Tag Archives: Poisonous words

Words spoken too fast or too hard

In the previous article we mentioned the dangers of reacting to quickly and in a wrong way. Around us we always may have people who would love to see us to jaded, become angry or to be helpless. Some people will try to get us so on our nerves we act in an non-Christian way.

The words spoken too fast or too hard then can at their turn also evoke anger or sadness. The same we may have to hear our or others their words taken out of context. Those words also may be otherwise referred to, may even have a devastating effect.

Problem is that once said, once used certain words you can not alter them any more. The impact of speech and language is greater than we dare accept as true. Perhaps not meant to be hurtful or poisonous the can have a terrible effect like the bite of a scorpion.

In this world we do have learned to speak, but forgot to listen.
As old as politics, the question is asked:

“Please listen to the citizens!”.

Nederlands: foto. Deelnemers in de zaal luiste...

Participants in the hall listening to a speaker behind the conference table at the 26th Decentralistiecongres (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The conflict model used by politicians, makes it difficult to really be open to another. They discuss a lot, while of true listening is often not the case. Therefore, there is constant, abundant and widely needed rhetoric to convince the other.
Poor listening is a disease of our time. In the political world there is an increasing noticeably cramped of the fellowship. It results in a kind of lack of oxygen that “listening to each other ‘prevents’ ‘Listening’ starts where talking stops.
When we listen with half an ear we do not hear. It’s about making time, to empathize and give space to the other. It means to hear what the other person says or even more: to hear what the other will not say. You will share his or her experience.

Listening happens for 30% with our ears and 70% with our hearts. The right words can do wonders at the right time, because they can comfort, heal and help liberate. Who has mastered the art of listening, is able to find the right words.

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Preceding articles:

An arm around the shoulder

Soft values? Needed heart- and- soul!

Disscusion Questions

For a Dutch version / Voor een Nederlandse versie: Wie luistert, ontwikkelt de gave van het spreken

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Additional reading

  1. A tongue to speak slowly and well-considered
  2. A listening ear
  3. Think before you speak
  4. Be still and listen
  5. Listen, or thy tongue will keep thee deaf
  6. If we view the whole world through a lens that is bright
  7. Feed Your Faith Daily
  8. When we love we do not need laws
  9. Looking for wisdom not departing from God’s Word
  10. Get up in the morning and pray for the Lord’s blessings

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Lifestyle

Tact? Knowing when it is better to remain silent!

Words can be weapons.
When words are sent into the world without careful consideration and impulsively, they can have a devastating effect and hurt. Poisonous words are always offensive and can terrorise. Bullying can be hell for children in school, for adults at work. It is the cause of many a deed of desperation. “We did not intend it that way”, is then the most common excuse. But what was the intention?

A tactometer…
… is a tool that determines the sensitivity of your skin. This is very closely related to what tact is: the capacity to judge the sensitivities of human association correctly so as to act correctly and subsequently.
To be tactful is to be tactile : to have a sense of touch, a kind of subtle discernment to correctly sense people and circumstances.

To know when it is best to remain silent

…is at the same time to know when to talk. For is it right to abandon someone to whom an injustice has been committed? Can we remain silent when disdainful words are spoken? To suffer from insulting remarks is very offensive, but neither is it a sign of tact when spectators remain silent in order to save themselves and not have to share in the mess.

The eternal middle course.

In fact it is about the capacity to sense when it is better to remain silent, thus about the correct silence. Just as it is about finding the right words at the right time. All this requires training. One needs to really become aware of which impact all this has on people and  human association.

In essence it is important to remain kind in all circumstances. To return people in the most tactful way to themselves and each other. In this way one helps to keep the harmony, so that everyone can continue with themselves and each other.

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Dutch version: Tact? Weten wanneer je beter zwijgt!BzN-Mov Without a Name-Logo_EN

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Additional literature:

  1. Think before you speak
  2. Free to be quiet
  3. Be still and listen
  4. Be kinder than necessary

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Filed under Activism and Peace Work, Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Headlines - News, Lifestyle, Movement Without a Name, Reflection Texts, Welfare matters