Tag Archives: Restrictions

Detachment by Family problems

In the previous article Liza Borstlap writes

I came to believe that the conflict in my family had created itself.

It would be lovely if we all could grow up in very close lovely families which can give us everything we need. Though it does not work that way. The world is not made in such a way that all can be born at the right good place, in the right good class, receiving all the good education or even being all very bright.

First Lady Michelle Obama reads "The Cat ...

First Lady Michelle Obama reads “The Cat in the Hat” to children in Ms. Mattie’s class at Prager Child Development Center March 12, during her visit to Fort Bragg, N.C. The First Lady spoke with Soldiers and Family members as part of her initiative to care for military families. First Lady vows support for military families (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Even when all the material richness would be there when you are born in a rich family it does not mean you will find the luck to have a good relationship between all the members of that family.

Wherever we may be born in whatever for family we are just part of one big turmoil. Every day, people’s lives are touched by political, social, economic, and religious conflicts that tear the human family apart. In these conflicts, it is common for people to take sides — verbally or otherwise — with the nation, tribe, language group, or social class of which they are a part.
Even when people are not directly involved in some conflict, they often find themselves favouring one side over another. But regardless of which person or cause they endorse, to whom are they really giving support?

The Bible plainly states:

The whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one.” (1 John 5:19)

Families are not always such perfect units that shields the individual from a cruel society. Mostly we do find that in those families where there are no rules and morals and no eye for ethics the chances of getting derailed are grater than in religious families where certain religious rules go over the human will.

We must come to see we too can often be the cause of a problem. We too can be making problems even bigger than they are. Also by becoming indifferent for what goes on we can get ourselves in a deeper mess than we would love to see ourselves. Indifference in the end shall create emotional agitation and stress which shall become so unbearable that the person shall find no inner peace left. Danger then is that one tries to look for detachment, thinking it can preserve the self.

Another big problem is when people are not open enough to tell each-other what is on their liver. When not willing to let yourself be seen by the other like you are, you are that other person not giving the opportunity to get to know you, like you are really. It is by not having the open spirit to allow each other to be him or herself that restrictions are also laid on each other. When people than start remaining silent about the interference, the neglect, the labelling and toxic in-fighting, that often leaves a person with a limp and the frustration may ferment the malfunction in the own body as well as in the facility of being part of one united family.

It is not by secretly covering our own failures and mishaps until we can identify the black sheep that can take the blame, that we are going to come to a good solution. The opposite, that will bring us deeper in the well.

Deep in us may we find it screwing and tormenting. Our head can becoming spinning and looking for answers, but not seeing the places where those answers are easy to pick up. This deep-seated conflict between the desire to know and the inability to find the answer has tormented thinkers and philosophers throughout the ages. However, since God has put that yearning or desire in our heart, is it not logical to look to him to provide what is needed to satisfy that desire? After all, the Bible says of Jehovah:

“You are opening your hand and satisfying the desire of every living thing.” (Psalm 145:16)

For all those conflict which are between the family members, those persons should come to see what binds them, what makes it that they are brother and sister and that their is something in their blood which is more than special, even unique.

Even when we do feel so much hurt by our own family members, we should come over the point of being selfish and come to see that we can be a necessary link to heal the wounds made previously.

Being kind to those in our family involves following the admonition of the apostle Paul:

“Really put them all away from you, wrath, anger, badness, abusive speech, and obscene talk out of your mouth.”

Every day, Christian families should communicate with one another in a respectful manner. Why? Because good communication is the lifeblood of strong, healthy families. When disagreements arise, to smooth the conflict, try to solve the problem rather than win the argument. Happy family members make an earnest effort to promote kindness and consideration for one another. — Colossians 3:8, 12-14.

By turning to God’s Word, the Bible, we can find satisfying explanations about life and death and about God’s eternal purpose regarding the earth and the human family. — Ephesians 3:11.

Kindness is positive and makes us want to do good to others. Thus, we seek to be useful, considerate, and helpful in an agreeable manner with other family members. It takes both individual and collective effort to show the type of kindness that speaks well of a family. As a result, not only will they have God’s blessing but, in the congregation and in the community, they will honour the God of kindness, Jehovah. — 1 Peter 2:12.

When frustrated, when in conflict with members of the family it would be best to seek Biblical advice and to put your own “self” not in the centre but alongside all others in the family. By going to look for answers in the Holy Scriptures solutions may be found. Even when others do not want to know of God, you yourself will be able to change so much that your improved attitude shall be helpful to heal the wounds.

Seeing all the conflicts around us we also should try to become part of them. Best we take on a form of neutrality. Taking care of not to become misled with what is going on around us we should show others the other way to come closer to each other and to have agapé love.

We ourselves should know that our time on earth is limited and that we should make the best of it. Our hope should be in the coming new world, and it is that idea that we should share with those around us. Our task is to come up for others and to protect them, but we must know that we can not take them or ourselves out of this world. (John 17:15, 16) We live in this world and have to live with it, but that does not mean we have to live according to it. No, we have to live according to God’s Law and by following His word many blessings may come over us already in this life. By not wanting to be part of this world, but by being part of God’s world we shall find ways to bring the love of Christ over unto others as well and then the love of Christ may also grow deeper in us.  .

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Preceding articles:

When you stay in your lane, there’s no traffic.

Family happiness and little things we do

Families with four or more kids most happiest

.under the gazebo.

How to Raise a Happy Child

Crisis man needed in this world

Dissolve The Barriers You Created

What is important?

Learning that stuff is just stuff

72 Synod Fathers on the topic “The vocation and mission of the family in the Church and the contemporary world”

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Additional reading

  1. Behold, My mother and My brothers!
  2. Importance of parents 1
  3. Importance of parents 2
  4. Father and motherhood
  5. Youngsters, parents and the search to root in life
  6. Some one or something to fear #4 Families and Competition
  7. Teach children the Bible
  8. Poverty and conservative role patterns
  9. Dignified role for the woman
  10. Connection between women and environmental sustainability
  11. Three years ago and look back at several decennials ago
  12. Growing rift between observant parents and their children
  13. Synod of Bishops concerning minors
  14. Two synods and life in the church community
  15. Need to Embrace People Where They Are
  16. Conclusion of the synod of bishops for seeing the family in the light of the Gospel and church tradition
  17. Don’t be the weakest link
  18. I’m not a Mooch
  19. Patience is the ability to count down before blasting off
  20. Agape, a love to share with others from the Fruit of the Spirit
  21. Better loaves when the heart is joyous
  22. Jehovah’s Witnesses Shunning ex-members adverse effects on family relationships
  23. Agape, a love to share with others from the Fruit of the Spirit

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Further reading

  1. Conflict: Understanding Suspense
  2. Understanding others
  3. Understanding between religions
  4. Urges
  5. Subconflict, and Lots of It
  6. Fighting words: The role of conflict in fiction writing.
  7. No one listening? Then stop shouting, you might get heard
  8. The Rise and Fall of Action – for all levels
  9. Never Doubt Yourself
  10. Remembering Infinity: Caution…Egos at Work!
  11. Follow your heart when it’s in conflict with your brain!!!
  12. Can the World Bank Reduce Conflict in Nigeria by Providing Social Assistance?
  13. I Find my self conflicted
  14. Governance in a Mature Society, Part 2
  15. Communicating With Family – How to Let a Family Member Know They Hurt You
  16. Blessings and Duct Tape: How to Help Your Kids Get Along
  17. Stand Firm
  18. Hope For Battle Weary Mamas
  19. Family Conflict and Summer: The Best Time To Work Out Issues
  20. The father-child meeting
  21. The Problem With Beliefs
  22. Fighting With Your Spouse: How You Indirectly Effect Your Child
  23. 6 Tips for Handling Family Conflicts While Caregiving
  24. 10 Things You Need To Hear If Your Significant Other And Your Family Don’t Get Along
  25. Hurt People Hurt People
  26. Divorce: Part 1
  27. Divorce: Part 2, the minor problem
  28. Their’s Was A Perpetual Love Affair
  29. Depression: Postpartum Depression in Mothers
  30. Personality: The Birth Order Effect
  31. Frustration
  32. Finding Home
  33. The Very Best Way To Understand Grace
  34. Just like Granny told you, “Count your blessings!”

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Filed under Activism and Peace Work, Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Lifestyle, Social affairs, Welfare matters

Women in France running with naked bosom all right but with covered bosom penalised

Prudish people having put away their shame by causing shame to others

Years ago people had to fight hard against the prudish Catholic minds who opposed any naked flesh to be shown. Today the so called Catholic countries in West Europe seem to have chosen to have the women their tits out and finding it not okay to cover them up.

In the previous century there were many French and Belgians who did find it inappropriate to have some natural flesh of certain body parts to be shown in public. It was considered not done to have dresses which did not come under the knees. (We where brought up like that and got penalties when we had dared to show our bare/naked legs or upper arms.) Last century it was said we all had to listen to God and could not run naked in this world because God opposed such a thing.

Today their god must have changed idea and has come to prefer naked flesh, because in the present time the French seem not to look at those who want to cover their body as unworthy believers and even as people who are a danger for society.

Covering up for the Almighty

When we were young our Catholic mothers had to wear headscarf or hats when coming in public. In church they had to sit at the left hand site with their faces hidden behind a veil. In the previous century most people in Europe thought it was appropriate to dress decently and not having too much bare or naked. Mots parts of the body had to be covered with clothing or tissue.

Only around the turn of the century  less people came to make objections when some parts of the body were not covered. Today it looks like the world has got upside down. What for centuries was thought to be the moral way and according to Judeo Christian values, suddenly seems to be not acceptable any more.

People, like female Muslims, who now choose to cover up for God, are not allowed to do so by the French governement. Europeans should question such a decision taken by a governement in West Europe and see how human rights (freedoms established by custom or international agreement that impose standards of conduct on all nations) are  trespassed. Today we can see in France that many specific human rights are ignored. What happened to the the right to personal or individual liberty and Due Process of Law; to freedom of thought, clothing, expression, religion, organization, and movement; to freedom from discrimination on the basis of race, religion, age, language, and sex?

Restrictions imposed

In West Europe we encounter more that certain social groups are confined to menial and despised jobs or even get no opportunity on the work-market. When somebody is called Mohammed he may be sure it will be much more difficult to get a job than when he would be called Jef. Arabic looking people shall find it more difficult to be able to rent a place or to buy property.

In Europe they say there does not exist a cast system (or caste) but if they are not careful it will come in existence or (better said) it will grow (because it is already here but denied). In our 21st century ‘Untouchability‘ and ‘Speciesism‘ have become a reality also in Western Europe. We can clearly see that more and more different values, rights, or special consideration is given to individuals solely on the basis of their species membership, origin and faith. There are many who are not minding positive discrimination and taking it up for one particular religious group (the Roman catholics). Today we may find the atheist caste wanting to direct the Christian-caste, Islamic-caste, and may we find different rejections of castes or groups of people.

It seems that France and Belgium are limiting the human rights laws for some groups in their population, which should give us the idea they are discriminating. By singling out a type of person or thing for special negative treatment or denial of equal treatment and to act in a prejudicial manner against someone or something, they have chosen the way of deprivation of individual liberty.

Oppression

Lots of Caucasians seem to think that all those women are oppressed, but is it not they who know bring oppression and take away those women’s freedom to cloth themselves like they want? Clearly we could see several women being downtroddenmaltreatedhenpeckedbrowbeaten and subjugated or abused and tyrannized.

The country

which prides itself for liberté, égalité, fraternité, has unfortunately fallen short in recent times, with more social division and social prejudice arising within the country, due to the public suppression and rejection of religion; the consequent of which has led to violent eruptions.
It is also precisely through the social persecution of the wider Islamic community in such acts which aim to strip them of their beliefs, that it seems that the French government are validating individuals’ fears, rather than attempting to diffuse them. {France’s banning of the ‘Burqini’ is the rejection of its founding principles}

Swimwear

An image of a woman wearing a burkini

Forbidden: a burkini-clad woman on the beach

This iconic image of Peggy Moffitt modelling Gernreich’s monokini, which got a lot of controversy, was initially published in Women’s Wear Daily on June 3, 1964 and shows how one was still afraid to show a naked tummy.

What should people have against a full body swimsuit for any sort of woman, being Catholic or Muslim? (When we were child our parents had to wear full swimsuits or where fined.) Shall people, who went diving, have to take off their wetsuit before they come onto the beach? If they may walk on the beach with a wetsuit why not women in a full swimsuit?
Why are so many against wearing a swimming costume which covers the whole body with the exception of the face, hands, and feet, suitable for wear by Muslim women, which got the name bourkini/burkini/burqini, but has nothing to do with a bourka/burka/burqa or with the rider’s burka/burqa, which is long, thickpiled, nor with the traditional man’s coat made from felt or karakul, or with the Ukrainian traditional garment or Kobeniak, or with a two-piece bathing costume called bikini (or close-fitting bathing suit worn by men) and even less with a monokini, being just the opposite of it?

Women their freedom taken away

Are so many West Europeans so afraid women cannot stand up for themselves? And certain feminists do they not see there is much more at hand than just sexism?

We must be aware that there is so much more going on in our deranged world where Jihadi terrorist managed to get the fear burning hard over here in our regions that nobody seems to feel at ease when they see something that smells to Islamism. The politicians fell in the trap by creating laws in a hurry which limits the freedom of many women who have nothing to do at all with the faith of those terrorists, because they have chosen the path of God and a religion of peace or salam, hence the name Islam.

burkini.jpg

The Mayor of Cannes has prohibited access to the beach for those wearing clothing that disrespects secularism Reuters

By prohibiting the burkini the French state limits even more those they say would be oppressed. It is strange that lots of people do not understand those women wearing a burkini get just the freedom to go into the water or to lie on the beach like so many other women do.  By banning the burkini those women their freedom to enjoy a good day at the beach is taken away. By the ban also their children are targeted, because they also shall not be able to come to the beach and to go into the water to play with their mother.

The justification for the burkini ban is no longer about ‘liberating’ women, ….. but Arundhati Roy’s remarks about France’s earlier ban on the burka are still apt:

Arundhati Roy W.jpg

Suzanna Arundhati Roy , Indian author who is best known for her novel The God of Small Things (1997), which won the Man Booker Prize for Fiction in 1997

When, as happened recently in France, an attempt is made to coerce women out of the burka rather than creating a situation in which a woman can choose what she wishes to do, it’s not about liberating her but about unclothing her. It becomes an act of humiliation and cultural imperialism. Coercing a woman out of her burka is as bad as coercing her into one. It’s not about the burka. It’s about the coercion.

Arundhati Roy Capitalism: A Ghost Story, p. 37.

Armed police forcing women to remove their clothes on the beach is nothing other than an act of humiliation – humiliating women to punish a minority group for the actions of a few individuals. {France and the Burkini}

Huda Jawad, Community Coordinator at Standing Together Against Domestic Violence, wrote

Choosing to conflate a cultural and religiously inspired mode of attire – which women choose to wear to feel safe from the sexual gaze of society while partaking in a very ordinary pastime – with a terrorist group is a convenient ‘othering’ of fellow citizens in times of national crisis. {The burkini ban is misogynistic – and Western feminists are turning a blind eye}

Secularism, good attitude and proper values

You may wonder why those women in burkini would not wear appropriate swimwear and would not “respect good customs and secularism” whilst others with their bare poo and bare bosom would be an example how women should be clothed and are respecting the western values.

There exist already a lot of discriminatory treatment towards physically unattractive people. Now to that ‘Lookism‘ we have the discriminatory view of men who can not see enough naked flesh are can not find enough to look at by a woman.

Today people not only make judgements of others based on their physical appearance that influence how they respond to those people, when their clothes are not liked by French men such men may now demand those clothes to be taken off.

The announcement by David Lisnard, UMP Mayor of Cannes, that he is prohibiting access to the beach to anyone not wearing what the French would consider suitable bathing suits, did not make many French question, what right he had, to decide a woman had to wear on the beach and why he choose the more naked version of the feminine, instead of a more clothed, and what believers in God would call a more decent one.

Victims of ISIS, the scapegoat of the French nation

Lots of people consider themselves victim of ISIS but forget that the worst victims are Islamists or ordinary Muslim people all over the world. Europeans and Americans may not be blind and should see that the greatest causalities of Isis have been Muslims, and the banning of the burkini illustrates the extent to which France’s fundamentalist secularism is singling out the most visible and vulnerable group in society for blame.

The governement is giving in and has found its scapegoat and used the local Muslims to blame for the terror the security forces of the country could not avoid or obstruct. Like the Fascist in the past liked Scapegoating many Europeans and Americans now blame the refugees and Muslims for the many problems they have in their country. In the past Jews and immigrants were prominent among the groups that were demonized. In France the Jews got a sibling now in the Muslim community. Today it is not a “Judeo-Masonic-bolshevik” conspiraciy or left-wing agitation, but the presence of immigrants and the amount of active Muslims.

As in the past the governement points the finger to those ‘outcasts’ and originators of all sin. They go with the people and hope to gain popularity by taking measures against the Ummah or Muslim community, making their life so difficult that they hope those other believers will soon leave. Implication was that depriving these demons of their power and influence would cause the nation’s major problems to go away.

Lots of people are afraid that those Muslims would be able to convert many French and that the nation by those converts would be more and more becoming an Islamic state.

Limiting the liberty of Muslims and other believers

Now by limiting the liberty of the Muslims in their own country the governement hopes to please the rest of the population and to take the attention away from their own weakness and the blame they have it not in control.

The governement, because of all the discussions going on about the burkini’s and religious clothing, decided that when the schools will open again, no religious dress or symbol shall be allowed, and as such no head covering for Jews and Muslims or necklaces with religious symbols.

Education minister Najat Vallaud-Belkacem, a former government spokesperson who is politically more to the left than former interior minister Valls and disagrees with the burqini ban could not stop the measures.

For the start of the debate, concerning the burqini Huda Jawad  also questioned in the Daily Independent

Since when did wearing a burkini, in most cases a loose fitting nylon version of a wetsuit, become an act of allegiance to terrorist movements? Do Marks & Spencer or House of Fraser know that their attempt to raise profits and exploit a gap in the over-saturated clothing market is selling and promoting allegiance to Isis? {The burkini ban is misogynistic – and Western feminists are turning a blind eye}

She also remarks

What is it about French secularism’s blindspot to its own racism and misogyny? The obsession to the point of fetishism with Muslim women’s mode of dress and covering curtails the most basic of human rights – that of self-determination and freedom of expression. As Arundhati Roy so eloquently put it, coercing a woman out of the burka instead of enabling her to choose is an act of violence, humiliation and cultural imperialism. Instead of extending the hand of fraternité, Mr Lisnard and his supporters are excluding Muslims, if not pushing them into the arms of radicalisers. {The burkini ban is misogynistic – and Western feminists are turning a blind eye}

Making the Muslims stigmatised as the bogeyman, that scarecrow seems already frightening lots of French people. They are pushing the golliwog in the corner or throwing in front of the swines that in the end they shall have to defend themselves so strongly and make their faith and stance even stronger, so that a new religious revolt can take place. Perhaps than the French shall get their eyes opened and shall be awakened from their cauchemard (their nightmare) they are afraid of.

The ruling from the state council suspends a single ban in the southern town of Villeneuve-Loubet, near Nice, but is likely to set a precedent for other towns that have prohibited the full-body swimwear on their beaches.

According to a senior politician in Norway’s right-wing Progress Party (FrP) Norway also has to follow the lead of a number of French towns and ban the burkini. Third deputy, Aina Stenersen, claims the full-body swimsuits worn by some Muslim women are “a symbol of radical Islam” and is convinced that French cities did right to ban the burqini from their beaches. The Progress Party is in the process of formulating a new party manifesto, and the burkini ban is expected to be included.

The FrP does, however, believe the fine faced by those who wear burkinis in France is too lenient. Ms Stenersen intends to double the charge to around 500 kroner, which is equivalent to £57.

A story to be continued and démarche or kick-off to be followed up .

To welcome women wearing burqini’s and coming into public spaces

Marcel Michelson for Forbes writes

Yes, wearing a burkini on the beach, as wearing a burka in town, is an ostentatious sign of religious adherence, as is the wearing of full robes by priests and nuns in public or the traditional garments and hairstyles of orthodox Jews.

Yet a burkini is also a means of emancipation for Muslim women, allowing them to bathe despite the strict, male-dominated, rules under which they have to lead their lives.

In a way, we should welcome burkini’s and encourage Muslims to integrate more in French, or European, society. {Burkini Debate In France Shows Lack Of Tolerance And Understanding Out Of Fear For Strangers}

burkini-nice.jpg

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Please come to read:

  1. On French beach French police forces woman to undress in public
  2. Is Europe going to become a dictatorial bastion
  3. France and the Burkini
  4. Islamophobia or nah?
  5. Bitches, Puhleeeeze….
  6. The Burkini
  7. The Burkini Ban
  8. France’s top court to rule on burkini ban
  9. My Burkini and I
  10. Universal concern: not naked enough
  11. This gif sums up the whole ‘debate’ on #BurkiniBan
  12. Burkini must be banned, France’s Sarkozy says as he launches election campaign
  13. France’s War on the Burqini
  14. Dear white people of France: being forced to undress wasn’t exactly the liberation I was longing for
  15. Thoughts on Burqini
  16. Modest Swimwear: The Burkini
  17. Burkini and French Secularism
  18. France’s banning of the ‘Burqini’ is the rejection of its founding principles.
  19. 7 facts about France’s burkini ban that make outsiders very uncomfortable
  20. Planned ‘Burqini Day’ irks French far-rights
  21. The Swimsuit War of 2009: Year In Review 2009 (swimming)
  22. France’s highest court suspends burkini ban in test case
  23. Burkini ban: Norway’s right-wing Progress Party calls for full-body swimsuit to be outlawed

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Further related articles

  1. French Web Round-Up: 5 Things That Made Me Smarter This Week
  2. Sea Water, Sweat and Tears
  3. Please exit calmly and quietly.
  4. Is EU discriminating against Israel by labeling settlement goods?
  5. Landlords Will Face Tougher Consequences For Discriminating Against (Most) Renters With Criminal Records: Gothamist
  6. U.S. House of Representatives’ Chaplain Accused of Discriminating Against Atheism, Judaism and other Minority Religions
  7. 3 Helpful Hints on Dismantling Racial Boundaries in the Classroom
  8. On My Mind (Vol. 4)
  9. I’m Gonna Dress Like a Charlie Brown Ghost Next Time I Go Swimming
  10. What does it mean to cover?
  11. Ban The Burka
  12. What women need is security
  13. Breaking News: France requesting to Saudi Arabia’s ‘Morality Police’ for training their police force!
  14. Islam, France, Burkini: A chit chat on FB
  15. Third French burqini ban after Corsica clashes
  16. Beach Party Outside French Embassy Protests The Burkini Ban On French Beaches
  17. East Essence: Shop Islamic Clothes For Your Whole Family!
  18. True life story- Two plastic sacks
  19. Waitress
  20. Yttrandefriheten: Opinion live?
  21. Di burkini e di diritti
  22. Burqini dan Islamophobia Prancis
  23. Τα Marks&Spencer, έβγαλαν και μπουργκίνι, μαγιό για μουσουλμάνες
  24. Τη θέση του μπικίνι παίρνει το … μπουρκίνι

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Filed under Activism and Peace Work, Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Fashion - Trends, Headlines - News, Juridical matters, Lifestyle, Political affairs, Religious affairs, Social affairs, Welfare matters, World affairs