Two Unconventional Ways to Self-Soothe

The Curious Mag

Published on Happinez Magazine on the 18th of July. Article here

Worry, anxiety, stress, frustration, and sadness are a part of life that no one is excluded from experiencing. As we become adults, we have to learn to stand on our own two feet – especially when it comes to handling our emotions (this is of course not including the help that we can receive from our friends, families, therapists, and/or support groups). We might develop certain coping mechanisms or self-soothing techniques that help us get by and get through the tough times. 

DeAndre Bush

What is self-soothing?

Self-soothing is defined as an individual’s efforts or capacity to calm oneself while in a state of emotional distress. When you find yourself experiencing negative emotions, not only is it important to sit with your feelings but also to not let yourself plummet or spiral into an emotional state that has you…

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At the end of the day…

Purplerays

.

“At the end of the day, right now, right here, wherever you are, you can make a choice to be present and happy and fulfilled.”

• Eric Lange

Wishing you many beautiful evening blessings… May this night sprinkle lights of Love and Peace on your dreams…. ❤️☀

Text and image source: Mitra Shahidi https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=3148524425415490&id=100007738899262

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A Friend Like You

In a time when many have to seek refuge, crawl unexpectedly under the table or seek refuge at the alarm signals, friendship is one of the most special necessities to keep each other straight.

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Preceding

No Friendship is an accident

Friendship born

The one who knows who you are and where you have been

Someone needs …

One of the tasks of true friendship

. . . he who plants kindness gathers love.

What are friends and friendship

A true friend is like the air…

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Additional reading

1. Offering words of hope
2. Gandhi’s Prayer for Peace
3. The Golden rule not always as easy as its sounds
4. Alternative four letter words
5. Friendship and Offer for the cause of democracy
6. Subcutaneous power for humanity 3 Facing changing attitudes
7. Subcutaneous power for humanity 4 Not crossing borders of friendship
8. Subcutaneous power for humanity 5 Loneliness, Virtual and real friends

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Related

1. Companion
2. Broken bonds
3. So let’s talk about anxiety…
4. Of Love: Space
5. Sidelined
6. Friendship Breakups Don’t Get Any Easier in Our 50s
7. My Most Treasured Things / Mis Cosas Más Preciadas
8. The man who had a pair of pliers in his back pocket
9. The Little Things
10. Summary of the essay of friendship by Francis Bacon

Purplerays

.

A Friend Like You

There’s lots of things
With which I’m blessed,
Tho’ my life’s been both Sunny and Blue,
But of all my blessings,
This one’s the best:
To have a friend like you.

In times of trouble
Friends will say,
“Just ask… I’ll help you through it.”
But you don’t wait for me to ask,
You just get up
And you do it!

And I can think
Of nothing in life
That I could more wisely do,
Than know a friend,
And be a friend,
And love a friend… like you.

By Anon.

Artist Inge Look.

Text and image source: Snowwolfs Woodland Nook https://www.facebook.com/531188960392510/posts/2082553225256068/

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Grief and Gratitude

 

A Day Dreamer's Diary

How do you describe a grief for a person you haven’t met in 10 years or weren’t best friends with, but it just sits heavy and hurt in the middle of your chest for more than a week now but you do know they meant the world for their family.
You remember  their gentleness, their distinct humor, their goodness, their simplicity and a tear rolls down , just like the rain drops on this window glass.
I remember the teenage girl with twinkling eyes and contagious laughter, I haven’t met the wife and mother she became in last decade. Our well being was communicated to each other through our families which are neighbours and friendly.
We were always keen to receive news of the other and wished only goodness.
Her sudden passing  has  shook me deep, out of the autopilot mode my life tend to switches despite my continuous efforts…

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…everybody has something!

 

Purplerays

Nobody has everything, but everybody has something.
Use what you have right now! Use it wisely, freely, with love.
Wherever you are, use your time, energy and talents to do the best you can right now.

Photo & text credit: Iyanla Vanzant
https://www.facebook.com/DrIyanlaVanzant/?fref=photo

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At the end of the day…

Dutch translation / Nederlandse vertaling: Aan het einde van de dag…

Purplerays

At the end of the day, you can either
focus on what’s tearing you apart
or what’s holding you together.

Text and image credit: Spiritual Awakenings https://www.facebook.com/SpiritualAwakenings/

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The Struggle Ends When Gratitude Begins

In these times of Coronavirus, we do find so many people in quarantine complaining, whilst they have now so much time for themselves.

For many, it should be the ideal moment to get their house cupboards and house cleaned and to put themselves at ease taking time for consideration and meditation.

Hopefully, lots of people shall now being able to find several little things of much pressure value and shall come to appreciate much more what is around them in the house as well as outside in nature.

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To remember

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – Anonymous

• When things seem tough = easy for all positivity to lose its place in our heart.
• consult life in a deeper way => find an endless amount of things to be grateful for.
• get to endure life’s tiny pleasures > sunrise, sunset, water, food, shelter, peaceful walk in nature, comforting warmth of the sun or heathing in the house,

> realize that there are some people who don’t even have access to the simplest of things.

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Preceding

Many opportunities given by God

If you keep your faith and trust in God

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Additional reading

1. The unseen enemy
2. In denial, Donald Trump continues to insist that nothing serious is at hand and everything is in control
3. Zeman Chereisenu – the time of our freedom
4. Thanksgiving wisdom: Why gratitude is good for your health
5. 20 Best Gratitude Quotes
6. Call to help others
7. Trusting, Faith, Calling and Ascribing to Jehovah #11 Prayer #9 Making the Name Holy

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – Anonymous

When things seem tough, it is so easy for all the positivity to lose its place in my heart. But as I am beginning to consult life in a deeper way, I am starting to find an endless amount of things to be grateful for.

When I see homeless people from time to time, having to sleep on the streets all night, every night, I often think to myself, “What right do I have to show my frustration and complain about the tiniest of things that bother me?”

I live in a world where I get to wake up in the morning, breathe normally, and have a beating heart. I get to enjoy today, and hopefully wake up again tomorrow. I have the loveliest family, the most incredible friends, the yummiest food, that sometimes I feel like we take so many…

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Pandemic Anxiety Busters~

Continuation of

Anxiety Management During Pandemic Days~

Hope on the Horizon: Pandemic Anxiety Management II~

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To remember

Have tools in your awareness => improve your mood + ease your anxiety

> practices boost immune system + improve our emotional + psychological health.

Committing to service of development of a relationship with an intelligence present within us > greater than our own = relating more deeply to our inner nature

In times of serious stress like a pandemic, turning inward spiritually, connects us outward, bringing calm and comfort

 

• Spiritual Meditation/Prayer
  • paying attention to our inward self + inner voice > “introvert,” “extravert” and “synchronicity => real inner change, genuine achievement of a new attitude.
  • aim of the unconscious: the further filling out of ourselves; an increasing completeness in the unique being that we are.
  • Anima or Animus > our inner opposite sex figure & soul guide
• Second Voice
  • practice listening for your second, more rational thought
  • have a second thought => giving a more helpful + accurate option
• Exercise, Diet & Good Health Practices

 

• • Taking time to clear your mind of worries & concerns > focusing your attention on bigger picture
  • Prayer + spiritual meditation = connecting ourselves to greater whole => profoundly comforting.
  • Exercising creative pursuits + talents => spiritually connected.

Fully live in the moment + feel gratitude for being alive.

daily relaxing, distracting, + fun activities

In the last two posts we started filling our anxiety busting toolbox and we are now down to our final three tools.*

Thank you to all the bloggers who added their own personal tools that work. They are most helpful and are incorporated into our toolbox. Choose any tool(s) that might work for you, and discard any/all that are not a good fit for you. Add more of your own resources that work. Adapt your toolbox to suit yourself. The most important thing, regardless of the specific tools, is to have tools in your awareness, to improve your mood, and ease your anxiety, when bad things happen.

Here is our toolbox:

ANXIETY TOOLBOX:

Self Talk Reframing (Cognitive Therapy)

Guided Imagination/Visualization

Exposure Management

Progressive Relaxation

Distraction in Action

Self Soothing

Second Voice

Spiritual Meditation/Prayer

Exercise, Diet & Good Health Practices

SECOND VOICE

Carl Jung emphasized the importance of paying attention to…

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Altitude begins with an attitude of gratitude

Altitude begins with an attitude of gratitude.

‘…with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard you hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.’
Philippians 4:6-7

Dear God, I direct my eyes on You and trust You with all my heart.
I wouldn’t be without You.
Without your help I would not have moved much further in this wicked world.
Let me help You to make Yourself known to others
and let me enjoy Your benefits and share them with others in all simplicity.

Dutch version / Nederlandse versie > Hoogte begint met een houding van dankbaarheid.

Learn to say “Thank you”!

When your partner does something for you or gives you something as a show of their love, you need to show respect by expressing some gratitude; just say “thank you”.

Ingratitude is a sign of disrespect implying that you feel entitled to whatever you have been offered, hence no need to show gratitude. When you say “thank you” for whatever your partner does for you or gives you, you are simply appreciating their love and communicating your own love, respect, and admiration for their show of love. As a sign of respect, you must learn to say thank you, even for the little things!

– Josiah B. Andor, PhD (Director, Paraklet Love and Life Consultancy).

A Million Ways To Live: Al Muhyi (The One Who Gives Life)

When we start our life we do not have any specific dreams or aspirations; When we start seeing all those attracting things around us we want to get up from our four pats to stand up on two limbs and to come to conquer the world around us. We start having lots of dreams and lots of aspirations, but when we get older we encounter also lots of defeats and disillusions.

Somehow deep in our heart we may feel a certain call, a cry that there could be an Al Khaleeq (The Creator), but most people do not want to know about some One Who is Greater than they and has their life in His Hands. But without this Divine Creator man shall have to find that life is empty and time is restricted, coming to see that in this life we shall never get to that high point of total fulfilment.

When finding Allah the Exalted, or the God above all gods, we shall be able to grow and find peace in our heart, how much other people may try to destroy the good name of Allah and want to bring fear over the world, blaspheming Allah and besmearing the Muslim community.

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To remember

dreams sketched in your duas  (= your very essence of worship) > visuals you created in your mind > voice out to Allah = like statues made of clay.

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Preceding article

Reflections on Existence and Teaching

Engagement in an actual two-way conversation with your deities

Get up & Move on

Getting out of the dark corners of this world

Why “Selfishness” Doesn’t Properly Mean Being Shortsighted and Harmful to Others

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Additional reading

1. It is Today
2. A time for everything
3. A tongue to speak slowly and well-considered
4. To whom do we want to be enslaved
5. Old Man of Prayer
6. Death

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Further reading

1. Looking For Grace: Al Lateef (The Subtle One)
2. No Ordinary Shephard:Al Waasi (The All Encompassing)

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Related articles

• Pride in London condemns Islamophobia in ‘Allah is gay’ row
• In Mississippi, a Muslim community fears its end
• BELLWETHER: Now he’s sorry! California imam preaches sound bites of hate
• A La Carte (August 7)
• He Set The Course For Victory
• Give Us This Day Our DAILY Bread!
• Water Your Spiritual Life

Musings Corner

The dreams that you have sketched in your duas, the visuals that you have created in your mind about how that “moment” would look like, the imaginary rehearsal sessions in your washroom where you prepare for the “feeling” lest you dont feel silly- we all have these dreams. Getting that degree or that job, that dream marriage, that dream family, driving your dream car or unpacking at your dream home; all of us have so many things we want, wish for, ask for.
The wishes and duas we voice out to Allah are like the statues made of clay. In our limited capacities, thats the closest we can be to the reality we want to have. So we need Al Muhyi to give life to those statue like dreams, by making them real in flesh and blood. So ask Al Muhyi to give life to your duas by manifesting them…

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Gratitude Quotes # 9

Every moment of the day is good to call onto the Most High. Each moment and certainly when we do feel we are drowning in quicksand are the moments we should know Who we do have to fear and Who we can trust shall come to our help.

 

Purplerays

Do not only go to The Father,
In tears and aching heart,
In fear and doubt,
To prostrate and tremble,
To lament and beg!

Remember also The Father,
With shining eyes and joyful heart,
Confident of His Promises,
To say but a short prayer,
Thank You Lord, Amen!

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How the Story Ends

 

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Source of Inspiration

Mixed feelings
when a good book ends
leaving me wanting more
yet satisfied at the same time.
I want my story
to end the same way,
wanting more
yet also happy
to have lived
a satisfied tale.

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Positive – Negative being positive, negative or positive

Making Positive Positive: A Song of Hope for PLWHAs

When is positive negative
Or right wrong?
It is when living positive

I am living positive:
Now, more responsibly
I take responsibility for all my actions;
My life in my hands
I choose life over death
Wellness over sickness

I am a living ‘positive’
Now, more rightly, living and doing
Surrounded by all that is positive
I make the best of now
Enjoy this moment, one at a time

I am overcoming positive
With gratitude for everyday mercies
Finding and enjoying beauty and bounties, abound about:
the smile of a child; the chirps of the birds
the swinging music of the street trees;

I am positive; HIV positive
I am a living witness; a survivor of the scourge
I am living, I am positive
Positively positive

I am a HIV survivor
Beyond the put down of virus
Above societal stigma
I am living, I live
Making positive, positive

People living with hiv aids

ifedayo oshin

Ifedayo Oshin from Ondo, Nigeria,  believes in life and living it well and writes on all issues that affect humanity.

World map of travel and residence restrictions against people living with HIV/AIDS. blue: no specific entry and regulation targetting people with HIV/AIDS. orange: information is contradictory, restrictions are possible. red: entry and residency restrictions confirmed. gray: no information on the situation in the country. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Related articles

• Is HIV/AIDS disability? (times.co.zm)
  If we take condition as a point of identification we can safely say may be they are also disabled because people living with HIV/ AIDS are at high risk of becoming disabled permanently or episodic basis as a result of being HIV/AIDS positive.
  However, our society negative attitude against people living with HIV/AIDS may be change of this declaration is made because relatives spent a lot of money in trying to find a cure for the loved one but if the World Health Organization (WHO) publicly declare that the condition for people living with HIV/AIDS is permanent like any other conditions attitudes will change and stigma reduced.
  People living with HIV/AIDS end up using crutches or wheel chairs as the disease prolong the fact that many of us we have seen within our families or communities so calling them disabled would not change anything but open the closed door and remove force hopes created by society that one day the condition will change for better
  This “cross cutting of disability” principle implies the responsibility to integrate disability issues in the main stream of health policies and practice of all Government ministries rather than handling disability as a matter of social welfare sector or charity but as a developmental agenda with focus on promoting inclusive approach.
• Correlates of Social Exclusion and Negative Labeling and Devaluation of People Living with HIV/AIDS in Rural Settings: Evidence from a General Household Survey in Zambézia Province, Mozambique (plosone.org)
  A 4-point increase in knowledge about HIV transmission was associated with more than a 3 unit decrease in NLD and SoE stigma scores (p<0.001). Given HIV transmission knowledge, a 25-point increase in legal rights certitude was associated with a 4.62 unit drop in NLD stigma (p<0.001); we did not detect an association between legal rights certitude and SoE stigma. Knowing at least one HIV positive person was associated with lower SoE (−3.17, 95% CI: −5.78, −0.56); no association with NLD (p = 0.1) was detected. ART efficacy belief was associated with higher NLD and lower SoE (2.90 increase and 6.94 decrease, respectively; p≤0.001)
• Guyana not on track to close AIDS resource gap by 2015 – National AIDS Committee (guyanatimesgy.com)

  The National AIDS Committee (NAC) said Guyana is not on track to close the AIDS resource gap by 2015, despite prolonged calls for the government to plan for the scaling down by donors.

  NAC in its World AIDS Day statement said it is still awaiting the release of a report emanating from consultations organised by the Health Ministry, the National AIDS Progamme Secretariat and UNAIDS on this issue.

  The NAC said that such findings or recommendations (in the report) could contribute to innovative thinking, not only around new sources of funding, but on how best to reduce and/or retain the HIV qualified and committed personnel, either on special and/or normal contracts.

   

• Over 67,000 HIV positive persons receiving free treatment in Benue State (vanguardngr.com)
  Over 67,000 People Living with HIV/AIDS, PLWHAS are currently receiving free treatment and care in designated centers established by the Benue state government.
  +
  Dr. Abunku stressed that the renewed onslaught includes “increase awarenes of the general public on the benefit of HIV counseling and testing and anti-retroviral therapy as well as the increased intakes of HIV   and AIDS services and products in the communities which has greatly facilitated the achievements that have been recorded sor far.”
• Africa’s HIV stigma threatens AIDS battle (thestar.com)
  It’s a scene oft repeated across sub-Saharan Africa, where young women account for a quarter of new HIV infections and where AIDS remains a devastating scourge. The problem is especially acute in southern nations like Mozambique, where 7 per cent of all teenage girls are HIV-positive. That number doubles to 15 per cent by age 25, according to a report by the Joint United Nations Program on HIV/AIDS released last week.
• AIDS Orgs Commend Gov. Cuomo’s Move to Keep PLWHAs Housed & Fed (fngnutrition.ca)
• Quality of Life of People Living with HIV/AIDS under the New Epidemic Characteristics in China and the Associated Factors (plosone.org)
  A cross-sectional study was performed in Liaoning Province. Sample size (800) was calculated based on the fatality rate and enlarged with consideration on the loss of response. Participants were sampled by tables of random numbers among all registered PLWHA. Questionnaires pertaining to quality of life (SF-36) and related factors (demographic characteristics, social support and network, HIV/AIDS awareness, and behavior factors) were distributed during December 2010-April 2011. 783 effective responses were obtained.
• Arky: Oshin is back! (playingwithsid.blogspot.com)
  Did you watch Oshin the Japanese television drama growing up?. The story of seven-year old Oshin from an impoverished farming family sent to work as house maid caught the imagination of audience around the world.

With Positive Attitude

We can see lots of faces around us. When we look carefully we can see through them different characters and different moods, which can influence others.

Not in million, a single face
Can have similar traces
Is it not great design by invisible scientist?
Still we refuse to believe and act as atheist

Did any one think about existence?
Why we stress more on religion at once?
Why we still leave it to the grace of almighty?
Whatever rich treasure we have but we live on pity

How many changes can one make on face?
Let him have freedom to have as many changes
I think not more than thousand faces can be made
Thank God, he has not given any one the secret of trade

We have billions of population
Each carries different kind of identification
Even face lines differ with each individual
Such is beauty with almighty to tackle

So we pray and surrender
Go to sacred place and offer
Out sincere gratitude
With positive attitude

hasmukh amathalal

Hasmukh Amathalal has about 300 poems but yet not published in book-form.

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Related articles

• “Where’s your attitude of gratitude?” (contemplativeandwordy.wordpress.com)
  I have decided that I should be reflecting on all the blessings in my life right now. And that even though I am really disliking the position I’m in right now, there are many people out there who would kill for the opportunities I have been given.
• Gratitude 365 (moretolifetoday.wordpress.com)
  It’s a proven fact that an attitude of gratitude contributes to our well-being. Everyone is looking for a pill to cure this or that. I have found that a daily dose of gratitude will help you feel better!
• Attitude of Gratitude (calebkeegan.wordpress.com)
  I don’t always understand why I’m going through what I’m going through but I do know that in the future I will look back with an understanding and I will be grateful for the experience.
• Gratitude is an Attitude… so says the President of the United States (selahvtoday.typepad.com)
  lest we forget from that which we came
• There will always be rich and poor people in society (guyanatimesgy.com)
  The logic of hate and unforgiveness perpetuates a lie and will destroy the possessor more than it destroys the victim. That lie has eternal consequences, beware of such inner deception for the man and the architect of the placard needs help. The biggest price he will pay is within his own soul that thinks the “rich” owe him something. The rich and the poor respectively are the causes of their own problems.
• Smile, Attitude Is Everything (afriendofjesus2013.com)
  I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me. ~ Philippians 4:13
• Positive Affirmations: I have an attitude of gratitude… (thinkbrilliantly.com)
  My attitude reflects a heart filled with appreciation for the things I have. I am humbled whenever I count my blessings because I know that there are many who are in less fortunate situations.I am grateful because my Creator continues to bless me out of love. I seek to treat others with the same love and shower them with gratitude.
• Today’s Word With Joel &Victoria Osteen – Scatter Your Enemies (todaysanewday.wordpress.com)
  What are you letting arise in your life? In other words, what are you focusing your words, energy and thoughts on? You might say, “Oh, it’s just so hard right now. My finances are tight.” “My health doesn’t look good.” “Somebody walked out on me.” No, you’re focusing on the wrong things. You’re letting defeat, discouragement and self-pity rise up. Why don’t you turn that around and say, “God is still in control. Somebody may have walked out on me, but I know God is going to bring me somebody better.” “I may be hurting right now, but I know God is the restorer of my soul.” “I may have an unexpected debt, but I know God is my provider. He is supplying all of my needs. He is fighting my battles.”
• Attitude (meandtheboss2013.wordpress.com)
  Your living is determined not so much by what lifebrings to you as by the

  attitude you bring to life

• Vlog: Gratitude and OMG moments!! (angelatamayo.com)
  Having a Gratitude attitude will change your life every day. The more that you give thanks for what you already have, you say yes, to the Universe. You raise your frequency level to attract more of what you want into your life. Here’s how I keep my attitude of gratitude going, all day!