worry Stress: Make a Decision Now
  22. Growing Young
  23. Calm down.

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Ecological affairs, Headlines - News, Lifestyle, Nature, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Social affairs

O’ Captain! My Captain!

Being known, being active, bringing people to laugh, it does not mean that person cannot be struggling with inner difficulties and with a blackening visions, not showing a way out of the misery or negative thoughts.
Let us hope people shall be able to find easier somebody who wants to listen and somebody who can help to get the dark curtain opened to let the sun shine in.

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To remember

  • Depression robs you of perspective- blocking out the joys of the past and the promise of tomorrow.
  • You believe that it is not worth living in a world without light.
  • But depression can lift.
  • If given the opportunity, if you can hold on through that darkest hour, the light does return.
  • Depression is stigmatized and people avoid having contact with that person they consider having a mental illness and addiction.
  • Fighting depression requires Herculean levels of strength.
  • There is help for those who have depression; therapy, medication, and even meditation.
  • It is important to keep fighting.

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  • Blackness ever blackening: My lifetime of depression (psypost.org)
    I don’t remember ever being called a happy-go-lucky or sunny-natured child, or feeling like one, although I certainly experienced varieties of happiness sometimes. I have a clear memory of somersaulting out of bed one morning when I was six or seven for the pleasure of getting up and going to school. Yet I’m suspicious of that moment as having more to do with me trying to manipulate the family mood than a genuine expression of joie de vivre. It looks, in retrospect, too theatrical. It’s the only really energetic recollection I have of myself, but I’m sure there were others.
  • I am the Face of Depression and This is My Story. (dmmcginnis.wordpress.com)
    We are told that, tragically, Mr. Williams took his own life after suffering from major depression. I think this is ultimately why it has hit us so hard.  Society as a whole stigmatizes depression, they sweep it under the rug and make it even harder for those that are suffering. People as a whole do not understand truly what depression is. I think Mr. Sean McGuire would agree with me that you can not truly understand depression unless you have experienced it. To suggest otherwise is insulting and asinine.
  • Depression-seeking help (exegete77.wordpress.com)
    Over the last four years since I began writing about depression and the Christian life, several people have contacted me about depression. They had been battling it for months or years.

    For some the fear is that a Christian should not have a problem with depression. Some view it as a sign of weakness or lack of faith. Others see a continuing rerun of the same thing. For some depression seems to establish a life of its own that seems to never end, rearing its ugly head time after time.

  • Depression – let’s tell the real stories (kateonthinice.com)
    I did not go to my GP because I felt silly about doing so and like it was typical of terrible me to be making a fuss unnecessarily and wasting everyone’s time. I slept because I was exhausted. I did not exercise but then I had not done so previously. I bought self-help books and trawled the Internet looking for answers but I did not get better.
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    Personally, I find it very simplistic to say that there are only two types of responses that people have to depression. Every individual has their own story to tell and their contribution to make to raising awareness of the realities of depression. Whether they feel strong enough to have that voice or whether the stigma of mental health issues gets in the way is another matter.
  • Depression in cancer ‘overlooked’ (bbc.co.uk)

    People often wrongly assume that major depression is part of a natural reaction to cancer – but this is much more than transient sadness, the Edinburgh and Oxford university researchers say.

    Their report suggests a new nurse-led treatment could help thousands of people.

    In a series of studies they analysed data on 21,000 cancer patients living in Scotland.

    They found 6% to 13% of people had clinical depression, compared with just 2% of the general population at any time.

    Cancer survivor Sonia Wilson said cancer made her feel “like a burden to society”

    Sufferers of major depression feel persistently low, may find it difficult to sleep and have poor appetites.

    But researchers found 75% of people reporting these symptoms were not receiving treatment, partly because they did not consider seeking help and professionals did not pick up on their illness.

  • When the sun shouldn’t shine. (failingathaiku.wordpress.com)
    Is it just me, or on a day when someone you loved dies, isn’t it weird if the weather is nice? We don’t think that way if it is a celebrity, but if it is a loved one we kind of expect it to rain, or for the sky to grow dark early, or something.
  • How to have the best day Ever! (annasuvorova68.wordpress.com)
    When we take responsibility for one day, just today, we create a Life we want to live.
    Here are a few little guide lines for those who need a gentle reminder.
    One step at a time.
    One breath at a time.
  • Fly high. Soar and Be Free. (lovelifeandlemonade.com)
    We’ve never talked. And yet I’m so sad he is no longer in this world. Is it crazy? Crazy that I’m essentially mourning the death of Robin Williams?
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    Society has such a negative (and nasty) outlook on mental health related issues.  The whole “just snap out of it” thing, by the way – doesn’t work. Don’t you think those that are feeling this enormous amount of anxiety, pain and sadness would snap their fingers and make it go away if they had that ability?
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    Zelda Williams, daughter of late Robin Williams, has been flooded with horrific messages about her father. So much so that she has stepped away from social media to grieve in private. Ridiculous. What has this world come to? We don’t understand something in it’s entirety so we belittle, bash and demean it? Demean people?
  • Surviving Cancer & Depression: 4 Steps to Success (Part 2) (breastcanceryogablog.com)
    According to the World Health Organization (WHO), mental illness is very common. One in five Americans aged 16-85 experience some form of mental illness in any year. Suicide is among the top 20 leading causes of death globally for all ages. According to (WHO), every year over 800,000 people die from suicide. That is an alarming statistic.

    The most common mental illnesses are depressive, anxiety and substance use disorder. These three types of mental illnesses often occur in combination. For example, a person with an anxiety disorder could also develop depression, or a person with depression might misuse alcohol or other drugs, in an effort to self-medicate. A third combination would be incompatible pharmaceuticals that exacerbate mental illness during treatment for a physical illness.

  • The Dark Cloud Of Depression (anempoweredspirit.com)
    It felt as if I was imprisoned in my own body, unable to be the person I once was. I couldn’t get dressed, I couldn’t eat, and I had no interest in anything but the dark cloud. I began losing weight, and sat in a chair all day and stared out the window.

Connect. Evolve. Thrive.

Robin WilliamsRIP Robin Williams.

Robin Williams was an amazingly gifted man. His joys and his sorrows were palpable to the audience- whether he was performing stand-up or acting. He made all of us feel: laughter, elation, sadness and pain.

His manic style and twinkling eyes were a part of my childhood- and when I heard of his suicide- I cried. I was surprised by how hard it hit me, but I believe it is also a testament to his gifts as an entertainer that I felt so connected to a man I never met.

I also cried because it always devastates me when I hear that someone who has battled depression has lost their fight. The joy and laughter that Robin Williams gave to so many was not available to him when he needed it on Monday. And the world is surely a less joyous place as a result.

Robin Williams…

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National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month

National minority Mental-health-awareness-month JulyJuly is National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, and health officials are using it to call attention to some surprising figures.

In many economical thriving countries a lot of problems occur by people who would like to be different or would love to have their dreams become reality.

Issues in Mental Health Nursing

Issues in Mental Health Nursing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lots of people think the United States of America is the best place to be happy and successful. But that country, like the West-European countries is not the place where many people seem to feel they have a healthy mind.

One in five American adults will battle some sort of mental health issue in their lifetime, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. While that may seem high, the data is even more staggering when it comes to minorities.

Hispanic high school girls are 70 percent more likely than their white counterparts to attempt suicide.

Whites are more than 50 percent more likely than Blacks to receive prescriptions to treat depression and other issues.

Asian women are the leading victims of suicide among senior citizens.

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon

Mental Health Awareness Ribbon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The challenge for mental health professionals trying to curb those statics is overcoming long-held stigmas that have kept certain groups from seeking the help they need.

There are still a lot of stigma’s around mental health. Stigmas, limited access to care, and social and economic stresses are among the factors that keep some minorities from treating or even acknowledging mental illness.

There are multiple things we need to do to bring greater awareness to minority mental health:

  1. Build awareness
  2. Remember services are difficult to locate
  3. Remind clinicians and mental health professionals to be culturally competent
  4. Understand that:
    • Many cultures lack knowledge about mental illness or see it as taboo
    • Lack support from their own culture to seek services
    • Do not trust opposite cultures helping them
    • Struggle with gender bias

Read more here or check into this great research article published on the topic.

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How do Other People Feel About Mental Health?

We all have the choice either to make something in our life or to let life break us.

We better choose to do something and let not fear prohibit us to take further steps. By falling and standing up we get much further than by lying down and hoping we shall get somewhere.

People who feel sorry with us are perhaps not the right people to stay in contact with or to have a nice liaison with.

People are to fast to say a person has a psychological disorder.It is not because you are not the same as the majority that you would be insane or not normal. It also does not say you have a mental illness, and when a person has a mental ilness it does not mean he or she should not have a place in our society and would not be able to do good in our society.

When a person is facing depression and anxiety this may be at a certain point in his or her life, a moment of mental disease, which can pass and should pass when the person can find the strength in making the right contacts and in starting to believe in him or herself.

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Find also to read:

  1. Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression
  2. Anxiety’s Hold
  3. Anxiety is the gap between the now and the later
  4. When discouraged facing opposition
  5. It continues to be a never ending, exhausting battle for survival.
  6. What If you’re only driven by stress?
  7. Depression, Anxiety, Pressure and megachurches
  8. Thanksgiving wisdom: Why gratitude is good for your health
  9. Aligned
  10. Some one or something to fear #2 Attitude and Reactions
  11. Some one or something to fear #3 Cases, folks and outing
  12. Some one or something to fear #4 Families and Competition
  13. Fearing the right person
  14. Searching for fulfilment and meaning through own efforts, facing unsatisfaction and depression
  15. Come ye yourselves apart … and rest awhile (Mark 6:31)

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  • Breaking Taboo….. (nocrybabies.net)
    Of all the taboo topics in the world I think mental illness wins first place for the longest running taboo subject of all time.  We have evolved and come around in matters of sex, gender identity and homosexuality but mental illness……that’s still something most people would rather keep locked up in the dark taboo closet because it is just too uncomfortable to get in to.Mental illness is not just the crazy killer type depicted in Hollywood movies or the crazy guy on the corner yelling at the air.  Many times it something more miniscule like anxiety or depression.  Just like back in the 80’s when people thought AIDS was spread by air or touch, mental illness suffers this same ignorance, this same mis-education of sorts.

    Look around the room you are in, look around your neighborhood, look at your co-workers…..chances are at least one of the people you just scanned over has a mental illness.  Surprised?  Many sufferers are high functioning members of society but they are battling internal forces in the way their mind thinks, perceives and feels.  This does not make them scary, this does not make them unpredictable, this does not make them less of a human being, it just makes them people who have struggles the rest of us do not understand.

  • Ideology and Insanity: What is Mental Illness? (rationaloptimist.wordpress.com)
    the whole enterprise of modern American mind doctoring aims at making us a more collectivist society. That’s the import of his saying “mental illness” labeling is a guise for enforcing social conformism. Szasz maintains that for most people in mental institutions, being “treated” for “their own good” is basically a fiction for what is really imprisonment. Moreover, since Szasz wrote in 1970, there’s been a huge shift from putting mentally ill people in asylums to literally jailing them. (See this recent article in The Economist.)
  • Mentally ill people need to be helped, not hounded | Polly Toynbee (theguardian.com)
    mental health would get “parity of esteem” with physical health, but so far there is little sign of it. Instead the government has just cut the tariff paid for mental healthcare by more than it cut the tariff for physical treatments. Norman Lamb spoke at the launch of the Layard and Clark campaign in the Commons, protesting that mental health “was first to be cut and isn’t getting a fair share of attention”. Had he forgotten that he is himself a health minister who could say no?
  • “Time to change the language we use about mental health” – Gary Nunn for The Guardian (thebigmadexperience.wordpress.com)
    We’ve all had a mental, mad or manic day at work. Frustration has driven us nuts or crazy. Affectionately, we may have referred to an eccentric friend as “bonkers” or “as mad as a box of frogs”. Some people might call a day of very changeable weather “schizophrenic”. The Black Eyed Peas invited us to “get retarded”. Mental health is so ingrained in our everyday vernacular, it’s interesting to me how we now unshackle meaning, intent and potential offence caused by reinforcing negative stereotypes. I spoke to Time to Change, England’s most ambitious campaign into ending discrimination surrounding mental health, for guidance.
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    What of media outlets that have misused language about mental health?
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    If you want to be thoughtful in everyday conversation, what does Time to Change recommend? Nightingale says: “The meaning of words can change over time. ‘Manic’ and ‘mad’ are frequently used in informal conversations and, while we accept they have various meanings, they can also cause offence. Using words like ‘psycho’, ‘nutter’, ‘schizo’ or ‘loony’ to describe someone with mental health problem is certainly offensive and unacceptable. ‘Schizophrenic’ is often misused to mean a split personality, or something that’s very changeable, and usage in everyday speech contributes to the misunderstanding and stigma that there is around this mental health problem in particular, so we would advise against that.”
  • Depression in business leaders (bbc.co.uk)
    Clinical depression is an illness. Unhappiness, whether because of something that has gone wrong at work or because someone has died or divorced is quite different.”When I have clinical depression I get no pleasure out of any of the things I [normally] get pleasure out of. I lose all self-confidence and I never believe I can get out of it.”He says it is “presumptive” to think there must be an external factor – such as work – that causes an episode of depression.

    “The big question is what does cause [these episodes],” he says. “The truth is we don’t really know.” He puts it down to a combination of biological and environmental factors.

    But the mental health charity Mind says work can be the root of mental health problems. Recent research from the charity found it was the biggest cause of stress in people’s lives with one in three people describing it as very, or quite, stressful.

  • Talking About Mental Health: A Teacher’s Perspective (blogs.vancouversun.com)
    It is so meaningful for kids to meet a person who struggles with a mental illness who is doing well in life and is very much a full-functioning member of society. I think it does a lot to dispel some of the stereotypes that we have in our society about people who have a mental illness.
  • The Myths that Society Holds About Mental Illness (drdeborahserani.blogspot.com)
    It is an undisputed fact that individuals who experience mental health issues are often faced with discrimination that results from misconceptions of their illness As a result, many people who would benefit from mental health services often don’t seek treatment for fear that they will be viewed in a negative way.  The World Health Organization agrees and says that in the 400 million people worldwide who are affected by mental illness, about twenty percent reach out for treatment.
  • Anxiety – it may catch you unaware but you won’t let it defeat you! Part 2 (naomihanger.wordpress.com)
    Anxiety is not just something you get over, it takes work, time and energy and many times of falling over and having to get back up and try again. Anxiety is something that may remain a part of your life in some shape or form, but I do believe that it doesn’t have to consume your life. Anxiety may flare up from time to time depending on the situations you are faced with and there may be times when it is a daily battle but for those suffering from anxiety now with intensity and regularity I want to assure that there is hope, living a life without the constant suffocating, all consuming, debilitating monster that anxiety is possible!
  • Mental Illness Across Cultures: An Interview with Gayathri Ramprasad (thereseborchardblog.com)
    As much stigma as there lives in American homes regarding mental illness, it’s much worse in other countries. Gayathri Ramprasad grew up in Bangalore, India, where traditional Hindu culture has no concept of depression. There was no doctor to diagnose her anxiety disorder as an adolescent girl nor medicine to treat the condition.
  • Coming Out Of The Bipolar Closet (godisms.wordpress.com)
    Wonderful article from Danielle of BLC. Her strength and courage in stepping out of the darkness and into the light on BP and depression is so inspiring.
    > Coming Out Of The Bipolar Closet
    I have been open in the past about many of my mental health challenges, and yet, I had never publicly discussed the fact that I have bipolar disorder. I was helping so many other people though my advocacy and Broken Light, and yet I was still hiding. I was still afraid of stigma. A few weeks ago, I decided that I was done hiding. I published the following piece on the Huffington Post. A piece it took me over a year to gain the courage to publish. In the time since it was written, I have come to recognize that bipolar is just one piece of my complex mental puzzle, but in that moment, it felt like everything. I know many of our Collective family can empathize with parts, if not all of this piece, so I would like to share it here as well. Keep in mind that this piece represents my experience, and not necessarily everyone’s experience with mental illness. We are all individuals on our own twisting journeys to mental health and wellness.

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Health affairs, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs

A Cranky Old Man

In this world many feel lonely. Lots of them have gotten old. Lots of them are abounded, but aside in a nursing home or in a dementia detention ward.

How de we want to look at others? How shall others look at us now and in a few years time?

We ourselves should always looking at others as children of God. Those who are older than ourselves we should respect as those who went before us to pave the way in front of us to make sure that we could have a living too. Them we do owe respect. That is what many forget these days.

Do we want to see ourselves in the older person? And more important do we want to see the person behind the old wreck we see in front of us?

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To remember

sons… grow and go

babies come again to play around

Dark days are upon us

close ones die

looking to the future we may shudder with dread

nature can be cruel

It’s jest to make old age…

Look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles…

Grace and vigor, depart.

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  • Cranky Old Man (shedmontfort.wordpress.com)
    When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
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    The best and most beautiful things of this world can’t be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart!
  • Cranky Old Man (globalunison.wordpress.com)

    This old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the globe awaking masses to accept the reality that“nobody can run away from the dreadful old age however ravishing their young age may be”.

  • Do you really think you know me? (fellowshipoftheminds.com)
  • Do Unto Others… (asatisfiedspirit.com)
  • A Cranky Old Man (outsider-trading.com)
  • Special Feature : The Cranky Old Man (morguemouse.wordpress.com)
  • A cranky old man (murtighazi.wordpress.com)
  • Grow or Not (pamboyd.wordpress.com)
    as we get older, we can just become more cynical, worn out, bitter, resentful, and fearful. Cranky old women and men are everywhere. The only way to avoid the problem of “shrinking” into ourselves as we age, is to start expanding outside of ourselves now.
  • A Cranky Old Man (smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com)
    I would be in the kitchen diner where I had my office and would listen to the discussions going on – slipping in from time to time to replenish the preferred alcoholic beverages. Gin, double with a lick of tonic and slice of lemon – double whisky and water, large schooner of sherry and a large glass of red wine. The ladies were all in late 80′s early 90′s but you could have been out with any group of girls from 18- 100. I had to intervene occasionally when discussions would become a little heated about the attributes of some poor unsuspecting acquaintance, and then escort them across the road and round the corner to the local pub that served a very good senior’s lunch on a Friday.
    Cranky at times yes, but I have more than enough ammunition for a tell all book and enough for a follow up. How they did not get barred from the pub is down to a 70 something Italian waiter who lovingly steered them through their liver and bacon with half portion of dessert. Thank you for the reminder that we should remember that older people have had and continue to have a life.
  • Cranky Old Farts (and Some Young Ones Too) (grumpyelder.com)
    I used to think I was a cranky old fart. I took some pride in that to be frank but I’ll tell you what – compared to David Suzuki – I’m Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. Not only is he significantly older than I am but he is the poster boy for being cranky or at least – being a crank. There are days, quite frankly, when I wonder if his relationship […]

My Good Time Stories

born 2 B mildWhen an old man died in a nursing home, nurses found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed them, it was spread throughout the nursing home and afar. The old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in magazines for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his poem. And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the Internet.

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Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses?

What do you see?

What are you thinking…

When you are looking at me?

A cranky old man,

Not very wise,

Uncertain of habit

With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food

And makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice…

“I do wish you’d try!”

Who seems not to…

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What kind of attitude do you have?

Choosing the people around us is important. We can become influenced by them, but we also can influence them. Those who are full of negativism can become transformed by our positivism.

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Remember:

  1. Evaluate people, places and things in the right way
  2. Form your attitudes through life experiences in a good way
  3. Show your feeing
  4. do not hide you way of thinking
  5. dare to show your acting
  6. Create a positive environment => be more positive = have a positive attitude
  7. learn about positive thinking and practice what you learn => develop habit of being positive.
  8. !   Negative people can pull down your mood and make you very unhappy.
  9. Do not have to their bad mood get to you.

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imconfident

Couple Sharing Bread in Seaside RestaurantAn attitude is how you evaluate people, places and things.   Attitudes are formed through life experiences and show how you feel, think and act.

Depending on the environment you grew up in, the people you surround yourself with and how immersed you are in the media, you may have developed a more positive or a more negative attitude.  When you are in a positive environment, you will tend to be more positive and likely have a positive attitude.  When you are in a negative environment, you will tend to be more negative and likely have a negative attitude.

The good thing is, you don’t have to keep the attitude you have.   If you learn about positive thinking and practice what you learn, you will develop a habit of being positive.

When you meet someone who has a negative attitude, how does it make you feel?  If they are being nasty, mean…

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Helping to create a Positive Attitude

From the previous postings you could come to see how serious we have to take the people around us, because they will influence us in one way or the other. It would not be so much a problem if those out there would have naturally positive attitudes. But we also have to face those with negative attitudes. They might be born with no sunny signs for them or could their dispositions having destroyed or distorted by the negativity of others (parents, teachers, siblings or friends) as they grew up.

We also showed that everything is in the mind of each person him or herself. Everyone can bend the coarse of negative thought in to the line of positiveness. We all have to take up our responsibility to help those who are totally caught up in the negative spiral. We can help them by showing our positive attitude.

By coming to the knowledge that we ourselves are the only person who can create and control our attitude, we ourself can get on the way, but also show to the other that he or she also has that possibility to change her or his track. By showing the importance of the belief in the self, we can get them to reconsider their own position in their own life.

REMEMBER THE DUCK, KEEP POSITIVE !! ...item 5....

Remember The Duck, Keep Positive !! …item 5.. Law Enforcement Prepares For FSU / Miami Game (Fri 7:05 PM, Nov 01, 2013) — The phone number, 850-645-JERK (5375) … (Photo credit: marsmet463)

When we ourselves can get ourselves and others to believe that outside events can’t create our attitude, we can come together to build up together a good attitude. It is wrong to think that we all have to do everything on our own. We should come more to think of a group, helping each-other on the  road to success.

Having come to more non-religous persons, most people have no connection any more with their ‘community‘. Most of them are not part of a parish or an active community. Lots of people live in a neighbourhood but do not know their neighbours personally. Often lots of activities in the community even happen without them noticing it. Sometimes this is also the fault of the community or the parish itself, not inviting the people which live in the neighbourhood, or restricting contact only to those who are member of the church. Lots of churches have forgotten to go out and to do preaching work or investing time in missionary work at their own place. You might find churches having collections for places far away and talking about mission work in countries far away, but their eyes are closed for their own region. There there has to be done lots of missionary work today.

It is important that a person gets that feeling of being part of a community. We need to feel part of something which is bigger than ourselves. We are not made to stay on our own. It does not mean we do have to be married or living together with somebody else. But there has to be a connection with others living around us.

The outside world will always throw challenges in its surroundings and we may not close our eyes for them plus we also do have to open eyes of others for them. Some Christians do think we may not involve ourselves in the politics of the world, but we can not close our eyes for the politics in our own surroundings. We should be aware of it and should protect the weaker ones for those who try to get power over others.

We have to create our attitude in response to how we think about the events going on in our environment. Living in a communal society we do have to decide how we are going to respond to those challenges and to our entourage. Here we do have to make our first choices, how to look at things, how to let it influence ourselves or others and to choose whether to respond negatively or positively to the things it shall come to bring to being. Everything which is said or done  shall request a reaction and shall have an influence on those around it.

Being aware of your position in the community is important to the feeling of yourself but also for the reaction you will create onto others. Having much more in your hands than you might think, you should come to see that really you too can bring lots of changes, not only to your self, but also to others.
This request a strong attitude form yourself and a willingness to help others.

We shall not deny that maintaining a positive attitude in the face of all of the daily challenges in life can be daunting. We may differ with each other, but we shall have to find ways  to live with each other. By respecting the thoughts of the other you too may gain respect from the other. You both can come to the conclusion that each of you might find way to live positively with each other.  It does not matter if you are white or coloured, if you are very highly educated or have a poor education, each one of you can contribute to the community.

Many challenges may be offered to us and the community we are living in. But when we join hands we shall be able to do more than just on our own. Each of us can do it. It’s a personal choice to believe the best about any situation. Start to become aware of what you are thinking and saying, and check in yourself what effect it can make what you our saying.

As soon as we come to the understanding that we all works in progress in we are on a good way to come to changes which can be positive. You should work at it – gently correct yourself when you’ve gone the wrong way and praise yourself when you get it right.

We should be aware that common notion such as ‘long hours and many years’ counts also for us. but we have to be careful how such idea would dictate our life patterns. Believing on ourselves we should pursue our dreams, letting also others know that dream and prove it could be possible to succeed and on our own terms.

In case the surrounding looks boring or unappealing to you, why do you not try to change something to it. Consider more pleasurable surroundings that involve activities you may like, but also know you yourself can bring changes in your own environment. Your attitude and energy level are at their best and your attention span is very keen since you are focusing on something you like.

When you meet people who have grown to believe they can not achieve success due to a variety reasons, why do you not show them too that other side of the coin you have found. Let them and come to see yourself that in fact they put more effort into producing reasons as to why they can not succeed than others may invest into becoming successful. Our and their focus should come onto the vision of success.

Teaching yourself to have a positive attitude takes gentle but consistent work, just like training a young pets or toddlers. Do it for yourself and help others to get on the process of developing a positive world together.

A positive attitude changes everything.

A positive attitude changes everything. (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

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 Complementing reading:

  1. Intentions of an Ecclesia
  2. Parish, local church community – Parochie, plaatselijke kerkgemeenschap
  3. Breathing to teach

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  1. 3 Vital Character Traits
  2. 5 Ways Your Mental Attitude Affects Your Success
  3. Fostering A Positive Attitude

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  • Beware of bad attitudes at the Church service (mahustlerszone.wordpress.com)
    You need to beware of bad attitudes at the Church service. Let me make this clear before I elaborate on this topic, that the church is not limited to a physical structure but in fact is every person who believes in Jesus Christ. Also a church service can happen even outside the walls of the church building. A bad attitude at the Church service won’t do you any good. Having lack of faith and trust in the Lord is not helpful. However, this can be corrected as your faith can increase while hearing from the preaching of the word of God.
  • Attitude (darkhighlander666.wordpress.com)
    a good attitude is when you are to do something and you do it without any reluctance.
  • The 5 Ways to Have a Great Attitude Despite a Bad Situation (davidsbodytemple.wordpress.com)
    Have wisdom to know when to have a bad attitude. After all, we are human, but we need to have wisdom when we can’t go anywhere but negative.  Jesus got negative when He entered the temple and drove the moneychangers out.  He got negative when the Pharisee’s tried to make Him look bad.  Pick your battles wisely.  The Holy Spirit will guild you.  We should always strive to be positive; negative should be a last resort, not the first resort.
  • What’s with that attitude? (motivatingdaily.com)
    We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”
  • I Got a New Attitude (changedmindchangedlife.wordpress.com)
    We spend our entire educational journey learning how your attitude determines your altitude.
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    My attitude is one of my biggest enemies. It tells me how to look at others and judge, it tells me how to criticize no progress, it tells me how to blame others for my failures, it tells me, I’m always right. What my attitude fails to tell me is,  at the end of the day I will be alone, because I choose to keep my attitude instead of my life.
  • ‘Love transforms everything,’ Pope tells sick, disabled (catholicnewsagency.com)
    “Jesus teaches us to live the pain by accepting the reality of life with trust and hope, bringing the love of God and neighbor, even in suffering: and love transforms everything,” the pontiff told the members of the Apostolate of the Suffering and the Silent Workers of the Cross on May 17.
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    Pope Francis said this positive attitude towards suffering was lived and taught by Blessed Luigi Novarese, who believed in “educating the sick and the disabled to value their suffering through apostolic action, carried out with faith and love for others.”

    “He would always say: ‘The sick must feel that they are the authors of their own apostolate,’” recounted the pontiff. “A sick person, a disabled person can become support and light for other people who suffer, in this way transforming the environment in which he lives.”

    Pope Francis urged the sick and disabled to give witness to the example of Christ in their own lives. “With this charism, you are a gift to the Church,” he said.

  • 4 Reasons Why People Don’t Respect Their Leaders (enmast.com)
    Many leaders are not aware of the great power and influence they have over their team. Both directly and indirectly, leaders set the tone, pace and emotional climate of a workplace. Consequently, their actions and attitudes are absorbed by every sponge-like staff member.
  • Maintenance as a Mission (engagethroughgrace.wordpress.com)
    God has given each of us unique callings – ways that He expects us to be involved in His mission of drawing lost people to Himself. He also equips us uniquely to accomplish our callings.
  • Healthy Living A to Z: A is for Attitude (espirational.com)
    Thoughts are highly contagious. Hang out with negative people and you will become negative. Find a group of positive people and you will find staying positive much easier. Watch the online communities you join as well.
  • We all got Attitude (pastorleonard.wordpress.com)
    Our attitude determines so much for us.  Here is a short list of where our attitude impacts the life we are building.

    Attitude is a huge influence in…

    Fait, Effort, Energy, Determination, Courage, Faithfulness, Relationships, Partnerships, Health, Peace joy and hope, How we treat others, How we handle adversity, How we parent, How we approach marriage

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What IF you’re only driven by stress?

As first posting I come to present something which is not of my own, but which I would like to share with you, because it can be a good lesson for all of us, how bad previous experiences can lighten us up and can let us conquer many negative things , by helping others.

The writer of this reblogged article is Eman Kawas, who had a very nasty experience in her life. There were times when people disappointed her and let her down, but those were the times when she had to remind herself to trust her own judgement and opinions, to keep her life focused on believing in herself and all that she was and is capable of.

Every person in this world caries her or his own story with awful but also nice experiences. All of us will have to face challenges to make in their life. The outside world may put pressure on us with many things. We should know we always should be in charge to make our own choices and that we can not be called guilty for those things which happened to us, without our consent.

In our life we often let us be carried away by bad experiences or let others ‘kill our spirit’ because of bad things they have done to us or like to do to us. At work, in our neighbourhood, in our circle of friends and family, we may encounter many circumstances which would like to impress on us positively but also negatively.

To make the best out of our life we first of all have to know where we stand and where  we would like to be. Before we can go forward in our life we get to get rid of all the ballast and do away all the dirt lying in front of us.
We have to take care we do not have to face a negative emotion that can produce negative experiences. Because once negative experiences are present, they can take us in a negative spiral, downward on the road instead of upwards. Basic daily events or tasks at hand, may never going to suck the good energies from us and turn them into negative energies. We may never let it come to a point where that what we have to do or to tackle comes to look like impossible or seems not to be solved.
We always should take care that we are able to be ready to undertake the ‘battle of life’. We should take care we do not come into a situation where we think the only solution would be to take a flight. We should always remember that we have to choose to fight our given problems and that we never should fear so much man, or run away from them. (the only One we should really fear is the Divine Creator God. )

When we become aware of too much stress we should think about going into the defence by ‘becoming calmer’ and by using the flight of the ‘own personality’, making sure that you start to regain your full positive energy from your life.

Never may we get carried away by thinking our stress is a sign of weakness. It is up to us to make us stronger by putting all experiences up to the good and to relative many issues. Sometimes taking distance of what bothers us can help. Going for a stroll or a nice walk in the green nature, calming us down and taking care we come not so stressful that we do come in a circle of depression.

A little bit of stress or anxiety can help us to stay alert and to stimulate us to undertake certain actions. Let us use it for our advantage to create new things and to be very active. But let it not destroy our creativity nor our aim to continue that what we believe would be good.
Therefore always keep faith in yourself, believe in yourself and in your own family and always ‘stay your self’ whatever the circumstances may be. Always keeping your own personality shall already avoid much of stress taking you down.

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To take in consideration:

Dangers:

  • whatever you achieve is not satisfying to you and something is always missing
  • constantly looking for something that you don’t know what it is

Signs:

  • faced by “sink or swim situations”
  • driven by negative impulses or stress
  • dissatisfaction
  • not feeling to achieve
  • feeling bored
  • cynicism
  • strange reactions from your part
  • short answers
  • mistrust
  • feeling like running on our toes
  • overeating, heart disease, hypertension, stroke

Avoid:

  • exposing yourself to long- term stress > causing physical dysfunction
  • let it drive you
  • neglect of spiritual life
  • loosing hopes, loves, dreams, plans
  • to be taken by the maelstrom of the earthly experience
  • negative people
  • constant noise(background music)
  • uncomfortable clothing (too tight shoes, hosiery, itchy sweater)
  • too much stuff, a cluttered home or office
  • disorder around you

Solutions:

  • see challenges as opportunities to succeed
  • set smart goals for yourself => Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely goals
  • remain positive > ready for opportunities that rise
  • bring a sense of connection, renewal and  energy
  • dare to think things over and try to meditate on it
  • let it be useful > if it was a short-term stress
  • keep people from stealing your joy
  • keep optimistic
  • concentrate on the nice things around you
  • seek someone else’s love and assistance
  • talk with someone close to yo, whom you can trust
  • be ready yourself for others
  • bless different circumstances and bless others around you
  • concentrate on the people with positive thoughts
  • concentrate on the positive thoughts in yourself
  • focus on shifting what drives you from stress to performance – from negative to positive –
  • nurture yourself as any garden does
  • realize > what truly makes a difference = way you see things.
  • Do know what your driver is
  • Remember Which Source you can have with you
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Additional reading:

  1. What is life?
  2. A philosophical error which rejects the body as part of the human person
  3. Materialism, would be life, and aspirations
  4. Searching for fulfillment and meaning through own efforts, facing unsatisfaction and depression
  5. Kitty Werthmann her account of growing up in Austria under Nazi regime
  6. Fragments from the Book of Job #7 Epilogue
  7. Fear knocked at the door
  8. 8 fears caused by the fear of Man
  9. Depression Is and When
  10. How do you keep people from stealing your joy?
  11. Seems no future in suffering
  12. Suffering
  13. Suffering – through the apparent silence of God
  14. Suffering continues
  15. Suffering leading to joy
  16. Surprised by time in joys & sufferings
  17. Words from God about suffering
  18. Working of the hope
  19. Getting out of the dark corners of this world
  20. Running away from the past
  21. Walking in the Light of Life
  22. Hope does not disappoint us
  23. If you do pray you shall not be disappointed
  24. Always a choice
  25. We have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace
  26. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
  27. Aligned
  28. To Work Longer or Die Younger
  29. We all have to have dreams
  30. Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement
  31. Peace Takes You
  32. Answering a fool according to his folly
  33. Feeling-good, search for happiness and the church
  34. Feel-good Factor?
  35. How to Feel Good About Yourself
  36. Ageing and Solidarity between generations
  37. Everything that is done in the world is done by hope
  38. Faith is knowing there is an ocean because you have seen a brook.
  39. Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark
  40. Hope does not disappoint us
  41. See the conquest and believe that we can gain the victory
  42. Change should not be stressful
  43. Happiness is like manna
  44. Spreading good cheer contagious
  45. Spark of Positivism
  46. Thanksgiving wisdom: Why gratitude is good for your health
  47. Importance of parents 1
  48. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
  49. Depression, Anxiety, Pressure and megachurches
  50. Breathing and growing with no heir
  51. Come ye yourselves apart … and rest awhile (Mark 6:31)
  52. United people under Christ
  53. Commit your self to the trustworthy creator

 

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Find also:

How to Relieve Stress. Stress. We all deal with it. Whether it be our jobs, family life, drama with friends, a relationship problem, or finances, stress is there.
How to Deal With Stress. Life can be stressful; sometimes you’ll have to deal with ongoing stress positively. Stress can have a variety of causes such as family …
Feeling stressed a lot? Having a way to relieve stress at your desk, in front of the TV, or wherever your health and one very simple way is to use a stress ball for …
wikiHow has Managing Stress how to articles with step-by-step instructions and photos.
How to Avoid Stress During the Holidays. Although the holiday season is supposed to bring joy and harmony to all, the many expectations that lay behind the …
http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Stress-During-the-Holidays
How to Beat Workplace Stress. People in many professions work well over the usual 40 hour work week and end up bringing workplace stress home with them.
How to Avoid Stress on the Internet. Believe it or not, using the Internet can be a major source of stress for some people. This article will offer some tips of …
http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Stress-on-the-Internet
Identify the cause of your stress. Is your heart pounding because that idiot just cut you off on the freeway, or is it because of that presentation you have to give to …
How to Reduce Stress. Reducing the stress in your life will take a lot of reflection and action, but it will be worth it. If you’re less stressed, you’ll be able to sleep …
  • Tackling stress in a tough climate (hiscox.co.uk)
    Not surprisingly their biggest source of stress is the fear of losing their business (57%). But pressures in today’s tough business climate are also putting an increasing strain on them. Many worry about losing clients (54%) or feel the pressure of bringing in new business (52%). A tailored professional indemnity insurance policy may help to mitigate these risks.

    If the business they have worked so hard to build is under threat, it’s understandable that company owners will try to keep as much of a work/life balance as they can while doing everything possible to keep the business afloat. However on a positive, most (68%) say they try to keep a good work/life balance.

    Many entrepreneurs would say they thrive on stress, that they make better decisions under pressure and have some of their best ideas when up against the clock. But stress is meant to be a temporary condition. If it becomes the norm rather than the exception in your working day it can quickly lead to burnout. Chronic stress can lead you to make poor decisions causing your business to suffer.

    It’s important for entrepreneurs to take steps to tackle stress so you can stay at the top of your game. Eat healthily, take exercise, get enough sleep, but also get away from work once in a while. Spend time with your family and go out with your friends. Put it in your diary if you have to. You’ll appreciate it. And so will they.

  • What Is Stress (debatabletopicsx.wordpress.com)
    You are not the only one with either personal or collective problems, because rest of the human kind can have deep predicaments with great fears. On the other hand, stress can find you, with a repeated daily tasks. This involves your entirety of your life. Now you must analyse everything about yourself, and understand how you ended up in such condition. Then take the right action or confront your greatest fear and solve the problem there and then. This may not be easy but when you accomplish your goal, your entire life may outlook into more easy times. You see, problems are not assignments to deals with, but they are part of life, to teach you, one thing, and that is to gain higher experience in life. This leads to complete knowledge of a certain wisdom in life.
  • The Karma of Stress. ~ Beatrice Bachleda (elephantjournal.com)
    It begins with one thing, and when we don’t get right down to the cause and take care of it, it begins to sneak into other things. Eventually the small things that we would never think about twice become the reason why we suddenly burst into tears or begin snapping at people we love.The problem with stress lies in our conditioning. It’s in the “agreement” we made that stress is a negative thing and must be demolished instantly or else we are to blame for its existence. The agreement says we “shouldn‘t let stress get to us.”
  • Why stress might not be so bad (thelondonuniversity.com)
    Much of what we know about the physical and mental toll of chronic stress stems from seminal work by Robert Sapolsky beginning in the late 1970s. [Sapolsky, PhD,] a neuroendocrinologist, was among the first to make the connection that the hormones released during the fight-or-flight response—the ones that helped our ancestors avoid becoming dinner—have deleterious effects when the stress is severe and sustained. Especially insidious, chronic exposure to one of these hormones, cortisol, causes brain changes that make it increasingly difficult to shut the stress response down.
  • Owning our Health: Taking control of stress (blogs.vancouversun.com)
    Cynicism is that nagging, negative feeling of mistrust and doubt due to a build-up of life’s ups and downs; its hurts and betrayals. Viewing life through mistrustful lenses, we are constantly on the alert and on the defensive – our fight or flight reactor permanently switched on. This negative viewpoint can silently drain us for years, going undetected and unnoticed.
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    To be healthier in every way, we need to consciously take care of this important part of us in a way that heals cynicism as well as other signs of stress. What’s needed is a rethink about how we view our world and our place in it.

    Understanding the circumstances that lead us to feel mistrustful, at risk, not valued or cared for and, thus, cynical is a great start. Often we find it is the continual remembering of a whole history of negative events that brings us to that stressed and cynical viewpoint. But we shouldn’t stop at just recognizing the problem.
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    Nurturing a spiritual practice builds a stronger, more rooted sense of unity with the divine. And, this builds a sense of stability, safety as well as new perspectives. The prayers of Jesus, for example, show us that in communing with God we can find a safe place where we can learn to see ourselves from a more spiritual standpoint, which allows us to respond to difficulties more effectively. Even in our darkest of moments, this action can redefine how we see the world – lifting the mistrust, anger, and fear that breed cynicism.

  • How the stress of our “always on” culture can impact performance, health and happiness (scopeblog.stanford.edu)
    During a recent Café Scientifique event, Palo Alto-based organizational psychologist Jay Azarow, PhD, discussed how our “always on” culture can negatively impact your performance, health and happiness. In the video above, he provides an overview of science-based yet practical approaches to reducing and managing stress, increasing energy and enhancing focus and productivity.
  • Planetary Healing: Take a Break from Stress (wesannac.com)
    Everyone gets stressed out at times, and here on earth, a lot of things can bring us down and make it much harder to re-find a good vibration if we let them. Our emotions and expressions affect the vibration of the entire planet, and to heal this world, it’s essential that we situate ourselves on a good vibration as much and as often as possible.

    It’s more than easy to dip into stress and frustration when circumstances in our lives allow for it, and here, I’d like to offer five things we can do when stressful situations pile on and make it harder to be in a positive space.
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    Remember that you’re never alone, and if you need to, take some time off from whatever’s stressing you out and ease into your unfolding higher-vibrational perception. In due time, stress will cease to bring people down like it has for so long, but for now, we have to be able to be here for each other when it gets the best of us.

    Stay strong, fellow seekers, because stress or no stress, our greatest work is just beginning.

 

 

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Quill Pen

images I am talking about when whatever you achieve is not satisfying to you and something is always missing, when you’re constantly looking for something that you don’t know what it is, then you still get things done but the motivation differs.
Those are signs that you are driven by stress, when you’re faced by “sink or swim situations” and that’s the only way that you would go above and beyond, then that’s when you realize you are driven by stress. A recent discovery took me to a place to see the reason I am dissatisfied, not achieved or maybe just bored.
Performance driven people are the ones that see challenges as opportunities to succeed; they tend to set SMART goals for themselves, no magic involved (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely goals) and remain positive to be ready for the opportunities that rise, on the other hand stress driven people perceive…

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