Couples reaching midlife and danger of divorce

Many marriages do not make it beyond their 40s

42 per cent of marriages currently end in divorce

42 per cent of marriages currently end in divorce

In the UK in 2019, 45 to 49 was the most popular age to divorce, with the average age being 46.4 for men and 43.9 for women, so clearly there’s a sea change of some sort happening in this fifth decade.

Relate counsellor Simone Bose comes across many couples experiencing “midlife malaise” at her practice.

“After 10-plus years of marriage, couples gradually make less effort and become complacent towards each other, and often the things they found attractive at the beginning can become what now annoys them. For example, relaxed becomes lazy, or assertive becomes bullying or ­controlling,”

explains Bose.

“It’s a crisis point because you see that life is passing you by and you wonder if you should settle or if you’re still young enough to have new adventures and even meet someone else.”

Marian O’Connor, ­psychoanalytic couples’ therapist at Tavistock Relationships says

“You have to be able to stand outside yourselves and look at what you’re doing to each other, and think about how you can make your life fun and nurturing and not just a life of tasks.”

Read more about: How to avoid divorce in your 40s

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