Tag Archives: Shame

The Things We Carry, by Penny

When we go and look for help we also should look fro the priorities of that organisation by whom we knock at the door.

Having people giving endless lectures from puberty onward about the interests of boys, from a wrong viewpoint does not help either. Catholic institutions often did not help bringing up the children to be strong enough to be themselves and to be able to cope, resist and or communicate with persons of the other sex.

In many extreme religious countries we have seen fundamentalist groups and others terrorising the female sex. Often women were considered as the lower species to bring forth the next generation and to be a puppet ‘spiel’. Many boys who got that education as well used those of the other sex as their toy. They were brought up that way. Who can blame them?

At the beginning of this 21st century the West carries still many scars of the previous century where unwanted children or babies of young girls were considered as the bad in the world which had to be cast out and the girls punished. We would not like to think how many boys or man did got away unpunished, whilst they left an unhappy girl behind.

Shame and intimidation were the easiest tactics which could bring people down. But there were also many girls who came out of it much stronger and being much more aware of this precious life.
Some went looking for their child which was taken away from them at birth. Those who got an abortion had it more difficult facing the dark spot in their life. For many of them it was like an eating cancer making them rot away in grieve.

Several countries hoped to regulate and control abortions and help children who became pregnant. But shamefully we have to conclude that several organisations had other options than the well-care of those girls and looked more at the welfare of the community and politics, nor wanting to present them with some unwanted children or with children without loving parents or not being able to grow up in a stable family.

In certain groups of the community it looks cool when the man knows to dominate the woman. Certain man tiranise their partner and often use the children to set them up against the partner.

There that partner has to make certain choices and can avoid that there do come any more children. But as we can see sometimes the male part can be so dominant and so in control, that the partner still becomes pregnant. Others do find it normal to use the woman and have not the word ‘rape’ in their vocabulary.

For victims of such beings it becomes even more difficult to make certain choices. what we may not forget is that they sometimes also are forced to go to an abortion clinic. Other times they would love an abortion, but have no means or have lots of people who take care she doesn’t.

It is good to hear some witnessing from people who went through different stadia and not only became victim of rapists, wrong sex actions, but also victim of our societies attitude or certain organisations who want to regulate and control too much.

Let us not forget that those who are brought in a situation where they have to make a choice for what is inside them, it will never be an easy choice, and it will demand courage and it will demand perseverance and shall bring a turning point in the life of that person who shall never be able to be the same.

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To remember:

  • On the sidewalk, the “antis” look at us
  • We all have reasons for being there, unique experiences we carry up and down the sidewalk.
  • bit the hand that assaulted me => scolded by the nuns for “unladylike” behavior + note sent home to parents
  • endless lectures from puberty onward that “men only want one thing – that’s how they all are, they can’t help it, and so you have to protect yourself.”
  • in order to receive any affection from men <=  to reduce myself to my body +  mind irrelevant in any romantic entanglements => took almost the rest of my life to unlearn this.
  • body only valuable thing > had little control over what happened to it
  • as sex worker > could pay my bills.
  • boyfriend “rescued”
  • went alone to a Planned Parenthood for an abortion
  • impotent rage of fighting my way through protesters, with no escorts to assist me
  • gain skills needed to survive in the nine-to-five world
  • never once doubted my decision, + don’t to this day ====> I do wish that I’d been brave enough then to confide in a friend, and that I’d had escorts to run me through the gamut of shaming
  • We need to draw a hard line here, because raising girls to believe that they are only their bodies – as blow up dolls, incubators, or punching bags – is dangerous
  • Make any choice you want, as long as it’s yours.
  • Stay brave, stay free, and may your pack be light.

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Additional reading

  1. Happiness mapping and getting over gender mapping
  2. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
  3. Eternity depends upon this short time on earth

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Louisville Clinic Escorts

TW:  Violence, rape

On the sidewalk, the “antis” look at us, escorts as well as clients, and based on our ages, the vehicles we drive or don’t drive, the clothes we wear, the overheard snippets of friendly conversation, they’ll tailor the harassment to what they believe is the greatest effect.

“Does your mother know you’re here – you may be an outcast!”

“That’s what a real baby is supposed to look like.”

“You are not young, nearing the end of your life – repent now!” and memorably,

“Go home and put some decent clothes on!”

We immediately think through all the counter-arguments, the snappy retorts, the “you-don’t-know-me’s,” and sometimes a client or companion will voice them. Mostly we hope to avoid the added annoyance of them learning our names. I can’t help but cringe when this happens, because any acknowledgement feeds the antis. But it’s hard. It’s so hard not…

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Courage

Often we do not want to give ourselves nor others enough time to grow up and to become that what we should really become, or what our destination is. Many dare not to be who they really are and put on a mask for the others instead being themselves and having more self-esteem.

Good to dare to thread the unknown, to gather strength to go into the depths of the valleys and to try out things, whatever others say to discourage. The one who goes his way ardent enough believing in himself will come somewhere where he shall not have to be ashamed for what he accomplished.

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To remember:

  • be awake to your fears
  • gather your strength
  • develop from so many life lessons lived
  • move ahead with courage
  • trust
  • with clarity of purpose and calmness of heart, right action will lead you where you want to go.

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This Abundantly Delicious Life

Courage

Courageimagesm

I choose to be awake to my fears, in all their varied forms…fear of not being enough, fear of going too deep, fear of letting go or getting lost, fear of being amazing, fear of the unknown magic of my dreams coming true. From this place of awareness, I choose to gather  my strength, developed from so many life lessons lived, and move ahead with courage, trusting that with clarity of purpose and calmness of heart, right action will lead me where I want to go.

Courageimage2sm

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Coming Out Of The Bipolar Closet

We like to introduce the online photography gallery for people affected by mental illness and share this witness which can help many people.

Every person should know that it is most importatn always to be and stay your own self, loving your self and loving the others like they are.

To free yourself from the chains and boundaries it is necessary to get rid of secrets and to dare to be open to others. They either may accept you or leave you for what you are. But in this world there are enough people and you can not be befriended with everybody, so it is better you concentrate to become befriended with those who are willing to take you as you are.

Let yourself be known, come out of the dark and let others also come out the closet.

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To remember:
  • Be open about many of your mental health challenges
  • dare to publicly discus them
  • do not hide
  • be not afraid of stigma.
  • Gain the courage to do and act
  • recognize what you have but also that it might be just one piece of your complex mental puzzle
  • We are all individuals on our own twisting journeys to mental health and wellness. 
  • Frustration, anger, guilt, shame, sadness, isolation, self-loathing, and hopelessness
  • Nothing is  hopeless.
  • Feel a shift, and realize you can choose to live.
  • Come to live with the emotional ups and downs
  • Dare to look for help
  • Stop ignoring advice and stop hiding in that damn closet
  • take your meds, see your doctors, and be more self-aware — you can actually take some control, and start moving in a positive direction. One baby step at a time.
  • There are still a few people in your life that find you worth fighting for
  • fight through this for them, and … do it for yourself
  • You are strong. You are capable. You are talented. You are worthy of a life worth living. A change will come.

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Broken Light: A Photography Collective

Photo taken by contributor Danielle, a woman in her thirties from New Jersey who has suffered from a variety of mental health challenges, including severe depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, as well as traits of BPD, OCD, and ADD. Danielle is a writer, photographer, photo editor and certified professional life coach. she is also a passionate mental health advocate and the founder and director of Broken Light Collective.

About this photo: “I took this self-portrait several years ago, in the midst of a two-year major depressive episode. I had become agoraphobic and spent almost all of my time in that bed. I ate there, I started Broken Light Collective from there, and I even did my therapy from there. This photo represents sadness, fear, isolation, and hopelessness.

I have since emerged from that particular darkness. I still have moments of sadness, fear, isolation and hopelessness, but I also have moments of joy, connection, and hope.

I have been…

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