Tag Archives: Stress

Anxiety Management During Pandemic Days~

When living in Lockdown places, even in cities when still able to go some kilometres away from home, even if it has now become more limited in several places, those not limited by (1-1-1 or 1 person 1 meter from home at a time) may be happy to count themselves to the lucky ones who may still move around and should be enjoying to see all those things for which they previously had not taken enough time to notice them.

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To remember:

  • shrieking headlines > increasing anxiety, worry, sleep disruption, feelings of helplessness, panic, and/or depression.
  • some ideas that can help:
    • a customized anxiety toolbox to pick and choose
    • looking at positive images = objective + powerful anxiety reducer.
    • Self Talk Reframing (Cognitive Therapy)
    • Guided Imagination/Visualization
    • Exposure Management
    • Progressive Relaxation
    • Distraction in Action
    • Self Soothing
    • Spiritual Meditation/Prayer
    • Second Voice
    • Exercise, Diet & Good Health Practices
    • stay well informed + safe >> constant media onslaught = psychologically overwhelming + add to an unhealthy level of anxiety => reduce exposure to news.
    • Look for positive imagery +  Write blogs + stories.

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Continue reading: Hope on the Horizon: Pandemic Anxiety Management II~

Preceding

CoViD-19 warnings

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Please find also to read:

  1. Using fears of the deadly coronavirus
  2. Europe in Chaos for a Pandemic
  3. Making deeper cuts than some terrorist attacks of the near past
  4. The unseen enemy

Many of us are experiencing emotional distress from the pandemic which can affect each of us in different ways, but often presents as increasing anxiety, worry, sleep disruption, feelings of helplessness, panic, and/or depression.

The shrieking headlines don’t help do they? So what can we do to manage these feelings and feel stronger emotionally and psychologically as we prepare ourselves to face the difficult days ahead?

As a psychotherapist who has practiced for many decades, I have some ideas that can help. So if you are interested, read on.

We are going to make a customized anxiety toolbox. One approach doesn’t work for everyone, pick and choose what feels right for you. Of course I’m including relaxing photos intermixed in this post because looking at positive images is an objective and powerful anxiety reducer. What you perceive influences how you think and feel.

ANXIETY TOOLBOX:

Self Talk Reframing (Cognitive Therapy)

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Learning from ourselves

Often it are the setbacks that bring people back with their feet on the ground and have they rethink about their position in this world and in their life.

The most difficult part in our life is often to liberate ourself from the chain of vanity that may have caught us, and to get to learn that we better have to become an instrument in the Hands of our Creator, following His path He has laid out in front of us.

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To remember

“You teach best what you most need to learn.”  = line from Richard Bach’s book ‘Illusions’ running through mind

Marianne Williamson frequently shares very personal stories about her honest trials through life which makes her advice all the more more palatable

  • We share in our own ways + we learn in our own ways

 

today’s lesson = Humility.

  • ego wants to (and has been) defending self, making excuses, + trying to justify own actions
  • making way through personal feelings of remorse, embarrassment, + confusio
  • often advice we give to others = exact advice we need ourselves.
  • hold ourselves to some ridiculous standard of “perfection” => too self-conscious to admit struggle with things we advise others to do.
  • listen to ourselves +  realize things we passionately want to teach other people = things we, ourselves, truly want to learn + embody =>  vigilant level of self awareness + honesty

enhance + deepen relationships with others + ability to impact them in a positive way

1)  Be Honest

2)  Have Compassion

3)  Stop Trying to be Perfect =>  sense of freedom

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Preceding

I is for Incompleteness

Timeless Insights on Humility

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When I run after what I think I want,

Purplerays

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When I run after what I think I want,
my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety;

If I sit in my own place of patience,
what I need flows to me, without pain.

From this I understand that what I want also wants me,
is looking for me and attracting me.

There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.

~ Rumi

Text & image source: Mystic Path to Cosmic Consciousness https://www.facebook.com/Mystic-Path-to-Cosmic-Consciousness-143005819116554/

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When in doubt, Walkabout

It is known that walking is a good way to reduce stress and to get depression out of the way.

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French verb ‘resource’ = to refresh + replenish oneself, to re-source ourselves.

> feeling empty, a little down-in-the-mouth, => a nice long walk out amid the flora + fauna of Nature= kind of re-sourcing we need < connect to own source of life, true source

peripatetics‘  walked + thought, working out philosophical reasoning

Druids = philosophers of their tribes

==> walk on your own two feet from time to time = you won’t regret it!

Chaos Druidry

Artwork by seeker273 on DeviantArtArtwork by seeker273 on DeviantArt

In French the word ‘resource’, used as a verb, means to refresh and replenish oneself, to re-source ourselves.

When we’re feeling empty, a little down-in-the-mouth, a nice long walk out amid the flora and fauna of Nature can do just the kind of re-sourcing we need, as we connect to our own source of life, the true source, and no foot rub or spa or pots of facial creams will do exactly that.

But there’s more too. The ancient Greek philosophers had a ‘school’ of philosophy that called themselves the ‘peripatetics‘ since they walked and thought, working out their philosophical reasoning as they ambled around. A bunch of ponderous old guys in white robes…. sounds pretty druidic doesn’t it? Druids were the philosophers of their tribes. They were the judges and lawmakers – and to do that you have to be a careful…

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Negatieve stress omzetten in positieviteit


De juiste houding aannemen
kan een negatieve stress omzetten
in een positieve.
Hans Selye

English version / Engelse versie > Converting a negative stress into a positive one

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Converting a negative stress into a positive one


Adopting the right attitude
can convert a negative stress
into a positive one.
Hans Selye

Dutch version / Nederlandse versie > Negatieve stress omzetten in positieviteit

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you can’t wake a person that is pretending to be asleep

To remember

  • Learning to love parts of me that no one claps for. (Rudy Francisco)
  • Listening to myself > carrying a lot of unspoken stress.
  • Environment allowed to silence inner voice.
  • Want to feel that I am living the best life possible.
  • Did not give appropriate attention to blind spots in my life =>area where a person’s view is obstructed.
  • re-examine my life … again
  • We think we are safe in the bubble => we actually put ourselves in danger by becoming powerless.
  • group mentality doesn’t really offer fertile ground for creativity.
  • responsible for own moral + ethical landscape.
  • search for your blind spots
  • Examine your environment + ask hard questions
  • Freedom comes when we speak the truth. Even if our voices shake.
  • When truth revealed >  blind spot = weak spot.

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heart prints

I am still learning to love the parts of me that no one claps for.
(Rudy Francisco)

image

I was listening to myself speak lately and I realised that I was carrying a lot of unspoken stress. The emotions that I felt caught me completely off guard and I wondered why I allowed my environment to silence my inner voice.
I want to feel that I am living the best life possible.
I want to think that I am comfortable with my choices and that they are intentional.
I want to believe that I learned from previous mistakes and experiences.
I want people to experience me as a free spirit with an eclectic view on life.
Newsflash …!
I am so comfortable inside my own identity that I did not give appropriate attention to the blind spots in my life.

image

Blind spot: an area where a person’s view is obstructed.
“the…

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Detachment by Family problems

In the previous article Liza Borstlap writes

I came to believe that the conflict in my family had created itself.

It would be lovely if we all could grow up in very close lovely families which can give us everything we need. Though it does not work that way. The world is not made in such a way that all can be born at the right good place, in the right good class, receiving all the good education or even being all very bright.

First Lady Michelle Obama reads "The Cat ...

First Lady Michelle Obama reads “The Cat in the Hat” to children in Ms. Mattie’s class at Prager Child Development Center March 12, during her visit to Fort Bragg, N.C. The First Lady spoke with Soldiers and Family members as part of her initiative to care for military families. First Lady vows support for military families (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Even when all the material richness would be there when you are born in a rich family it does not mean you will find the luck to have a good relationship between all the members of that family.

Wherever we may be born in whatever for family we are just part of one big turmoil. Every day, people’s lives are touched by political, social, economic, and religious conflicts that tear the human family apart. In these conflicts, it is common for people to take sides — verbally or otherwise — with the nation, tribe, language group, or social class of which they are a part.
Even when people are not directly involved in some conflict, they often find themselves favouring one side over another. But regardless of which person or cause they endorse, to whom are they really giving support?

The Bible plainly states:

The whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one.” (1 John 5:19)

Families are not always such perfect units that shields the individual from a cruel society. Mostly we do find that in those families where there are no rules and morals and no eye for ethics the chances of getting derailed are grater than in religious families where certain religious rules go over the human will.

We must come to see we too can often be the cause of a problem. We too can be making problems even bigger than they are. Also by becoming indifferent for what goes on we can get ourselves in a deeper mess than we would love to see ourselves. Indifference in the end shall create emotional agitation and stress which shall become so unbearable that the person shall find no inner peace left. Danger then is that one tries to look for detachment, thinking it can preserve the self.

Another big problem is when people are not open enough to tell each-other what is on their liver. When not willing to let yourself be seen by the other like you are, you are that other person not giving the opportunity to get to know you, like you are really. It is by not having the open spirit to allow each other to be him or herself that restrictions are also laid on each other. When people than start remaining silent about the interference, the neglect, the labelling and toxic in-fighting, that often leaves a person with a limp and the frustration may ferment the malfunction in the own body as well as in the facility of being part of one united family.

It is not by secretly covering our own failures and mishaps until we can identify the black sheep that can take the blame, that we are going to come to a good solution. The opposite, that will bring us deeper in the well.

Deep in us may we find it screwing and tormenting. Our head can becoming spinning and looking for answers, but not seeing the places where those answers are easy to pick up. This deep-seated conflict between the desire to know and the inability to find the answer has tormented thinkers and philosophers throughout the ages. However, since God has put that yearning or desire in our heart, is it not logical to look to him to provide what is needed to satisfy that desire? After all, the Bible says of Jehovah:

“You are opening your hand and satisfying the desire of every living thing.” (Psalm 145:16)

For all those conflict which are between the family members, those persons should come to see what binds them, what makes it that they are brother and sister and that their is something in their blood which is more than special, even unique.

Even when we do feel so much hurt by our own family members, we should come over the point of being selfish and come to see that we can be a necessary link to heal the wounds made previously.

Being kind to those in our family involves following the admonition of the apostle Paul:

“Really put them all away from you, wrath, anger, badness, abusive speech, and obscene talk out of your mouth.”

Every day, Christian families should communicate with one another in a respectful manner. Why? Because good communication is the lifeblood of strong, healthy families. When disagreements arise, to smooth the conflict, try to solve the problem rather than win the argument. Happy family members make an earnest effort to promote kindness and consideration for one another. — Colossians 3:8, 12-14.

By turning to God’s Word, the Bible, we can find satisfying explanations about life and death and about God’s eternal purpose regarding the earth and the human family. — Ephesians 3:11.

Kindness is positive and makes us want to do good to others. Thus, we seek to be useful, considerate, and helpful in an agreeable manner with other family members. It takes both individual and collective effort to show the type of kindness that speaks well of a family. As a result, not only will they have God’s blessing but, in the congregation and in the community, they will honour the God of kindness, Jehovah. — 1 Peter 2:12.

When frustrated, when in conflict with members of the family it would be best to seek Biblical advice and to put your own “self” not in the centre but alongside all others in the family. By going to look for answers in the Holy Scriptures solutions may be found. Even when others do not want to know of God, you yourself will be able to change so much that your improved attitude shall be helpful to heal the wounds.

Seeing all the conflicts around us we also should try to become part of them. Best we take on a form of neutrality. Taking care of not to become misled with what is going on around us we should show others the other way to come closer to each other and to have agapé love.

We ourselves should know that our time on earth is limited and that we should make the best of it. Our hope should be in the coming new world, and it is that idea that we should share with those around us. Our task is to come up for others and to protect them, but we must know that we can not take them or ourselves out of this world. (John 17:15, 16) We live in this world and have to live with it, but that does not mean we have to live according to it. No, we have to live according to God’s Law and by following His word many blessings may come over us already in this life. By not wanting to be part of this world, but by being part of God’s world we shall find ways to bring the love of Christ over unto others as well and then the love of Christ may also grow deeper in us.  .

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Preceding articles:

When you stay in your lane, there’s no traffic.

Family happiness and little things we do

Families with four or more kids most happiest

.under the gazebo.

How to Raise a Happy Child

Crisis man needed in this world

Dissolve The Barriers You Created

What is important?

Learning that stuff is just stuff

72 Synod Fathers on the topic “The vocation and mission of the family in the Church and the contemporary world”

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Additional reading

  1. Behold, My mother and My brothers!
  2. Importance of parents 1
  3. Importance of parents 2
  4. Father and motherhood
  5. Youngsters, parents and the search to root in life
  6. Some one or something to fear #4 Families and Competition
  7. Teach children the Bible
  8. Poverty and conservative role patterns
  9. Dignified role for the woman
  10. Connection between women and environmental sustainability
  11. Three years ago and look back at several decennials ago
  12. Growing rift between observant parents and their children
  13. Synod of Bishops concerning minors
  14. Two synods and life in the church community
  15. Need to Embrace People Where They Are
  16. Conclusion of the synod of bishops for seeing the family in the light of the Gospel and church tradition
  17. Don’t be the weakest link
  18. I’m not a Mooch
  19. Patience is the ability to count down before blasting off
  20. Agape, a love to share with others from the Fruit of the Spirit
  21. Better loaves when the heart is joyous
  22. Jehovah’s Witnesses Shunning ex-members adverse effects on family relationships
  23. Agape, a love to share with others from the Fruit of the Spirit

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Further reading

  1. Conflict: Understanding Suspense
  2. Understanding others
  3. Understanding between religions
  4. Urges
  5. Subconflict, and Lots of It
  6. Fighting words: The role of conflict in fiction writing.
  7. No one listening? Then stop shouting, you might get heard
  8. The Rise and Fall of Action – for all levels
  9. Never Doubt Yourself
  10. Remembering Infinity: Caution…Egos at Work!
  11. Follow your heart when it’s in conflict with your brain!!!
  12. Can the World Bank Reduce Conflict in Nigeria by Providing Social Assistance?
  13. I Find my self conflicted
  14. Governance in a Mature Society, Part 2
  15. Communicating With Family – How to Let a Family Member Know They Hurt You
  16. Blessings and Duct Tape: How to Help Your Kids Get Along
  17. Stand Firm
  18. Hope For Battle Weary Mamas
  19. Family Conflict and Summer: The Best Time To Work Out Issues
  20. The father-child meeting
  21. The Problem With Beliefs
  22. Fighting With Your Spouse: How You Indirectly Effect Your Child
  23. 6 Tips for Handling Family Conflicts While Caregiving
  24. 10 Things You Need To Hear If Your Significant Other And Your Family Don’t Get Along
  25. Hurt People Hurt People
  26. Divorce: Part 1
  27. Divorce: Part 2, the minor problem
  28. Their’s Was A Perpetual Love Affair
  29. Depression: Postpartum Depression in Mothers
  30. Personality: The Birth Order Effect
  31. Frustration
  32. Finding Home
  33. The Very Best Way To Understand Grace
  34. Just like Granny told you, “Count your blessings!”

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Failures, mistakes and Initiatives for Excellence and success, Working towards turning a Dream of yours into reality

We all have to have dreams. Without dreams we shall not accomplish much in life.

Dr Austin Ejaife, [an Olorogun, the ‘Ugo’ of Agbon Kingdom] a Professional Tax, Audit, Accounting, Strategy and Global Corporate Governance Consultant, who also wants to be Motivational Speaker, Inspiration mover, Political Critic and Social Crusader with passion for good governance, advocacy and empowerment for Positive Change, reflects how he views and interpret real life issues, current news items from around the world and Nigeria in particular. But he has also some good food for thinking for those in the West as well.

He writes about are do’s and don’ts and knows we all make mistakes and have to live with them, but are better to look forward to the tomorrow which will come–and it is up to us how we choose to face the day ahead of us.

The mistakes of yesterday are in the past, and with the right attitude and some effort, today will find us making fewer. {Leave Yesterday’s Mistakes In The Past… And Bring The Lessons With You So That You Will Not Repeat Them}

English: Some APEX teen leaders were invited t...

Some APEX teen leaders were invited to a breakfast (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In our previous article we looked at some celebrities. Several highly placed people or those who are in the picture for a while may get a certain attitude. It is not weird or strange to find leaders filled with abnormal hubris lacking internal validation. Dr. Austin Ejajaife tells about some wonderful studies, that shows the corroding effects of ego and how leaders are more likely to suffer from disease of fixing fat compensation, acquiring other firms and engaging in other risky strategies to feed their egos. Leaders ought to cultivate humility. {Initiatives For Excellence: Avoiding Arrogance of Power}

Successful people are able to come into the danger zone, becoming a leader, or anyone in a position of power and authority, having to avoid the trap of arrogance of power.

Everything rises and falls on leadership,”

says Dr. John C. Maxwell,

“but knowing how to lead is only half the battle. Understanding leadership and actually leading are two different activities.” {Initiatives For Excellence: 12 Major Signs Of Leadership In Danger (I)}

Dr Austin Ejaife *(Ugo1)* writes

World leaders attending the Progressive Govern...

World leaders attending the Progressive Governance Conference 2009 in Chile. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The key to transforming yourself from someone who understands leadership to a person who successfully leads in the real world is character. Your character qualities activate and empower your leadership ability, or they can stand in the way of your success
Dr. Ted Engstrom  says that organisation succeed or fail for many different reasons.

Even the mature organization or nation is not without its hazards. In many ways the dangers that it faces are more subtle. They are often the result of success rather than failure. {Initiatives For Excellence: 12 Major Signs Of Leadership In Danger (I)}

We would say it is not only leadership in danger but also for our own success we have to be careful not to settle for the status quo. We also should know that new ideas shall bring with them a conflict of interest, and conflict of interest brings internal tension. We continuously have to work around those feelings and cope with that internal tension.

Quality is far more important than quantity. Size or quantity must always be secondary to the effectiveness. Discriminating between breadth and depth is not easy. That is why there is a real danger here. Leaders may have a great desire to expand throughout and beyond our community or to the rest of the world, but if the quality of our products or services is not being continually strengthened, then, we may discover that we have over-extended ourselves. {Initiatives For Excellence: 12 Major Signs Of Leadership In Danger (I)}

We always should know ourselves and have to be realistic what we can do and what we can handle, never forgetting to listen to others and to look around us, noticing what is going on and how society reacts to certain things. One of those dangers when looking around is that we view a situation from a limited point of view.

The only failures that really exist are choosing to hold onto limiting thoughts such as, “There is nothing we can do to move beyond this situation.” Life is a series of decisions. If something didn’t work out in the past, accept what happened as being an incident from the past, and be willing to move on. If we are spending time trying to change the past, we have limited ourselves from moving forward. Please remind yourself that we cannot change what has already happened. We can change how we feel about past situations. {Turn Your Failure Into Accomplishment!}

Reality (Dream album)

Reality (Dream album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lots of people look up at what they think may be the success or happiness of somebody else. They keep comparing themselves with others and get pulled down or frustrated. By doing so they often are limiting themselves.

Limiting beliefs always create limited outcomes. Limited thinking also keeps us stuck from moving beyond the imaginary walls known as our comfort zones. If we really wish to turn failure, disappointment, or frustration into something positive, we need to be willing to step out of the comfort zone arena. Whenever we approach any situation in a limited manner, it is because we are holding onto excuses and fear. When we feel limited or challenged usually also results in feeling discouraged.

Discouragement translates into more excuses; and eventually because of thinking from a limited point of view causes us to stop working on achieving our goal(s). By understanding that in order to experience disappointment or failure, if we can recognise that we made a decision to stop, quit or give up, is only a decision. This incredible insight suggests that if we were to make better decisions we can turn the whole thing around. {Turn Your Failure Into Accomplishment!}

We should remember

When working on goals, instead of approaching the situation as difficult, vague or impossible, let us begin by changing our point of view. By beginning to use positive intentions helps us to view tasks as being possible and manageable. We are changing what we are holding in mind. Instead of responding with,

“Maybe tomorrow… or giving yourself some other excuse,”

make a decision that focuses on easily completing the task. A better response would be,

“I can easily take care of this,”

and give yourself a reasonable period of time to accomplish the task (i.e. by the end of day, week, or month, etc.). By approaching tasks as easy, and also providing a reasonable timeframe, allows us to take the appropriate actions to accomplish the task without getting discouraged. {Turn Your Failure Into Accomplishment!}

The writer of the blog which we advice you to visit, is convinced that

We are marvellous and unique beings, created by a loving God for a purpose that is quite perfectly our own.

Who is to say that our dreams have to be like theirs, or anyone else’s in this world for that matter? Just because someone else dreams of amassing new things, more power, greater wealth, or more fame, does not mean we, too, share the same passion. Perhaps we just want to travel the world more, or dream of a simpler life with less stress and more peace. {Work Towards Turning A Dream Of Yours Into Reality}

Looking at what Douglas Everett says:

“There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.”

Ejaife thinks there is more than simply realizing that we are in charge of choosing our own dreams in life.

We must also realize that within us, we possess the ability to turn those dreams into our reality, if we but dare to take the necessary steps to make them come true. What did you dream of as a child? Have you realized any of those dreams? What do you dream of today? How do you feel when you are focused on those dreams? As children, we often allowed ourselves to dream with the idea that any one of those dreams could come true. But as we grow older, we often times buy into what other people consider reality, and our dreams get pushed aside, packed away, and perhaps even forgotten. {Work Towards Turning A Dream Of Yours Into Reality}

When looking at the screen of your television and hearing about all those celebrities, remind yourself that all that fame is temporarily and does not always brings that luck hoped for.

Ejaife brings questions to consider. We should think about what we want to do in our life and with our life. We should ask ourself why we are so often afraid to tackle certain issues.

Why do we often put our dreams on hold?

How can we go about turning our dreams into our realities?

What differences do you see between dreams and reality?

For further thought:

“Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.” ~ Anais Nin

> Please do read:Work Towards Turning A Dream Of Yours Into Reality and find more interesting articles by Dr Austin Ejaife

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Preceding articles:

The Goal

Attitude of Unstopable Success

Gender connections

Getting fate in your change to positiveness

Helping to create a Positive Attitude

Material wealth, Submission and Heaven on earth

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Find also to read:

  1. Why “Selfishness” Doesn’t Properly Mean Being Shortsighted and Harmful to Others
  2. Subcutaneous power for humanity 5 Loneliness, Virtual and real friends
  3. Opportunity!
  4. At first looking like a loss
  5. Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement
  6. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places
  7. Fear of failure, and fear of the unknown
  8. Some one or something to fear #4 Families and Competition
  9. Failing Man to make free choice
  10. Let not sin reign in your mortal body

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Here and Now

For years scientists warned politicians, but they would not listen and the citizens only thought of what was good for them at that moment, not interested to learn about the impact of their ecological and carbon footprint. No matter what happens nature shall show mankind that it is always stronger than the human being, which has to learn by falling and standing up again.

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To remember

rainfall causes problems to roads, cars, and rail travel => Movement restricted

towns + surrounding areas plagued by floods this winter.

recollection of previous winters = cold mornings with frost covered lawns + a wind that slaps your face with a chilling sting

ground not prepared as no drainage is available + waterways are not viable

foliage not resting as trees + flora remain green > earth rest less

environmental change on animal life > effects of stress, lack of sleep + tiredness

wildlife struggle to maintain their habitats

Medicinalmeadows

image (2)My town and its surrounding areas have been plagued by floods this winter. Movement from town to town is restricted as rainfall causes problems to roads, cars, and rail travel. It seems to be raining for a season. My recollection of previous winters has been cold mornings with frost covered lawns and a wind that slaps your face with a chilling sting. If wet, lingering rain and floods are to be our depths of winter then we are certainly not prepared. The ground is not prepared as no drainage is available and waterways are not viable. The foliage is not resting as trees and flora remain green. I wonder what fauna make of all this weather? What effect is this environmental change having on the animal life?

robinIn our current ways of living we know the effects of stress, lack of sleep and tiredness. Will the earth rest less, will wildlife struggle to maintain…

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