Tag Archives: Self-Help

Oh god, this is never going to end!

How many times do people block themselves by putting in their head that they can not help themselves?

Each human being, like any mammal, has received the capability to heal him or herself. Most human beings have forgotten how to do it, but if they really want to heal and become stronger, they themselves can make themselves stronger, without help of others even.

We also, when we have reached a point where we do not see any way out and can not help ourselves, dare to go to professionals who can come to our help, bringing us back on the road to self-growth and successfulness.

Being aware you need counselling is already a very good step in the right direction. Now you need to find the love for yourself again and find love for what is around you, by opening your eyes and your heart, plus opening your mind to let bad things go out of it and let good things enter your head and heart.

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To consider:

When there is a wonderful, amazing, caring, patient boyfriend why should you not want to live any more?

Good to talk with the partner or friend.

When you are thinking about suicide and think the other can’t help go find a medical professional.

Never believe everyone has had enough with you, because that just can not be.

You also never deserve all the hate that is reaped upon you. How often we interpret something as hate or badness, whilst it has not to be so?

Hating yourself is often that what gets you down. First of all you have to start finding love for yourself again.

Do not hate yourself nor the other.

By punishing yourself you shall not help yourself.

When you know you are not what you want to be and therefore feel not perfect, know that nobody is perfect and that we may have dreams of what we would like to be but that we should not be ashamed that we not always can become who we would love to be.

Allow yourself to be happy.

Do not punish yourself  berating yourself for doing something “normal” like knocking a cup over, but dare to laugh it away and to see the funny things and pleasant things of life around you.

Do not think you will always make everyone’s life a misery with your misery. Try talking about it and try meeting others, in your own surroundings, in the park, etc.

Try to enjoy the small things of life.

Good Luck

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Please do read: Fear, struggles, sadness, bad feelings and depression

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  • What doesn’t kill me . . . makes me? (brake5.wordpress.com)
    We toss relationships so easily in a minimal way in the words of ‘what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger’?  To be honest, strength is a good God characteristic; but when not balanced with the love of God we lose our gentleness towards others killing our reflection of Christ.  The question then rises . . . How tough do we want to be; tough enough that we miss God’s leading in areas that exemplify His love.
  • Things I am growing in since turning 25…part 5 (nissiknows.wordpress.com)
    I used to hate getting hurt – I still do…but less so. With every emotional and physical battle I find myself fighting I now know I am learning a little more about myself and taking on a quality in me that causes strife and division.
  • Embraceing The Darkness (peternavratillife.wordpress.com)
    Darkness is all around us.  I am not just talking about the physical darkness of the night sky and under the bed and stuff, but of the darkness that lurks everywhere in our lives too.  Darkness is the absence of light.  And every time we choose to reject the light of Christ and turn away from God and what He has to offer and focus instead on ourselves and what we can get, we are embracing that darkness.  I’m not just talking about things like abortion, suicide, rape, but mostly the little things like lying, swearing, and not passing the salt at dinner.  Every time we do something selfish, we are inviting the darkness in.
  • America, land of 1,000 addictions (wnd.com)
    Of course, toddler iPad problems, video-game addiction, even the mushrooming epidemic of online gambling as well as the massive numbers of people reportedly “addicted” to the Internet itself, to Facebook, to texting and so on – all these pale in comparison to the truly gargantuan and society-ravaging problem of Internet pornography.
  • Wallow not in self-criticism and blame, (ifewale.wordpress.com)
    Wallow not in self-criticism and blame, as it destroys self confidence. Your negative beliefs are not necessarily true. Since confidence is founded on a positive view of self, believing that you are always good enough the way you are (created in the image of God) and that you deserve the best is vital in getting the things you want.
  • Afflictions That Heal Us (brokenbelievers.com)
    Any affliction that keeps me from going astray—that drives me deeper into his Word—is healing. God’s most gracious healing force spiritually and physically can be afflictions.

Living with the black stuff

Today, I have told my wonderful, amazing, caring, patient boyfriend that I do not want to live any more.  I feel like I can’t take feeling like this for eternity.  I have had a massive chat with him this morning, we do usually chat quite a lot about my feelings and how I am today, but this is the first time I have “fessed” up to thinking about suicide (well, I think about it 24/7).  He can’t help me, I know he wants to, but he cant.  I can’t help myself, I push him away so he hates me, then I can be hateful to me when everyone has had enough with me.  I will deserve all the hate that is reaped upon me.  I can then finally say, “yes, this is what I want and this is what I deserve”.  I am such a shitty girlfriend.  We are waiting…

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Helping to create a Positive Attitude

From the previous postings you could come to see how serious we have to take the people around us, because they will influence us in one way or the other. It would not be so much a problem if those out there would have naturally positive attitudes. But we also have to face those with negative attitudes. They might be born with no sunny signs for them or could their dispositions having destroyed or distorted by the negativity of others (parents, teachers, siblings or friends) as they grew up.

We also showed that everything is in the mind of each person him or herself. Everyone can bend the coarse of negative thought in to the line of positiveness. We all have to take up our responsibility to help those who are totally caught up in the negative spiral. We can help them by showing our positive attitude.

By coming to the knowledge that we ourselves are the only person who can create and control our attitude, we ourself can get on the way, but also show to the other that he or she also has that possibility to change her or his track. By showing the importance of the belief in the self, we can get them to reconsider their own position in their own life.

REMEMBER THE DUCK, KEEP POSITIVE !! ...item 5....

Remember The Duck, Keep Positive !! …item 5.. Law Enforcement Prepares For FSU / Miami Game (Fri 7:05 PM, Nov 01, 2013) — The phone number, 850-645-JERK (5375) … (Photo credit: marsmet463)

When we ourselves can get ourselves and others to believe that outside events can’t create our attitude, we can come together to build up together a good attitude. It is wrong to think that we all have to do everything on our own. We should come more to think of a group, helping each-other on the  road to success.

Having come to more non-religous persons, most people have no connection any more with their ‘community‘. Most of them are not part of a parish or an active community. Lots of people live in a neighbourhood but do not know their neighbours personally. Often lots of activities in the community even happen without them noticing it. Sometimes this is also the fault of the community or the parish itself, not inviting the people which live in the neighbourhood, or restricting contact only to those who are member of the church. Lots of churches have forgotten to go out and to do preaching work or investing time in missionary work at their own place. You might find churches having collections for places far away and talking about mission work in countries far away, but their eyes are closed for their own region. There there has to be done lots of missionary work today.

It is important that a person gets that feeling of being part of a community. We need to feel part of something which is bigger than ourselves. We are not made to stay on our own. It does not mean we do have to be married or living together with somebody else. But there has to be a connection with others living around us.

The outside world will always throw challenges in its surroundings and we may not close our eyes for them plus we also do have to open eyes of others for them. Some Christians do think we may not involve ourselves in the politics of the world, but we can not close our eyes for the politics in our own surroundings. We should be aware of it and should protect the weaker ones for those who try to get power over others.

We have to create our attitude in response to how we think about the events going on in our environment. Living in a communal society we do have to decide how we are going to respond to those challenges and to our entourage. Here we do have to make our first choices, how to look at things, how to let it influence ourselves or others and to choose whether to respond negatively or positively to the things it shall come to bring to being. Everything which is said or done  shall request a reaction and shall have an influence on those around it.

Being aware of your position in the community is important to the feeling of yourself but also for the reaction you will create onto others. Having much more in your hands than you might think, you should come to see that really you too can bring lots of changes, not only to your self, but also to others.
This request a strong attitude form yourself and a willingness to help others.

We shall not deny that maintaining a positive attitude in the face of all of the daily challenges in life can be daunting. We may differ with each other, but we shall have to find ways  to live with each other. By respecting the thoughts of the other you too may gain respect from the other. You both can come to the conclusion that each of you might find way to live positively with each other.  It does not matter if you are white or coloured, if you are very highly educated or have a poor education, each one of you can contribute to the community.

Many challenges may be offered to us and the community we are living in. But when we join hands we shall be able to do more than just on our own. Each of us can do it. It’s a personal choice to believe the best about any situation. Start to become aware of what you are thinking and saying, and check in yourself what effect it can make what you our saying.

As soon as we come to the understanding that we all works in progress in we are on a good way to come to changes which can be positive. You should work at it – gently correct yourself when you’ve gone the wrong way and praise yourself when you get it right.

We should be aware that common notion such as ‘long hours and many years’ counts also for us. but we have to be careful how such idea would dictate our life patterns. Believing on ourselves we should pursue our dreams, letting also others know that dream and prove it could be possible to succeed and on our own terms.

In case the surrounding looks boring or unappealing to you, why do you not try to change something to it. Consider more pleasurable surroundings that involve activities you may like, but also know you yourself can bring changes in your own environment. Your attitude and energy level are at their best and your attention span is very keen since you are focusing on something you like.

When you meet people who have grown to believe they can not achieve success due to a variety reasons, why do you not show them too that other side of the coin you have found. Let them and come to see yourself that in fact they put more effort into producing reasons as to why they can not succeed than others may invest into becoming successful. Our and their focus should come onto the vision of success.

Teaching yourself to have a positive attitude takes gentle but consistent work, just like training a young pets or toddlers. Do it for yourself and help others to get on the process of developing a positive world together.

A positive attitude changes everything.

A positive attitude changes everything. (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

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 Complementing reading:

  1. Intentions of an Ecclesia
  2. Parish, local church community – Parochie, plaatselijke kerkgemeenschap
  3. Breathing to teach

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  1. 3 Vital Character Traits
  2. 5 Ways Your Mental Attitude Affects Your Success
  3. Fostering A Positive Attitude

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  • Beware of bad attitudes at the Church service (mahustlerszone.wordpress.com)
    You need to beware of bad attitudes at the Church service. Let me make this clear before I elaborate on this topic, that the church is not limited to a physical structure but in fact is every person who believes in Jesus Christ. Also a church service can happen even outside the walls of the church building. A bad attitude at the Church service won’t do you any good. Having lack of faith and trust in the Lord is not helpful. However, this can be corrected as your faith can increase while hearing from the preaching of the word of God.
  • Attitude (darkhighlander666.wordpress.com)
    a good attitude is when you are to do something and you do it without any reluctance.
  • The 5 Ways to Have a Great Attitude Despite a Bad Situation (davidsbodytemple.wordpress.com)
    Have wisdom to know when to have a bad attitude. After all, we are human, but we need to have wisdom when we can’t go anywhere but negative.  Jesus got negative when He entered the temple and drove the moneychangers out.  He got negative when the Pharisee’s tried to make Him look bad.  Pick your battles wisely.  The Holy Spirit will guild you.  We should always strive to be positive; negative should be a last resort, not the first resort.
  • What’s with that attitude? (motivatingdaily.com)
    We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”
  • I Got a New Attitude (changedmindchangedlife.wordpress.com)
    We spend our entire educational journey learning how your attitude determines your altitude.
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    My attitude is one of my biggest enemies. It tells me how to look at others and judge, it tells me how to criticize no progress, it tells me how to blame others for my failures, it tells me, I’m always right. What my attitude fails to tell me is,  at the end of the day I will be alone, because I choose to keep my attitude instead of my life.
  • ‘Love transforms everything,’ Pope tells sick, disabled (catholicnewsagency.com)
    “Jesus teaches us to live the pain by accepting the reality of life with trust and hope, bringing the love of God and neighbor, even in suffering: and love transforms everything,” the pontiff told the members of the Apostolate of the Suffering and the Silent Workers of the Cross on May 17.
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    Pope Francis said this positive attitude towards suffering was lived and taught by Blessed Luigi Novarese, who believed in “educating the sick and the disabled to value their suffering through apostolic action, carried out with faith and love for others.”

    “He would always say: ‘The sick must feel that they are the authors of their own apostolate,’” recounted the pontiff. “A sick person, a disabled person can become support and light for other people who suffer, in this way transforming the environment in which he lives.”

    Pope Francis urged the sick and disabled to give witness to the example of Christ in their own lives. “With this charism, you are a gift to the Church,” he said.

  • 4 Reasons Why People Don’t Respect Their Leaders (enmast.com)
    Many leaders are not aware of the great power and influence they have over their team. Both directly and indirectly, leaders set the tone, pace and emotional climate of a workplace. Consequently, their actions and attitudes are absorbed by every sponge-like staff member.
  • Maintenance as a Mission (engagethroughgrace.wordpress.com)
    God has given each of us unique callings – ways that He expects us to be involved in His mission of drawing lost people to Himself. He also equips us uniquely to accomplish our callings.
  • Healthy Living A to Z: A is for Attitude (espirational.com)
    Thoughts are highly contagious. Hang out with negative people and you will become negative. Find a group of positive people and you will find staying positive much easier. Watch the online communities you join as well.
  • We all got Attitude (pastorleonard.wordpress.com)
    Our attitude determines so much for us.  Here is a short list of where our attitude impacts the life we are building.

    Attitude is a huge influence in…

    Fait, Effort, Energy, Determination, Courage, Faithfulness, Relationships, Partnerships, Health, Peace joy and hope, How we treat others, How we handle adversity, How we parent, How we approach marriage

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