Tag Archives: Parenting

Parenting, self-interest and some ugly choices!

When choosing to have children this implies taking up certain responsibilities

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To remember

  • a lot of us in our generation seems to forego the essence of who we are as humans, as people and not just women => If trend continues => people it would hurt most = women themselves.
  • working + multitasking like a machine =  prerogative set by societal norms + the media =  oppressive as those expectations putting women in the kitchen and keeping their thighs tightly shut.
  • I mean what is any outcome really worth if it does not involve choice? It might be packaged differently but still remains devoid of any real progression.
  • women seem to wait till a cloud floats over their marital bliss, to decide to turn into a feminista.
  • all about grace + ladylike behaviour.
  • parenting risks something much bigger + continues to impact generations to come. A far more scary prospect, if you ask!
  • When deciding to become a parent > elements like ego + self-interest needs to automatically move lower on the priority list.
  • child you produce = you + your partner decided to bring them out.
  • child =/= your private property to do away with
  • child = lifelong commitment.
  • Selfish parents often procreate a far worse version of themselves while fighting custody battles over their egos.
  • tiny change in an adult’s life can impact a younger person’s impressionable phases in life, in fundamental ways.

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Related

  1. those with young
  2. 30 Days of Thanksgiving: thankful for moms
  3. Stop making it about you and other offensive things people say
  4. This is The Difference Between Parenting Preschoolers and Teens
  5. How do I know if I’m a great parent?
  6. I Don’t Owe You Anything
  7. Parenting Rule #1: Always Be Suspicious
  8. One of those days ….
  9. It’s time we got rid of our mum guilt
  10. Twin Parenting: You Can’t Take Pleasure In Every Minute
  11. Help the Divas in Your Life Cope with Grief
  12. Children Can Be So Rude
  13. Feminismo y paranoia
  14. Día de las niñas – SuperVioletas
  15. Una feminista estadounidense abortó a su bebé sólo por ser varón: “No podría traer otro monstruo a este mundo”
  16. Las Mujeres “NO” somos Histericas!

Shoutbox

I know what you’re all thinking about. Whether this is yet another piece about whether women can have it all. But in addressing the contention around that question, a lot of us in our generation seems to forego the essence of who we are as humans, as people and not just women. If that trend continues, I think the people it would hurt the most is, well of course – us. The women themselves.

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Filed under Being and Feeling, Lifestyle, Re-Blogs and Great Blogs, Social affairs

Still Hope though Power generating long train of abuses

In modern times we also had times when people were oppressed and victims of totalitarian regimes. Even today many states did not learn from the past ans still try to seek to control all aspects of life.

By the years governments tried to have the adults running nicely in line. Sometimes they forgot the younger citizens but also at other times they tried to use them to get to know more about the parents or as a stick behind the door for the parents.

Some did not take in mind that it is crucial to form the next generation, to make sure that the parents guide their children the right way. Having children in their teen years off on the right track is a must to have stability in the later years.

THE ALLIED OFFENSIVE IN ROMANIA, HUNGARY AND C...

The Allied Offensive in Romania, Hungary and Czechoslovakia (August 1944 – May 1945). Borders of 1948 (after the 1947 Treaty of Paris), before the creation of GDR and FRG. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There have been times, and perhaps they are returning, that parents gave a lot of consideration to what kind of father or mother they wanted to be to their children. At certain times the parents also wanted to protect their offspring and did not let them hear too much of their political thinking. At all times parents thought about their children how to make it better for them and how they best could raise and unleash them on this world.

Many forms of and many books on bringing up children saw the day light. From one end, having severe discipline to letting everything free has been tried. Some found it also better to make their children dependant on them others did everything to get them independent.

Europe has seen countries where it had become custom to tell lies, to spy on others, and to use everything from the state as theirs. In the East of Europe people even got the disruptive and burdensome attitude that anyone who did not steal from the state was stealing from their own family, eventually became commonplace.

There were many aspects of a person’s day-to-day life that were not recognized during totalitarian times as directly caused by the failures of the state, but which certainly were failures of the state, and are failures that are easily repeated wherever a state sees it best to control an economy.

As writes in Czechoslovakia’s Velvet Revolution: 25 Years Later:

Today, even in the most free-market Western countries, governments participate in massive economic intervention, as if they have learned none of the poignant lessons offered by Soviet-style controlled economies. Government intervention is praised in the West by those who do not have an understanding of markets and tend to confuse the concept of a free market with crony capitalism.

With medical care, pharmaceuticals, and education, for example, the West insists on hindering itself by undermining the market. In doing so, it almost certainly punishes the weakest members of society. Just as the central planners of Czechoslovakia in the last century claimed to act on behalf of “the people” while acting to their detriment, the social democrats of the West in this century follow in those footsteps.

In contrast, personal computing, telecom, the Internet, and burgeoning technologies are areas where technology has moved with such dramatic creativity that governments have been nearly incapable of restraining the markets.

Every year, the government-regulated industries become less efficient and more expensive while the market-regulated industries become ever more efficient and less expensive.

Because of the states wanting to regulate everything and always demanding more taxes and more sacrifice pay for more work, the citizens become more dissatisfied and disappoint with the system. You can call it no wonder that there has come such a distrust in the political system of the ex-communist countries as well as the capitalist countries. They have come from families which have felt the difficulties when the government took everything in their hands. There have been too many unpleasant attempts at using government and economics to control the people.

In Central Europe there is some scepticism toward any political and economic system.  Many look back at 1989 critically and wonder if the right decisions were made during the transitions.

Some even look at the time before that with rose-colored glasses and long for what was. Some prospered in the old system and miss it. While the old system promised comfort to some, it was not a system of individual freedom. {Czechoslovakia’s Velvet Revolution: 25 Years Later}

The world could witness a dramatic meltdown of communist countries: Poland, Romania, Hungary, East Germany, Bulgaria, and Czechoslovakia, while the Soviet regime, supportive of these systems since the end of the Second World War, sat by helplessly and watched. Leaders made vague statements about the need for peaceful transitions and elections, while the people on the ground completely ignored them.

English: Monument to the student manifestation...

Monument to the student manifestations of November 17th in Prague, repressed by the police, they led to the fall of communism in Czechoslovakia.  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What can clearly be seen is that caused the uprising of the people was their frustration with the system. The core of the problem, it appears, relates to civil liberties and the very old-fashioned conviction that the country is ruled by a tyrant who must go. But years before the governing party was not looked at as a tyrant, though often it also wanted in previous time to be the sole ruler. the biggest problem, I think, is that the expectations where not filled in by the system and the system failed the people who had greats hope in change. Often people resisted favouritism and thought to find a system which would consider all people equal and finding it that all should share the common goods. But then they saw that it perhaps was even worse than in the system before and party members chose all the country’s elites based solely on personal loyalty to themselves.

In many cases it took a very long time before the citizens came to realize that they outnumber the government and that they when they unite can do much more than those few in government trying to rule them. This fundamental reality that the world too often forgets, is at the core of the relationship between any government and any people, in all times and all places. The people far outnumber the government, and for that reason — and even when the government is heavily armed — every government must depend on some degree of consent to continue its rule. If the whole of a people rise up and say no, the bureaucrats and even the police are powerless. This is the great secret of government that is mostly ignored until revolution day arrives.

When there is no transparency in the system there shall be no standing credibility for the citizens and they will loose interest and their belief in the governing establishment. then there are the misconceptions and people getting wrong ideas because there is no open and fair communication between governing persons, the state, and its inhabitants. when the citizens start feeling they are left out and that there is no account taken of them or that they are no part any more of the public and political debate, they shall rise up against the system.

When Doomthinking starts taking over than the state should come to see that there is a real problem. Often it is more a matter of not having a good relationship any more between the governing people and the members of the state who start feeling to be left in the cold by those who got their vote or who have taken the power without consult of what the people wanted.

rightly remarks:

The difficulty for the state comes when its will to power generates what Thomas Jefferson called “a long train of abuses” that create a burning desire within people to rise up and demand freedom. Because, after all, it is the right of a people — is it not? — to alter and abolish the form of government under which they are forced to live.

Parents do want to see their children able to live in a world where they can expand their dreams. They want so much more for their  children than a culture of entitlement and a single-minded obsession with self-esteem. When parents are getting terrified of not providing the perfect environment for their children’s future success, states should start worrying, because than the state comes at risk.

Good parents will strive to create an environment where their children are allowed the critical landmarks of growth that come from making mistakes and getting into danger every once in a while. As Victoria Dougherty writes:

The kind of danger that comes from being permitted to ride their bikes unsupervised or watch a horror movie or settle a dispute without adult intervention. We don’t always succeed. {On Making a Man}

Though her people, she finds to be

salty. Playful but intense, eccentric.We thrive on poetic double meanings, and can be as dark as we are passionate and sentimental. We believe in curses and we believe in that tiny, niggling feeling – the kind that prophecies are made of.  The soul’s equivalent of that barely detectable scratch in your throat just before a debilitating bout with the flu. {When Pigs Fly: Thoughts on Slavs, Santa, and eating the family pet}

She also tells when communism fell, the restitution process didn’t have much to offer to he old families.

Restitution, for those of you who might be scratching your heads, is a lot like it sounds. It’s a process by which the Czech government returned properties stolen by the communists to their original owners. {A Little Something to Get the Holiday Season Started}

In the past several people found that their country had betrayed them and now again the danger is looming that people will feel the same way. In the past they saw a country filled with a people weak and corrupt, and run by a government to be bankrupt in every possible sense of the word.

What is most important is, is to know when people their hopes are shattered they shall fall down in a deep well trying to do everything not to drown. Parents even in bad times tried to give their kids a shade of light in the darkness. They want their kids to believe that from the depth of the valleys, in the deserts of despair, there is hope

… as there is the unquenchable oasis, the immense breadth and depth of the human spirit… always.

Let us be careful that we always shall be able to give hope to this but also to the following generations.

“Hope is the anchor of the soul.”“Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success; but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.”– Vaclav Havel (former President of Czechoslovakia and playwright)

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Additional reading:

  1. Capitalism
  2. Doomthinking or a real problem for Europe
  3. Transparency is the key to credibility for the EU
  4. Citizens to be put at the heart of the public debate
  5. Citizen University and the difference between Citizenship and Activism
  6. Migrants to the West #2
  7. Migrants to the West #8 Welbeing
  8. Poignant Imagine
  9. Private: Faith Over Fear
  10. Left behind for economical emigration
  11. This Week Twenty-Five Years Ago: The Velvet Revolution Succeeds, December 1989
  12. Many present American citizens do not want to recognise their Land of hope and glory
  13. The Free Market (and all that) did not bring down the Berlin Wall

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Extra reading:

  1. Czechoslovakia’s Velvet Revolution: 25 Years Later
  2. A People’s Uprising Against the Empire
  3. The Limits of Globalization
  4. Ceausescu’s Rumania: Stalinism with an Iron Fist
  5. Report from Romania: Ceausescu’s Legacies
  6. History Carnival #140
  7. Prelude to Bandung: The Interwar Origins of Anti-Colonialism
  8. Culture Makes All The Difference: Reclaiming the Culture of Economics

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  • Czechs Mark 25th Anniversary of Communism’s Fall (voanews.com)
    Monday’s celebrations included protests against the country’s current political leadership under President Milos Zeman, whom some believe to be overly pro-Russian.
  • Are Czechs giving up on moral responsibility? (triblive.com)

    Havel emphasized the importance of morality in politics and economics and said that we should base our actions on “responsibility to something higher than my family, country, my firm, my success.”

    That sense of moral responsibility for others led Havel, until his death in 2011, to be one of the world’s leading advocates for human rights. He believed that people such as himself, who had experienced Communist totalitarianism firsthand, had a special responsibility to warn the affluent West about the dangers of appeasement. And he felt that a “politics where economic interests are put above basic political values are not only immoral, they are suicidal.” In his last years, he applied this thinking especially to Russia and China.

  • Revolutions of 1989: how the old regime was torn down (socialistworker.co.uk)
    “All that is solid melts into air,” wrote Marx and Engels in the Communist Manifesto of 1848. Their description of seemingly indestructible societies falling apart was particularly apt in 1989.A revolutionary process began that year which destroyed the world order in Europe. The Eastern Bloc countries fell first, and shortly after came the Soviet Union that had controlled them since the end of the Second World War.As millions took to the streets, regimes which described themselves as “socialist” stood exposed as brutal dictatorships.

    In October, East Germany’s rulers were celebrating the 40th anniversary of its founding. The ruling SED was among the most hardline Stalinist parties. It thought its repressive state apparatus would forever protect it.

    But discontent was brewing. Groups of radicals who had previously huddled isolated in churches now found that first hundreds, then thousands, were ready to answer their call. A similar spirit gripped workers in country after country.

  • Václav Havel’s Blueprint for Operating in a Dangerous World: By Bohuslav Sobotka, Prime Minister of the Czech Republic **** (ruthfullyyours.com)
    Havel, who died in December 2011, was a modest man. He might have gotten a laugh out of such a pompous event. When bidding farewell as president in February 2003, he had this to say: “It all happened so suddenly that I did not even have time to properly consider whether or not I was up to the task.” And yet he oversaw epochal events both at home and abroad and in many ways he was an active participant.No sooner was he sworn in on Dec. 29, 1989, than President Havel had his foreign-policy mettle tested as he coped with the far-reaching repercussions of the Iron Curtain coming down. The former Communist countries of Central and Eastern Europe were mired in domestic political and economic woes. They also found themselves in a geopolitical void as the Soviet Union fragmented, and simmering ethnic tensions in the Balkans cast another shadow over the future.Havel was acutely aware of the ills and wrongs of the world. While to some he may have seemed a naive idealist, he was convinced that noble ideals should guide his country’s foreign policy to help it stay on a righteous path.
  • Klaus in EU Parliament: 25 years after the fall of communism (motls.blogspot.com)
    Some readers may find 100 minutes to listen to a talk by Czech ex-president Václav Klaus in the EU Parliament that he gave yesterday:
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    Klaus would explain why the communism felt – it had totally discredited itself and there were no real supporters anywhere anymore. He would think that socialism would never return. But he was wrong. Here we have the European socialism.The ex-president recommends the EU to be dissolved just like communism was stopped.While I am not hysterically afraid of such a scenario, I am still uncertain whether this is the right way to proceed, whether it would bring greater benefits than costs. What do you think? Richard Sulík of Slovakia has also attended (and spoke!) – and he’s even less certain about the dissolution’s being a good idea than I am.
  • Ukrainian textbooks to remove “Great Patriotic War” designation for WWII (euromaidanpress.com)
    New textbooks in Ukraine will replace the Soviet term “Great Patriotic War” with the phrase Second World War, which is used worldwide, said Education Minister Serhiy Kvit, November 26, before a Cabinet meeting.Kvit said he supports the position of the Institute of National Memory to restore the phrase Second World War as a replacement for the term Great Patriotic War, which was reintroduced in Ukraine during the Yanukovych government
  • China media: Premier Li’s Russia visit (bbc.co.uk)
    Chinese Premier Li Keqiang, who is in Russia on a three-day visit, will meet President Vladimir Putin on Tuesday.Both countries signed at least 40 agreements in energy, aviation, space, high-speed railways, tourism, and finance, reports say.Several papers have criticised Western media outlets for “badmouthing” the Russia-China relationship.

    Showing strong support for Moscow, the overseas edition of the People’s Daily observes that the US has “doubts or even enmity” towards China and Russia because it feels the two countries are “seeking to change the world order”.

    “The US is the main architect and main beneficiary of the post-war world order. The world order that it is defending is different from what many countries, including China, are hoping to see. However, China is not suggesting tearing down the existing order, it just wants reforms,” says the article.

    The paper adds that the “US still sees China as the biggest potential challenger to the existing world order”.

  • Silesia: a borderland in Central Europe (britishlibrary.typepad.co.uk)
    Silesia is a region now located mainly in Poland with small strips in the Czech Republic and Germany. Historically the province has been divided into the north-western Lower Silesia and the south-eastern Upper Silesia with the two biggest cities Wrocław (Breslau) on the Oder and Katowice respectively.  In the early Middle Ages Silesia was populated by various Slav tribes and was part of Great Moravia and Bohemia.
  • The Free Market (and all that) did not bring down the Berlin Wall (mostlyeconomics.wordpress.com)
    There are certain narratives which are never questioned. One such narrative is rise of free market thinking in the last 30 years or so. Now, this itself was not new as before great depression we had similar thinking.

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Filed under Economical affairs, Educational affairs, Lifestyle, Political affairs, Social affairs

Let you not be defined by the effect of your wrong choice

Leah Houseman, writing as Sophia Bar-Lev writes:

as we continue to make our way through the Hebrew month of Elul which is dedicated to repentance in order to prepare our hearts for the approaching Festivals of the Lord (Lev. 23), this is the time to take an honest look at our personal acceptance of responsibility.

A big difficulty for a lot of persons is that they never want to take up the blame for something that went wrong. Most people prefer to give others the fault. When they themselves did something wrong they are fast to find somebody else to blame, even when they can put it on an imaginary figure like a devil.

These days of reconciliation and looking at the transition of the old into the new year it is time to look into our own heart. When we are prone to blaming others for our problems, we should reconsider and wonder if it is not high time to change our attitude.

Our world is still at war. Also in the Torah readings for this week the Jews find wars, at the beginning and the end. In the Weekly Torah Commentary — Ki Tetzei September 5, 2014 the author wants us to look at the cause-and-effect relationship, something which is too often overlooked.

From the writings we can get that the clear absence of unity between parents breeds rebellious children. today we do find lots of families with problems between partners and children. Many adults forget how their actions, their way of treating others, affects their children.

how parents live affects their children far more than what they say.

How many times we do see today that partners are not honest to each other and betray the people around them? In how many cases negativity becomes a bigger facto in the family life than positivity. Parents saying to their children they are not doing well enough. Family-members shouting at each other. Are the parents willing to remember the stupid things they did themselves when they were children? Are they willing to accept that their children learn by their mistakes?

English: We are not born parents we have to le...

We are not born parents we have to learn how to be parents (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In a household each member should help each other to make it work. Together they should aim to go united on the path to greatness by choosing to learn the lessons of every experience we have in life.

The lesson for all of us is unavoidable: Human beingschildren and adults -are too easily tempted to blame others for their own shortcomings. The Torah sets a higher standard, one consistent with how we were created.

Every human being has Free Will; regardless of what has happened to you, what parents you had, what hurts you’ve experienced, what hardships you’ve endured, You – and only You – have the responsibility for your decisions. It is ‘we’ not ‘them’ who have the ability and the power to choose whether we will wallow in negativity and in the past; or will we have the wisdom to learn from every life experience, using each one as a stepping stone to greatness. Cycles of abuse and pain can and must be broken. Amon and Moav, as well as Lot, has so many opportunities to learn from their experiences and become great men. It was for choosing to focus on their own feelings of disenfranchisement, their experiences of cruelty and selfishness, their own anger and sense of fatalistic doom, that they were forever barred from the congregation of Israel.

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Please read the exhortation by Sophia Bar-Lev: Weekly Torah Commentary — Ki Tetzei September 5, 2014

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Find also to read:

  1. Running away from the past
  2. Trusting, Faith, Calling and Ascribing to Jehovah #15 Exposition before the Creator
  3. Being Religious and Spiritual 7 Transcendence to become one
  4. The Existence of Evil
  5. Satan the evil within
  6. What is life?
  7. Elul Observances
  8. Never making mistakes because never doing anything
  9. We all have to have dreams
  10. Youngster all over the world with the same dream
  11. 30 things to start doing for yourself – #6 is vital.
  12. Not holding back and getting out of darkness
  13. It is a free will choice

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  • Judaism Does Not Allow Us to Hate (algemeiner.com)
    Ki Tetzei contains more laws than any other parsha in the Torah, and it is possible to be overwhelmed by this embarrass de richesse of detail. One verse, however, stands out by its sheer counter-intuitiveness:

    Do not despise an Edomite, because he is your brother.

    Do not despise the Egyptian, because you were a stranger in his land. (Deut. 23: 8 )

    These are very unexpected commands. Understanding them will teach us an important lesson about leadership.
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    If we think less of a person because of the colour of his or her skin, we are repeating the sin of Aaron and Miriam – “Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he had married, for he had married a Cushite woman” (Num. 12: 1).
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    Generous Tit-for-Tat says, don’t always do to him what he does to you or you may find yourself locked into a mutually destructive cycle of retaliation. Every so often ignore (i.e. forgive) your opponent’s last harmful move. That, roughly speaking, is what the sages meant when they said that God originally created the world under the attribute of strict justice but saw that it could not survive. Therefore He built into it the principle of compassion.
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    Do not forget the past but do not be held captive by it. Be willing to fight your enemies but never allow yourself to be defined by them or become like them. Learn to love and forgive. Acknowledge the evil men do, but stay focused on the good that is in our power to do. Only thus do we raise the moral sights of humankind and help redeem the world we share.

  • Ki Tetzei (thejc.com)
    The term mamzer has no precise English equivalent. Hertz in his translation of the Chumash renders it “bastard”, but clarifies in his commentary that this “does not mean a child born out of wedlock, but the child of an adulterous or an incestuous marriage”.The moral difficulty raised by this law is obvious. Why is the child punished with severely restricted marriage opportunities because of the sins of the parents? Doesn’t this sidrah itself say further on that “Parents shall not be put to death for children, neither shall children be put to death for parents; everyone shall be put to death for his own sin”(24:16)?
  • Ki Tetzei (anitasilvert.wordpress.com)
    I guess before we can fully forgive or be forgiven, we need to engage with the memory of what’s happened, and sometimes it takes time for that to dissipate.  Maybe that’s also why we start thinking about forgiveness a full month before Rosh Hashanah; to give ourselves and even God time to work on the process, and it’s not clear if the process begins with Forgiveness, Remembering or Forgetting.   This year, I’m still in the remembering stage.
  • Ki Tetzei (thejc.com)
    One example of how the laws of war differ from peace time concerns the protection of enemy civilians. Are they protected by the familiar category of pikuach nefesh — the injunction to save life at nearly all costs. Following the approach of the verse above that at wartime many rules are suspended, Rav Yosef Babad of Tarnopol (1800-74) argues in his iconic work, Minchat Chinuch, that there can be no sense in applying pikuach nefesh during a war. On the contrary wars are won by minimising the value of life.
  • Ki-Seitzei: DIY Judaism (5tjt.com)
    We must take precautions. Although we believe in miracles, we are not permitted to rely upon them. There is a Yiddish proverb that “the man destined to drown will drown even in a glass of water.” But that doesn’t mean that you have to be the one to put his head under the hose. In short, we believe in the concept of bashert but we mustn’t live by it. Otherwise, why go to work? We say in the bentching (Grace after Meals) that G‑d is the feeder and provider for all. So if G‑d will support us, why must I schlep off to work?
    Clearly, this is not the Jewish attitude. That’s why it is a commandment of the Torah to safeguard our health. Likewise, we are not to live dangerously by leaving roofs unenclosed or swimming pools unfenced or our doors unlocked. As they say, “Trust in G‑d, but lock your car.”
  • Ki Tetzei: Doing Jewish (anitasilvert.wordpress.com)
    We’re heading into a New Year.  How will you connect your inside spirituality to your outside…connect your Jewish feelings to your Jewish actions?  It isn’t necessarily about praying or changing your kitchen (although…maybe that’s what your spirituality learning leads you).  But maybe you eat a little differently, and know why.  Maybe you take moments to see the good things in your life, and acknowledge them);  maybe you find out about a Jewish way of acknowledging those good things (that’s called blessings).  Jewish life is a verb.  How will you Jew?

 

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Filed under Lifestyle, Spiritual affairs

Putting your feelings into words and sharing them

Beings with feelings

Let's Talk About Feelings

Let’s Talk About Feelings (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

All human beings have feelings. We have to cope with them. There are many ways to cope with them.
We also see lots of things happening around us. We are touched with what we notice, and we also want to give a voice to our feelings. We all want to be heard as well.

You too may find that putting your feelings into words and sharing them with a sympathetic listener will make it easier to deal with them.

Writing can also be a helpful release. Some who find it difficult to talk about their feelings may find it easier to express themselves in writing.

Looking at old writings

Most of the things today are not written for education, but we still should find time to look for writings that can edify us. We can take time to look at the old writings which were written for our instruction, that through our endurance and through the comfort from the Scriptures we might have hope. In the very old books we can find people who wrote down their thoughts so that others also could hear about them. But they also put their feelings in their writings to get freedom in their inner soul.

Following the death of Saul and Jonathan, the faithful man David wrote a deeply mournful song in which he poured out his sorrow. This emotional dirge eventually became part of the Bible book of Second Samuel.—2 Samuel 1:17–27.

Crying may also serve as an emotional release. “For everything there is an appointed time, even . . . a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) To be sure, the death of someone we love is “a time to weep.” Tears of grief are nothing to be embarrassed about. The Bible contains many examples of faithful men and women who openly expressed their grief by weeping. (Genesis 23:2; 2 Samuel 1:11, 12) Jesus Christ “gave way to tears” when he neared the tomb of his dear friend Lazarus, who had recently died.—John 11:33, 35.

Working through grief takes patience, for you may feel that you are on an emotional roller coaster. Remember that you do not have to be ashamed of your tears. Many faithful individuals have found that shedding tears of grief is a normal and necessary part of the healing process.

Sharing is helping

Putting down words of feeling can help you but also can help others.

It is a matter of sharing love for each-other that we should share thoughts with each other. We, by bringing matters to attention, can bring others to think about that matter. By publishing our own story we might show others they are not alone having those feelings or having to go through the same struggle.

Social networking Web sites

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

The last few years several placed their little pieces   and their little stories on Facebook. Recently they added Twitter to give some shouts into the internet world, or they threw in a nod to Google+ or Circles. We may even find pets with Facebook pages and politicians’ Internet campaigns and etiquette for R.S.V.P.’ing to events and the best way to wish someone happy birthday without feeling like an exclamatory fool! Social networking Web sites are the latest and greatest way to interact with other users on the Internet. Thirty-five percent of adults on the Internet now have a profile on at least one social networking site, and 51 percent have more than one. Three-quarters of users between the ages of 18 and 24 have an online profile.

English: CrazyFriendz is the free online socia...

CrazyFriendz is the free online social networking service. The service allows users to make new friends and manage existing relationships. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Pew Research Center found that 89 percent of these people use the sites to keep up with friends, 57 percent to make plans with friends and 49 percent to make new friends.

There are articles that tell us that sharing is the most popular form of internet use today. But what is being shared and how? As the world of P2P file sharing grows and evolves, various torrent search sites distinguish themselves. Some bands don’t mind if you share their music, and they even encourage it. But what about reading material? Who wants to share interesting reading material? Who wants to let others know he  or she did find something interesting to read?

This UML diagram describes the domain of Linke...

This UML diagram describes the domain of LinkedIn social networking system. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, Friendster, Urban Chat and Black Planet are just a few of more than 100 Web sites connecting folks around the world who are eager to share their thoughts and feelings. But just like in real life, there’s such a thing as sharing too much information (TMI). It’s easy to get caught up in the social aspects of sites like Facebook, but what you choose to share is there for all to see if you don’t limit who can view your information. The same study by Pew Research found that 40 percent of users have open access to their profiles, allowing anyone to view their information. The other 60 percent restrict access to friends, family and colleagues. Sharing personal information with strangers can be dangerous business, and there are some things you should definitely put on your “do not share” list.

Crossover, public and genres

With 51 percent of social network users taking advantage of more than one site, there’s bound to be some crossover from one to the other, especially if you have the sites linked. Sometimes we may find interesting bits or would like to talk or discuss matters not on our own private blog, because it could bring an other site of us in the forefront we do not want to be known directly, before our friends and bosses, or want to make sure no connection is made endangering our work.

Many do not mind sharing lots of things on Facebook, but are afraid to share real serious material on their blogs or on other blogs which reserve a place to contribute stories, like this site does.

Social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace cater to a smorgasbord of users while people using sites such as Subeta and Neopets are mostly teens. Social networking sites can be very specific, too. For instance, you’ll find sites for just about every type of car, sport and sports team or music genre. And one of the largest groups of specialized social media sites is dedicated to parenting.

Many men and women will be, are or hope to be parents. That’s why social networking sites for parents are growing all over the Internet.

Communities and chit chat

Friendster

Friendster (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How many sites will you be able to find about the way of life, or how to help each other, working to get a better living together? You may find lots of “Communities” where is being chit-chatted about little things of the world or materials things, like puppets, cars, games, etc.. but who wants to take time to share something about the beauties of nature. Sharing about the beautiful ladies, we may find enough, but about the plants and animals we shall find less. Mothers, fathers, gamers, fun or entertainment-park users, all have some sites where they can meet each other. They all have their own social networking sites aiming toward connecting, like minded of from the same sort, online. Users on those sites can choose to navigate in different easy to use areas including Discussions, Groups, Things to Do, Photo, Video, Coupons, Marketplace and My Stuff.

Some do not mind to pay to have a “Family’s home” on the internet. Other sites, like Minti, ask to join discussions and offer advice to others in search of the answers to the perpetual questions that come with raising children, providing a forum for parents to share advice and network with parents with similar interests, problems or questions regarding parenting.

Focus of the writers

At those social network-sites the focus of the writers is mostly on themselves. From Guestwriters has no pretension to become also a social network site. It does not aim to bring the focus to particular writers. Instead of aiming themselves in the picture, the writers on this site do want to bring subjects and things they find interesting into the picture. The focus is on the material and not on persons or individuals. The material presented here wants to be undone from the writer, bringing thoughts which could be for everybody and should move many.

Here we want to confront issues and not so much persons. the aim is to give place to matters which should interest many and which should be of importance for human beings. The people joined here, do not want to put themselves on the first row. They want to approach others with sympathy and respect. They might approach the sharing of their or your thoughts and feelings with others. This they want to do with an attitude of respect for them-self with respect for yourself and for the other persons.

We are aware that not many people are interested to take time to read deeper going articles or poetry today. But we can only hope enough interested people would come along and would not mind giving their ‘contribution’. We would love to find a place where there may be created a healthy discussion atmosphere. But this site is not in the first place a discussion forum. No, it wants only to be a place where different thoughts may be uttered next to each other, without anybody taking a grudge or being disturbed or scandalized. We do not want feelings over the presented material to run high. We do not want to find polluting or poisonous words, but spiritual feeding words. We do not want to present destructive powers on this site. Contrary we would love to see building up material, presenting positive material.

Peace loving agreement to disagree

We would like to find all peace loving people over here. We may all want to have change, but we do not want to get change by violent actions. The general idea is to come to a place of peace with each other. We do know that peace at any cost is not peace and that we should work for it. We shall have to dare to put wounds open to be able to let them heal. We shall have to point the finger to the ulcers in our community. We shall have to face the illnesses in our community. Yes, to get on our way together, to find peace and a nicer world to live, we shall have to see the good and the bad things in the world, and be able to talk about them. It is over those good and bad things we would like to see writings on this site, by different people, who might have very diverse opinions. We want not restrict such divergent ideas nor a diversity of interests. Varied opinions may be sharply, but over here we do not want them to hurt any body. We all want to accept that each writer may present things from a different viewpoint. though we may differ from opinion we do not mind sharing together those different viewpoints and enjoying such a variety of ideas. (Imaging all wearing the same grey uniforms, all using the same words in the same order.)

We do not want to be blind for the different views there are in the world, but also do not want to ignore the different solutions which could be possible. In case a conflict would be shown it does not mean that such conflicting views would not allow a good relationship. It is not because we may have different opinions we do not like each other. We do not mind to admit there is conflict and consider the way we handle it more important and part of enjoying the peace in our relationship. Looking and discussion about the differences always keeping an open mind and having a willingness to work it out to come to a place of peace, shall give both parties fulfilment.

It may surprise you, but it should not, that we allow different opinions to exist next to each other. Presenting such different ideas also does not mean we would like to provoke argument nor agreement. We want to show that people can live together in peace even with different ideas and believing in agreement to disagree.

Willing to come together

Our hopes are that we may find enough people willing to share ideas and to taste the different flavours others might present here. It would be lovely if we can bring a pallet of different writers from all over the world. Perhaps it might be the nostalgic feeling of what we had in our children time, which was called in Dutch “poëzie”, an album of verses, little stories, uplifting texts and pictures.
The big differnce now being that in that album everything might have been centred to ourselves, now the focus goes to the others around us.

As adults we have come to see that the world doesn’t revolve around us and the world doesn’t revolve around the person. One of the keys to success in relationships is learning to yield to each other. Over here we would like to offer a place where everybody can come along and find material that can feed him or her to go on. In case many persons do not mind sharing positive ideas and inspirational thoughts, those who want to write on this site would be pleased to offer a source of inspiration and spiritual guidance.

Providing a warm, supportive environment

We all get some nice but also very unpleasant moments in our life. at the darker moments in life either we can get in our own little corner or look for a place where we can enjoy some light. We do hope this site might become such a place where many people shall be able to find some comfort, peace, tranquillity and find some inspiring notes, which can help them to get above the garbage they are feeling in.

We do not want to be pretentious squirts. We make no pretensions to expert knowledge. We have not the presumption we can solve all problems. But we do think we can help each other in different ways. The writers as well as the readers can find support in each other and build up a relationship of good feeling.

We want to offer stories of many people by showing an interest in their journey. We love it to share those voyages throughout the world. Not to walk alone is much nicer than staying in our recluse. We prefer not to be lone wolfs, but to find many people willing to live together in peace on this beautiful earth.

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Join us today by becoming a reader or, why not a contributor as well?

blogger-for-peace-van-2

Step in the van or in the bus and go on a nice voyage with us. (By Clicking on the picture you may find out more about the Bloggers for peace.

In case you have already your own blog, why not contribute now and then to this one and presenting some of your writings?
In case you also write regularly about love and peace, you might consider also to become a Blogger for peace.

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Additional reading:

  1. Words in the world
  2. Helpful words
  3. Words to inspire and to give wisdom
  4. Spring in sight
  5. Hope
  6. Working of the hope
  7. Hope does not disappoint us
  8. The true hope of eternal life!
  9. Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark
  10. Hope as long as you live

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  1. Living With(out) Regret and Negative Feelings
  2. Words are important
  3. Liberty-human-rights – article 10 – freedom of expression
  4. Twitter, Outrage, and Jesus
  5. 10 Powerful Tips For Sharing Thoughts and Feelings
  6. Did You Ever Wish for a Fast Way to End an Argument?
  7. Relationship Help–Allow Someone to Struggle to Get Strong

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  • Make your readers do the weeping. (scribbledrevisions.com)
    Grief and pain are universal human emotions from which none of us are immune. You’re familiar with it. So am I. We all are.
  • Emotions and Faith – Part 1 (commentsonchristianity.com)
    Humans are emotional creatures. It’s one of the things that God gave mankind that He did not give to animals (or at least not on the same level we experience them). It’s what makes life beautiful, painful, joyful, sorrowful and meaningful. It’s a gift and a curse, a crutch and a burden.
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    I feel an anger when I hear about violent or hateful acts. When I hear of murders, rapes, kidnappings, torture or even hateful speech I am disturbed. I cannot fathom the evil that is in this world.
  • Into The Blue (anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com)
    “Even as you suffer apparent defeats, you may discover that what you are losing is not really anything significant. You may learn that the needs of your ego are not your real needs at all.” – Robert Hand.

    It is sometimes said that our own suffering makes us more empathic towards others and their suffering. Because we know what suffering is, we see it, recognise it, understand it in others. We understand what they are going through, because we too go through it.

    Pain, sadness, grief, connects us. We all feel it, experience it, get to know it more than we would ever like to.

    Yet our own pain, sadness, grief, and suffering can disconnect us too. Especially when our mind and ego get involved in how we process our emotions.
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    I feel blue and discouraged as things repeat themselves relentlessly and my efforts never materialize, never lead me to progress. My empathy is an obstacle as I keep thinking if I say how I feel it will hurt him and it makes me shiver; I have another pending situation with someone to whom I really need to make things clear and although she is the one who had pricking words for me, I feel guilty if I choose stand for myself.
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    Do not fear the deep, dark, often seemingly bleak abyss of blue, breathe it in, breathe it out, let it flow and flow with it, see where it leads. We become stronger as we allow ourselves to embrace all of ourselves, all of life as it is. As we become stronger, how we experience life changes.

  • Journeys to Resurrection (improbableoptimisms.blogspot.com)
    “How could God let this happen?”
    We hear this question all the time: after shootings, after tragic car accidents and plane crashes, after typhoons and mudslides and earthquakes. During the seven years I volunteered as a lay hospital chaplain, I heard it often.
  • He Is Our Comfort In Times of Grief (csahm.com)
    grief is inevitable because death is inevitable. All of us must pass from this earth one day and leave loved ones behind.
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    Everyone grieves differently, and at a different rate. We must learn that tears are okay; the feelings of isolation or emptiness are normal and will pass
  • The Knit Soul (1031lifeministries.com)
    There are hundreds of friendships and companionships in the Bible, but few compare to the perfect example of David and Jonathan. David was the captain of Saul’s bodyguard and a high ranking member of his army. He had slain Goliath and helped tear the Philistines to shreds; he had killed his ‘tens of thousands’ (1 Samuel 18:7). Saul attempted twice to kill David, and despite this Jonathan stayed by his side because “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David,” (1 Samuel 18:1) and the two became as brothers, as well as brothers-in-law.
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    stop spending any effort on unhealthy relationships because the ones that matter will be much more fulfilling. If there is somebody that you would weep and fast for then cherish that person and let them know how important they are to you.
  • Tender Love (essentialthingdevotions.com)
    What is the most moving film you’ve ever watched? I went to see Les Misérables last week and my husband was outraged that I didn’t cry! Needless to say he shed more than one tear himself. It wasn’t that I wasn’t moved, I was deeply. But I didn’t cry.
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    For the record, there have been many films I have been moved to tears by – Message in a Bottle, Titanic, It’s a Wonderful Life, Pay it Forward to name but a few. And of course, the hopeless romantic in me cannot help herself from blubbing at films like PS, I Love You, Sleepless in Seattle, 50 First Dates and Love Actually! Cold-hearted? I think not :-).
  • It Stinks. (gillianbarr.wordpress.com)
    The Bible doesn’t shy away from death. In our culture, we do. We use euphemisms. Bodies are whisked away on gurneys to be cleansed by undertakers   We avoid the word “death”–we don’t say someone died. “He passed,” “she transitioned,” “he crossed over,” “she has gone to a better place.” We “celebrate their life” but go to great lengths to avoid the cold hard word “death.” We prolong life in hospitals, we avoid making wills or estate plans or advanced directives. We don’t tell our pastors when we are sick or in trouble because we “don’t want anybody to see us like that.” We may show death and gore in action and fantasy film plots, but we avoid talking about how it happens in real day to day life.
  • 10 More Hollwood Actors and Performers Who Are Bible-Believing Christians (theblaze.com)

    Last year, TheBlaze brought you a list of 10 notable celebrities who are openly Christian. While critics generally charge that there aren’t many “believers” or genuine religious adherents in Hollywood, some would argue against this claim, noting that there are certainly some in the entertainment industry who embrace Christ’s teachings.

    Regardless of the exact numbers, there are surely more than 10 celebrities who live by Christian doctrine, so we thought we’d bring you yet another round of Jesus-friendly singers and actors.

  • Pro-Faith Hollywood Power Couple Discuss Upcoming Mini-Series ‘The Bible’ on TheBlaze TV (theblaze.com)
    As society currently rewards reality television, violent YouTube videos and tends to portray people of faith as “cheesy” or “corny,” Beck pointed to the Emmy Award-winning actress, most famous for having starred in the the popular series “Touched by an Angel,” to showcase the best sides of faith and faith-centered entertainment.

    Downey, who has produced and starred in a myriad movies and television productions including “Monday After the Miracle” and “Borrowed Hearts,” and was honored as People Magazine’s “100 Most Beautiful People,” shared what faith means to her in an increasingly-secular world.

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