When we go and look for help we also should look fro the priorities of that organisation by whom we knock at the door.
Having people giving endless lectures from puberty onward about the interests of boys, from a wrong viewpoint does not help either. Catholic institutions often did not help bringing up the children to be strong enough to be themselves and to be able to cope, resist and or communicate with persons of the other sex.
In many extreme religious countries we have seen fundamentalist groups and others terrorising the female sex. Often women were considered as the lower species to bring forth the next generation and to be a puppet ‘spiel’. Many boys who got that education as well used those of the other sex as their toy. They were brought up that way. Who can blame them?
At the beginning of this 21st century the West carries still many scars of the previous century where unwanted children or babies of young girls were considered as the bad in the world which had to be cast out and the girls punished. We would not like to think how many boys or man did got away unpunished, whilst they left an unhappy girl behind.
Shame and intimidation were the easiest tactics which could bring people down. But there were also many girls who came out of it much stronger and being much more aware of this precious life.
Some went looking for their child which was taken away from them at birth. Those who got an abortion had it more difficult facing the dark spot in their life. For many of them it was like an eating cancer making them rot away in grieve.
Several countries hoped to regulate and control abortions and help children who became pregnant. But shamefully we have to conclude that several organisations had other options than the well-care of those girls and looked more at the welfare of the community and politics, nor wanting to present them with some unwanted children or with children without loving parents or not being able to grow up in a stable family.
In certain groups of the community it looks cool when the man knows to dominate the woman. Certain man tiranise their partner and often use the children to set them up against the partner.
There that partner has to make certain choices and can avoid that there do come any more children. But as we can see sometimes the male part can be so dominant and so in control, that the partner still becomes pregnant. Others do find it normal to use the woman and have not the word ‘rape’ in their vocabulary.
For victims of such beings it becomes even more difficult to make certain choices. what we may not forget is that they sometimes also are forced to go to an abortion clinic. Other times they would love an abortion, but have no means or have lots of people who take care she doesn’t.
It is good to hear some witnessing from people who went through different stadia and not only became victim of rapists, wrong sex actions, but also victim of our societies attitude or certain organisations who want to regulate and control too much.
Let us not forget that those who are brought in a situation where they have to make a choice for what is inside them, it will never be an easy choice, and it will demand courage and it will demand perseverance and shall bring a turning point in the life of that person who shall never be able to be the same.
- On the sidewalk, the “antis” look at us
- We all have reasons for being there, unique experiences we carry up and down the sidewalk.
- bit the hand that assaulted me => scolded by the nuns for “unladylike” behavior + note sent home to parents
- endless lectures from puberty onward that “men only want one thing – that’s how they all are, they can’t help it, and so you have to protect yourself.”
- in order to receive any affection from men <= to reduce myself to my body + mind irrelevant in any romantic entanglements => took almost the rest of my life to unlearn this.
- body only valuable thing > had little control over what happened to it
- as sex worker > could pay my bills.
- boyfriend “rescued”
- went alone to a Planned Parenthood for an abortion
- impotent rage of fighting my way through protesters, with no escorts to assist me
- gain skills needed to survive in the nine-to-five world
- never once doubted my decision, + don’t to this day ====> I do wish that I’d been brave enough then to confide in a friend, and that I’d had escorts to run me through the gamut of shaming
- We need to draw a hard line here, because raising girls to believe that they are only their bodies – as blow up dolls, incubators, or punching bags – is dangerous
- Make any choice you want, as long as it’s yours.
- Stay brave, stay free, and may your pack be light.
- Happiness mapping and getting over gender mapping
- The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
- Eternity depends upon this short time on earth
TW: Violence, rape
On the sidewalk, the “antis” look at us, escorts as well as clients, and based on our ages, the vehicles we drive or don’t drive, the clothes we wear, the overheard snippets of friendly conversation, they’ll tailor the harassment to what they believe is the greatest effect.
“Does your mother know you’re here – you may be an outcast!”
“That’s what a real baby is supposed to look like.”
“You are not young, nearing the end of your life – repent now!” and memorably,
“Go home and put some decent clothes on!”
We immediately think through all the counter-arguments, the snappy retorts, the “you-don’t-know-me’s,” and sometimes a client or companion will voice them. Mostly we hope to avoid the added annoyance of them learning our names. I can’t help but cringe when this happens, because any acknowledgement feeds the antis. But it’s hard. It’s so hard not…
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