Oh god, this is never going to end!

How many times do people block themselves by putting in their head that they can not help themselves?

Each human being, like any mammal, has received the capability to heal him or herself. Most human beings have forgotten how to do it, but if they really want to heal and become stronger, they themselves can make themselves stronger, without help of others even.

We also, when we have reached a point where we do not see any way out and can not help ourselves, dare to go to professionals who can come to our help, bringing us back on the road to self-growth and successfulness.

Being aware you need counselling is already a very good step in the right direction. Now you need to find the love for yourself again and find love for what is around you, by opening your eyes and your heart, plus opening your mind to let bad things go out of it and let good things enter your head and heart.

***

To consider:

When there is a wonderful, amazing, caring, patient boyfriend why should you not want to live any more?

Good to talk with the partner or friend.

When you are thinking about suicide and think the other can’t help go find a medical professional.

Never believe everyone has had enough with you, because that just can not be.

You also never deserve all the hate that is reaped upon you. How often we interpret something as hate or badness, whilst it has not to be so?

Hating yourself is often that what gets you down. First of all you have to start finding love for yourself again.

Do not hate yourself nor the other.

By punishing yourself you shall not help yourself.

When you know you are not what you want to be and therefore feel not perfect, know that nobody is perfect and that we may have dreams of what we would like to be but that we should not be ashamed that we not always can become who we would love to be.

Allow yourself to be happy.

Do not punish yourself  berating yourself for doing something “normal” like knocking a cup over, but dare to laugh it away and to see the funny things and pleasant things of life around you.

Do not think you will always make everyone’s life a misery with your misery. Try talking about it and try meeting others, in your own surroundings, in the park, etc.

Try to enjoy the small things of life.

Good Luck

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Please do read: Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

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Living with the black stuff

Today, I have told my wonderful, amazing, caring, patient boyfriend that I do not want to live any more.  I feel like I can’t take feeling like this for eternity.  I have had a massive chat with him this morning, we do usually chat quite a lot about my feelings and how I am today, but this is the first time I have “fessed” up to thinking about suicide (well, I think about it 24/7).  He can’t help me, I know he wants to, but he cant.  I can’t help myself, I push him away so he hates me, then I can be hateful to me when everyone has had enough with me.  I will deserve all the hate that is reaped upon me.  I can then finally say, “yes, this is what I want and this is what I deserve”.  I am such a shitty girlfriend.  We are waiting…

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