Tag Archives: Illness

Lessons I have learned

Panic-attack

Panic-attack (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The lady who had had her first ever proper panic attack a year ago, when she couldn’t breathe, and rapidly became hysterical in her bathroom away from her kids, knows how she can be challenged being a single mum to four kids, that being a pretty time consuming.

The challenges have been huge and diverse in the last year.

For this Cornish woman her husband is the unsung hero in her tale. He helps her get dressed and use the bathroom, wash, cooks, cleans, does most of the childcare, and pretty much has an elderly person for a wife in return for his efforts, a lot of the time.

Have you any idea what it’s like to have to get your husband to help you with toiletting? Or how awful it is to have to get your eight year old to put your socks on. To have to call your son to watch you get up the stairs in case you fall? Or to have to call your teenage daughter up to your room as you can’t open the curtains? Or to train your two year old to pass everything at floor level up to you, as you can’t bend down? How guilty you feel that you aren’t like the other mums, instead your children also help care for you? {Crossing the line.}

Let us look how she now fulfils all the needs and requirements when she as a seriously ill woman is doing the job of 2/3 people.

What can a person do when she is in severe pain everyday to varying degrees and when the  kidneys are not working properly, the immune system at about 40%, her pericarditis playing up (swollen third chamber of my heart) each day she spends half hour getting her back, knees, hips and knees moving before she can focus properly.

Like many chronic pain patients she has become highly skilled at hiding her pain over the last 24 years, and very few people will see or experience the vulnerable and broken person, that exists through the cracks.

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To remember:

it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks

We are all in charge of our own destiny and happiness, + must own our decisions, as they are ours alone to make. Whether that’s, medication, lifestyle, parenting, a job, relationships, moving across the country for a shot at happiness. Own it. 

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Preceding articles:

What would you do if…?

What would you do if…? Continued trial

What Are You Seeking?

Though disabled in the eyes of society able to do great things

I will not be defined

Fibromyalgia & ME/CFS Awareness Day

See the conquest and believe that we can gain the victory

The Goal

Cosmina Craciunescu looks on Positivism

A quadruped amputee not stopped from wanting to achieve her dreams

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You've gotta have Gumption....

I’ve been debating for a while where I’m going with this. The cold, hard truth of the matter is that I’ve had very little time for anything other than being mum, and trying to keep my body working as best it can. I can’t remember the last time I was able to read a paper, or watch a full film.

Turns out being a single mum to four kids is pretty time consuming, who knew!?

The challenges have been huge and diverse in the last year. How do I fulfill all their needs and requirements of me when I am one, seriously ill woman doing the job of 2/3 people? The logistics alone have been a nightmare, getting everyone where they need to be and collecting them, making sure they have all the kit they need for the various activities they do, homework, food, washing, teacher appointments, councilling, sports, friends…

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What Are You Seeking?

At the beginning of the new academic year we also can think about what people would like to have on their bucket list and priority list for the new year.

Like at the beginning of the New Western Calendar Year those living in industrialised and economic democracies can compete with the North Americans having their eyes fixed on material matters and on the self.

When we look at the list of the top ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2014 it says all about the mind which has gone a long way off track from creation and its Creator.

Like the medical world prefers to treat the visible sings but not the cause of the illness. A lot of people are not at all interested to work on their (bad) habits. They like enjoying themselves at no price. They also want to be first in the picture and would like to boost their popularity as much as they can. Social media are there for them to help to reach their goal.
But are they really aiming at the right goal? We do not think so.
They also are not interested to find the way to that small door or ancient gate, written about in very old books.
They do not appreciate the value of those very old books. They better would spend some more attention to them.

From old times they where there to help, guide and support those who wanted to pick up that Book of books, called the Bible. It has helped millions of people by now. It still can help you and those around you to bring inner-peace. A peace which shall last for ever.

It may take years to come to that inner-peace and it is also very difficult for people to put aside the doctrinal churches of so many denominations. But when you shall find the truth in the Word of God, taking the words for what they say and not thinking ‘God‘ when there is written ‘Jesus‘, but than taking it to be Jesus, the son of God, than you will find inner peace so much quicker.

Good luck with your Bible reading and studying the Word of God.

God bless.

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Find also:

  1. Allowed to heal
  2. Relapse plan
  3. Denis Wright looking at the world of human beings
  4. Mourners Celebrate Life Of Inspirational Cancer Teen
  5. Searching for fulfillment and meaning through own efforts, facing unsatisfaction and depression
  6. See the conquest and believe that we can gain the victory
  7. Feed Your Faith Daily
  8. Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still
  9. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places
  10. Obtain favour from Yahweh
  11. Bible, Word of God, inspired and infallible

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  • True Peace (ellen5e.com)
    Those that don’t really know Jesus do not really know peace. Their souls deep down know that they are at enmity with God. Something is not right. They search and cannot find it. They try the world’s way of selfish ambition and self-rule. The Bible refers to this as the man who built his house on shifting sand. There is no solid foundation, because when the current scheme, relationships, pursuits fail (and they will) they simply try something else and start the cycle all over again.
    Our rock-solid, devoted & loving relationships with God and other people is in very strong contrast to their hate for our proclaiming the truth of God’s word.
  • Activators of grace and peace (dailymedit.wordpress.com)
    Grace and peace are like twins. Grace fuels you forward, peace makes you grounded. The bible says: it is good that the heart be established with grace not with food which has not benefitted those who are given to it. So Paul was saying in the focus verse that it is better to “eat” grace than to eat food for energy. It is more sustaining.When God wants to send help it comes in the shape of grace. The help which Jesus is the embodiment of, which was sent to the earth was said to be full of grace. Jesus is a grace-package (John 1:14). And when Paul wanted to write about Jesus he identified him with his grace, saying the grace of the lord Jesus be with you (2Corinthians 13:14).
  • Religious mentality (thelivingmessage.com)
    There are so many different religions in the world today and just as many if not more denominations of Christian belief too. Why are we so split up into different doctrines and belief systems? Mainly, because of Satan himself. I know, there are many, many people who don’t believe in him and those who say that he doesn’t exist at all. He enjoys taunting them and playing with their minds, especially when they don’t think that it is a real entity which is doing these things.
  • 10 Things Your Childhood Pastor Didn’t Tell You (But Should Have) (patheos.com)
    There are around 40,000 different Christian denominations all with their own particular nuances and ways of expressing the Christian message. I fear too many of us grow up thinking that our group is the one group who “gets it”, but with 40,000 different expressions of Christianity out there, chances are slim that you grew up in the one faith tradition who had it all correct. Each expression of Christianity has inherent strengths and weaknesses, all of which should be considered on the individual merits.
  • Triangulations : The Deadly Yahweh Dilemma (triangulations.wordpress.com)
    Here is my list of theological dilemmas (“doctrines”) that divide up Christianity into its many, colorful and flavorful varieties.  To this list I am adding another theological question by which to understand Christians:
    The Deadly Yahweh DilemmaIt is obvious to any Bible reader that in the Jewish scriptures Yahweh displays far more deadly attributes than Yahweh does in the Christian scriptures. Exceptions exist of course: with kind, wonderful images of Yahweh in the OT and a horrible Yahweh seen in the NT (see the Book of Revelation). But overall, the differences is clear — the Deadly Yahweh Dilemma has existed since the beginning of Christianity and Christians have devised several different clever solutions.

Unshakable Hope

I follow a Bible reading plan every year, and the plan I’m following this year begins with John’s Gospel. I’ve always thought it was much more than a coincidence that the first words spoken by Jesus (in John’s Gospel) come in the form of a very profound question; it’s a question that everyone should know the answer to:

“What are you seeking? (John 1:38)

When I read that question on January 1st, I paused to think about what I should be seeking this year. I believe that our New Year’s Resolutions, or lack of, tell a lot about what we’re seeking. The following is a list of the top ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2014. Other than showing that we smoke too much, spend too much, sit too much and eat too much, what does this list tell us about the American people?

  1. Lose weight.
  2. Improve finances.
  3. Exercise…

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Denis Wright looking at the world of human beings

Many people do not see that our life is something which is given to us, by a ‘Thing‘ bigger than we can understand or would ever be able to grasp. It is a Spirit which created everything and still allows things to be created. For the beings which can walk around on this earth they may be a fleeting thing.

“whether you reach one year of age, or ten or a hundred years”

knew also terminal cancer patient Denis Wright. He wrote on his blog, which was selected for preservation by the Australian National Library in its Pandora Archive:

Every life is a little spark that flickers briefly, sometimes brightly, and then the spark fades quickly and passes back into an infinity of space and silence. {A Last Message from Denis}

The former historian in Asian studies, comparative religions, movie-maker and “observer of the world as we have changed it” was dealing with a GBM (4) (glioblastoma multiforme): the most aggressive form of brain tumour.

Denis Wright wasn’t meant to live long. He’s had birthdays – 66 of them – but he’s also had plenty of deathdays – the dates he thought he would “cark it”.

At one point the historian from Armidale in country NSW said:

“Every date we’ve estimated so far has been wrong … I’ve embarrassed myself by staying alive.” {A Last Message from Denis}

While he was living on this earth for this brief time he was fully aware that

our bodies are the bearers of who and what we are. They are not us; they’re just the vessels in which our true self resides. We stop sometimes, and try to take stock. We move on, and simply live. We occasionally contemplate the great questions or put them aside as an insoluble puzzle. {A Last Message from Denis}

Mr Wright has not wasted his time by moaning and shutting himself out of this world where there is much suffering. He himself suffered also much, but he wanted to use his pains and agonies to help others. That is the good attitude we should like to see by many more.

On a blog, called My Unwelcome Stranger  he took the courage to write about his experiences. Writing about his troubled health he shared why he would rather call someone than send them a text (it’s too slow to say anything other than “OK”)

But why put myself through 10 minutes of torment on a screen I can’t read anyway when I can just press one button to bring up the number of the person I want to call, and say, “OK”? I could even add, “I love you” in a real voice, as long as I got the right number. What to would be bemused, but not amused, should I leave a voice message for him telling him so when I really thought I was phoning my beloved. {A Last Message from Denis}

Often people let themselves go and in their illness they do not seem to think clear or forget the easy things they could do. though when suffering the toll can be high and people can miss the true importance of small things and worse, of bigger things like a wedding (and that is “the receipt of as many and as expensive a range of gifts as possible,” he joked).

For reasons I still can’t quite figure out in view of the fact that we were going for the record for the longest engagement in history, one which had begun almost last century (millennium even), we abandoned that exercise after a sterling effort of nearly a decade, and opted to get married instead. {A Last Message from Denis}

The last fourteen years of his life he has spent with, and been loved by, and married the one who is to him

the most beautiful, intelligent and caring woman in the world. It’s impossible for me to express the amount of care and time and patience Tracey has given me, with little thought to her own needs. She has always placed mine first. This path we’ve had to share since 2009 has been more difficult than anyone can understand unless you’ve travelled a similar one – and cared as much as she has. She hid her tears from me many times, knowing how much they tore me apart; yet to cry alone and out of sight is one of the saddest things in life. {A Last Message from Denis}

For every person on this earth it is so important who can be around him or her. The close surroundings are the one part of our life we should assure a good connection. It is in those surroundings that people should be able to build up some trust with others and feel the connection with others. It is also in the close surroundings people should be able to come to understand the meaning of love through the presence in their life by others.

It is nice to hear that Dennis Wright could clung himself to life to the end. He wrote:

it’s only because of the joy of sharing life with close family and friends, and my desire to be with them as long as possible. For me, nothing else mattered but those bonds of love and friendship. To allow them to slip away is, by far, the most difficult thing to accept. {A Last Message from Denis}

All of us should find ways to help others around us. We should bring our friendship out of our boundaries and go into our neighbourhood having an eye and a heart for those in need.

When we ourselves have some bad moments let us also remember it is necessary to go looking for a balance heavily in favour of good things over bad in our life. Sometimes we shall have to take time to chose the way of relativism for certain things which happened in our life.

I’m also grateful that I had the chance to reflect on my life and its meaning through the window of terminal illness. That time for reflection isn’t something everyone gets. It’s a window through which things become sharper and more vivid than any other. {A Last Message from Denis}

Let us all learn from the lesson Mr Wright gave:

Whatever endures beyond my body will do so, especially in the form of the consequences of my actions in life, and my only wish is that whatever I’ve taken from the world, I have been able to give something meaningful back. {A Last Message from Denis}

That we may find joy in having been able to give something meaningful back.

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Useful other readings:

  1. Created to live in relation with God
  2. Cancerous Black Holes
  3. Mourners Celebrate Life Of Inspirational Cancer Teen
The Waiting Room / Breast Cancer Tableau

The Waiting Room / Breast Cancer Tableau (Photo credit: Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library)

  • numerology for Denis Wright (newsnumerology.com)
    Dr Charlie Teo, high-profile Australian neurosurgeon, has said the condition is “impossible” to cure.
  • ‘Exploding’ Cells? Swedish Scientists Discover Potential Cancer Treatment for Glioblastoma Multiforme – The Karolinska Institute in Stockholm reverses cancerous cell growth with Vacquinol-1. (sevenponds.com)
    After a five-day period in which scientists fed Vacquinol-1 to mice with GBM, they found that the substance had increased activity in the cancer cells to the point that they simply “exploded.” “Vacquinols stimulate death by membrane ruffling, cell rounding, massive macropinocytic vacuole accumulation, ATP depletion, and cytoplasmic membrane rupture of [glioblastoma cells],” explained the Karolinska Institute report. Essentially, that means the activity of the mice’s glioblastoma cells was rendered so hyper-active that the cells had no choice but to explode and die. “When cancer cells were filled with a large amount of vacuoles,” says the Institute, “the cell membranes, the outer wall of the cell, collapsed.”
  • Study: Chemotherapy May Lead To Less Peaceful Death (atlanta.cbslocal.com)
    More than half of end-stage cancer patients receive chemotherapy during the last few months of their life, and those who received such treatment were more likely to die in a hospital intensive care unit, hooked to a ventilator, rather than at home as they would have preferred, says a new study.Patients were also less likely to have discussed their end of life wishes with their oncologist compared to other end-stage cancer patients who opted not to continue chemotherapy.Researchers say doctors have a hard time initiating conversations with their patients, especially those dying from metastatic cancer.“There’s a subtle dance that happens between oncologist and patient,” Dr. Alexi Wright, an assistant professor of medicine at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, and the study’s lead author, told the Boston Globe. “Where doctors don’t want to broach the subject of dying, especially in younger patients, because it makes those patients think we’re giving up on them.”
  • Terminally ill cancer sufferer Stephen Sutton forced to defend himself over online ‘dupe’ accusations (manchestereveningnews.co.uk)
    Terminally ill cancer sufferer Stephen Sutton has been forced to defend himself against cruel online accusations he ‘duped’ people following his release from hospital.Stephen, who has incurable bowel cancer, has raised more than £3.1 million for the Teenage Cancer Trust after his plight touched the hearts of people around the world.The 19-year-old previously said he was nearing the end but he was discharged from Birmingham’s Queen Elizabeth’s Hospital on Friday after doctors gave him the go-ahead to return to his home in Burntwood, Staffordshire.
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    on the Mail’s Facebook page Sarah Hill said: “Am I the only one who thinks something is not quite right here? While I hope I am wrong it feels like we are being conned.

    “One minute he tweets saying he is dying and won’t see the next day, then all of a sudden he is being released to go home. As I said, I hope I am wrong but I have a strange feeling about this.”

    Stephen, who on Friday met Prime Minister David Cameron who described him as “inspirational”, felt forced to defend himself.

    In a message he said: “Sorry to disappoint you! So you know, I still have my cancer and it’s incurable, if that makes you feel less ‘duped’ x”

  • Jay Lake (murverse.com)
    The day after the Hugo awards last year, he made a point to talk to me and tell me that he was in charge of caring for/keeping track of the Campbell tiara. He told me that, in addition to me winning the award, he was passing that responsibility to me, since he thought I was passionate enough about the award to make sure the tiara tradition continued. I nearly cried right there.One of the biggest thrills of my life was receiving the Campbell Award from Jay and his daughter, and then getting a picture with them afterward. Jay is well loved and will be missed.lake_campbell
  • 6 Stories That Prove the Mind Has the Power to Heal the Body (thehealersjournal.com)
    My book Mind Over Medicine is full of data scientifically proving that the mind can heal- or harm- the body. But data can be dry, and sometimes what resonates most deeply within our souls are stories. So sit back, grab a cup of tea, and let’s have story time. I’m going to tell you a few true stories that will demonstrate to you how powerfully the mind affects your physiology.
  • Chemotherapy proven to cause death (wakeupcallnews.blogspot.com)
    Chemotherapy is one of the worst forms of cancer treatment there is, primarily because of the horrific chemicals involved, but also because it is simply an agonizing way to kill.According to a newly published study in the British Medical Journal, more than half of end-stage cancer patients are given chemotherapy during the final few months of their life, and those who received such treatment were much more likely to die uncomfortably: in a hospital intensive care unit hooked to a ventilator, rather than at home as they wanted.
  • Saudi opposition reports King Abdullah has terminal lung cancer (worldtribune.com)
    In a statement on April 17, the institute, aligned with the Shi’ite opposition, said Abdullah was “suffering from terminal lung cancer.” The statement said Abdullah, known as a chain smoker, was seen wearing a breathing tube during his meeting with U.S. President Barack Obama on March 28. The king was also seen with the tube on April 4 when Abdullah returned to Riyad from his retreat in Rawdat Khuraim.
  • Have People Used Baking Soda to Treat Cancer for 10 Cents/Day? (therebel.org)
    The National Cancer Institute  says that cancer treatment costs between $31,500 and $400,000 over several years, depending on the type of cancer one is suffering from. One of the cheapest ways to treat cancer is probably something you’ve never heard of, yet  Dr. Tullio Simoncini  of Rome found a possible treatment that takes around three weeks and costs literally pennies. But his simple, yet revolutionary idea was shunned by the medical industry, even though he was a successful oncologist. Nonetheless, Simoncini has destroyed cancerous tumors with nothing more than sodium bicarbonate, otherwise known as baking soda. Baking soda works by ‘shocking’ cancer cells with alkalinity. The extracellular (interstitial) pH (pHe) of solid tumors is significantly more acidic compared to normal tissues.
  • Wilko Johnson diagnosed with terminal cancer (guardian.co.uk)
    Wilko Johnson has been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the pancreas. The news became public via a story in the Echo, the local paper in Johnson’s hometown of Southend, and spread after local musician and music historian Will Birch tweeted the news, having read it in the Echo.
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