Tag Archives: Humour

Hosting a Virtual Seder During a Pandemic

Dear readers,

Hopefully, you are all in good health.

On April 02 there are 5,552 people registered in Belgium that are infected with the novel coronavirus who are receiving treatment in Belgian hospitals.
That there are only 1,143 deaths of the CoViD-19 virus at the moment is thanks to the exceptional precautions that the government has taken and which a large part of the population adheres to.

The coming week brings us, what in normal circumstances would be the busiest time for gatherings, in our effort to remember how God has liberated us, and to make sure that the younger generation would come aware how we always should remember how God Helps and Guides His People.

14 Nisan is normally the Day of The Memorial Meal.
This year that shall be different from all other years.

In Lockdown times, best not to meet too many people and to keep social distance, nowhere in Belgium, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal shall there be an open public Memorial Meal or Pesach Seder.

While you might not be able to physically gather around the seder table this Passover, do not forget that you can come together online.

Check out our 10 tips for creating a meaningful and fun seder experience for your family and friends, near and far.

  1. Use the same Haggadah. 

    You could make and can use a Haggadah you could send out by e-mail beforehand and/or screen-share it with your guests, or encourage everyone to print their own copy.

  2. Designate an e-Moses.

    It can be very helpful to pick someone to lead the virtual seder. Make sure this person has experience successfully using Zoom, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, Skype, etc..

    He can play Moshe and let us remember how Moshe ditched his desert aesthetic and returned to the Egyptian palace to deliver God’s message, with the help of his brother and hype man, Aaron.

    Telling the exodus story he may not forget to bring forth how Moshe spoke about God commands and how God clapped back at the Egyptians. Children perhaps can have drawings made of the pathway formed between the walls of water and the Israelites who made it to the other side without harm.

  3. Make a “seating and speaking chart.”

    This year there can best not swapped places. Best is to have everybody all night using the same place at the table, and if possible having enough distance between each household member.

    But this year we should also account for the virtual seated next speaker. Figure out ahead of time who is going to read what. Throughout the seder, text the person you’d be sitting next to.  Be careful when all speakers are on there shall be too much echo and everything could become too chaotic. Therefore, let everybody stay muted and follow an order of speaking plus having put up an arm or (funny) sign requesting to speak.

  4. Maintain that there are no excuses for why people can’t attend.A danger of such critical times as these, is that people come a bit lazy or like to avoid their religious obligations.
    Unless, you know, they don’t have internet and/or a device to connect to it. Anyone can be part of your Passover experience.
  5. Have a practice run.The organiser best has several contacts beforehand with those who would take care of the surprises.Also, send instructions for accessing your virtual platform of choice ahead of time so nobody holds up the seder by not knowing their Wi-Fi or other password.For those who do not have their computer enough secured and therefore had best their camera taped, they have to be encouraged to take the stickers or tape off their cameras.
  6. Eat and drink with measure spread over the long time of gatheringAs usual at a seder have the different courses interrupted by animated talks, readings from Scripture and prayers.
  7. Work with what you have.

    With all the panic shopping, it can be intimidating to venture out to get everything you need. That’s OK. Get what you can and improvise the rest.
    Our people have survived greater quandaries with a little ingenuity and determination.If you can’t get matzah, cut some cardboard into squares or large circles (you can even put dots on them with a marker for texture, but do not consume—this is purely decorative). Swap out sriracha for horseradish. Use literally anything green. Squish trail mix into a charoset-like paste.Use a regular plate as a stand-in for a seder plate. It’s the thought that counts.
  8. Bring a little Purim to Passover.

    Never forget to make the long evening pleasant enough or entertaining enough to the children. Remember this night should be a night of remembering and giving it further to the next generation.Nobody would be against making some good fun and nobody would object to have people being dressed up as Moses, Aaron, Miriam, etc.Got kids? Great, they can be the frogs. Or the lice. It depends how stressed they’re making you.
    Got teens? Do the whole seder using Snapchat filters, then do a TikTok dance break in the middle of the seder for added social media cred. But only if, like, you know the choreo.
  9. A night different from all other nightsAlso do not forget that 14 Nisan is ‘super special’.Laugh a little hysterically and cry only a tad when you get to the Four Questions and someone has to ask, “Why is this night different from all other nights?”
  10. A Liberation to celebrate

    Do your best, have fun and remember that though we are in isolation to protect ourselves, friends, families and fellow human beings everywhere, we are still free to be Jewish or Jeshuaist and celebrate our heritage and salvation by the Highest and Strongest!

Let us not forget to show our love to God by remembering what He has done and still does, and let us show our love to others by taking enough precautions to keep everybody safe and in good health. Even when we might be very isolated in our own cosy home, let us feel the union with brothers and sisters all over the world, and let our prayers be with them all.

Please pray:

I will seek to make this world a better place, for all people, today and tomorrow. To this, in their memory, I pledge myself. Ani ma’amin. Am Yisrael chai.

A Jewish community eating the symbolic Passover food during the Seder evening, the evening before the Passover festival (picture-alliance / dpa / Robert Fishman)

As you come to the end of the seder, remember that this uncertainty, while it already feels like 40 years of wandering in the desert, is temporary. The Israelites made it eventually. So will we.

Next year, in person!

For 2020:

Keep safe and well, having a lovely Passover seder.

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Preceding

CoViD-19 warnings

Anxiety Management During Pandemic Days~

Hope on the Horizon: Pandemic Anxiety Management II~

Pandemic Anxiety Busters~

Mel Brooks saying “go home” to Max Brooks

Christian Response to the Covid-19 Pandemic

7 Ways To Boost Your Immune System in Lockdown

Love in the Time of Corona

Recrafting our World

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Reminders

  1. The unseen enemy
  2. Under-reporting the total number of coronavirus cases
  3. Coronavirus on March 11 declared a global pandemic on March 31 affecting more than 177 countries
  4. No idea yet for 14 Nisan or April the 8th in 2020 Corona crisis time
  5. Only a few days left before 14 Nisan
  6. First time since Nazi time no public gathering
  7. Voor het eerst in jaren weer een Pesach in isolatie
  8. Even in Corona time You are called on to have the seder
  9. A meal as a mitzvah so that every generation would remember
  10. A night different from all other nights and days to remember
  11. Let’s Think About Redemption Differently
  12. At the Shabbat HaChodesh: readings about blood, liberation and purification
  13. Zeman Chereisenu – the time of our freedom
  14. Ki Tisa – Torah Portion
  15. Egypt, Moshe and Those who never felt they belonged there
  16. In Every Generation: The Return of Anti-Semitism – Pesah Day 1, 5779
  17. The Most special weekend of the year 2018
  18. Call to help others
  19. How should we worship God? #7 The Breaking of Bread
  20. How should we worship God? #8 Love one another

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Rabbi Ianki’s dog

In life we do need a laugh. today we can see lots of comedies on television, but when we see the jokes they are nearly always under the belt and many very vulgar.

Dr Roby Parrot from the comedy magazine Skyline Reports

On Skyline Reports we may  find (as a joke) Dr. Parrot who has done his medical studies in the field of psychiatry at Sorbonne, where he studied with the famous Professor Pangrue how to buy expensive and sell cheap. He was also once one of the brave defenders of Independece.

At the time of the last Oriental conflagration I served in the civic guard – Intelligent Bayonet – in the company of the Armenian slum. Heroic times {Civic guard}

His eye and mind may be very bright, him believing that

 On the first day God created the sky and the Earth. For administrative reasons he created the whole Earth in one place to be able to master it better and depends on only the Republicans, which he knew better.

god trump
According to him

Unlike religion, sex doesn’t make you feel guilty.

and

There aren’t so many rules when you have sex. {Sex and religion}

From September 2, 2017 (or did he have a false start on August the 20th 2017), this parrot is talking and letting him heard, wanting his own Dada at Morning sunset when he saw a

sad tree had a shaggy elephant who liked to smoke seaweed every morning.

sunset sunrise

The tree often told it to quiet smoking as the carbon dioxide concentration of the atmosphere increased, but the elephant did not hear it because it was deaf due to an atomic bomb exploding right next to its left ear during the secret war in the Anophel mosquito’s studio.

This morning the sun had just risen when it had already sunset.

The elephant was reatly surprised by this thig and asked the tree:

„What the hell is that sun ?”

„It’s sick of seasickness because of seaweed you smoke”, said the tree.

„That means the sun is crazy because the seaweed does not contain nicotine !”

For those who do not speak Parrotese they can go to Romania and find stories about the great spy, secret agent and world-renowned general, Florian Coldea, who leaves with a special mission to Moscow. Dr. Parrot also providing the appropriate photographs or interesting pictorial illustrations to proof the value of what he was to witness. though sometimes it might not always  go so well with his spying efforts.

Here he is trying to create a secret intelligence agency. For a while, everything went well, spying seemed a mild task for the Coldea specialist, until one morning at his door three guys called the big cabinet, with tinted glasses and stiff faces.

If you need a doctor, may we advise you first to go along Dr. Parrot. Though we want to warn you, being part of this age where so many use bad language, we also can find some ugly words, like on whenRadu C. Crahmaliuc his text “Student, acuzat de terorism după ce a deschis un geam într-un troleibuz plin cu pensionari” of a Student accused of terrorism after opening a window on a bus.

01 terorist

as the result of the attack, at least 15 people required anti-rheumatic grease rubbing and suckers on their back, the incident being among the worst in America.

 

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Find also:

  1. The Creation of the World – Trump’s vision
  2. Trump’s secret reviews: How to succeed in politics
  3. Indecipherable writing
  4. Civic guard

SKYLINE REPORTS

Rabbi Ianki had a pedigree dog. One day he reads in a newspaper that in Paris for 5,000 dollars  the dog can be taught to talk in just one week. He immediately calls his son Moishole, gives him 5,000 dollars and sends him to Paris with the dog.

In Paris Moishole spends all the money on girls and fun in just two days. All night he did not sleep, being terrified that the Rabbi will kill him for speding the money. The next day Rabbi Ianki calls his son to learn how the dog is evolving. Moishole tells him everything’s going really well.

“How so ? Has it already started to talk ?”

“It doesn’t stop talking. By the way, Dad, are you still having sex with the youg lady secretary ?”

“Who told you that ?”

“The dog !”

“Know something ? Leave the dog at Paris and come…

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