Tag Archives: Loving kindness

Detachment by Family problems

In the previous article Liza Borstlap writes

I came to believe that the conflict in my family had created itself.

It would be lovely if we all could grow up in very close lovely families which can give us everything we need. Though it does not work that way. The world is not made in such a way that all can be born at the right good place, in the right good class, receiving all the good education or even being all very bright.

First Lady Michelle Obama reads "The Cat ...

First Lady Michelle Obama reads “The Cat in the Hat” to children in Ms. Mattie’s class at Prager Child Development Center March 12, during her visit to Fort Bragg, N.C. The First Lady spoke with Soldiers and Family members as part of her initiative to care for military families. First Lady vows support for military families (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Even when all the material richness would be there when you are born in a rich family it does not mean you will find the luck to have a good relationship between all the members of that family.

Wherever we may be born in whatever for family we are just part of one big turmoil. Every day, people’s lives are touched by political, social, economic, and religious conflicts that tear the human family apart. In these conflicts, it is common for people to take sides — verbally or otherwise — with the nation, tribe, language group, or social class of which they are a part.
Even when people are not directly involved in some conflict, they often find themselves favouring one side over another. But regardless of which person or cause they endorse, to whom are they really giving support?

The Bible plainly states:

The whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one.” (1 John 5:19)

Families are not always such perfect units that shields the individual from a cruel society. Mostly we do find that in those families where there are no rules and morals and no eye for ethics the chances of getting derailed are grater than in religious families where certain religious rules go over the human will.

We must come to see we too can often be the cause of a problem. We too can be making problems even bigger than they are. Also by becoming indifferent for what goes on we can get ourselves in a deeper mess than we would love to see ourselves. Indifference in the end shall create emotional agitation and stress which shall become so unbearable that the person shall find no inner peace left. Danger then is that one tries to look for detachment, thinking it can preserve the self.

Another big problem is when people are not open enough to tell each-other what is on their liver. When not willing to let yourself be seen by the other like you are, you are that other person not giving the opportunity to get to know you, like you are really. It is by not having the open spirit to allow each other to be him or herself that restrictions are also laid on each other. When people than start remaining silent about the interference, the neglect, the labelling and toxic in-fighting, that often leaves a person with a limp and the frustration may ferment the malfunction in the own body as well as in the facility of being part of one united family.

It is not by secretly covering our own failures and mishaps until we can identify the black sheep that can take the blame, that we are going to come to a good solution. The opposite, that will bring us deeper in the well.

Deep in us may we find it screwing and tormenting. Our head can becoming spinning and looking for answers, but not seeing the places where those answers are easy to pick up. This deep-seated conflict between the desire to know and the inability to find the answer has tormented thinkers and philosophers throughout the ages. However, since God has put that yearning or desire in our heart, is it not logical to look to him to provide what is needed to satisfy that desire? After all, the Bible says of Jehovah:

“You are opening your hand and satisfying the desire of every living thing.” (Psalm 145:16)

For all those conflict which are between the family members, those persons should come to see what binds them, what makes it that they are brother and sister and that their is something in their blood which is more than special, even unique.

Even when we do feel so much hurt by our own family members, we should come over the point of being selfish and come to see that we can be a necessary link to heal the wounds made previously.

Being kind to those in our family involves following the admonition of the apostle Paul:

“Really put them all away from you, wrath, anger, badness, abusive speech, and obscene talk out of your mouth.”

Every day, Christian families should communicate with one another in a respectful manner. Why? Because good communication is the lifeblood of strong, healthy families. When disagreements arise, to smooth the conflict, try to solve the problem rather than win the argument. Happy family members make an earnest effort to promote kindness and consideration for one another. — Colossians 3:8, 12-14.

By turning to God’s Word, the Bible, we can find satisfying explanations about life and death and about God’s eternal purpose regarding the earth and the human family. — Ephesians 3:11.

Kindness is positive and makes us want to do good to others. Thus, we seek to be useful, considerate, and helpful in an agreeable manner with other family members. It takes both individual and collective effort to show the type of kindness that speaks well of a family. As a result, not only will they have God’s blessing but, in the congregation and in the community, they will honour the God of kindness, Jehovah. — 1 Peter 2:12.

When frustrated, when in conflict with members of the family it would be best to seek Biblical advice and to put your own “self” not in the centre but alongside all others in the family. By going to look for answers in the Holy Scriptures solutions may be found. Even when others do not want to know of God, you yourself will be able to change so much that your improved attitude shall be helpful to heal the wounds.

Seeing all the conflicts around us we also should try to become part of them. Best we take on a form of neutrality. Taking care of not to become misled with what is going on around us we should show others the other way to come closer to each other and to have agapé love.

We ourselves should know that our time on earth is limited and that we should make the best of it. Our hope should be in the coming new world, and it is that idea that we should share with those around us. Our task is to come up for others and to protect them, but we must know that we can not take them or ourselves out of this world. (John 17:15, 16) We live in this world and have to live with it, but that does not mean we have to live according to it. No, we have to live according to God’s Law and by following His word many blessings may come over us already in this life. By not wanting to be part of this world, but by being part of God’s world we shall find ways to bring the love of Christ over unto others as well and then the love of Christ may also grow deeper in us.  .

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Preceding articles:

When you stay in your lane, there’s no traffic.

Family happiness and little things we do

Families with four or more kids most happiest

.under the gazebo.

How to Raise a Happy Child

Crisis man needed in this world

Dissolve The Barriers You Created

What is important?

Learning that stuff is just stuff

72 Synod Fathers on the topic “The vocation and mission of the family in the Church and the contemporary world”

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Additional reading

  1. Behold, My mother and My brothers!
  2. Importance of parents 1
  3. Importance of parents 2
  4. Father and motherhood
  5. Youngsters, parents and the search to root in life
  6. Some one or something to fear #4 Families and Competition
  7. Teach children the Bible
  8. Poverty and conservative role patterns
  9. Dignified role for the woman
  10. Connection between women and environmental sustainability
  11. Three years ago and look back at several decennials ago
  12. Growing rift between observant parents and their children
  13. Synod of Bishops concerning minors
  14. Two synods and life in the church community
  15. Need to Embrace People Where They Are
  16. Conclusion of the synod of bishops for seeing the family in the light of the Gospel and church tradition
  17. Don’t be the weakest link
  18. I’m not a Mooch
  19. Patience is the ability to count down before blasting off
  20. Agape, a love to share with others from the Fruit of the Spirit
  21. Better loaves when the heart is joyous
  22. Jehovah’s Witnesses Shunning ex-members adverse effects on family relationships
  23. Agape, a love to share with others from the Fruit of the Spirit

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Further reading

  1. Conflict: Understanding Suspense
  2. Understanding others
  3. Understanding between religions
  4. Urges
  5. Subconflict, and Lots of It
  6. Fighting words: The role of conflict in fiction writing.
  7. No one listening? Then stop shouting, you might get heard
  8. The Rise and Fall of Action – for all levels
  9. Never Doubt Yourself
  10. Remembering Infinity: Caution…Egos at Work!
  11. Follow your heart when it’s in conflict with your brain!!!
  12. Can the World Bank Reduce Conflict in Nigeria by Providing Social Assistance?
  13. I Find my self conflicted
  14. Governance in a Mature Society, Part 2
  15. Communicating With Family – How to Let a Family Member Know They Hurt You
  16. Blessings and Duct Tape: How to Help Your Kids Get Along
  17. Stand Firm
  18. Hope For Battle Weary Mamas
  19. Family Conflict and Summer: The Best Time To Work Out Issues
  20. The father-child meeting
  21. The Problem With Beliefs
  22. Fighting With Your Spouse: How You Indirectly Effect Your Child
  23. 6 Tips for Handling Family Conflicts While Caregiving
  24. 10 Things You Need To Hear If Your Significant Other And Your Family Don’t Get Along
  25. Hurt People Hurt People
  26. Divorce: Part 1
  27. Divorce: Part 2, the minor problem
  28. Their’s Was A Perpetual Love Affair
  29. Depression: Postpartum Depression in Mothers
  30. Personality: The Birth Order Effect
  31. Frustration
  32. Finding Home
  33. The Very Best Way To Understand Grace
  34. Just like Granny told you, “Count your blessings!”

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Filed under Activism and Peace Work, Being and Feeling, Crimes & Atrocities, Lifestyle, Social affairs, Welfare matters

Mishmash of a legal code but importance of mitzvah or commandments

Rabbi Sylvia Rothschild, working in England, writes

Interestingly while Judaism teaches that mitzvot are divinely ordained and therefore not to be questioned or even necessarily understood, it does at the same time try to explain them as a rational force, and many commentators suggest reasons for our doing them.

We are told: – “The essential reason for the commandments is to make the human heart upright” ( ibn Ezra on Deut 5:18); or “Each commandment adds holiness to the people of Israel.” (Issi ben Akavia,  Mechilta on Ex 22:30); or even that “The purpose of the mitzvot is…to promote compassion, loving kindness and peace in the world” (Maimonides, yad, Shabbat) {Parashat Mishpatim. What is the purpose of mitzvot?}

English: The Covenant Confirmed, by John Steep...

The Covenant Confirmed, by John Steeple Davis (1844-1917), as in Exodus 24 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Those who believe in the God of Abraham, should know that this God of gods has given the many commandments to help man find his way in this universe and to live in a proper peaceful relation with God’s creation.

The world has been given Mishpatim, which we may consider judgements by ‘laws’ or ‘rulings’ and they will govern the community who agree to accept them. But not all humans will accept them, that’s a fact. Also in the previous times people of God did not have it easy at all times with those Mishpatim, though just after Moses has finished relating all the various laws to the Children of Israel, we can see in the Old Testament how often those People of God went astray.

English: Moses Showing the Ten Commandments, b...

Moses Showing the Ten Commandments, by Gustave Doré (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Real lovers of God should agree “to do all the things that God has spoken” (Exodus 24:3). They should cling to the Word of God as the only Perfect Rule Giver and should go for keeping “miẓwah”, the divinely instituted rule of conduct. As such, the divine commandments are divided into (1) mandatory laws known as , and (2) those of a prohibitory character, the . This terminology rests on the theological construction that God’s will is the source of and authority for every moral and religious duty. Many of the old laws were given to and concerned only special classes of people, such as kings or priesthood, Levites or Nazarites, or are conditioned by local or temporary circumstances of the Jewish nation, as, for instance, the agricultural, sacrificial, and Levitical laws.

For us today some rules may be curious, and that is why at a certain moment in time some changes were allowed. It was not God Who changed, but the people who changed and God came closer to them by adapting His rulings. As such we may now face other food laws and about sanitation than at the early beginning, plus about how to relate to others, because certain concepts changed, like the position of slaves.

Torah scroll and silver pointer (yad) used in reading

Torah scroll and silver pointer (yad) used in reading

Of the more than fifty mitzvot to be found in the sidra, we have some that deal with the treatment of slaves, with the crimes of murder and kidnap, with personal injury and with civil damages through neglect or theft. There are rules about witchcraft and idolatry, about oppression and unfair business practise, about applying legal codes in a prejudiced fashion and not giving false testimony; laws about not mistreating widows and orphans, and about care for animals. {Parashat Mishpatim. What is the purpose of mitzvot?}

When we look at those laws and regulations we may not forget that many still keep going and should be fulfilled by a lover of God. It is not because we have Jesus as our Messiah who liberated us from the curse of Law that the Law has ended. No, not at all. The Law still counts. Even now we have received a New Covenant, should we keep to those law covered in that covenant.

Too many Christians commit a mistake by thinking they do not have to do any works any-more. We still have to keep the works of faith, keeping to God’s Commandments.

In parshat Mishpatim, the Israelites learn that accepting the commandments is a 24/7 job. {Parenting by the Parshah – Mishpatim}

We also must be fully aware of the most frequent mitzvah in Torah, given at least 37 different times in the text,which  is repeated in the Mishpatim too –

“you shall not wrong a stranger or oppress them, for you were strangers in the land of Israel.”

It is a mishmash of a legal code but what comes through loud and clear to the reader is the importance to the Jewish people of mitzvot, commandments.

From Torah we see that for the ancient people there were particular reasons for observing the mitzvot – firstly and most importantly because God tells us to. Secondly there was in the ancient understanding an idea that people who obeyed them would be rewarded, and people who disobeyed risked punishment. Then there were two different types of reason given in Torah – that the mitzvot were intrinsically imbued with divine wisdom, and that they would lead us to achieving holiness.  {Parashat Mishpatim. What is the purpose of mitzvot?}

Each person who wants to become a Child of God, or to belong to God’s People shall have to resign oneself to the Will of God. But none can belong to the children of God when they do not accept others to be their brethren and sisters, and loving them as their siblings. The agape love for the others is a indispensible necessary part of belonging to God’s family.

In Judaism as in Christianity too there might be a tension in their tradition

– do we do the commandments (mitzvot) simply because there is a Commander (metzaveh) who told us to do this and this should be enough, or do we search out a meaning behind each mitzvah? And if we do the latter, what happens if we cannot find a suitable reason and meaning? Do we abandon the mitzvah as unreasonable or pointless? Or do we continue to do it in the hope that meaning will emerge? After all, at Sinai the people famously answered “na’aseh ve’nishma, [first] we will do it and [subsequently] we will understand”. {Parashat Mishpatim. What is the purpose of mitzvot?}

The tension and balancing between holding a religious belief and a rationalist position was as great in the ancient world as it is today. {Parashat Mishpatim. What is the purpose of mitzvot?}

For those who love God ‘blind faith’ was never a prerequisite, neither of a Jewish life nor of a Christian life.

Judaism tends to the position of na’aseh ve’nishma – doing in order to understand, blending faith and reason and giving neither the upper hand, but instead knowing that if we behave “as if” we believe, if we follow the way of mitzvot, then further understanding may come. {Parashat Mishpatim. What is the purpose of mitzvot?}

From Scriptures we should come to understand there is no way of doing “as if” because God sees the heart and He does knows each of us. We can not hide anything from Him.

1 Samuel 16:7 The Scriptures 1998+  (7)  But יהוה {Jehovah} said to Shemu’ĕl, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him, for not as man sees, for man looks at the eyes, but יהוה {Jehovah} looks at the heart.”

Jeremiah 17:10 The Scriptures 1998+  (10)  “I, יהוה {Jehovah}, search the heart, I try the kidneys, and give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.

Moses with the Two New Tables of Stone (illust...

Moses with the Two New Tables of Stone (illustration from the 1897 Bible Pictures and What They Teach Us by Charles Foster) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our hearts may not be removed from God and by our way of living we should show to others how God is in our heart. Our heart, our feelings but also how we act should always be pure, full of love for God and His commandments. When we are willing to give ourselves into God’s Hands He will bring us where He wants us to be.

Proverbs 21:1-3 The Scriptures 1998+  (1)  The sovereign’s heart is as channels of water In the hand of יהוה {Jehovah}; He turns it wherever He wishes.  (2)  All a man’s ways are right in his own eyes, But יהוה {Jehovah} weighs the hearts.  (3)  To do righteousness and right-ruling Is more acceptable to יהוה {Jehovah} than a slaughtering.

Each day we have to work at ourself taking care we keep to the commandments of God.

Meanwhile we are impacting on ourselves and on our world in a positive way as we are directed to behaviour that may not be our first instinct – to support the poor and downtrodden, to value life, to respect the boundaries of others, to rein in our own power and desires so as not to trample over the lives of others. The list goes on. {Parashat Mishpatim. What is the purpose of mitzvot?}

As tradition says again and again in different words, the same message:  “the commandments were given only to refine God’s creatures…”(Midrash Tanchuma). They change us, they cause us to think about what we are doing and not to act out of immediate self interest, they shape our behaviour and ultimately they may help us to bring holiness into our world. {Parashat Mishpatim. What is the purpose of mitzvot?}

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Preceding

When believing in God’s existence and His son, possessing a divine legislation

A Royal Rule given to followers of Christ

First man’s task still counting today

Whoopi Goldberg commandments and abortion

He who knows himself, is kind to others

Luther’s misunderstanding

January 27, 417, Pope Innocent I condemning Pelagius about Faith and Works

Our life depending on faith

Romans 4 and the Sacraments

Is Justification a process?

Letter to the Romans, chapter 3

Letter to the Romans, chapter 4

Additional comments to the 3rd Letter to the Romans

Additional comments to the Letter to the Romans 4

Comments to James remarks, about Faith and works

Which is worse–works without faith, or faith without works?

Christians remaining hidden not sharing the gospel

Witnessing because we love

Leading people astray!

Crisis man needed in this world

Preaching Christ Is Not Enough

Beautiful feet of those who announce the good news

Preaching by example

A Christian has to have eyes and ears and a tongue to use in good ways

Daring to speak in multicultural environment

Perishable non theologians daring to go out to preach

What Should I Preach ?

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Additional reading

  1. Bible in the first place #1/3
  2. Creator and Blogger God 3 Lesson and solution
  3. Creator and Blogger God 4 Expounding voice
  4. Creator and Blogger God 6 For His people
  5. God-breathed prophetic words written torah and the mitzvot to teach us
  6. Words God speaks unto all and the Spirit that quickens
  7. The Bible is a today book
  8. Statutes given unto us
  9. Necessary to be known all over the earth
  10. God’s design in the creation of the world
  11. Time passing away
  12. Best intimate relation to look for
  13. Let us not forget it was God who chose us
  14. Daily Spiritual Food To prepare ourselves for the Kingdom of God
  15. Engaging the culture without losing the gospel
  16. A god who gave his people commandments and laws he knew they never could keep to it
  17. Knowing where to go to
  18. I Only hope we find GOD again before it is too late !
  19. The inspiring divine spark
  20. A good idea to halt all activity for one hour some day
  21. Eternity depends upon this short time on earth
  22. Act as if everything you think, say and do determines your entire life
  23. Truth never plays false roles of any kind, which is why people are so surprised when meeting it
  24. Foundation to go the distance
  25. Preferring to be a Christian
  26. Aim High: Examples of Godly Characters to follow
  27. Purify my heart
  28. United people under Christ
  29. Honesty beginning of holiness
  30. Holiness and expression of worship coming from inside
  31. How we think shows through in how we act
  32. Object of first woe
  33. Think hard before you act today

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Further reading

  1. The Kotel Decision: The Parties at the Table
  2. Mishpatim פרשת משפטים
  3. Mishpatim – Who’s Serving Whom?
  4. Shift and Consolidation: Thoughts on the Torah Portions Mishpatim and Terumah
  5. Commentary for Mishpatim
  6. Mishpatim – Its just a White Lie
  7. When the plumbers stop society’s moral leaks
  8. Parashat Mishpatim /
  9. Shabbat Parashat Mishpatim 5776–Shabbat Torah Study at Adat Shalom Synagogue–Don’t Make Him Tell on You
  10. Mishpatim – Wholly Love
  11. Parshat Hashavuah: Mishpatim by Alex Gage
  12. Scripture for 2.5.2016
  13. Stole My Heart – Parshat Mishpatim 5776
  14. Parsha Mishpatim
  15. Shabbat Shalom! – Mishpatim
  16. Dvar Torah Parshat Mishpatim 5776 2016
  17. Mishpatim 5774 – Visión y Detalles
  18. Double Cry – Mishpatim 5776
  19. Il monoteismo etico – Parashat Mishpatim
  20. Mishpatim: Where heaven and earth converge
  21. Parenting by the Parshah – Mishpatim
  22. Parashat Kedoshim – What is it doing here?

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Filed under Lifestyle, Religious affairs