The roots of mom guilt

Under the pressure to raise successful kids, it’s easy for parents to blame themselves for all of their children’s struggles, writes Amy Paturel in The Washington Post. “Mom guilt” is rooted in the desire for parents to feel control over their child’s livelihood. “With this sort of ‘magical thinking,’ if you’re the cause, then you can be the solution,” says psychotherapist Dana Dorfman. And to some extent, the tendency to search for the cause of our kids’ problems in our own behavior is a good thing — it can help us to become better parents. But it can be self-defeating when it isn’t paired with self-compassion; Shame can harm a parent’s mental health, and even interfere with the parent-child relationship. “You wouldn’t tell your friend she’s responsible for her child’s autism, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or mental health problems,” writes Paturel, “so don’t berate yourself for your children’s maladies.” [The Washington Post]

Leave a comment

Filed under Being and Feeling, Educational affairs, Health affairs, Lifestyle, Welfare matters

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.